35 Amazing Tips From Parents of Adults to Parents of Kids

Yesterday, I asked on Facebook and via e-mail for parenting advice from those of you who’ve already raised your children to adulthood. The resulting responses were poignant and funny and heartbreaking and full of wisdom – and I couldn’t keep all this great advice to myself. So here are some of my favorites– Enjoy.

1. Encourage and allow your children to have opinions. Teach them to voice them with respect, and receive them with respect as well. -Melissa

2. Be engaged and active in your child’s interests. Go to every school play, band concert, scout award, sports game, scholastic recognition, etc. Do not be the parent “who just couldn’t get there.”  -Steve

3. Turn off your electronics and pay attention to what they are (and aren’t) saying. Your messages can wait until they’re in bed. -Loree

 

 

4. Never be the first to let go in a hug. -Danyale

5. Always keep an open line of communication with your kids. Don’t ever let them feel they can’t turn to you in times of trouble. -Joann

6. Keep your sense of humor. Have fun and laugh with them. -Kimberly

 

 

7. Unless it will result in a dangerous situation, try to let your children make their own choices as often as possible. -Margie

8. Eat meals together, as a minimum, every evening meal, and do it without distractions (no TV, no phones, no texting). Use the time to talk about the day. -Steve

9. Let your children serve and do for others so they can appreciate what they have. -Lori

 

10. When you are right, you don’t need to raise your voice. -Bob

11. Say yes a lot more than you say no. -Marty

12. If you say something, stick to it. Faltering when it comes to discipline is a parent’s greatest weakness. -Melissa

 

 

13. Be thankful of the teenage years, they keep you humble. You really have no idea how stupid you are until viewed through the eyes of your teen. -Betsy

14. Let your kids make mistakes. And after they make a mistake, make them face the consequences. Do not extricate your kids from the trouble they get into. -Molly

15. Make sure they know how to manage checking, savings, credit, and tax money. -Tarrant

 

 

16. Tell your kids you love them every day of their life. Give them a soft place to fall with love. -Sheila

17. As they grow and discover their passion and interests, know that they aren’t always going to be the same as yours or what you’d imagined or expected them to be and learn to be okay with that. -Laura

18. Unhook the gaming systems! -James

 

 

19. Never be afraid to apologize for something you’ve done as a parent. My most used line was, “I’m sorry for that. When I know better, I do better. But I’m not perfect.” Those apologies go a long way. –Kelly

20. Talk to your children early about sex, and keep talking. Their minds and bodies {and hormones} keep growing… so an open dialogue is a good thing. -Kimberly

21. Tell them often, “You’re a smart (boy) (girl). You can do anything you set your mind to.” Those words will resonate for the rest of their lives. -James

 

 

22. Be respectful of your children- They are real people who deserve dignity and to be listened to. Honor your children’s differences and rejoice in their uniqueness. -Mary

23. Trust your instincts! -Chaundelle

24. Allow them to try to answer questions of professionals so that once you are not there, they won’t reflexively reach for their phone in a counselor’s office to call Mom or Dad. Teach them to respect people in these positions so they will be civil, even nice, even if it’s just to get what they want. Their paths will be smoother in the most basic transactions. –Laurie

 

 

25. Don’t parent out of fear. Make decisions because you hope it will yield a positive result, not because you’re scared that if you don’t do something, there will be a negative result. -Ashley

26. Listen. A lot. Then ask a question and listen some more. It’s amazing what your kids will tell you if they trust you and believe you have their best interest at heart. -Steve

27. Let go of the ideas of what YOU want your children’s life to be like, what job they should have, the person they marry, etc. Your job is to teach them character, responsibility, and become the best version of them self as they grow. -Diane

 

 

28. Manners go further than being smart. -Tarrant

29. Breathe. Just forget all that stuff you HAVE to do and just breathe. Most of my stress was built from frustration about how the kids were driving me crazy while I was trying to do this or that. As soon as I learned to just GO WITH IT…it helped. –Marcy

30. Your marriage comes first. You and your spouse need time without the kids. And they need to know that. -Lindsay P.

 

 

31. You have to understand that your kid’s failures are not your failures. And sometimes you can do everything right as a parent, and still raise kids who are screw ups. -Christina

32. Calm down. About everything. -Holly

33. Love them unconditionally. Sounds simple and obvious, but boy is it hard to do when they are teenagers and making horrible decisions. -Gena

34. It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings. -Johanna

 

35. PRAY. -Kimberly

Header image, clockwise from top left: David Saddler/Flickr;  Stephen Coles/Flickr; Shinya ICHINOHE/Flickr; Silver-13/Flickr; Betsy Devine/Flickr; Seattle Municipal Archives/Flickr;   Doc Searls/Flickr; arianne/Flickr; Michael Sean Gallagher/Flickr