Ever since I moved to the outskirts of Big City, I’ve been deathly afraid of going gray. And I’m not talking about my hair. I’ve got that covered, if you know what I mean. I mean the kind of gray that’s really hard to get rid of. The kind of gray that makes a woman […]

My husband has a very subtle way of reminding me it’s time to do laundry. “I think we’re finally going to have enough money to get a digital Rebel,” I’ll say as we’re chatting one day in the kitchen (that would be a camera, y’all, not a redneck robot). “Yeah,” he’ll reply casually. “Now that […]

I like to tell people that I don’t have enemies. But that’s not exactly true. I do have an enemy, one who is so perfectly awful that I’ve launched a campaign to ruin her name among the members of my immediate family. She is known to most as The School Crossing Guard. But I’ll just […]

Thanks to all of you who loyally checked back to find out if I survived the freelance project. Last time I looked, all of my limbs were still intact- and my glass eye only popped out once. (Just kidding about the glass eye). (Apologies to my glass eye-wearing readers). I’ve missed reading about your lives […]

As if there weren’t already enough scandals and controversies in Lucindaland… Like the scandalous habits of my husband, who insists on putting soccer cleats on the table and leaving his dirty underwear on the hallway floor outside the laundry closet, rather than just opening the door and throwing them on the pile of dirty clothes […]

I’ve mentioned before that my husband is well-known in town. Since I used to be a TV person, I know exactly what he’s going through. It’s part of the reason we get along so well. But now that I’ve returned to the ranks of anonymity, he’s having to shoulder the local celebrity burden alone while […]

I’ve read many many blogs recently detailing the agony and ecstasy of back-to-school time. I’ve laughed with you and cried with you as your little ones faced new teachers and new friends and new enemies and new vomit (I’d love to link you to a post about Parisian preschoolers who vomit with excitement in class […]

I’ve written about the behind-the-wheel bitches of suburbia. The truth is, that’s not me. I’m pretty calm behind the wheel, but fret not, ladies, I am no saint. There is one place that turns me from a mild-mannered-mommy into a housewife-from-hell…. The Supermarket. I hate going to the supermarket, yet I can’t avoid its siren […]

Here’s a dirty little secret from the suburbs. The next time you get cut off in traffic, honked at when the light turns green, or tailgated in a school crossing zone, look closely at the offending driver… I’ll bet you three cans of Enfamil you’ll see a mom behind the wheel. Don’t be fooled by […]

It was a very bad day. I’ll try not to bore you with too many details, but it began way too early (5:45am), included two different early morning run-ins with two different foul-tempered adolescents, and only got worse when I learned that I needed to actually leave home and do a few interviews for a […]