When I was preparing to become a mom, I never ever ever thought I’d be on such intimate terms with poop. I have cleaned it out from under my fingernails. I have washed it out of my shirts. I have found it in my hair. More than once. I have learned that while no two […]

If I compare my 14-year-old stepdaughter’s high school experience with my own 15 years ago, there really aren’t that many differences. There are still preps. And goths. And geeks. And jocks. And stoners. Have I covered all the major categories? Apparently not. “14, why don’t I hear about Jerry Robertson anymore?” I asked her the […]

When I took Baby to her first doctor’s appointment at three months, it was a much Bigger deal than I had expected. “Everything looks great,” my doctor said, reviewing Baby’s statistics at the end of the check-up. “Her height is 52nd percentile and that’s perfect! Her weight is 48th percentile, and that couldn’t be better! […]

Being a soccer mom is so much harder than you’d think. It’s not easy remembering to bring 18 Little Debbies and Capri Suns to the Tuesday away game against the Bumbleville Buzzards. It’s no picnic realizing the dead animal stench radiating from your laundry closet (uncomfortably close to the kitchen table) is coming from a […]

I’ve already admitted I’m a snoop. But my snooping doesn’t extend only to my husband. Oh no, I snoop on the baby (well, that’s justified I guess- I’m a little worried that she’s going to stuff the “I” from her new foam alphabet somewhere it doesn’t belong), I snoop on the neighbors across the street […]

Like all of you, I’ve been watching Katrina coverage with interest– the wind, the rain, the flooding, the reporters-risking-their-lives-and-for-what?!-for-WHAT?! I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that Katrina was headed our way, but we’re comfortably inland- as in, several states from any ocean. So I wasn’t exactly worried about it. But by yesterday […]

Perhaps some child psychoanalyst out there can explain this to me. Because I am at a loss. Me: Breakfast? 16-month-old Baby: Best? Me: Lunch? Baby: Lohnsh? Me: Dinner! Baby: Din! Me: Breakfast? Baby: (pause). Best? Me: Lunch? Baby: Nose? Me: Dinner! Baby: Nose! Me: No, Dinner! Baby: Nose! Me: (sigh). Breakfast? Baby: Nnnnnnoooosssseee? Me: No. […]

As Baby choked on a meat stick today and regurgitated a pungent mixture of chicken and creamed spinach all down the front of my shirt, I began to meditate on why she’s got it so good and I… don’t. Not only does she have someone to follow her around all day and clean up her […]

I stumbled across a blog today detailing the daily physical and emotional abuse of a young wife by her husband and couldn’t tear my eyes away. I wanted to go over there with a pack of women and beat the shit out of the dude with vacuum cleaner parts. You might think I’m joking, but […]

We have a new addition to our family of five: Beece. “Beece!” Baby shouts each morning when she wakes up. “Beece!” she cries, looking around her before settling down with her bottle. “Beece,” she says mournfully during play time, searching under tables and around corners. She’s not satisfied until I’ve located Beece and brought her […]