Contest! Worst Kid’s Name Ever
I find one of Punky’s little acquaintances extremely irritating, even though she’s done absolutely nothing wrong. It’s her name.
Manhattyn.
Reading it on my computer screen right now is like hearing nails screech down a chalk board. Manhattyn? Manhattyn?! As if the name itself weren’t stupid enough, her parents had to go and spell it wrong, too?
Seriously, that kid is doomed to be a stripper. Manhattyn. Good lord.
This brings us to the topic of annoying kid names. And there are sooo many to choose from. When I wrote my pageant posts, I had a field day reading through the names of all the preschool-aged contestants. You can imagine that any mother who would pay to have her three-year-old professionally spray tanned will have come up with a doozy in the name department. Here are just a few of the names I came across:
Baylee Rose
Kassadee
Kasidy
Madilynn
Kassandra
Kennadee
Kenady
Kynnady
Haylie
Camdyn
Karsyn
Cambree
Seeing all of these names together makes me feel like I’m vomiting cotton candy. Ladies? It’s Kennedy. Kennedy. And Kennedy is a ridiculous name for a girl, no matter how you spell it. Just. Stop.
But crazy names aren’t limited to the pageant circuit. One year, my oldest stepdaughter had the following girls in her class:
Kaegan
Kailyn
Keegan
Meghan
Reagan
Deegan
Makes for a nice rhyme, doesn’t it? Enough with the -gans already!!
And of course, there are the baby name books. You know how each baby name book tries to boast that it has more names than the others? Well, I’m pretty convinced those baby name writers all have resorted to making shit up, just to say they have 40,000 and ONE names, unlike the other baby name books, which have only 40,000. I bought one when I was pregnant, looking for a good boy name, and had to wade through thousands of names like this:
Abelard
Quito
Hadar
Ranulf
Da-xia
Gaenor
Xiuhcoatl
I mean, these publishers ought to be ashamed of themselves. Sure, there’s probably some poor soul out there who thought Ranulf was a great name for their little bundle of joy, but does that name really need to be published just so you can boast that your book has the most baby name options? Going through all these ridiculous monikers made my head ache.
The name that takes the cake for me, though, is simple.
D.G.
D.G. was one of my oldest stepdaughter’s best friends back in fifth grade. The name D.G. sounds innocuous enough, until you learned what the D and the G stood for.
Daddy’s Girl.
Yes. Someone named her kid Daddy’s Girl.
So now it’s your turn. Tell me the worst kid’s name you’ve ever heard in the comments. I’ll let this contest run all week and choose finalists, which I’ll announce next Friday. You guys can vote for the finalists over the weekend and the winner will receive a nice little personalized prize for your own child from one of my friends.
Good luck!
>One of my friends just had a baby and named her Madyson. Oh, and another friend is due pretty soon with a boy. The name? Westin. Yes, like the hotel. (And no, that’s not where he was conceived. It’s derived from a family last name.)
>Kinadee Starr-because they saw a shooting star on the way to the hospital.
>Mersaydeez, obviously(?) pronounced Mercedes. Ugh! My arch nemesis from high school named her daughter Brooklyn — just like Posh, although I think hers is a boy. Makes me cackle with glee every time.
>I think that Abelard is a medieval name….I find it very strange to bring back dead names like that.I submit “Geoffroy” as an original but eyebrow-raising name. Never heard it in my whole life, until I met a small baby called that.It’s the french version of Geoffrey, I guess, but it’s pronounced “Jo-fraw”….
>I’m a teacher, and a mom, so I make fun of names DAILY!! hee hee, don’t tell, it’s my guilty pleasure! Obatunde (sounds like Ohbah-TUNE-day). No, he’s not another nationality or religion.Just a weird name. OH, and his brothers names are normal..Brandon, Jason, etc. Guess they just ate some “happy brownies” when they decided on this one???
>While I dont have any great names to share, I do HATE HATE HATE cre8tif spellings. Emmaleigh for Emily as an example.I have gotten my fair share of flack for my son’s name, which is Xander (like Alexander, but just Xander). My husband picked it and I liked it, but wasnt sold. Then he was born and tipped the scales at 10 pounds 10 ounces. Our last name begins with an “L” so my son’s initials were XL. Perfect. 🙂
>Ok, so I am going to have to do this anonymously, because I don’t want the mother to know I wrote this– just in case. She named her children Peytyn, Ryan, Masyn, and Elysyn– all GIRLS! And her boy? Landyn.
>There is a child in my son’s class named Candy. It’s bad enough that it’s almost a guarantee she’ll be a stripper, but the kicker is her last name… Cane.Yes, the girl’s name is Candy Cane. Her parents should be beaten.
>A co-worker of mine seems to enjoy making a play on names based on his family names. Currently he has 2 children named Angelynn and Oscarin. I work with several Asian offices and have found they typically take American names/words. The combination with their last names can make for some interesting encounters. Most recently:Angus ManCherry WongBambiMilkIceWhen I ask how they arrived at the name I find the answer is usually based on a favorite thing/food or character.
>One friend is a teacher, and her favorite name to date is Pajama. Yes, just like what you wear to sleep in. But its pronounced Pah-jam-ah. And her parents really did get the name out of a catalog.Another friend knew a couple that named their kid something so odd, that the father couldn’t remember how to say it without seeing it written. I truly wish she would’ve written it down, because you know if would’ve been awesome.
>The craziest name I’ve ever come across was overheard at park: Courvoisier. Yes, like the liquor. Oy. And creative names like those mentioned above should be outlawed. It’s like it’s a race to the bottom of who can spell their kid’s name the strangest. And who loses? The kid who has to use that ridiculous name on their resume later in life!
>I had a kid in daycare named “Flave”. Like Flava. Only that was his given name. (It, too was a family name – in fact, he was Flave, Jr.)Also, I know a lady through work who goes by “Shar’n”.
>I have four entries: Twins, “Hero and Holliday”, “Rainbow Sunshine Gulch” (yes, it’s true), and “Pepsi Cola”. I’m cringing!
>There are some really bad names listed here in the comments but sorry yall! I’m gonna win!! ‘Cause I know a kid named, (drumroll please!):Placenta!Seriously. I know.Can you imagine when she grows up and is a teenager and some boy is kissing her? Making out with Placenta?!?!?! Just. Gross.
>Wow. It is going to be really tough to narrow this list down!One note- If you use “Anonymous” for your comment, please leave an e-mail address/website or send your e-mail identity to suburban.turmoil@yahoo.com so that I can consider you as a finalist. If I have no way of contacting you, I can’t list you as a finalist, much as I’d like to!
>Also, I can’t confirm this, but I’ve heard at least one story of an extremely back ass country woman naming her daughter Vagina.
>I’m submitting Aonesty. Pronounced Honesty, but spelled with that stupid A. Not only does she have a stupid name, she was mean and bossy too and made my daughter’s year in K5 complete Hell.
>Good Lord, some of those names….I have no words right now. They’re just horrible. I shit you not, I went to school with a girl named BettyAnn-Louie, which seperately, those names aren’t necessarily weird but certainly not the most attractive names. However, together, mashed up like that, just not right. I bet BettyAnn-Louie is in therapy as we speak.
>I substitute teach and one of the girls in my class for a while was TamBra’Le. But pronounced Shante.
>I have a cousin named Dick Wacker (no kidding, leagal name!). Also, my hubby graduated with a girl named AtoZ, as in A to Z! How about Mazin and Talon for little boys, kinda sounds a little weird. And then there’s the little boy named Justin Case! Yep, some doozies up here!
>The best one that I ever heard was “Octavius.”Yep.And my husband didn’t go for my suggestion of “Caesar Agustus” or “Robes Pierre” (no, we’re not Greek or French)….Wonder why…
>Buffany. The mom must have been torn between Buffy and Tiffany and ended up with a compromise.That or she just smoked a lot of crack when naming her child. 😉
>My friend’s mom was a teacher, and had twins in her class named Orangejello and Lemonjello. Seriously, after jello…
>My daughter has a girl named Lee Chapman in her class (this is her first name!) Double names seem to be the rage here (in the south) and they drive me crazy! Others: Kaitlyn Madison (this is her first name!) Anne Archer (all her first name!)
>A friend of mine is a labor and delivery nurse, and told me that one mom had a hard time finding a name for her baby girl. She came back a week later and proudly told the nurses the name: Imunique (pronounced I’m Unique). Take it from one with a “kreative” name, don’t do it to your kids. The “i” is silent in my name, and other serving as a name for my blog, it’s been a royal pain from the time I started school. People either mispronounce or misspell it all the time. Builds character, though. I’ve got lots. Can I get a prize for that?
>JonBenét is a pretentious but contrived name from pretty fucked-up parents…don’t you think?Ramsey is also a repugnant name.A parent’s dysfunctionality is directly proportional to their children’s names deemed to be unusual.You wanna have fun? Go examine all the NBA and NFL rosters.
>*Tripp *TamalpaisBut please, I don’t really want to win because I’d feel terrible if my friends knew I put their son’s name up for worst name ever. 🙂
>Enfamil. My friend, a pediatrician, treated this little girl, whose mom saw the word on a box near her hospital bed and thought it was pretty.
>My husband and I worked with a girl named Sierra. That was short for “Strawberry Shortcake”. Gag. I also knew a girl (same job) whose name was “Peaches”. Hubs always jokes that he is going to name our next son “Gaylord”. Names of little children I know? —Elspeth (try saying that without sounding like you have a lisp)—Britton (she was named after her father)—Shelby—McIverOh, and I also know someone named Jandy. Her parents are Randy and Jean and so they just combined their names to come up with Jandy.
>This has long been a peeve of mine, the weird kid names. Here are my entries: worked with a woman who named her daughter Riley – but if that isn’t bad enough, she spelled it Rylee. Ugh. Also, how about a girl named Britain? Nope, her parents are not from Britain……..
>Oh, oh, and I almost forget the girl at my daughter’s daycare – Braewyn. Apparently her mom watched Lord of the Rings way too many times……..
>most mooovie stars name their kids some pretty outlandish stuff: Suri, Apple, etc.My favorite has got to be Nicholas Cage’s kid, Kal-El. Can anyone say Superman Fetish Nick? Weirdo…poor kid.The unique names are interesting (here are a few from our school)….Damontavious, Ja’Brice, Miyteshia, Nicarious (these are black and white kids)My personal weird name from our school is Bayne
>I had a student two years ago named “jeremiah”…it was spelled “germya.” (The mom was 15 and homeless when she had him, and presumably her low level of education was to blame instead of trying to be unique)Speaking of which, I’ve also had a Kellr (no, I’m not missing the second “e”), a Precious, a Unique, and a Diamond
>Female…. I swear!! Alekzander. Everytime I hear that child’s name I want to say “bless you”
>I was at the park and I heard a women call,”Come here Gigi and Fifi!” I thought she was calling her dogs. Oh no– it was her twin daughters. Since my daughter was the same age, I struck up a conversation with her and found out the girls’ full names were Giselle and Fiona. To make the story even better (or worse) the mom’s name was Melissa or…. Mimi for short!!
>Lets see… I knew twins Mia & Mya, very nice names until you know thier last name… HO! And I knew a Kenny Kenney and I went to school with a Richard Head (what’s the nickname for Richard???) And then my daughters friend’s name… Tuanja (Too-Wanna)… Thats all for now!
>No contribution, other than a funny story. Before my son was born I gave him a working title because I didn’t want opinions from anyone on the real name I’d chosen. One of the nurses in my OB’s office thought I was seriously going to call him Robespierre.
>Try this one for size, overheard in a birth registration office in Bristol, UK. Or should I say ‘Brizzle’ as the locals pronounce it.Armaandale.This is not what the hapless mother meant to call her daughter. She meant to call her Amanda. But her thick Brizzle accent, which also results in the tendancy to add ‘al’ onto words (think: specifical, hilarial, etc – it can be a fun game when you get into it), meant her daughter was saddled with that name for the rest of her life.
>I read of someone naming their girl Vulva- because they thout it was pretty. And my aunt went to school with a girl named “Sweet” Pickins. Yes, SWeet is the forst name and Pikins her last. I wonder if she was a stripper, too?The worst- a woman I know who is a teacher had a kid names “Shithead” Ok, not prounced SHIT-head though, it was Shot-heed.But still, come one!!!!!The kid will wear a letterman jacket one day, or a girl will like him and scrall “I love Shithead” on her notebook….
>my best friends were going to name their daughter…Jenna Jade.which really, is just asking to be up in lights…Thankfully, they decided against it.
>One of my friends, a teacher, had a kid in her class named “Blue.”Every time she talked about him, I envisioned an aging, beloved bloodhound on the trail of an escaped prison inmate.
>The worst child name I ever came across is…British…Is that a name? No! I wish I could remember the last name, British ______. Stupid name!
>A boy in my brother’s Boy Scout troop was named Bacardi. And I went to high school with a girl named Snow White Smelzer. She went by Snowy Smelzer.
>Dumb names bug me too! But what irks me most is first names that REALLY clash with the last name, ie, Tanner Swanner (yes two different A sounds!) and if your last name is a noun, don’t give your child a first name that is an adjective… how about Brown Jewel?
>I have a neighbor that named her child “Truly Sweet”. The little girl has been taught to introduce herself by saying “I’m Truly Sweet, truly, I am.” . It kills me!
>My mother went to school in the ’70s with a gal, first name Ima, last name Darling … Ima Darling.
>Oh boy….I knew a Sunshine Rainbow (last name Bridge)I worked with a woman whose husband, FIL AND BIL were all Michael Michael.My neighbors’ sons are both “thirds” in their family, so one is Ty, the other is Tre…Had another neighbor (female) named Shawnee…her son was named Zahveeay…like Xavier, but instead of making people TRY to say it right, she phoentically spelled it.Oh, but here’s the kicker: my friends three daughters: Meadow, Sienna, and Aria.
>My husband is a cop and was telling me about a “client” he had whose kids names were Sheday and Shemorrow (prounounced like Today & Tomorrow). Made me giggle.
>My aunt was/is a kindergarten teacher in Philadelphia.She has had both a feh-mahl-ee (yes, spelled “Female”) and a pa-jah-mah (yes, spelled Pajama).
>I’m not making this up – I can scan her birthday invitation if you’d like. There’s a girl in my son’s pre-school class who’s name is:Weathyrann It’s prounounced Weather-Ann. I’m afraid to ask what her middle name is.
>My husband is a teacher and has a student named Hollywood. We have a very plain name, so I did give my kids names that are no plain. And unfortunately I found them both in the comments…
>I come from Texas….where you can find some great names.Nikki Sixx (last name Sanchez!) For a girl…and they call her Sixx!Went to school with a boy named Blue who went on to have a daughter and named her Magenta!!And then a rival school’s popular and winning basketball coach who named his son Gym!
>My wife almost divorced me because I kept insisting our son’s name be Shiny.
>While we’re talking about silly names, my mom went to college with a girl named Ida Lou Pigg. Guess who she married? Skip Bacon. No lie.She also knew someone named Lulu Bobo from Ty Ty, Georgia. Again, no lie.
>I went to junior high with a girl named Winter Wheat Marquez. When my husband was in the Marine Corp he worked with a girl who named her daughter Mi Amor, and called her Mia.
>Oh frick. I HATE kree8tyve spellings. It doesn’t matter how you spell it, if you name your daughter Emily or Emmaleigh, she’s still going to need to use her last initial because that is a really popular name. OK, rant over.I work in a hospital, and used to take care of the peds population. Needless to say, I saw some ummmm INTERESTING names in my time there. The absolutely worst name I personally saw was Nevaeh Angel Leah. “It’s heaven spelled backwards! And she’s so angelic so we used that for her middle names!” Ew, gag me.I didn’t personally see this one, but one of the OB’s told me one of their patients named their son Espn. Yep, like the sports network. I laughed for the rest of the night about that, only because I’d have cried and scared the kids if I didn’t.
>I’ll go anonymous also. A family member of mine is named Joey, but his friends gave him the nickname Jersey. So when his girlfriend had a baby girl, she named her Joey, then she had a boy and named him…you guessed it Jersey. Can you say WHIPPED?
>My cousins have come up with the worst names for their daughters. One is Kenedy. Yes, only one ‘n’But the prize goes to my cousin’s daughter named Winchester. It is supposed to be extremely popular in the western US, but come off it. They named their daughter after a GUN! Her nickname is Chessy which I’m sure will be changed to Chesty by the mean kids at school in a few more years.
>I’m a teacher, so I’ve seen a lot, but the worst has to be Iamunique. I was also really annoyed by Cameryn, but it’s not even close to Iamunique.
>I worked with a woman named Cindy Rella (her entire first name). When people would call her Cindy, she’d correct them and ask that they call her Cindy Rella.
>C’mon, you haven’t even mentioned Dick Trickle yet??I’ve seen firsthand a girl named Urethra and many, many babies named Sentara who were born at… you guessed it, Sentara Health Care Hospitals! (What would have happened if they had been delivered at a plain old “General” hospital or worse, Kaiser Permanente??)
>We have a 5 yr. old boy in the neighborhood–Thurston–enough said.
>I don’t remember how I found this one, but: Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K. I am not making this up, check the link:http://www.newbabynews.net/hospitals/stf33/public/stf33birthannouncement.pl?babyID=h33-440Not sure what he goes by; Icy, maybe? Eight? Or just K?
>Dallas, Denver, and Dover.Oh, and now I hear there’s an Austin.”Because? That’s where we CONCEIVED them!” Said in a shuffling, Aw Shucks sort of way.
>Khrystyehansenair@charter.net
>oh! and a girl at Smith’s school is named Bleu Bell….hansenair@charter.net
>Okay this is NZ so maybe people are even weirder here but when I was in hospital having the Young Man the mother in the room next to me had named her child —-wait for it Nitrous oxide – yip after the good old laughing gas!!! Maybe they would call him Oxy for short??
>I have 3 entry’s and they are are people I knew!1. Ima Hoag (I’m a hog and yes, that’s how the last name was pronounced)2. Fuk Yu (foreign exchange student, later changed his first name to Winston–Winston Yu)3. Dusty RhodesSometimes you just have to wonder what parents are thinking!
>Wow! What are people thinking! I’ve heard some of these before and I too hate Kre8tive spelling.Anyway, I went to school with a girl that was 2 years younger. Her name….Star Gazer (first and last name)Ugh!
>there is a lady (blogger actually) that has named all of her kids after cities: brooklyn, clayton, lexington. no joke!i get so annoyed with cutsy names with a -lee sound on the end (much like the -gen): brylee, kiley, daylee, jaylee, keelie, kinzee, …yuck!however, the absolute worst: alexus mercedes. yup—it’s real.
>(small voice) I actually like the name Kennedy for a girl (ducks)I went to school with Precious and Princess. (Twins)And my boyfriend’s stepmom was named Bernie Burney.
>Let’s see…A family friend named her daughter Neveah (Heaven spelled backwards). Another family I know named their daughter Crystal Chanda (last name Lear). One other family has a cute little girl named Brooke (last name Waters). There was a child in my daughter’s class last year named Papa K, and his sister was Mama T. A very cute, very trendy Mom in our neighborhood as a Tallulah and Phineous.
>Well, some of these names are cazy, but Meghan is a legit name.Also, please remember that some names may not mean anything in English but they are good names in other languages:-Daryan-Keyan-Mitra-Lailee-Roya-Roshanne-ShayanneI like diversity.
>McCarley. Blech.
>Ok, I’m usually a lurker here, but I had to get in on this one! In my sons first grade class there is a little man with the unfortunate name of Wayman 🙁 And in my middle daughteers 3rd grade class there is a boy with the odd name Warath, my oldest daughter in fifth grade has a boy in her class named Paris. Paris? Ugh…. p.s. no offense to anyone who has used these names, they are just odd to me… carry on
>My aunt was a lifeguard in Halifax, PA many years ago, and claimed a boy came to her pool whose legal name was Butterball.
>I work with a man whose child was born on Super Bowl Sunday…they were excited when the baby was born an hour or so before kick-off so they didn’t have to miss any of the game. The baby’s name? Justin Tyme. No lie.
>I know three girls named Chablis, Daiquiri, and Tequila. I also know two sisters names Princess and Precious. Also three small children named Zaquante, Deja (middle name Vu) and my favorite…..Kitchenetta
>I did someone’s hair in beauty school named Chandelier.My sister had a friend in high school named La’Quebia. (Pronounced La kweebia)Had a friend who named her daughter Heaven Lee. (gag)But the best one ever was the baby in the incubator next to my son in the NICU. Her FIRST name was “A Virtuous Woman Is A Crown”. She also had an entire sentence for a middle name. They were calling her Avirtuous for short. She had a sister named Wisdom is a blah blah blah something or other. They called her Wisdom for short. Apparently her mother named her children a phrase or saying that she had heard on the day they were delivered. How do you even fit that on a birth certificate?
>I work in a heavy Indian population as a teacher. One kid’s name we had last year was Ahkshot. It was all I could do not to call him “Ah-Shit”
>Wierdest name ever… Fafa. It was the name of a girl I went to school with. Wanna guess what her little sister’s name was?Esinu.Yup. Then there was the little girl my son was friends with:Fahrenheit.And yup, they named her that cuz it was really really hot outside when they found out they were preggers with her.
>Attison Klitgaard. Poor girl…as if the last name hasn’t sworn her to chastity. They call her “Atti”. Just sad peeps!
>OH man I could go on and on with this subject!There are definitely some crazy names floating around my kid’s preschool – In my son’s class we have KAYDEN – a boy and KAYDENCE – a girl. Or how ’bout Emerson – for a girl! ickBut my ultimate fave is this – a lil girl named NEVAEH (NA-vay-UH) oh yes that is HEAVEN spelled backwards!
>I forgot two more:My friend Richard Wiser’s brother’s name is Bud Wiser.And a girl my husband went to school with’s name was April May June. (first, middle, last respectively)Finally down here in TX there is an old governor, last name Hogg who named his daughters Ima & Ura Hogg.Last but not least I knew a girl named Crystal Shanda Leer in HS.
>Well heck Lindsay, you stole mine. But I am going to submit it anyway. My sister is a teacher, and a teacher friend of hers had a student named Vagina, with a tilde over the n. You know, so it isn’t so WEIRD!It was supposedly pronounced Vag- i – nay, sort of rhyming with matinee.
>I just keep remembering crazy names of kids I know…My girlfriend who’s a meteorologist here in Dallas named her daugter.Genevieve…BUT pronounces it”John-Vee-Ev”…but calls her Vie VieShe’s a precious little girl though
>OMG I HAD to come back and add this one!!!!ALLYSSUMHow crazy is that!?!?!
>I have spent the last two decades working with kids in the social services system and juvenile hall…so, kinda got a lot of winners…not to mention other kids that I know (but I wont mention them, because I have a link to your blog on my blog, and they may wander over and see me dissing their name….)My own kids are: Andrew, Christine and Elise….Im pretty traditional.The craziest names Ive heard:Ekko (for a girl, when she was born her screams could be heard throughout the hospital corridor, so her unable-to-spell mom named her, Ekko)Hanky Panky (legal name! for a boy.)I could go on all day, really.
>darn! someone already got mine…i used to work at a health dept. and the worst one i came across was shithead, pronounced sha-THeed, naturally. who does this to their child?my sixth grade teacher’s name was bill dollar. i also went to school with a boy named justin case. and worked with a girl named tree. sad!that d.g. story is messed up! i can’t believe anyone would do that.p.s. one of the comments says “TamBra’Le pronounced Shante” wtf is that? please tell me that’s a joke!
>I’m just wondering…do you worry what “Manhattyn’s” mommy will think if she reads this blog? Or what about the babysitter poacher? Must make for some potentially awkward moments?
>Haileeye & Makynzyie are sisters who go to my miece’s daycare. I’m not sure if their mother is a moron or just thought it would be cute.It’s Hailey and Mackenzie in case you were confused. 🙂
>Tavender-A little girl. They call her Tavvy for short.
>Ok, I have one more. I know a woman whose son is named Jon Paul, Jr. Then when her second one wasn’t a girl, she named him Jon Carlo. JP and JC is what they call them.
>Semaj(James)Memory Amoniya- when I first saw the name I logically pronounced it the same as the common household cleaner- I was quickly corrected by the child-short o sound, but why oh why would you do this to a child!
>I grew up with a guy named Abelard. I think he was named after a relative who had died young or something like that.Anyway, the worst names I ever came across were in the Trout family. With a last name like Trout, it’s really hard to do much right. But to top it off, they named their three children Rainbow, Brown, and River.Yes, the kids’ names were Rainbow Trout, Brown Trout, and River Trout. Isn’t that horrible?! Who does that to their child?!Although, just as bad, I knew someone named Candy who took her husband’s last name: Bahr. So her name was Candy Bahr. Personally, I’d have kept my maiden name if I were her. There are some names that just aren’t worth it.I mean, there are some bad names out there. Names like Madysynnye (another kid I grew up with) and Thursul (that’s a girl). But the Trout family, in my mind, has them all whipped just for being stupid.
>Most annoying kid’s name I’ve heard – Frobisher. Good grief! That is going to be one pedantic twerp of a kid. The parents may as well send him to school in an ascot.This post reminds me of a hilarious SNL skit starring none other than Nic Cage (prior to the birth of his son – Kal-El). His character is tormented by his name – “Asswipe Johnson”. He has to keep reminding people it is pronounced “Azz-wee-pay”.
>Manhattyn? Urrrgh. I just threw up a little in my mouth. I’m a teacher, I’ve taught a Paradise, a Precious, a Diamond (boy), and too many other stupid names to mention. I also went to school with a Mike Hunt. Heh. Worst name I heard this year though was a woman working at the hardware store said her granddaughter’s name was Jersey. (I only heard it out loud but I’m sure they spell it Jërs’hyyë or something else retarded like that. But come on, Jersey? Jersey cow? Jersey Milk chocolate bar? New Jersey?She probably has a sister named Brooklyn. I hate that name too. But yeah, gotta give it to Placenta, that is THE worst.
>Our family is rife with silly names, though D.G. definitely takes the cake.Sis-in-law’s daughter is Codi Mae. Ack!Then there’s the other sis-in-law who named her daughter Gracelynn, Gracie for short.And the newest addition to the family (hubby’s cousin’s daughter) is Gyllian Maree (pronounced Jillian Marie). Honorsothbaseball.spaces.live.com
>Ohhh, I forgot the kid we met at the lake during the summer. Aristotle. It’s okay to be pretentious if you’re rich (think Onassis), but some poor kid with saggy britches and a runny nose?Honor
>I, too, am a teacher, and have loads of crazy-ass names. But the best one ever goes to “Ab-sa-dee”, spelled ABCD. The mother must have been illiterate.
>a close family member named her daughter after the Police song Roxanne. They even proudly tell people that their daughter is named after the song. We’re all like you do KNOW what that song is about RIGHT. Her middle name was going to be Jade. Sounds like a stripper to me. I think they went with Amaya. sigh
>I am just thrilled that the name we picked for our baby on the way is not on the list.I’m kind of over Madison. There are two girls in the kindergarten/1st grade age on our block that are both named Madison. Seem like a strange name to get over popular.
>Okay -Barclay — she was a cute little blonde girl (I swear)Clararessa — “Clarissa” — the dad couldn’t spell (I swear)
>A little girl named Usnavy,after the name of a ship her immigrant parents saw shortly before she was born.The ship? From the U.S. Navy.
>I went to school with Jetaime Mabelle — Je T’aime, ma belle!
>I love the topic of names! My cousin married a girl named Willamina and her maiden name was Salmon. Everyone called her “Willie Salmon” growing up.My girls have the following classmates:TiayanaValerinaAngelinaRaelen (Ray Lynn)And countless Ashlee’s, Katlyn’s, Autumn’s, Delaney’s etc.Our last name (Spear) was a challenge when we were naming our children. Can you imagine the fun we had teasing our family. Some of our favorites were:William ShakeDill PickleHunterDon’t worry. We ended up with perfectly normal names that both spelled traditionally.
>Ummmmmm…I never comment here…but I had to comment on this post. ;-)I worked in Child Support Enforcement for the State of Alabama for 12 years. I’ve seen just about every weird name you can think of…so I probably have an unfair advantage.Still….I had to share some of my favorites:*Sedan Contagious (a boy….can’t remember his last name)*Princess K and Princess T (sisters…but not twins)*Chrysanteum Flucker*Mercedes, Lexus and Infiniti (3 siblings)I could go on and on…but you get the idea…..and I PROMISE you…none of them are made up! LOL
>Lest anyone here get offended, please know that both Punky’s nickname and her full name have shown up in the comments. I can dish it out and I can take it. 🙂
>My mom knew a guy named Herb Erb. My aunt is a teacher and had two students, sisters, named Liberty and Independence. She said that as soon as she heard those names she knew the mom was going to be a piece of work – and she was. Let’s just say the mom was very defensive of her daughters’ liberty and independence, and not too concerned about them being polite, respectful of others, or doing their work.
>Felony. I’m not sure how the poor little boy spelled it. He was hanging out with the neighbor’s 10 year old and I chatted with them for a bit. It broke my heart, really.
>This is horrible. I came here thinking I’d have some unique names even if they aren’t the worst. I never expected to see someone else list them. I’m hoping Cheyenne and Jessica live near the Chicago area or that means that more than one set of parents saddled their kids with the names Oranejello (Or-an-gelo) and Lemonjello (le-mon-gelo) and Female (rhymes with Emily).
>A coworker of mine took her 2 year old to a play date with a few other kids. There was a 3 year old little boy there named…..Jihad.I’d take Rainbow Sunshine or any of those peaceful names any day over that one!
>My brother’s girlfriend has a sister named “Caress”. Who can look at a tiny baby and think “Caress?” I’ve also know a “Honey” and a “Coco” –sisters.
>I used to work as a nurse. One day while filling in on the pediatric ward I had to look after a little baby girl named Heavenly Angel. Neither myself nor my coworkers could bring ourselves to call her that. We just called her “Sweetie” or “Punkin” or any other pet name. That was 8 years ago, so give it at least another 10 years and you may see her on that shelf at the video store that is behind a curtain.I also used to work with a guy named Noah Carpenter.
>Ok, one more I just remembered. A man at church’s name is Woody Wood. I’m not lying…
>I subbed at a school and had a kindergartener named Yssys (ice-is).
>A boy I taught his name was pronouced sheehed. But spelled ShitHead!!! Yeah, made for great cubby labels.Felicia
>My kids are Arianna Elizabeth and Jack Langley (Well, it’s actually John, but we call him Jack…family name.)So, they’re fairly traditional…I went to school with a Seasons Sparks, and an Astara Mink. Yes, their parents were hippies….I was born in the early 70’s, after all.Some of these names in the comments, tho….WHOOO boy.
>My daughter’s pre-school teacher has a niece named “Pair’us” (pronounced Paris) and a nephew named “Our’monie” (pronounced Our Money).One woman in the hospital bed next to mine named her daughter “Princess”. The next woman gave her son the middle name “Respect”.
>The Vagina myth is true – a friend of mine met the elderly lady named Vagina while she was a nurse at Metro General.I went to school with a girl named Candy Barrs.I also went to school with a girl named Bettina (first name) Meninna (last name).The best story? From a comedy act that said women on pain meds during labor should not be allowed to name children. . . “Fahrvergnugen – that’s a pretty name.”
>My daughter and I once saw 2 brothers named Ranger and Maverick. Apparently one parent or the other never outgrew his/her cowboy stage.In the 70s I used to babysit two small brothers named Zach and Zeb, (short for Zebediah), neither of which was a common name back then. Zeb’s middle name was—I’m serious here–Oak Tree. Zack’s was Maple Leaf. Well….it WAS the 70s, after all. lol!
>I shit you not…Crystal Shanda Leer.
>My sister just got her ears pierced by a girl named Sparkle. Who, oddly enough, did not look like a stripper.My son had a girl in his toddler room at daycare named Sylence (yes, pronounced silence). And I knew a woman who named her daughter Myracal (miracle). A girl in his 4-year-old class was named Precious. My sister worked for a juvenile group home that at one time had a girl there named Peaches Love (last name). Some parents are downright cruel.
>placenta. wow. thats a winner.I named my children Cash & Hayden and my favorite response when people ask their names is ” oh, I really like hayden” thanks. and a man in a a store yesterday asked me why I didn’t name them Cash & Money. And when they came home from the hospital? Anyone over 50 called them Cash & Carry.
>oh yeah, and even though I did name my son HaydenI still can’t stomach Jaden or Caden.
>There is this girl that went to the school I am attending. She worked her way up the ranks as a TV meteorologist, finally making it to a big-name station. I always knew part of the equation of the female TV meteorologist was looks (i.e. C-cup minimum). The other part is the name. Preferably, it has a weather term in it. Otherwise, it must sound like a stripper. Anyway, this girl’s name–Ginger Zee. Lord. I took my extraordinarily ordinary moniker and flat chest to the research side of the field. Although, if my dad hadn’t married a woman with sense, I’d be Porsche, standing there with my perky implants pointing at a bluescreen with happy face suns.
>Do these parents realize when they use these horrid KREEAYTYV spellings with their poor children’s names, that they’re dooming them to a life of constantly having to SPELL their name for everyone they meet? Not to mention, how can you take an adult woman seriously whose name is Bryttynee or McKynzee?? UGH.Parents like this seem to think their kids are fashion accessories or Cabbage Patch dolls who will remain cute little babies forever and never actually figure out how stupid their own names are. Imagine it…”Mama, why’s my name so dumb?” What do you tell your kid THEN, smarty pants? “Well I thought it would be so cool and unique to name you that, and now you’re stuck with it the rest of your life. Now run along or you’ll be late to therapy…”I am always SO relieved when I ask a mom what her kid’s name is and she says “Michael” or “Caroline”. It tells me the parents are actually sane.
>Parents of my children’s schoolmates are named Rocky Mountain and Smoky Mountain and I hear there is a third brother that has a corresponding mountain name.ANother parent is named Stormy Sky.All really nice people, but ???????????????????
>There are a LOT of replies ahead of me and I didn’t read them all, so I apologize if this has already been posted. Baby P.A.R.A.D.O.X.A.L was born a few weeks ago. Ready for what all that stands for?Pandora Astraea Radagast Annextiomarus Dalía Ondine Xeziriq Amethyst LL being their last name.Don’t believe me? Go here: http://paradoxal.livejournal.com/She is a precious little baby and her parents seem totally head over heels about her, but that name! Man!
>This is too much fun! How are you ever going to pick a winner?I forgot to mention that my friend just named her baby RUBY TUESDAY – after the song, not the restaurant hahahaha
>A girl I work with… her first name is Lisastarchild… all one word.
>OMG, I used to work in Hippie-town, at one restaurant alone, I worked with girls whose actual given names were-FantasiaRainbowArwenDejaStormValleyI think the worst was my daughters friends-SerenityCheery (that’s not a typo)SpringHaley Kai (you had to say both names or her mother would have a fit.)
>LOL.Im totally gonna pee my pants….I went to check out BABY PARADOXAL (someone posted the link)…. she goes by “pandora”..and her sisters are rain and some other wack job name like that….her blog has pictures, and Ill just put it out there now, that her dad looks like a complete nutjob, and her poor great-grandpa looks almost humiliated being in the picture.
>A little girl named Pepper.And a girl born the same day as me, in the same hospital: LeTrina. Like a toilet.My husband has run into some great ones at work: a girl named Saline, a man named Anal Dickshit, and two Asian men who worked side by side as partners: Fuk and Yu.Sadly, I am not making this up.
>Ampersand. & I’m not even kidding. I heard a women yell this to a kid at WAL-MART. .. as in “Apersand, git yo ass over hur…” When questioned about her daughter’s lovely name, she admitted she didn’t know what it meant, but heard it once and thought it was pretty.
>I was a teacher for 10 years and the strangest name I ever had on a roster was…wait for it: Dutchieboy Baggerly. I swear on all that is holy that it was his given name Dutchieboy. What the heck were they thinking. Though thinking back my brother had girlfriends named Destinee and Harmony. I know I had a few other doozies through the years but I’m just drawing a blank right now…Hendrix (after Jimi of course), I had twin sisters in class: Sierra and Nevada. A boy name Cutter…hopefully not like Edward Scissorhands. Another student named Bear. Last one I promise is my own daughter…she is adopted…her birth name was Emmillie Rayne. We changed it to just plain Emily and dropped the Rayne…what a monster to learn how to spell!
>My other favorite…a Hallmark rep I worked with was named Truly Gold. She got engaged to a man with the last name Boring (I swear it’s a true story). Her married name was Truly Boring!!!
>I forgot to mention this one. My vice principal in elementary school was named Happy Boozer. She was a very professional looking woman. It wasn’t her birth name though, she married a man with the last name Boozer. I don’t know why she didn’t keep her maiden name.
>I live in a small town and there is a family here that is known for how they name their kids. I’ll call them “the Smiths.” Well, there’s Elvis Presley Smith, Wayne Newton Smith, Dolly Parton Smith, Loretta Lynn Smith, but my favorite is Evel Knevel Smith.However, I have a friend who is a kindergarten teacher and she asked all the children to go around the room and state their names the first day of school. One little girl’s name sounded like “Shitash” with the accent on the “ash.” When she looked at the registration list, the girl’s name was spelled “Shitass.” Seriously, she showed it to me. Now, were those parents on crack or what?
>Have fun:- Stella Solaris (first name) is the daughter of my sister in laws´ friends whose last name i can´t remember.- Klothilde went to school with me. The first part “Klo” means toilet.- The sons of a german actor are called Jimi Blue and Wilson Gonzales. Their last name is Ochsenknecht.
>I once worked with a girl who was named after her father, Leroy. Her name? Yorela. Her nickname was Precious. I never could decide which was worse. I also know a very cute little baby boy who’s name is Rance Cavin. Poor Kid.
>I only blogged about something similar today… being snubbed in the playground by the ferals. THE FERALS!!!And their kids names? Shakira, Shapelle, Tiphanee, Paris and Astralieb….Blech.I went to school with a guy named Twat. Another guy was called Fook. AND Fook and Twat hung out together, until Fook insisted we all call him Brian…..My daughters best friends boyfriend’s name is Gaetano. And said friend is a boy…..My 60 year old fathers arty friend is Pebble River…I swear on a stack of bibles this is true!!!!Now remember I am in a rural town in Australia where everyone seems to be called Peter and Sharon!
>Here’s a twist… how about those awful nicknames they give kids that stick?I kid you not–I have nephews that are called PeeWee and Bug. How awful is that???My stepson is called Spud (by the outlaws) because he had a particular liking for mashed potatoes as a child.
>I went to school with a Harry Balls. 🙂
>OK, I’ve got a few for you:Daxon “Dax” for short (boy at my daughter’s school)Still Eaton (man I used to know)Peter Poo (works with my husband)Dick Yonkers (works with my husband)Bobbie-Lee pronounced “Bobba-Lee” (goes to my son’s school)and finally, Quintarius (boy) and Kenyatta (boy)
>I worked in an emergency room for several years as a registrar. One family named their twin sons. Peter and Richard. Thats not bad but they were calling Richard…”Dicky”. Anyone not make fun of these two names in school????
>I have just snorted an entire cup of coffee on my computer screen. As a teacher in a rather disadvantaged school I DREAD the first day of school when I have to call roll since I NEVER get the names right. For the lemon and orange jello folks, you forgot the apostropheeeessss….Le’Mon’Je’Llo and Or’Ange’Je’Llo. Also my favorite Shi’THe’Ad. Here’s a great one (remove the breaks) No’Na’Me because that is what was on the birth certificate. Most of the body parts also have the infamous break (Va’Geye’Nah, Uu’Vu’Lah, Vul’Vah) and GOD FORBID you spell them wrong in the school program!!!!! However, my favs were the 8th grade clarinet group that I had to call to lessons (they were all about 5’9″ or 5’10” and weighing in at about 175 lbs each). It just made my day when I had to sing out “Latisha, La’Way’Sha, Ka’Tee’Yah, Lo’Wanda, and Por’Shay’Zee (spelled Porsche by the way).
>My names can’t compete with the above, and I’m a teacher, so I’m going to stay anonymous. However, I have one classroom with a Ja’Vante and a Jo-Vante’, both pronounced exactly the same (though one just goes by Tay). In the same class, I have LaQuita and Chiquisha, who just go by Quita and Quisha, respectively. Not easy on the teacher trying to keep up with them all, that’s for sure.
>my two friends are freaks, their son’s name is Aninkin and thier daughter’s name is Aninika. (Can you tell what kind of freaks THEY are?) Their Brother and his wife named their daughter Coppola (yes, after Francis Ford but only the last goddamn name.) and their son has some french film producer’s name that no one can pronounce. They may as well have just named them all jerkoff, because I am SURE that is what the kids at school will call them.
>I went to high school with a “Liberty Ann Justis,” and have a 2nd cousin “Kenleigh” (comes out “Kinly”), but those can’t touch the responses above. Does it bother anyone else when parents give kids a first name they have no intention of calling them by (subbing a middle or nickname)? I always wonder why they didn’t just name them what they want to call them.
>When I was in highschool I knew this girl who was named Mandolyn..very weird if you ask me. a few weeks ago I overheard a lady in a store tell another lady she was going to name her son Deacon Brown…I wish you could have seen the other womans face as she struggled not to laugh!
>I knew a kid once named…Harry Toews (pronounced “Toes”)Also someone named Tina Bummer.I would change my name!
>I’m a teacher, too, and there are some of the ones I have seen:Godley VictorYalmilka (pronounced JAMEEKA)Thalyia (pronounced TALEEA)D’Andrea (younger sister) and D’Andre (older brother)DarlingAgustine (pronounced agustin)Peter Gay (a girl, and it is Peter Gay, not just Peter)I think that might be it for right now:)
>JUST found a new one today, while reading an article…a BOY name: MycolePronounced? MICHAEL….no…REALLY!!!!
>Oh, and found someone’s myspace with a kid to be born named Unique…and a daughter named Serenety…with THAT spelling.
>I lived across the street from a girl named: Bambette. If she wasn’t destined to be a stripper nobody was. Also my friend’s Mother is a teacher she had twin girls in her class named (hold on to your seat):Sharon and NotsharonSo very, very cruel.
>The worst names ever? Well, my next-door neighbors have twins named (honest-to-God) Buster and Bingo. Like in the school directory, on their birth certificates, everything. That family’s beagle is named David. And then of course there’s the Beach family at my daughter’s high school. .Three girls, all named Sandy, Shelley, and Sunny. And their last name is Beach. So…Sandy BeachSunny BeachShelley Beach (To be fair, Sandy’s real name is Alexandra, and Sunny’s real name is Susannah, so I guess I’m putting up the worst nickname-last name combo.) My youngest daughter’s name is Zella, which usually gets some eyebrow-raises in the playgroup crowd, but I love it. It was my great-grandmother’s middle name. My other kids are Blythe, Genevieve, Sophie, and Jack. A little better, I guess. gwen-robinson@hotmail.com
>Oh, I forgot another hippie-town name – Solstice. I think she’s 8 years old now and probably still breastfeeding.to anon-Gwen, above: my grandma’s name was Zella! I used to think it was a little weird and EVERYBODY else thinks it’s strange but I rather like it. I like “Z” names.
>Lindsay, Jane Bradley had a girl in her class named Linoleum Dinette!!hansenair@charter.net
>I know someone who had 7 kids. They named the 4 youngest Harmony Autumn (nickname Fawn)and the twin boys were Zeke and Zech short for Ezekiel and Zechariah.
>OK, it just feels futile to comment now, but I will. I work at a large hospital and saw this one come through the lab one day:DoesnotrespectauthorityAll first name. This was a few years ago, so I don’t recall the last name, but I remember it being pretty normal.
>I’ve heard…ChanceCanyonCinnamonLil James (Lil being the 1st name, James being the middle)Lakatitia
>Not necessarily “the” worst name but the worst set of names. My niece’s name is S hiasia (I put a space after first letter on purpose). Pronounced like “Shy Asia”. Her poor younger twin sisters are Shiyasia pronounced “Shy Yasia” and Shinasia “Shy Nasia”. Come on now throwing a “y” and an “n” in there doesn’t really change the name all that much.
>A friend of a friend named their daughter, Salem.My mother almost named me Shalom.
>I am a teacher so I have come across some awful names.TreasurePreciousVanityTaffySevenPeja (parents are big Kings fans)ClydeLeonardBunnyCoco (last name Colla, I swear)DagnyEbony and Raven (twins)Here are some names of kids I went to school with:Caprice, Vette and Chevelle (2 sisters and brother)Wendy LaneAmber AutumnSummer Meadowslisa4corey@yahoo.com
>I forgot one. Desire. Eeew.
>When I was in school someone made up a joke about three boys in our class. (These were their real names.)Q: What would you get if you mixed Rocky Hill, Patrick Mountain, and Joe Simmon (he was the class stoner)?A: Rocky Mountain High
>My friend has a son named Brown and a daughter Ryce. The names are actually their middle names and are the mothers family names but that is the names the kids go by.I kind of like the names myself but they are a little different especially when you put them together.
>I went to high school with twins girls named Tuesday and December. After reading all these comments it doesn’t seem so bad.
>Snow White, Jetta, Harry Johnson, Sunshine, Khakki (as in the pants),
>My sis has changed all 3 of her kids names officially on their birth certificates…funny stuff!
>I worked with a girl once whose name is Jones. She pronounced it Jo-nez…..we called her Jo!hansenair@charter.net
>I worked with social services for a long time. One name that has always stuck with me is “Dark Nocturnal Agony” That was the child’s first name. I have also seen a Jizzman, and Trasheena.
>My mother’s name is May, middle name June. She was named by her 13 year old sister, who named her after her two best friends. One of my dad’s friends was making fun of her, and she retorted back, “I wouldn’t say too much if I were you, Milton Millard Miller.So there’s 2 doozies for you.
>My friend had a kid in his class named Lemonjelo. Pronounced in a french way, with a soft J, LeMON-je-lo. In the same class was a girl named Charqueezi. Not kidding.
>Oh, and by the way, Obatunde is a Yoruba name, from a tribe in Nigeria, not just a weird name.
>I’m so relieved NOT to see my son’s name here. It’s a last name we used as a first name (a tradition in my husband’s family) and I’m not gonna say what it is.
>Coco Crisp. It is the name of a player for the Boston Red Sox. DH and I are watching the game and I said ” you have got to be kidding me?”. His response was it was not any worse than the guy on the Minn Twins who was named Martin Bradley. Hello one guy is named after a man who made millions upon millions of dollars developing board games. The other guy is named after a breakfast ceral. No contest as to which one is worse.
>OMG, I couldn’t resist commenting on this post. Have you been to this site? http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/index.htmlI don’t remember how I stumbled across it, but it’s good for hours of bad-name entertainment!I’ve heard some dumb names, names that parents should be ashamed of, and names that are harmless until you see what the initials spell (like mine- My legal initials are PMS. Yes, I’ve heard all the jokes.), but what irks me more than anything is a perfectly good name spelled in a STUPID manner just to be “different”. Case in point- my friend’s daughter is Machayelah.sigh.
>Qatar (pronounced Cutter, or like the Middle Eastern country, and no, they have no special relationship with the country–they just wanted to name the child Cutter but didn’t want it to be like the bug spray) and his sister Cenneigdigh (Kennedy), whom they call Cenny.Heaven help us, I’m not kidding.
>Oh, let’s see… I knew a:Donald DuckMerry Christmasand (really)Candy Cox.
>A friend of co-worker started dating a guy whose daughter was calledTruly Scrumptiousfrom the film Chitty Chitty Bang BangAnybody who’s a member of pregnancy and kiddie discussion forums (like BabyCenter) will have seen a million stupid names being proposed during the gestational period. And then they want your opinion on said stupid names. Like:Should I call my daughterCamrynCamironKamarinWhy did they NEVER include a none of the above option?And most of the time everyone is soo nice about it, except one time when somebody posted”Tell me what you really think of the name Lacey Lane”and so many people came back – Stripper Name.
>I live in Wales, UK and there aren’t that many unusual names, although I do know an Arwen. Then again though it’s a Welsh/Celtic name, I’m pretty sure.Although in the area I live, there’s a little girl called Precious. At first I though when the mum called her ‘Presh’ for short it was a pet name, like ‘love’ or ‘sweetheart’ – but it’s not. The kid’s called Precious.Yeah, it’s all very funny and cute when they’re 3 but when darling Precious is 20 and starts applying for jobs, it’s going to be a bit unfortunate. Do people not realise this?
>Back in the last century my first job was working in the Safety Dept of a GM auto manufacturer. My 3 favorite name on the medical slips we received were:Prince MoonLieutenant MajorDoctor Allan.Now these seem more normal than the current crop of bad baby names.Oh, Geoffrey is a real name and is the British and original spelling of the US Jeffrey. Just like Gillian has become Jillian in the US and gaol = jail.
>This name is so out there…the mom must have been on some seriously good drugs, or bad depending on how you look at it. There’s a girl who works at our local Wal-Mart who’s name is Shakeystair. I am so not kidding, I wish I was.
>I went to school with a guy who named his daughter Heaven LeighLast name – BeaverMy friend has a student in her kindergarten class named Viper
>The ones I’ve heard:adorable little girl named Ramsey – what an ugly name for a girlboy named Huxley – parents said he was named for the author “adolf huxley” – geez, if you are going to be pretentious, get the name right.paden – pronounced pay-den
>@Danielle – Don’t know about the Welsh, but “Arwen” is an elf in Lord of the Rings. 😉
>I have a Reagan and I’m not sure what’s wrong with that name. Enlighten me!!
>Hubby’s first daughter is named Brooke. Her mom has gone on to have 3 other children all named Dallas (b), Paris (g) and London (also g) Looked on Brookes my space the other week and she has her name written as Brooklyn. Must be jealous that she didn’t get a “city” name. (shrug)
>Did you read all the other names that I included with Reagan, Anonymous? Did you notice the funny little rhyme they all make together? No? The commenter who was offended by my inclusion of Meghan didn’t, either.When I was growing up, everyone’s names ended in -y or -ly. Now, everyone’s names seem to be ending in -gan. It’s funny.You probably haven’t read the other comments, but as I’ve said already, my daughter’s full name and the nickname we call her both appear in these comments, too. Fine by me.
>My daughter has a few different names in her class:Obi TiggyAnishSunni
>There’s a lady in town whose name is Cinnamon, and her daughter’s name is Pepsi.There are two boys in my daughter’s Kindergarten class named Brantlee and Huntlee. I went to school with a girl named Verity.
>I have a few I want to addAt my ex husbands workplace there is a woman namedSima BeaversA realtor around here named Merry Mount
>Good Lord, I have NO idea how you will pick the winner of this…but I can’t wait to see who you pick!I used to be an OB nurse, in an area that is FILLED with people who find it permissable to be cruel to their children by giving them bizarre names. A sampling:*Thunder, Lightening, Rain (all in the same family)*Heaven Lee Angel*Meconium (she said it was the most beautiful name she had ever heard…obviously she had NO idea what it meant)*Shithead (shi-thEEd)*Nevaeh (although that got used so many times that I think it probably doesn’t qualify as unique anymore*I also saw a Lemonjello and OrganejelloAnd one woman who didn’t name her baby at all, because the nurses gave her baby the most beautiful name…female (pronounced like tamale only with an f).Oh my. The things people do to their chilren…
>Cowboy twins I met years back. Cope and Hagen. Say it fast and it’s dad’s favorite chewing tobacco, Copenhagen. My brothers friend named son Kane so he could say he was “raising cane”Twin girls I just saw on the local hospital website: Melody and Harmony.My daughter is in school with three brothers: Maxim, Aticus and Silas.At an old job my bosses father in law was named Harry Sack. Another friend worked in admissions at a college and swore that a student was named Nosmoking. His mother did not speak english and saw the NO SMOKING sign in the hospital somewhere. We are pregnant with our third and sister-in-law is pusing hard for Elvis, Cyrus or Ceasar. I told her we’d think it over!Here is a fun one. Almost every major city has some members of the Zass family. Try that one out with any first name and you get the same funny result. Lindsey Zass.christy@bluedenimdesign.com
>To Jessica-It’s Milton Bradley, and he doesn’t play for the Twins. I believe he plays for the White Sox. or maybe the Indians. I thought he and Coco Crisp played for the same team, but i could be wrong. Those two names have always cracked me up,too.
>My daughter had a boy in her class who was from India. His name was Urin. HOnest. It was pronounced urine. That poor boy.When I was a kid it was a fad to name your kid these stupid names. So I went to school with:Candy KaneCandy Barr(2) Chris Cross(s)Marsha MelloandNick NamesMy son had a friend whose name was Barr Levi-Lev Ari. In my kid’s school there are some really horrid names. We’ve got:JaclynAlexandrineNeomieBoyeDelaiHouman (pronounced Human)Tucker BaconBarboraKodiaJerredMisaelJalaniChanelCieraWagner BritoShaquetaSheylaChezne (pronounced Ches-nee)GarlandShakaylaTaranehTaichiShanikaSeniaTownsend HippTreniqueLuckyAllegraJulvetoDivinneViniciusAsyaFedorZebaVennetiaSabree and Saleem (twins)PreetiQuanishaGarhettShaylynMeekaylahTanasiaDanyallTavone TyrikBorisI left out all the asian, russian, israeli, and other obviously non-English names.
>I grew up with twins who were named Crystal Spring and Clear Brook …Watters.No joke. We’re still friends on facebook
>I just followed the link for “PARADOXAL”O_oThose people are nucking futs.Poor baby
>I worked with a guy from Pakistan. His name was Asim Butt. Pronounced awesome butt. And he did know what it meant. Worked with another guy in China named Peter Pan.
>Well, I named my kid Emily, normal spelling, and so far she’s the only one in her class. But I guess even that name is bad now, judging by some of these comments.I’m okay with Brooklyn – whatever, as long as you don’t live there, that’s fine. If we had a boy my husband wanted to name him Nicholas John – after our dads – but then his initials would have been NJ and we live in New Jersey. Thank God we had a girl!Friends have Ryan and Casey – Ryan is the girl and Casey is the boy.But the worst name? Uneeda. She was a really nice girl I went to high school with and classmates used to tease her, saying “Uneeda new name.”
>Wickye….wick-ee. Little girl. Her brother is Macintosh.
>OH. But there’s also the girl from high school who named her child Heaven-Lee Star. Her brother? Jordan River.
>Okay, wait. Last one, I swear. I will take a picture of my daughter’s school directory if you choose this poor little Southern white boy, if you need proof.Bleak. Yes. Bleak. Okay, done commenting, but if I only get one entry. I TOTALLY pick Bleak.
>Suburban………I did read all the names listed with Reagan and I get that it’s funny. I wasn’t offended by her name being on the list I just couldn’t figure out why it was there. It’s not weird or unique in my opinion. Just wanted your “take” on it. I read here all the time and “it’s all good” LOLPeace!!!!
>One sound piece of advice: don’t give your kid a name that is also a sentence. I went to college with “Laura May Hatch.”Brenda
>Sundy MundyLiberty Ring Bellbleh.
>I have a friend who I have known forever (I hope she does not read this!!) who named her SON Taken. Yes, Taken as in the verb.
>I have a few more to add. My mom swears there was a Donald Duck in the incubator next to me when I was born. They were asain and my dad kept thinking he should make sure they knew what they were doing.Also my best friend is a NICU nurse. She said there was once a 16 year old who named her daughter Chlamydia. Except it was spelled Clamitia. Also a family whose son was named Jack Daniels. Older siblings were Alazea, Tequilla Gold and Southern Comfort and Jim Beam. I’m not kidding. I wish I were kidding. I believe the story was they were all named after the beverage the mom was drinking when they were conceived.
>I went to junior high with a girl named Candy Cane (I see that another commentor knows a girl by that name — amazing that there are two sets of parents out there who had that idea).My mom went to college with a girl named Dammit. I’m not kidding.On a side note, I’ve always thought that the words “Chlamydia” and “Syphilis” sound really pretty and would make nice names (if, you know, they weren’t already names for sexually transmitted diseases). 🙂
>Oh, wait, how could I have forgotten these??:A baby delivered right after my son at the birthing center was named Revolution Fighter. And a baby whose photo is on my OB’s picture wall is named NewYork.
>When I was growing up in Central Oregon, the nearby rival town of Redmond, OR, had a high schooler named Jack. Last name was Kanoff.
>OH, how come I missed this, I would have won too.I had a friend in college who wanted to name his daughter Chlamydia, he thought it sounded so pretty, who cares if it’s a venereal disease.My mom when to school with two kids with the last name Katt, their parents named them Tom, and Kitty.
>oops, never mind, I misread which Friday you were closing entries for. Did i win, Did I win huh, huh did I?
>OH, cause I have too. My husband has been wanting to name our next son Tyranosaurus Rex (I can’t even spell it) for 4 years now, HE thinks Rex for short and he’s not even joking. Fortunately, we’ve had two girls since then. When I told him I was pregnant the third time his first response was, finally, Tyrannasaurus Rex, I’ve been waiting for you.
>That’s easy: FashionetteAlso I might add — Reagan might be bad, but it’s not nearly so bad as Goneril. I am guessing that the proud parents probably were channeling Ronald more than King Lear anyhow.
>Oh, and I forgot. One of my preschool friends was named Stuart Goodbody. And she was a girl.
>Oh, I’ve got some doozies for ya. My aunt had a girl in her class once named Fhalyshia. Pronounced “Felicia.”My mom had a girl last year named Mackenize. It was pronounced “Mackenzie.” Now I understand there are a few different ways to spell Mackenzie, but the English language does have some rules. One being, “ize” is not pronounced the same as “zie.” It’s pronounced “eyes.” I think the worst, though, was the kindergartner’s name I saw on a bulletin board at her school last year: Militia. No joke. Who names their daughter MILITIA?!?
>My mom had a patient named Shithead pronounced Shith-ede. Crazy- huh. Imagine first day of school’s roll call. Teacher: Um, Shi-? No, that can’t be right… Shithead: Yes, it is. That’s me. I laugh just typing it.
>Abcde. Pronounced Abcidy.
>Dude. Toogie. (girl’s name)I win, right? 😉
>here are some real ghetto oak town names:Mercedes Benz (not kidding)Silver Ann Blackwell (get it? silver and black are the raider’s colors!)
>My mother’s cousin named her child “Brock Lee.’ My mom calls him ‘Asparagus.’ My co-worker’s son is “Nyunda”–pronounced none-day (rhymes with Monday). My nurse on the Women’s Floor when I had surgery in May was named “VaJanice.” She used ‘Janet’ but her legal name was on her nametag.
>There are definitely worse names on this list but I have to give this one. My brother in law’s name was Kermit. Granted he was born just before Kermit the Frog. He did have it legally changed but he will never live it down.
>ok. so some of my friends at one of the other high schools in town told me about twins Porsche (por-sha) & Mercedes. I know its true, I’ve seen them on myspace. I am so tired of all the damn Aiden/Aidan/Aidyn’s & Jaden’s in the world. I also know a women who has Laken (girl), Hayden (girl) & Masyn (boy) . . . yeesh
>Precious Amber Starr. Oh, and I have a Regan. It’s Shakespeare, dude!
>I have a few to add:In high school: Shrae D’Mae McGrawMy MIL’s school: Shi’thead — pronounced shitodNeveah of course– usually named to little girls who test positive for crystal meth at birthThe two names together are big in the South (Think “Anna Claire” with a thick syrupy accent). Not a bad name but overused and unoriginal.Spring Cloud, MD is a pediatrician in LA.Consider da Miracle is perhaps the weirdest I’ve heard. They called her Miracle.Runners up are Britian, Braedan, Josh (If I hear that one again I swear I’ll knife someone), Precious, Emily (sharpening the blade for this one too), Dakota, Cheyenne, Brianna, Kaylee, Kayleigh, and any other name that makes me think of some kid with a bow on her head the size of a cabbage.
>Oh my God. Why do parents do this?My ex Sister-In-Laws sister is named SOONER and her brothe is named Naldi. One of her other brothers named his daughter “MiLady” (as in , yes, M’Lady, you are the queeen). Ugh.When I was teaching, there was a student named Precious (and she wasn’t!) One time I was in the mall, and saw a Mom talking to her three sons: Wagner, Warner and Wilder. Ugh Ugh Ugh.My Son’s dance class has 3 Alyssas, and Alecia, and Alicia. One of the other girls in the dance studio is named Mykensi (a bad name with an even WORSE spelling. Another pair of sisters, Milana and Roma.
>Ah … I was waiting for it. Mrs. N. took a crack at my youngest daughter’s name: Precious.
>My mom went to school with a girl named Gaye, last name guy.My friend worked with a girl who was so secretive about the name she picked for her unborn baby because she was sure someone would steal it. The name? HUCKLEBERRY!Also my boyfriend’s niece ended up with the initials VAG.
>OK, I couldn’t pick between Piddy-Pat and Miracle. Then I remembered Sequoia (yes, like the tree). And there’s always Oranjelo and lemonjelo (brothers. get it? Orange jello and lemon jello). Lastly, OraLee (as in orally — poor little girl).Good grief.(one commenter mentioned a girl named Candy Cane. I went to grade school with a girl named Candy Cane!)
>My brothers daughters name is Wynter. Their last name is Frost.Wynter Frost.
>My parents always laughed about the name of an old neighbor with the name Jack Knoff (K not silent) I know a Sandy Butts, and I babysat a Justin Chase. My favorite is a deacon at our church: Dick Bender. :)My name is a two name first name: CaraBeth (I dont’ have a middle name), and yes I do get pissed when people call me Cara. Tee Hee!cbmwmoore@msn.com
>I went to school with a Girl named Secret whose little sister was Cinamon…and in high school I went to school with a girl named Windy Summer Night. The teachers always thought it was a joke when they saw her name on the absentee list.And on A Baby Story (I think) there was this kid named Atrayu…you know…the boy off of Never Ending Story…
>My niece born 10-10-07 is named STORY.Yep.like Tell me a S-T-O-R-Y.gah.
>I had an adviser in high school who’s name was Georgia Peach.my mother’s father died just before I was born, I was almost Thomasina. glad Dad talked her out of than.
>Nixon Louise I worked at a daycare, and that was the name of one of a little girl. She was born in the late 90’s(97 or 98, I can’t remember exactly) Apparently her parents really liked lying, crooked politicians. Her brother’s name wasn’t much better though.
>You and I are on the same page today (over at Crabmommy). I just have to share one more:Dijonaise.My friend’s neighbor’s kid.Truly.Madly.Pitifully.Candy Cane!Peytyn!Ah, but girls I’ve also met some real unfortunates out here in rural Mommyland: Nature, Kestrel, Canyon. NATURE!!!!Do visit me also at Cookie magazine sometime if I may be so bold as to plug– as I shall soon be doing a post about Utah baby names and boy is it ever gonna make you convulse in righteous revulsion.
>Know this is over but had to post this. Met this woman and her name was Queena. ok.. not so bad until you get her last name – Ho. Queena Ho. What are parents thinking?!
>Sha’Money. But she goes by “Money.” Nice.
>My 80+ year old German grandpa’s mother was named Odellia. My 25 yr. old cousin Hailey got stuck with Odellia as her middle name.Also, I work in downtown Nashville, and there is a girl who works at the Exon gas station on the corner of 12th Ave. & Broadway who’s name is “Chiquita” just like the banana!
>I would be crying if I didn’t still love my daughter’s name.. Kennedy. Though, people LOVE to ask how to spell it.. my response is “regular.” That shuts them up. How the hell else would you spell it?I really hate the name Caitlyn.. not matter how it is spelled.
>When we lived in South Carolina, my kids went to school with a kid named Universal Prathers.And another kid named BABYLACE. WTF?!?!
>This is not the name of a child, it’s the name of an adult, and I haven’t, until now, had an opportunity to share this publically. I keep telling the people I work with that I win for finding this one.I work for a multi-national conglomerate and often have to work with people who have unusual and exotic foriegn names, but about a year ago I had to do a double take, close my email and come back to it later because it CLEARLY had to be some kind of joke.Totally not a joke, the (Chinese) man’s name?Loong Fatt Kok. Kid you not.
>I was in TJ Maxx one day and a woman in there was calling her little girl with a texas size bow in her hair over to her. MONROE was her name. Yeah, like the guy on Too CLose for Comfort!
>Hey! One of my cats is named Abelard (the other is Heloise). It seemed only fitting since he’s now missing the goods he needs to make Heloise feel like a woman 🙂
>No joke … my brother’s high school classmate … Cassanova Kilimanjaro Clifton
>Django (boy)Montry (girl)Orion (boy)Peggy Hogg (girl)Perl (My grandpa)Oakley (girl)and my favorite…Dinette.
>My husband teaches kindergarten and has had a Prayer in his class, which is pretty bad. And I once worked in a registration office of a school, and registered a Vietnamese girl called Yu Phat Ho. I’m guessing she’s taken an English name by now. Poor kid.
>Karina-I’m right there with you, hate, hate, hate all the Den names around. Jayeden and Aidan are the worst of them
>Kitchenetta is awesome. My friend and I joke that if I had a daughter I would name her Mayonesa. it’s not as funny now that I realize it’s probably been done before, and not as a joke. The Utah baby namer has a bunch of really odd names. My personal favorite is Jennyfivetina.Also, there really was woman in Texas who was named Ima Hogg. Despite her unfortunate name, she commanded a great deal of respect and was a wonderful humanitarian and philanthropist.
>My friend works at a local children’s hospital & every week when I see him I have to ask what his favorite “name of the week” was. About a month ago he had the WORST names I have every heard of. It was a set of twins named…(drumroll please)………..”Cash Money” & “Million Dollar”. No, I’m not kidding!My daughters Kindergarten class has some good ones too…-Destanie-Aunesti (pronounced “Honesty”)-DesirayAnd, I can’t leave out the ones from my kids preschool years…-Raef-Octavious-M’Shara-J’Qeze (no “u” after the Q…not that it would help)-Agustus -Tamaria-Etherial-Nevaeh (“Heaven” spelled backwards…gag!)
>At the ped’s office, I saw the name Jealousy on the sign in sheet.I knew a woman named Moddess, after the sanitary pads of yesteryear. I used to work with a woman named Countess.
>god, i saw one that was so annoying this morning online. triplets named: Gavin, Cadin and . . . . wait for it! Emmersyn. blech.
>My baby sons, age 1 and 2.5, go to daycare with Trinnedy. Sad but true.
>How about triplets named:Cristal, Chandra & Lier? No really.And a girl named Ima Butt. To give her parent’s some credit – they were first generation Indian immigrants. Seriously though – IMA BUTT. Ugghh. It was torment when a sub came to class.
>I come across a lot of weird names at work. This one is just gross.”Jizzmone”. That poor boy.
>My niece worked with a gal who named her daughters Avalon and Elantra. I do wonder if her son had a car name too.My daughter had a classmate in pre-school named Acire (pronounced uh-keer-ay). Mom’s name is Erica and she just reversed it so she could name her daughter after her.
>Maybe it’s because I grew up in and live in a diverse community, but names like Sunil and Dagny don’t seem all that strange or unusual to me. And the French pronunciation of Genevieve is “ZHAN-vee-ev.” Again, not that weird to me. And it’s because I live where I do that I could give my children “odd” names and not feel too bad about it. Maybe people just need to expand their worlds a little more. You know, read more. Travel.BUT since that’s not the point of your post I’ll stop rambling, and get back to the point. I’d like to submit the following for weirdest name I’ve ever heard:(not disclosing first name) Deepass Funk.I don’t want to share the first name but just know it’s the name of a color. This kid was given a completely chosen name–Funk is not the last name of either parent.
>I think that Heaven spelled backwards is the worst. Honestly, talk about trashy.. Though Brandee comes a close second. Some of the names people are claiming to know *must* be urban legends. Seriously, can’t believe all of them.
>My fiance’s step sister is Pegeen. PEGEEN. It’s horrible. She named her SON Jan Michael. My grandmother (her name is Claudette) named all her daughters “ettes”. Arlette, Donette, Claudette (she goes by Tina), and Bernadette (calls herself Cookie).
>My paternal grandparents had odd names:Tyndal Ditzler andExcie MarcumThose names are from the early 1900’s — if they were still alive they’d be 104 and 96 years old now. I saw a weird (read = STRANGE) name Saturday on a football player’s jersey. I can’t for the life of me remember what it is, but I do remember looking at my husband and saying “WTF”??
>A girl at worked just named her son, Plexico. Yes thats Plexico. She named him after some NFL player named Plaxico Burress but changed it for the much needed originality.
>This is fun! I’m a preschool teacher and I enjoy making fun of the kid’s names. I currently have a Hampton and a Kailey. Last year had a Rigdon (named for his grandmother’s maiden name) and a Gunter. And had a sibling whose name is Horace. Poor thing.
>If you want to laugh so much you’ll wish you’d done your kegels, go towww.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/Otherwise know as “Baby’s named a bad, bad thing”.I’m a teacher and I SWEAR, I think some parents get their kids names from this site.Oy vey.
>My pediatrician (whose first name is Booker) just had his first child. A girl named… Brinkley.The word verification I had to enter sounds like a contest entry, too: uqaeice
>Here in gool ol’ ‘Bama, there’s a particular family who are diehard Alabama football fans. They named their little boys Tyde and Saben (After “Crimson Tide” and the new Alabama coach, Nick Saben.”) ::rolling eyes::I just have to say I’m SO tired of all the Kaitlyns, Caitlins, Katelins, Catelinns, Katelynnes, Caytlins, etc. etc. When all of them grow up, there’s going to be an army of Kaitlyns and every one of their names will be spelled differently !!!
>OK, my friend in AL was a sub-teacher and she had a student on roll call that was Shithead (Sha-Thee-ed)….. I often wonder, does she have a baby sister Asshole (ash-oh-lay)???
>A TN deer hunter named his girls Bambi and Fawn. Brother was Buck. No joke!!Also, my mom used to work at the health department and saw a patient who named her baby Vagina (pronounced like Regina with a V).My neighbor’s son is named Dashel.I’ve heard the story about the child named Shithead. Wonder of that’s so.Last but not least, we have a baby boy at our church who is named, of all things, Larry.
>My cousin-in-law, who is due in a few months, is naming her baby girl… Velvet Rose(I think I’ve been to that lounge)
>Joy, pronounced schwah like the schwa sound (not kidding). Rory Lyon. BB Guin, (daughter) Tommy Guin (son)
>Barrack.
>I grew up with a guy named Randolph Randolph. That’s pretty bad.Oh wait…middle name: Bernaise.
>One more for fun:My mother had a student named Jennifa because her mother (apparently with a thick NY-area accent) heard the name, sounded it out, and wrote it down on the birth certificate. Ouch.
>I had a good one at work tonight….D’Nai pronouced deny!! If that isn’t a slap in the face. WOnder if her dad named her.
>I went to high school with a girl named Candy Barr, rode the bus in 4th grade with a boy named Tye Tongues. However, the absolute worst name I have ever heard came from when my husband worked with inner city kids. The name was pronounced Shuh-THEED…..but it was spelled Shithead. I am not making this up!! That one’s gotta take the cake.
>When I was teaching, I ran into two kids with what I thought were odd names: a boy named Ski and a girl whose parents named her Crystal Meth. I didn’t believe the second one myself until I saw the class roster. Other weird names I’ve encountered while teaching or otherwise: Karston (or Karstyn or Karstin or Karsten) for boys or girls, Keegan (Keagen, Keagyn, etc. again for either sex), Candyce, Charyl, and a couple others I can’t remember off the top of my head.I am related to a bunch of weirdly named people, but I don’t want them to find me (they are that “unique”) so I can’t put them on here. As far as “Genevieve,” which someone else mentioned pronounced as “John-Vee-Ev,” my last job at a financial institution, I discovered a lady who threw a HUGE fit when her name was mispronounced. I’d never seen it pronounced “John-Vee-Ev” before, so I was taken by surprise when she jumped on my case about it. I just started calling her “Jenny” which she was fine with (surprisingly since it doesn’t sound like her name).
>I also went to school with Winter Snow and Seneca Sledge. no joke.
>oh and how about the wilkinson quints? (no offense to them): the 7 yr old is Riley, 4 yr old is Kaiya and then the 5 babies are . . . Rustin, Ryder, Kaydence, Kassidy & Kyndall
>After years of working in Labor and Delivery, the hands-down, strangest name that sticks in my head is Qurrystal–yup, Crystal! Poor child.
>What about Kennedy as a middle name if it’s the mother’s maiden name?
>284 comments? Geez Louise! Hubs wanted to name the oldest “Dallas” after his team, but I babysat a kid named Dallas when I was younger and there was NO WAY.A have a friend who’s daughter is McKenna and I think it’s too much. Sounds and is spelled like a last name.
>Three kids in the family: Nicholas Alexander, Jacob Graham, and Ashley Belle. Hey, at least no one who knows just one of the kids will ever think their name is weird!
>I know two brothers named Storm and Forest. Hate names like:CaysonKaysonGrasyonDaysonCarsynetc.etc.these parents are such idiots!
>Hee hee, this was a great post lindsey. D.G was heavily referred to in college as-dick grabber!~allydivinecaroline.com
>Cash Money – after whatever rapper’s group!! I can’t believe there are more than one of those, because I knew of a Cash Money too. Good God, people!
>Gryffon. Scary isn’t it! Also, i hate london!Thanks!Jocelyn dot smith at HCAHealthcare dot com
>My parents hated me at birth. Seriously. My dad wanted to name me Earlene Bernice.My mother prevailed, however I am still stuck with EARLENE.Tis why I’ve embraced my redneck ways…Have fun with narrowing down this list!
>I went to high school with a Peter Peters. Who DOES that???And in college there was a dude named Richard Swallow. Get it? Dick Swallow. Poor guy.
>I once knew two sisters who were named Windy & Stormy and their last name was Weathers. My mom worked with a guy named Kelly Green. Parents should really stop a think before they give their kids a “funny” name!
>I had to call a woman named Wintress for work once. BF’s husband worked with an Aquanetta. Good friend works with a girl named Toccata (which is his dog’s name). I think those are pretty wacky!
>Gunner RheaThe parents didn’t put it together until the nurse came in reading off the clipboard that she’d come to get Gunner Rhea for some screening.Also knew a Veranda.
>I love it hen people don’t read previous comments and all post lemonjello and orangejello.Riigghhhhhht.Urban legend much?
>I used to work in a health care setting which provided daily entertainment in the bizarro-world names. I have kept lists of hundreds of these names but the cream of the crop are (and the last names have been left off to protect the innocent): Ziquadreon Spock, Mystereas Journeey, NYChic Cloletha, Queenia Moneequay, Jalayzza Junettea, Teasia Tuneisha, LaDerdia Velonsay Lustra, Tight Jeans, Tangy Candida, Oaktater Bacon, Claravoyance Dion’quay Sin’que (all one name the poor kid), Gelateen Carpeeta,Doneejah Shonquatinqua, Ulonda Partrisha, Tawanna Travelle, and last but not least, Beansand Hamm.And there’s lots more where THOSE came from. :o) Scary.
>I haveLaura & Ashley (twin girls)andIgor & Gligor (twin boys, who not only had rhyming names, but looked just like one would picture an Igor and a Gligor)Tight Jeans (read in a previous post)??? For a boy or a girl? Somehow, it’d be worse for/on a boy… I read Audio Science on a celebrity baby name list, and strangely, I liked it!
>in middle school my shop teacher was Dick Cheek. I’m dead serious. 1st name Richard but of course he had to go by Dick.
>Just found the post a few days ago…..I have two names for you, One of the Royal Guards for the car that carried Princess Diana to her final resting place is named Graham Cracker. The other one is a player for the Boston Red Socks, his name is Coco Crisp.
>I too am a lurker but as this is a favorite topic of mine I thought I would share this one. My friend is a trainer for a retail store and was teaching a class and came across a young woman named Taqueria (a mexican fast food restaurant) but the young woman corrected her pronunciation as Taqueria is actually pronounced Ta-queer-ee-ya, I mean really people!Jakeadoo@aol.com
>Well, if we’re using names from work: twin brothers-Antoine and Antione. That is NOT misspelled. One twin’s name had the ‘i’ and the ‘o’ reversed. Mom and Dad got really upset if you mixed them up, too.
>Okay, I wasn’t going to post, but I feel the need to share this. I worked with a guy named Clint. Not a weird name, but his middle name was “Oris.” All together now….”Clint Oris”Ouch.One more…for a kicker, my mom had a little girl that went to her daycare named Betty Boop Brown. Some parents just don’t get it.
>I forgot to add my son’s name to the list: SKJEL.Must have had rocks for brains when I was naming him because who in their right mind names a kid with only one vowel in it, thus guaranteeing every. single. person. you meet will mispronounce his name or ask you how to say it.Ya, I’m a dumbass. Must be because my middle name is Earlene.
>ABCDE (absadee is how it is pronounced). How about that????
>Local girl here in beautiful Southern Wisconsin: Her name is Marijuana Pepsicola. Her Mother’s two favorite things. No. Lie. Also, not nearly as weird, but there was a local orthodontist who recently retired named Dr Eliot Elliot Elliot (all spelled differently).
>A few years ago, I worked with a girl named Girleen. Bad enough, but then it transpired that she had a twin sister named PEARLEEN. Yup, Girleen and Pearleen. Awesome!And my dad’s old assistant in Hong Kong was named Kermit. No kidding. She was usurped only by another woman in the office who was named (I SWEAR TO GOD) Typewriter.
>I love the name Ramsey for a girl or a boy_- thanks anonymous for pointing it out to me. Love it!
>Huglyn (pronounced hug-lynn) – Dad’s name was Hugh, Mom’s name was Lynn. What else could they possibly name their annoyingly perky daughter?
>Anonymous: the jello boys are not urban legend. My fiance’s father(who is a pediatrician) treated them when they were babies. He has some fantastic stories about the completely stupid things people name their kids.
>no joke. My husband worked with a woman who’s name was Rocksand (get it? Roxanne.. Rock-Sand..) If that’s not bad enough her last name is Underwood. Rocksand Underwood. That’s all I have to say about that. Oh, and Rocksand, if you’re reading this, it’s nothing against you. I heard you are a very nice woman. It’s your parents I’m questioning.
>Oh please, the jello boys ARE an urban legend! Everyone “knows” someone who knows them. Someone started the stupid email about it that continues around the world over and over.
>I am so glad that my parents talked themselves out of what they originally wanted to name me:Philicity.Seriously?! I would just like to send a big THANK YOU to my parents for coming to their senses and choosing Aimee instead.
>I knew a guy in college whose name was John Lucifer (Lastname). His parents were not Satan-worshippers–they were just so ignorant they didn’t realize they named their son after the Prince of Darkness.
>I know an 80 year old named Cloford. He told me he was a twin so I asked his brother’s name and he said Clifford. Clifford and Cloford, it was for real.
>Ramsey?Why? Because the condom broke? (ramses)How about Trojay?I UNDERSTAND that it is a last name, but it is dumb for a first name.
>When I was in a pageant as a teen, there was another contestant who’s name was Apple. Of course now Gwentyh made this popular. But what was worse was when I met her sisters….Peaches & Cherry.I also knew a teacher in grade school who’s name was Anna Lipshitch. (pronounced Lip Shit) She was unmarried. After being humiliated for so many years I would have gotten married at the age of 18 with a name like that.
>These are hilarious, although unfortunate because they represent real kids who have to suffer with them!My uncle’s name was Atlantic. But, worse still is he was born and lived his entire life in Atlantic City. Poor guy!My grandmother’s name was Italia, but as soon as she was old enough she had people call her Edith. I didn’t even know her real name until I was an adult.I think funky spellings bother me even more than off the wall names. UGH!
>Like you and many others, this subject has been a pet peeve of mine. I especially dislike the “unique” spelling issue. I have a family member named Lyndsie, and to this day I cringe when writing it. I ask everyone to spell their name for me, because you cannot make the assumption that Mary is M-A-R-Y, since it could be, well, anything from what we see here!As with some of the other posters here, my contribution comes from working with state social services. I too saw Vagina as a name, because the mother thought the word sounded nice. Two names that I do not think were posted yet, that I saw were Toyota Corona and Toyota Corolla. For twins. Really.
>There are three siblings who share my pediatrician named Exceller, Achiever and…(wait for it) DoGooder.
>I can vouch for J-wim’s comment about Marijuana Pepsi (Last name). She is real. In college I worked in the local Walmart cash office. I saw a check she wrote at Walmart. And then she was written up in the college newspaper; those were her parents 2 favorite things. Odd names I have seen:Tequila (little girl on a Milwaukee newscast I remember from years ago)Finnigan (he even had it embroidered on his sweatshirt)Tolene (isn’t that a chemical?)Lagina (that’s with an L, not a V.)
>Oh dear. How will you ever narrow these down?My son went to school with a Strawberry Starshine and her sister, Puff Nightshade (known to all as Berry & Puff)I do have to tell you that my stepdaughter is expecting a boy, and unfortunately, plans to name him Selwyn. Her husband wants his middle name to be “Danger” – as in “Danger is my middle name” – but I think (Hope!) she has overruled him on that one. What can I say?
>I know the contest is over, but I have to add…Operadella. Seriously, a co-worker’s sister. I met her. My son had a “TYRANNY” in his 4th grade class. And father had NO CLUE what it meant.Now we’re Greek, so I’ve seen my fair share of girls named Aphrodite, nicknamed Didi, Diamonte, Aristotle, and Kyriake, referred to as “Sunday” and other “odd names,” but at least they can vouch the names are NOT “made up” because they sound nice, and are usually family names. I count my blessings my family & my inlaws have/had fairly normal names to pass along.
>Joeless. Full name: Joeless Pierre.
>I went to jr. high with a girl named Candace Kane. Yes, she went by Candy. She had developmental issues, and you can only imagine the teasing the poor girl got.Personally (and I know I’m going to offend countless people here) I can’t stand the name Madison or any variation of it. I worked with a woman who adopted a little korean girl and named her Madison, “because I liked the movie _Splash!_” the mother said. Ugh. What kind of name is that for a girl, anyway?
>Shadymon – pronounced Shdiamond. Needless to say I thought it should have been shady-mon….stupid people suck.
>This is in response to: Anonymous said… Huglyn (pronounced hug-lynn) – Dad’s name was Hugh, Mom’s name was Lynn. What else could they possibly name their annoyingly perky daughter?1:04 PM Hey jackass, you’re talking about me. Before leaving that comment, you should have first verified the origin of my name. My dad’s name is HUGO (not Hugh) and my mom’s name is EVELYN (not Lynn). Sorry if my enthusiasm for life has negatively affected yours. Kiss my ass.
>I work with a girl named Caressa (as in caress-a)she goes by Cessa (kessa) which I kind of like but even she makes fun of her full stripper nameAnd for the person who thought jon-vi-ev was a weird way to pronounce Genevieve – thats actualy the correct French pronunciation.
>My brother-in-law worked with a woman named Velveta. I also once met a woman with a son and daughter named Cash and Charge (I don’t remember which was a boy and which was the girl).
>I know a 1st grader named I’Rule
>I know a 1st grader named I’Rule
>I know a 1st grader named I’Rule
>There was a girl whose name was “Female” (Pronounced “Fee-mal-ee), and her reasoning for her name was “when her daddy got to the hospital, they had already named her!” (not kidding).
>In my class back when i was in high school there used to be a girl named Navada and her sisters were called Destaniy and Harmony but her brothers was called Josh an Peter
Rubella Winters.(surely named after the vaccine. A vaccine for a disease I can’t find a definition for) Rubella was one of 3 black girls in JP Moore Elementary school, circa 1975. She taught me “Tweedle Leedle Lee”,”Miss Mary Mack”, and “Behind the ‘fridgerator, there was a piece of glass”
I knew one kid called Pajamay. Her mother had seen the word pajama and thought it was pretty. Then, there were the twins – Maggie and Kerrie, which was sort for their legal names: Magazine and Kerosene.
When I was in high school, I met a girl at camp named Tampaxia.
I knew a woman once who had a baby girl and named it “Shithead” claiming it was pronounced “sha theed”. We told her that actually reads as SHIT HEAD & she claimed we were “being racial”. I’m still awaiting the day I hear the news that Shit head has murdered her mom!