I Was a Burlesque Dancer

I realize that the title of this post is one you probably never thought you’d see on this blog.

Or maybe you did.

I mean, you just really never know what’s going to happen around here, do you?

Well, it’s true…  In the latest episode of I’ll Take That Dare, I was a burlesque dancer…

and believe it or not, this dare was my idea. But before you judge, let me explain why.

Burlesque is BIG here in Nashville, and after seeing countless ads for the shows around town, Dennis and I finally went to see one on a date night. I have to admit I was reluctant, because I assumed it would be a tamer version of a strip club act- and strip clubs are one of the most depressing places in the world.

Luckily, the burlesque show was TOTALLY different.

I sat in a sold-out theater among a raucous crowd of hipsters that was at least half female. When the burlesque dancers took the stage, I was surprised to find that they weren’t women with impossibly perfect, plastic surgery-enhanced bodies. Instead, they were naturally beautiful performers of all shapes and sizes (I found out later that about half of Nashville’s burlesque troupe are moms), dancing with so much confidence that I found myself wishing I felt half as good about my own body as they felt about theirs.

The audience was incredibly supportive, hooting and clapping and woo-hooing in all the right places. And if you know anything about burlesque, you know that it’s more about what you don’t see than what you do. There’s no actual nudity in the show (although there is some tassel twirling, which… HOW DO THEY DO THAT?)

Anyway, when we left that night, I was thrilled– because despite the Victoria’s Secret fashion shows and the magazine covers featuring 100-lb actresses and the many, many other ways that media uses women with bodies we’ll never have to leave us feeling dejected about ourselves– despite all this, there is a burlesque troupe in Nashville proving that you don’t have to be built like a Barbie doll to be sexy, to feel good about yourself, and to shake it like a Polaroid picture in front of 400 strangers.

What’s more, these women clearly weren’t performing for the enjoyment of men (although I have no doubt that many men enjoyed it). They were doing it for themselves. And that really changes everything, when you think about it.

Since Nashville’s Delinquent Debutantes offers classes, I thought that burlesque would make a great fitness dare — but I’ll admit, once I learned the routine, I was terrified to actually perform it on stage. See for yourself…

Obviously, we had fun with this video. We borrowed a local music stage for my performance, in an auditorium where the bartenders and sound technicians were setting up for a real performance that night. They had no idea who I was or why we were there. You can imagine how much fun it was doing a burlesque performance over and over with that crowd in the room!

OH THE HUMILIATION.

And I’m sure the whole idea of this freaks more than a few people out. But I did it. And I’m glad I did it. I’m tired of mentally beating myself up for not being a size two. It’s time to get over that. Life, after all, should be about having fun and trying new things — and I never, ever want to take myself too seriously.

I think this video pretty much guarantees that that will NEVER happen.

So from now on? Just call me Goldie Bigrocks.

Would you take burlesque classes?