Left Out

  1. subabaloo says:

    What a little monster. Watching your kids be left out is the worst. Sounds like you handled it well, even if you didn’t “feel” well doing it.

  2. Nicole says:

    Poor Bruiser! That must have been so hard for him. I want to kick that kid in the shins on his behalf!

    I’m sort of going through this with Lex. There’s this boy that keeps picking on him at preschool, but since he’s older and bigger, Lex just adores him. He doesn’t seem to understand yet the concept of people who just aren’t nice. I know when it sinks in, he’s going to be heartbroken too. And the worst is that I can’t stop the heartbreak that I know is coming.

    Parenting sucks sometimes.

  3. Randmlusk says:

    It is truly just hte beginning.  I have a 14yo daughter who still experiences it, and it still slashes deep into my heart every time it happens to watch her as she tries to keep her chin up and pretend that it doesn’t bother her.  Oh the awful and nasty things I have been tempted to say to the snotty girls of the world, but, I can’t, so I just make sure she knows she is loved.  Sigh-

  4. KelleyWinslett says:

    Bless him!!! I have a 4 year old boy, they are so tender. Huds would love to be Bruiser’s friend!!!
    I was a teacher prior to having Hudson and I’m not ashamed to admit that I certainly bust out the teacher glares when I need to. I know Hudson will be rejected and disappointed in life, but damn, I just can’t allow it!

    • Anonymous says:

      I find myself admonishing children from time to time, when their parents are ignoring their bad behavior. I always cringe doing it, but ultimately what’s wrong is wrong and SOMEONE needs to tell them! 

  5. Raebabe3 says:

    You are a VERY good mother.  Congratulations.

  6. Anonymous says:

    oh girl – this is SO the most difficult part of mothering and notice how it’s inexplicably left out of the ‘what to expect when you’re expecting’ books!
    I come awfully close to rage when this kind of stuff happens to my boys…but just standing with them and validating what they are feeling is way more important than attempting to change the impossible.

    Not sure I could resist planning a sidling-up-to his-mother- and-inserting-a pithy-comment during the next art class… you’ve got a whole week to think about it…

  7. Rebeccah Connelly says:

    Poor Bruiser…glad he has a sweet mommy to help him through this kind of stuff.

  8. Melissa says:

    That’s so tough. 🙁 

    My son is not quite two and already breaks my heart. In the childcare at my gym where I babysit two days a week I watch him toddle after the older kids wanting to play, but they ignore him and go about their business. He just gets frustrated and ends up playing by himself, but still…I don’t want my little boy to grow up playing in a corner by himself…sigh…

    This Mommy thing is hard!!! I’m with ya on that one!

    • Anonymous says:

      I remember that feeling! Don’t worry- Be glad that your son is taking interest in other kids at all. Most children at that age don’t notice anyone else!

  9. Mary says:

    And when that other kid gets older and starts doing really bad stuff, his mom will be right there denying that her precious could possibly be doing that.  This stuff makes me so mad.

    • Melissa says:

      When I worked at a school a large percentage of the parents were like that. I would think “Do you really LIVE with this child? This hellion who makes our lives a NIGHTMARE every single day????”

      It was nuts. 

    • Anonymous says:

      I KNOW. I used to meet the older version of this from time to time when my older girls were in middle school. Now I know how it happened.

  10. Jenna@CallHerHappy says:

    Ah Lindsay! Don’t make me cry. Promise me this will never happen to my baby. Ugh, and, I just know it will, because it happens to everyone. I think what you said to Bruiser was better than anything else you could have said. Tell him that maybe that boy is a mean boy, but all of us here on your blog think he is one awesome dude!

    Jenna
    callherhappy.com

    • Anonymous says:

      Ha! Thanks Jenna!  He was over it within a few minutes, and had found other kids to play with, luckily. One thing I love about him is that he’ll play with ANYONE, even a 2-year-old girl if that’s all that’s available!  LOL.

    • Anonymous says:

      Ha! Thanks Jenna!  He was over it within a few minutes, and had found other kids to play with, luckily. One thing I love about him is that he’ll play with ANYONE, even a 2-year-old girl if that’s all that’s available!  LOL.

  11. Sandra Taylor says:

    Absolutely wonderful post!  I fear my reaction in this situation more than my daughter’s.  She is 10 years old now, and I’m learning, some girls are just MEAN.  Parenting is tough.

    • Anonymous says:

      You are so right! Overall, I’m sure my son will have it much easier than my daughter. I’m not looking forward to the girl cliques!

    • Anonymous says:

      You are so right! Overall, I’m sure my son will have it much easier than my daughter. I’m not looking forward to the girl cliques!

  12. Ame says:

    Fist-bump to you for giving Bruiser the correct and honest answer.  It is so hard, especially at that age, for us to tell our child(ren) that some kids are just bullies/brats, finding the right words to let them know that they are not the one causing the problem, the other child is the one causing the problem.
    I’ve tried very hard to make sure my daughters (almost 12, almost 14) understand that sometimes it just doesn’t matter how kind you are, some kids are going to be what they are going to be.  I’ve also told them, more times than I can count, that they BETTER NOT act THAT WAY towards other children, that if their friends are treating someone that way, even if they are not brave enough to stand up for that picked-on kid, they BETTER NOT JOIN IN, EVER. 
    Kids learn how to behave at home.  Fist-bump to you, the Shame On You Finger to the parents of that child.
    That’s all I have to say about that.
    Ame in W. TN

    • Anonymous says:

      Thanks, Ame! I do try to use as much as possible that happens to them now to illustrate how life is going to work for them as adults. One thing I really want to eliminate is the idea that everything has to be “fair,” because life will never be that way.

      But that’s a topic for another post!  ;D

    • Anonymous says:

      Thanks, Ame! I do try to use as much as possible that happens to them now to illustrate how life is going to work for them as adults. One thing I really want to eliminate is the idea that everything has to be “fair,” because life will never be that way.

      But that’s a topic for another post!  ;D

  13. NancyB says:

    We had a pain in the ass/bully who lived in our neighborhood when Cody was young. His Mommy thought he hung the moon. He was wretched to my son and the 4 other boys who lived there at alternate times.
    They moved out of state the summer after 7th grade and when we left the little going away party the other mothers and I gave each other a knowing smile and a silent fist bump.

    • Anonymous says:

      Ha ha! I am picturing in my mind the exact same kind of boy, who lived in my neighborhood when I was growing up! Luckily, our street doesn’t have one of them now! 

  14. Anonymous says:

    at that age, i do think we sometimes need to step in and say ‘stay away’…if he was older and wanted to hang out with a child who was drinking, would it still be okay to let them be together because he wants to have a friend?  we need to teach our children to make good choices and realize that we are who we hang with…

    • Anonymous says:

      Well that’s quite an extrapolation!  ;D  I want Bruiser to be exposed to some degree of this because I’d like for him to learn how to handle these situations while I’m there to talk him through it. The lesson he learned from it that day was how to make other friends, even when you’re hurting over being rejected by the one you wanted to hang out with. Frankly, I know some adults who STILL haven’t learned this lesson!

  15. Tony says:

    This mother reminds me of a mother I saw at my son’s preschool a few months ago.  His class (3 year olds) was having a parents breakfast with the kids.  I was there for probably about 30 to 45 minutes.  This one mom spent the ENTIRE time on her phone talking and typing not spending any time with her son.  As she’s completely ignoring her son, her phone is plugged into the wall socket and the cord is blocking a common thoroughfare so people walking through have to walk around her table to continue to the next room. 

    To top it off towards the end of the breakfast she steps out of the room on a call (apparently the 8th phone call was too private for the rest of us to hear), and her son walks up to me a few minutes later with the saddest pout on his face asking me where his mommy is.  I was horrified.

    • Anonymous says:

      That’s sad. Occasionally, though, I’M THAT MOM. ;D Let’s hope that was an important business day for her and she was trying (unsuccessfully) to squeeze the breakfast in anyway– and that it’s not an every day thing!

  16. Boricua_keya says:

    I know in your head you called that little boy an asshole and imagined him getting paint forcefully thrown in his face and smacked with the thick paint brushes. Well, I know i did just now. I am not looking forward to that but you just gave me a great example of how i should react. I can’t sheild him forever and things like this will help him understand how people can be and he will know how to handle these situations. Hopefully I remember when that time comes.

    • Anonymous says:

      You will! Your mothering instinct definitely kicks in, but you also learn to have more empathy for others, which tempers the telling-other-people-off urge.  🙂

  17. Jackie says:

    Poor little guy!  I completely understand how you feel.  There were times when my son was growing up I would have loved to have taught a few kids and parents how to act properly.  Some people just don’t have respect for others therefore they can not teach respect.

    • Anonymous says:

      It’s really shocking, isn’t it? I am always in awe of the number of parents who just seem to check out at various points in their kids’ childhoods.

  18. cdmcake says:

    It’s hard to remember that those obnoxious kids are in pain too, and like the boy you describe, usually don’t get enough of something — love, discipline, attention — from their own parents.

  19. Robyn says:

    Oh man, went through a similar empathy last week when my 5 year old son realized another little boy had been at his friend’s house more than him.  It hurts to see them hurt.

  20. Cathy B. says:

    My kid is know as Danger Boy-seeking out the trouble makers and naughty children rather than hanging with the kids doing the right thing. Unfortunately they love a follower and often welcome him into their fold.  Far better for him to be left out this time and see how hurtful some kids can be.  

  21. […] dealt with my son being left out shared my irritation with the school photo racket going on at his […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.