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October 11, 2006 posted by Lindsay

Moms Club Throwdown

Hey, remember that column I wrote last week about my problems finding a playgroup to call my own? Part of it detailed my experience attending a Green Hills Moms Club event (Green Hills, for those of you outside Nashville, is one of Nashville’s wealthiest neighborhoods) and feeling both a little bored and a little out of place.

Since the column ran, I’ve gotten e-mails, letters, and personal thanks from moms who’ve had similar experiences with playgroups. But I heard nothing from the members of the Moms Club.

Until today.

Apparently, they all got together last night and burned an effigy of me while chanting their Moms Club vows, because I’ve gotten a number of angry comments from them since then. They have tried to convince me that I actually did not see a Mercedes and Lexus parked at the sparsely-attended member event I wrote about and that their members actually are penniless slobs just like me, although Google searches of their names turned up everything from Junior League and other chi chi Board memberships to prestigious universities and places of employment.

No matter. It all brings up an interesting issue. My column was not a fluffy features piece on playgroups. It was my own personal experience, not as a journalist exposing playgroups, but as a suburban mom considering my toddler’s (and my own) social options. And honestly, reading back over the column, I think that I come out looking like the biggest loser of all.

Several of the Green Hills moms have expressed outrage that I, a mother myself, poked fun at a moms group. But from what many of you have told me, I’m hardly the only one who’s felt like an outsider at a social event that’s purportedly for kids. I’m curious to know what you think. Are we as moms obligated to support each other, no matter what? Or is there a benefit to being honest about our feelings, even when they aren’t warm and fuzzy?

And Green Hills Moms, feel free to respond in the comments, but remember that the column was about my own experience searching for a moms’ group, not some grand citywide statement on Moms Clubs, and also remember that cursing at me and putting down my neighborhood really does nothing to further your cause.

Comments

comments

  • >I feel it is only right that we get to see the comments that you have received thus far in order to judge their merit ourselves.

  • >The comments are linked in this post. Let me know if you have trouble finding it.

  • >Hmm.. maybe I’m doing something wrong? All I see is a link to the original column….

  • >can’t trust eveything you read on google??? Who from that playgroup drove a lexus? And who is in the junior league? Dude i am in that group and live in a dump in slyvan park that my husband i scrap by to renovate our dump in the 37209 zip code. ps: what does the junior league do? do you know?

  • >Oh my. After all of the comments you’ve received, I can see how they have really proven your original feelings wrong. NOT! Wow. I’m so glad I was too timid to even try getting into a mom’s club when my kids were little. Thanks for saying what you have, regardless of your critics. There are more of us that feel the way you feel than you will ever know.

  • >I feel sorry for you all that don’t venture out to play with other moms – we do have a blast with our little ones. I know my sons will have memories as will i that will last a lifetime. and most of those memories cost us nothing. Don’t judge people based on their bank accounts or what you think they are or a zip code – i am certain you don’t want others doing that to you or hell maybe you do … in which case i feel even more sorry for you and a little scared. PS: Yo ST would love to see that all that journalistic research you did on our club — when i google gh moms i don’t see a mention of money, lexus’s, junior league, just a club offering support to other moms…also i know of the 55 members i don’t think i know of anyone driving a lexus or maybe i just don’t care as long as i like the person and my kids are having fun…i say this as I drive my 86 ford winstar that my 2 pups and my 2 kids trash on a reg basis. Ps: paid cash for it with my waitressing tips back in the day:) all the while living in the 37209…go figure:)

  • >Again, I am sorry that the Green Hills Moms club was not for you. I still don’t think you gave it a chance though. Yoou said so yourself it took nearly 2 years for your current playgroup to really take. Also so if we all did drive BMW’s and the like and all chaired some type of function? Does that make us mean or unsupportive, or bad moms? We have a diverse membership, we have members from Japan,California, and girls like me that grew up here. We are not all best friends, but we have a mutual respect for eachother because we know what the day in and day out is like. Thats our deal, nothing more nothing less. So please quit bashing our club, it is a onderful organization and one I am proud to be president of. Again, you are welcome try it out again if you want and would urge you to if your going to continue to write about us.

  • >Gertie, try refreshing your page and see if you don’t see the link halfway down this post.Anonymous, I know all about the Junior League. My mom was a member. I have to say, too, that there’ve been a number of debates on this site and so far, your Moms Club is taking the cake in rudeness- which surprises me, considering that the recent Pageant Mom debate was much more contentious.I’m not even sure why you’re spending so much time and effort trying to prove that despite evidence to the contrary, you’re all actually living in dumps and are uneducated and poverty-stricken. That wasn’t the point of the column, anyway.I have nothing against the GHMC members or anyone who wants to join- I think I made it very clear that it wasn’t for ME (and also made it clear that I felt like the loser for not feeling like I fit in)- and now that I’m getting some of these nasty comments, I’m thinking I definitely made the right decision.

  • >I think these posts require a little self reflection, Lindsay.You’re judging books by their covers after one meeting, which is what you’re saying is so bad about the GH mom’s club. I think its a mark of someone who is very insecure, and that’s ok, because a lot of people are. Don’t put others down to make yourself feel better. Even if you were being judged.

  • >Egads! How terrible, the one with the foul mouth! I guess it goes to show that neither money nor zipcode are any indication of class. I was quite frankly embarrassed for that individual. She’s a mother? The GHMC should not be so concerned about how you are portraying them, but how one of their own is portraying herself.

  • M

    >People need to chill…everyone is entitled to their own opinion and Lindsey has made it very clear that it was her OWN experience.

  • >Hey ST! Some of us are hopping our really expensive cars and heading out to the pumpkin patch this afternoon around 3 — if you and “baby” are looking to hang you should joiun us i am sure i can sport ya a pumpkin or two if you can’t afford it! Or if it rains we are thinking adventure science or hell maybe bellevue mall which would be closer for you –save on gas:) You down? I mean come on let us rich bitches show you awful we really can be ya know — then you could really write yourself a novel about your struggles as a modern mom in Nashville being subjected to our horribleness! ps: you did we only want open minded mothers!

  • >don’t you get tired of all of these cowards who post under anonymous

  • >The problem is ladies is that her experience is a lie. That playgroup she went to was full of the sweetest most welcoming mothers and not one of them drove an expensive car or cares. She wrote lies and that is wrong….i mean FUCKING wrong!

  • >OUCH! I can see why you didnt want to be a part of their group by reading their comments! I have tried many groups around here. One I loved, the others, ummmmm….let’s just say my experience was alot like yours! 🙂 Outsiders are usually not treated well in an already established group. Women can be so catty.

  • >Dang Lindsey…you messed with a specific mom’s club BY NAME? You’ve got cajones. Next time you might want to say something like, “My neighbor, John Smith, social security # 232-55-7825, is totally a pedophile.”These ladies are going to get you now. Seriously…your tires are going to be slashed before the day is through.Good luck, Lindsey. And if you see any snickering mamas peeping through your window..duck.

  • >I guess GH stands for gritty ho’s

  • >Well it only makes sense our members would be upset by the review Lindesay gave us. We work hard for this club. We are here to be a support and we don’t judge. While Lindesay may not have liked us others do and we are a great group of women who work hard to provide a supportive enviroment for the stay at home mom. When something you love is bashed I am sure you come out fighting as well.

  • >it is not cowardness it is laziness…my name is Angela! It is just easier to mark it anonymous. I mentioned that a few posts back. I have put HOURS into the GH MOMS to help people feel welcome and have fun and to have it lied about in print by someone who came to one event with an obvious picture of what she thinks is a women who lives in Green Hills or surrounding areas.ps: so what is so bad about the Junior League anyways? I am not familiar with the organization.

  • >gritty ho’s — pretty funny!!!

  • M

    >What is sweet to you, might not be sweet to others, ya dig?

  • >and what is offensive to some might not be to others…ST should have not named names and just said she tried some local groups….well that and TOLD THE FUCKING TRUTH!

  • >WOW! I am really amazed at the language of annonymous. But what she needs to understand is that the column reflected your personal opinion of the playgroup that day. I personally experienced your very same situation when looking for a playgroup for my daughter. I had just moved into my town and knew absolutely no one. I learned about a club called Mothers Center of the Jersey Shore. I decided let me go to a play date and meet the moms. I went and introduced myself to the president. She greeted me and introduced me to the others. They all said hello and promptly turned around and continued on thier conversation. At several moments I tried to join in. They would smile and then quickly go on as though my daughter and I did not exist. A few weeks later I found myself chatting with the president to my local MOMS club chapter at the library. She told me about the club and invited me to go to one of thier events. WHAT A DIFFERENCE!!! They were extremely welcoming and friendly. I have been in the club ever since. Of course you have a few apples in the bunch that make things a bit sour, but you get that anywhere.That MOMS Club wasnt a right fit…you are in every way entitled to write exactly how you saw it. Freedom of Speech!

  • >I do dig….but I am sweet. You should meet me. I love the Moms club and I love my kids, and I want everyone to have the support I do. I would love for any of you to check us out. We have tons of events and would love for you to come to one of them. I promise you will find someone you like.

  • >All hail freedom of speech so why does the F word just amaze you all…you know we all work VERY hard to make the GH MOMS not un-welcoming. The thing is she is lying about the playgroup that day, that is offensice to us all.

  • >Lindsay, Quoting you:“Google searches of their names turned up everything from Junior League and other chi chi Board memberships to prestigious universities and places of employment.”I’m having a hard time believing this after reading some of their comments, spelling, grammar, and punctuation? Now, come on girl, individuals that obtain this type of education are certainly familiar with spell check, no? Also, the one with the potty mouth, good lord, she is the one sending the worst messages out about the group.Leslie, however, I really see the sincerity in her comments, she seems more upset that you didn’t have a good experience and would obviously like to better the situation. She may want to address the image some of the “Mommy’s” are giving off about the group, like, ASAP. Hopefully, the majority of the members are more like her.

  • M

    >Lindsey, did Baby wear her ‘Famous in Japan’ t-shirt? Maybe that’s where you went wrong. 🙂

  • >Actually, Leslie, you all are the pretty much the first to “come out” this way. Thousands of women read this site and have for more than a year, and they’re all very civil, even when they strongly disagree with me or with other commenters. You don’t even realize what a disservice your members are doing to your group with their comments. I mean, this is seriously unprecedented (and, um, highly amusing, too, because! A real honest-to-god throwdown! AWESOME!)

  • >Yo ST – defending yourself is not a diservice. We are standing up for our club and it’s members. You said mean things about us and most specifically those girls that welcome you and your baby to that brunch and you dit it with lies! We take care of eachother and are not going to let you lie about our club or what we do. We do a lot of great things for eachother, our children, our community, and ourselves! — so throw down lindsay it’s on:) LOL love it!!!

  • >Linds, This totally calls for some new T-shirt prints!I’ll wear one!

  • >Does it just not matter that Lindsay is telling lies in her article? Or is just clouded to you all by the amazing F word?

  • >Lies? Oh, girl, please. Leslie, I’d totally come back for another visit, but I’m pretty sure that my eyes would be scratched out and my kids really need me to be able to see for carpool purposes. I did try to go to, I believe, 4 other member events, but hardly anyone (and in two cases, no one) was attending them, so believe me, I did try to give it another shot. But sparsely attended events was frankly another reason I decided membership wasn’t worth it.

  • >Hi Lindsay,Can I just first say that I’m sorry you missed the GHMC gathering at my house a few Fridays ago. I do appreciate you emailing me later and explaining why you did not come after all. It strikes me that you have a major lack of material for your column, which you must intentionally make controversial, and so you opted to attack a support group. Why don’t you go for some junior league members in AA next? C’mon Lindsay, you can do better than that. I don’t feel any members of the GHMC need to defend their economic status nor previous organizational memberships. We all support each other. You would have found the support you needed if you weren’t opportunistically looking to forwarding your writing career instead. That is sad for your and your child.Susan Yoshimura

  • >Well I am sincere, and yes my spelling and grammer suck. I am upset though, because LF named us in the paper. I work very hard for this club and to see it slandered in the media is upseting. Plus I want other moms to feel welcomed beause it is a great organization. I know some of the emails posted may seem harsh to you all, but this is an organization we feel deeply about. Lindesay never met me, she only came to one event where only 3 members were. It’s just not an accurate portrayal of our group. Those three who were there are sweet women and all so diverse. One is actually here just for a year from Japan, another has two older boys and then one young one and the other is a first time mom who judges no one because she is unsure herself. So I really can’t see how Lindesay got the impression she did, but for some reason she did. I am truly sorry she felt it was not a fit, but one meeting can hardly make her certain of that don’t you think?We love talking to eachother and bouncing ideas off eachother and better yet learning from eachother. Motherhood is damn hard and we can all use the help. So please don’t take any of this to be true, or at least don’t knock it till you try it.

  • jag

    >For the record, I’m a transplanted Bellevue-ite currently residing in the 37206 zip – if I had kids, I’d be in that Bongo group.The two Green Hills women who commented with their names in the other post made their points respectfully and well.After the third anonymous comment, I had to stop reading. I skipped over every one in this post, too. Seems like he/she is pissed about you stereotyping Green Hills, but had no problem doing the same about Bellevue. Hypocrisy, anyone?Besides, every neighborhood has it’s label. If you’re going to get offended about it, don’t talk to anyone. I embrace my neighborhood’s stereotype. I’m proud to say that I’m a gay, young, redneck, black, crack addicted, yuppie law student with a pit bull, a ’76 Pinto with hydraulics, and 3 misdemeanors on my record who drives to the one half of Bellevue Mall that still has stores in it to shop. Welcome to the East Side!(sorry, didn’t mean to delete the last one)

  • >As the sister to a single mom who recently bought a house in Bellevue, this is cracking me up. My sister graduated from Vandy (scholarship student) undergrad and grad school. Bought a condo in Green Hills where she lived for 10 years before renting in Bellevue and then (gasp) Ashland City. I’m just thankful that she plans to move to Williamson County when my nephew is older since she can’t afford private school on her own. Oddly enough, when she was still living in Green Hills, her friend who scored a Bell Meade trust fund baby accused her of being trailer park trash because she lived in Green Hills. So, I guess if I want my nephew to stand a chance in his preschool (populated by Green Hills and Belle Meade babies) I can’t take him back to that play place in the Bellevue mall?

  • >Lindesay,I am happy for the success of your blog, and am glad it gets moms talking, but why don’t you get them talking abou something productive? I mean use your power for good. I can’t make you like us, but I would have appreciated you giving us a chance before you knocked us in print! Just for arguments sake too, what if we all do drive a lexus or have a nanny, or are members of the junior league? Why would that matter, does that make us mean and crappy?I am sorry that the events you tried to go were badly attended. The summer is slow, we are just getting back in the swing of things. We have a general meeting this Friday and our speaker is on Moms mental health, so it should be a packed house. Come check it out meet some of us!

  • >I know you’re just trying to get me riled up, but nothing I wrote about in my column was a lie. Plain and simple. I changed one detail to protect the “innocent,” and that had to do with the playgroup mom who told me that the Green Hills Mom Club had a problem with cliquishness and catfighting. She actually mentioned that to me on more than one occasion over a period of months, but I didn’t want the timeline of her comments to be obvious to Green Hills Moms Club members, because I didn’t want to get her in trouble with any of you guys. Wise call, no? Otherwise, she’d probably have a few rocks through her windows by now!Everything else was exactly as I saw it. I love that the East Nashville moms took the wisecracks I made about their neighborhood with grace and good humor, while the GHMC is like, having conniption fits. I’ve already talked to a couple of people who are horrified and amused by the way you guys are coming off in these comments.Also, you guys keep telling me I should’ve “given it another chance,” but how many of us do that with anything? If we don’t like something, why would we go back? I did try, but I certainly wouldn’t expect other people to. Let’s be realistic.

  • AW

    >Maybe a moms night out would suit ya better…have a stiff one? I am not sterotyping bellevue moms or anyone that is our point we at GH MOMS are hoping to support everyone! Coexist and support eachother no matter what the zip code! I too have a pit bull, a record, a beatuful home, 2 great boys, and an attitude when it comes to people bagging and not telling the truth about my friends and fellow humans! You lied and talked shit in your article adn that is the problem! i encourage all of you to attend some of our events and see for self how much FUCKING fun and FUCKING nice we all are – ANGELA

  • >Goodness such language coming from prominent members of the JL? Scandalous…I can understand why you do not want to go back. By the comments that have been posted here, have not had a chance to read the others, I would not want to associate with them either. Keep your chin up Lindsay!!!BTW Anonymous… totaly gutless!!!

  • >Oh, about coming back….No one will scratch out your eye balls, in fact I would be your body guard. You should really come see what we are really all about. This whole thing has gotten out of control. We just put so much time and effort to this club and it sucks to see it bashed!

  • Mel

    >Good lord.I read Linday’s first article last week, but had to go back and read it again today because I was sure I had missed something. But, nope. Same old article I read last week.So, yeah. I don’t understand what the GH Moms have their panties all in a bunch for. People that read the first article (in the paper or on the blog) probably never gave your mommy’s group another thought, I know I didn’t. But after reading all your ass-hat comments and rebuttals I am now convinced that the GH mommy’s group has some crazy bitches as card carrying members. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. But, the ladies of the GH group seem to want to control what everyone else is thinking and feeling. Which is reason in and of itself to steer clear of them.(Now I will get ready for the ugliness to spew in my direction)

  • >Does anyone realize during this little smack-down, that another plane crashed into a building in Ney York? Lindsay, I had to create a blog, just to post! Ha!

  • >Sweet Jesus, why would anyone want to attend that group after reading the comments they are writing? Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Lindsay didn’t have a positive experience and it’s her right to express that, even if it’s in a newspaper article. Just as it’s another mom’s right to attend the group and form a completely different opinion.I thought the article was well written and appreciated it, as I’ve had a somewhat similar experience. I thought it was funny and a bit sarcastic, but she NEVER said anyone treated her poorly, nor did she insult anyone. Enough with the snide comments and insults. Discuss it like adults.

  • >As one of the current presidents of the club I feel like I have been nothing but polite through all this. As far trying it again, you tried for 2 years with your other group so you said. Why not try one more event with us? Can you not understand why we are upset? Would you not be upset if someone bashed something you worked hard on?

  • AW

    >I posted anonymous so i would not have to create a blog but now i have. Does that make me gutless or just lazy??? You know if someone lied about your friends and your passion in the paper you all would stand up or at least i would hope you would as fellow human beings – get each others backs or does that mean just be silent these days? Maybe that is what is wrong…peeps to afraid to speak up when LIES ARE BEING TOLD!I guess you all don’t use the F word….pretty fucking funny that it has you all pseudo open minded ladies all up in arms or rather it appears to have:)GH MOMS rule and welcome everyone…don’t knock it until you have really tried it…and if you did try it again…that is what I tell my kids about broccoli too. And if an organized club is not for you then be chill and move on – find your support else where…OR>>>>write an article about it – tell lies – and get it printed….options options options!ps the issue is SHE LIED IN THE ARICLE! THAT IS WHY WE ARE UPSET!!!

  • >OK the Trainspotting/diamonelle bit about East Nashville is the best part. I missed all this last week and am just catching up. HA!

  • >Where did you study journalism? Your fact-finding techniques seem a bit lazy. You attended one (or two) activities with the Green Hills MOMS club and met about 4 or 5 of the more than 45 members and this is what you base your article on? Shame on you.You’re inaccurate comments about the 4 or 5 members you met couldn’t have been more wrong. On top of that, your comments don’t describe the wonderful and caring moms in the entire MOMS Club at all.Household financial statements are NOT what bring us together. It’s the common desire for support and comradery among moms with young children that bring us together.In your meager fact-finding mission, did you actually ask these moms what their household incomes are? Did you ask them where they buy their clothes? Because if you had, you would receive a wide-range of responses. Some of us live in 3-room houses, buy our clothes at the consignment sales, work part-time jobs, attend school part-time, etc.As for the plastic reference, many of us rarely wear make-up which, clearly, you do.Your prejudice reminds me of those who deem a dark-haired, dark-eyed, dark-skinned person to be a terrorist.Some people who write inaccurate statements and associate actual names with those statements find themselves in a libel or defamation of character lawsuit.So, it’s a shame you couldn’t take time to get your facts right. If you had, you may have found what a great group of women AND moms we are!

  • >I just reread the article. I’m not sure I understand why you were mad about Margaret’s comment about the club being to social. Isn’t that what you don’t really like about the GH club? Am I missing something?Also, I’m having my first baby in Janurary, and am scared to death of trying to find a play group after reading all of these comments.

  • >too social. Not to social. After reading the comments about making spelling errors I thought I should fix that.

  • >April,You should check us out. We do lots of fun stuff. One great thing is that we bring meals to new moms for weeks after the birth. We have many events a week, we do service projects and if you are interested we can set you up with a playgroup. It’s a great group despite what others have said. Check us out at greenhillsmoms.com

  • >Two things 1) ya’ll are proving Lindsay’s article totally RIGHT. Rumor has it ya’ll like to catfight, and all you moms are proving her right!2) Why isn’t anyone this mad about her generalizations about East Nashville and how everyone there is trying to steal from her to fuel their crack habit?????????Hello? Too busy catfighting to see THAT?

  • >April, I wrote that Margaret said she was looking for something less social and had come to my playgroup to find it.Does that clear it up for you?Leslie, I will come back to your Moms Club. But if even ONE of you pulls my hair, it’s over! Ha!Anyway, name your date. I’m not going to argue with you ladies. It was my perception and I stand by it. But I will give you an opportunity to prove, as Angela said, “how much FUCKING fun and FUCKING nice you all are.”

  • AW

    >Call it catfighting or whatever. I call it standing up for the truth and your friends! I saw her baggin on the east nash set too…I was in all my cussing-ness defending all ya’ll:-) Can’t we all do our thing and not get written about in the paper …oops i mean lied about!ST: can’t wait to hang out! I bet our kids will have much fun!!

  • >The East Nashville playgroup mom I met who commented on the post wasn’t angry about the column at all.

  • >Great! I am glad you’ll come back! Ou membership vp will get in touch with you and give you some options of things to come to. I am looking forward to meeting you after all this, and I hope you you will get a better sense of what we are all about.

  • >You’re a lot braver than I would be right now Lindsay. There is no way I would be going back to the group.You wrote about what you experienced, obviously not what they feel their group was about, but what you felt. There’s nothing wrong with that. I understand those of you from GH who feel attacked. You don’t agree and you don’t like it. The problem is, with the exception of Leslie, you’re all proving her right. Instead of stating your case the way mature people do, you’ve attacked her writing, her looks, and cursed all over her blog. Can I come over to your house, stand in your yard and yell ‘F you’ at your door? Would that be acceptable?It’s ok to disagree, that’s part of being human. But there is a way to do it respectfully that will get you heard, and a way to do it where no one will listen to anything you have to say.

  • >Personally, I’m thankful and full of optimism that it’s not just zitty, Jr High version of my self esteem that feels this way. I loved you for it. Still do.

  • >Wow. You’re going back? Leslie sounds wonderful but Angela sounds really aggressive. Good “fucking” luck. Oh, and if you haven’t already taken a look at http://www.matchingmoms.org/, you might see what’s in your area. I met several nice moms this way when I first moved to my area, and it’s a national organization, I believe. (I just ran a couple of Nashville zips through the search engine and came up with lots of matches. Maybe there are some for your specific area.) Lemme know if that works for you. Now that my son is in kindergarten, I meet moms all the time, but Matching Moms was great when my son was a wee one.

  • AW

    >agressive….LOL LOL LOL LOL!!! That is too funny! I guess it makes one agressive if they stand up for their friends and the truth and use of the F word…LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL.

  • >I guess I don’t really understand what she meant by “less social”, and so that is why I am not understanding what bothered you about it. Maybe I need some caffeine. Also, I am begging you to not go back there. Some of them sound scary.

  • >Angela and anyone else, I am deleting all further comments claiming that I lied. That is completely ridiculous and offensive and I find it interesting that those of you who’ve made that claim weren’t actually there.Obviously, I stand behind everything I wrote, so you’re just beating a dead horse.

  • >Wow, my MOMS Club and MOMS Club International only threatened to sue me for writing about (my personal and not great) experience with them. They didn’t send their members to blather on and on with ridiculous comments. The thing I realized about my MOMS Club: it’s just not for everyone for a variety of reasons. Getting insulted is silly, not everyone clicks. So be it.

  • >This is hilarious. Lindsay, you write beautifully and I loved this piece because it reflected elements of how I felt about my mother’s group. In AUSTRALIA. We were completely different types of people, and that’s what rang true about Lindsay’s article. The sad thing about the comments is that it shows me (again) that being controversial is no longer acceptable in America. All this over a mum’s club?? Just as well the anonymous commentors aren’t running government policy. Or perhaps they are, and that’s why the world’s in such a sad mess.

  • AW

    >This is what Mugsy wrote on your blog….so if someone there says you lied. for the record mugsy does not drive a lexus nor is she a member of junior league.Mugsy said… Well, I seem to be the one deemed “Mugsy”!! WOW–that’s really all I’ve been thinking reading through all of your comments about the GHMC! I’m just so shocked at the way you have slandered this group of mothers! ya know, I actually thought you were a really nice person–I felt we carried on a really great conversation and actually felt an instant connection with you–so much for feelings, right?!! I actually recall you talking about what a bad experience you had finding a playgroup in Bellevue–and I don’t even recall a conversation about dinasour chicken nuggets! You didn’t seem to have a hard time chatting it up with everyone (all 3 of us) either–and I thought “baby” had a great time in the wagon (that was given to me by my neighbors)! Speaking of sweet “baby”, she certainly wasn’t decked out in Old Navy (a fav place of mine, by the way). I seem to remember she had on a “smocked dress that my grandmother made for me, and now I’m letting my daughter wear”. Anyway, I don’t want to get into the insults, like you so did, but just had to comment about your blog–I guess I’m just sorry you felt the way you did about a group of AWESOME people that you barely know! Oh, and for the bubble machine (that kids LOVE) you can get one at Big Lots–7 bucks!

  • AW

    >apparently our government is being run by people who jump to conclusions, judge people based on money, looks, clothes, etc. we don’t do that iat GH MOMS and we stand up for the truth! MUMS NOT THE WORD!

  • >Those Green Hills ladies really got their panties in a bunch, ay?He, he, he… I love the way you give it right back to them, without lowering yourself to their cussing, back-biting level.

  • jag

    >AW, the ‘east nash set’ has a sense of humor. We’re used to being stereotyped, I guess, because we don’t get our panties in a wad over a stereotype.

  • >1) Didn’t say Mugsy drove the Lexus2) Didn’t say Mugsy was in the Jr. League.3) Perhaps Mugsy’s response to me that she just couldn’t give her daughter those “processed” chicken nuggets of which I spoke will jar her memory? Or the offer she made to heat up some soy nuggets for Baby right there on the spot? Embarrassing! I was so embarrassed! And that exchange was in the original version, but I took it out because frankly, Mugsy would have come out looking far worse if I’d left it in.Again, Angela. This is your final warning. You seem to have some issues that have nothing to do with me. I have your IP address, your full name and your place of business and I’m asking you politely not to bother me anymore.

  • AW

    >My issues are with your story about our club I have made that clear. I have a huge sense of humor. Feel free to contact me directly anytime ST since you have my info 🙂 You are free to contact me. Why is it so wrong to you people to stand up for the truth? ps: my panties are most def not in a wad…and what is so wrong with cuss words?

  • jag

    >Not to come off like a bitch, but what is this ‘truth’ that we’re all missing and that you’re standing up for? Understandably, I may have overlooked something in the fafillion comments before this, but I have yet to figure out what AW’s point is, other than there were ‘lies’ in the article. Normally I’d let it go, but, hell, now I’ve got a lot of time invested in this dang thing.

  • >I’m wondering the same thing, Jag, but the baby’s awake and I’ve got to resume my life now.I don’t think that someone who wrote lies would so readily agree to go back to another meeting. I’m not ashamed of the opinions I formed about my experience. They are what they are. I can see that you don’t like them. I didn’t expect you to. Point taken.

  • >BTW, can I just ask one thing – isn’t this group about the kids? Lindsay, do you really want Baby to hang out with kids whose mothers are like this?

  • >The issue is that we work hard for this club, it means alot to us. We think LF depicted us incorrectly in her article. It got us upset yes, so of us are more colorful in our language and our are passionate about the club, and use cuss and whatever to defend it. The problem our club is great and she belittled it in black and white. So yes were upset, how each of us decide to explain it, is to each there own. AW is a personal bff of mine, and while you guys may find her a little agrressive she just loves our club. She has been a member for 3 years and met all kinds of moms and made great friends. She is a passionate gal. Again, I think LF had already made up her mind about us before she ever came to anything. She just got it wrong and we just wanted to set the record straight.

  • AW

    >What is it that i am saying that you are not? You are judging me now and my kids. Me and my lil dudes are A-ok. I have been given my final (and i guess my first warning by ST) so I am done. But I stand by every fucking word i wrote. Those were my pals you wrote smack about and a club I have personally poured hours into helping to maintain as have VERY dear women i am lucky to count as friends. The women at that event have spoken about what went down and it does not match what you wrote. Chicken nuggets…who knew.and my playgroup for my children it has been the experience others dream of for their kiddos. Peace out to all of you for speaking up…freedom of fucking speech is a GOOD thing! I will sleep well tonight as I hope you all do:)ps: ST would love to hang sometime and see if we can’t broaden your opinoins of our little MOTHER FUCKING MOMS CLUB!! Yeeeehaw……..and I am out.

  • >Ugh. This kind of back-and-forth is what puts people off meeting new people. It’s so damn difficult as it is. Then people start in with the perceptions and judgements and catty, back-stabbing attitudes. But that’s any social group. Not just this mom’s club. It’s happened in a sport club I was a member of. So I stopped going. Oh well. I’ll find something else. It’s not like it’s life-or-death, Crips vs. Bloods. I don’t have the time or the energy to waste trying to ‘play the game’ that someone wants me to play so I can fit in. This might also explain why I have approximately 5 friends and I avoid PTA meetings like the plague. I don’t think anyone has done anything except state their opinions, of which I’m sure no one is going to change based on reading what’s been commented here. Doesn’t anyone have a kid that needs a diaper changing?

  • >This has all gotten out of hand. I know Angela, and she is very nice. She is speaking from her heart and defending a group that she has worked very hard at. People are taking her comments the wrong way.As a member of the GH moms club it is offensive to read Lindsey’s article and be stereotyped into something that we are not. It is obvious that it is Lindsey’s opinion from a one time meeting of 3 people from the group. The people who were at the brunch have all said they thought Lindsey seemed very nice and were hoping she would join our group. When you put yourself out there and open your home to someone, it really feels like a slap in the face to read an article like Lindsey wrote. I think Lindsey was trying to be funny, but it really came across as hurtful to the people in our group. If I just read that article she wrote, I wouldn’t want to join the group either. The outrage stems from the fact that she is portraying the group as a bunch of social climbers which is very far from the truth. I joined the group a year ago when my son was 1 and I have met a lot of great friends through it. My son enjoys all of the kids he has met and I am thankful to have found a group to spend my, could have been lonely, mama days with. The point is that we as moms are not obligated to support each other no matter what and that is not what the group is angry about. The thing that is offensive is that she took one situation and then stereotyped a whole group in such a way that she has scared other moms away. To set the record straight for anyone who is looking to find other moms and kids to have fun with, we are a very welcoming group and don’t care about what you feed your kids, what kind of car you drive, what school you did or did not graduate from, where you worked or work now, if you are in Junior League or not, and certainly not whether you wear Old Navy. I have met a wonderful group of women and kids through this group and hope that if anyone is looking for this kind of support and fun, they will check out our group and make up their own mind. I’m sure the group is not for everyone, but we are certainly not discriminatory as Lindsey implies in her article. The one thing she got right is that we are “social”. We like to have fun together and so do our kids. Isn’t that the point of a, “play”group?

  • >There is a difference between passion and flat out rudeness. There is a difference between defending yourself and something you love, and being disrespectful to not only LF, but every one else here. AW- she stated flat out in this post that you were free to state your opinion but to please refrain from using foul language and insults to get your point across. You were asked to stop already. Instead of making your point, you have completely turned off people who may have otherwise been willing to listen to your side of things. It’s incredibly difficult to believe anything you have to say when all you can say is it’s all “f’ing” lies. Especially when YOU WERE NOT THERE. Especially when you are repeatedly ignoring requests to to stop with the insults and swearing. What part of that are you NOT understanding?

  • >Sheesh, after reading Anonymous Angela’s comments, I’d be embarassed to be a member of that club. She needs to use spell check and check her grammar as well as tone the language down.

  • >Hugs! Wow, I love reading your blog. It’s really become one of my favorite things to do, but I’m a dedicated lurker and hardly ever comment.Also, I write smut and have become accustomed to slander both on my blog and off, so I keep a low profile in cyberspace and on the playground.But I had to write to say ‘let it roll off your back’! People who spew so much hate (not to mention use poor grammar and cuss words on a mommy blog) are not worth the mental angst. More hugs! (and poo to those who used ‘baby’s’ name in parathensis that practically radiated evil sarcasm. Shame on you…she’s a baby jerks!)Anna

  • >wow. as a women on the flip side of this arguement (i’m one of the e.nashville ladies lindsey met at our playgroup) i have to say i am appalled that people from green hills are reacting this way – appalled but not entirely suprised.. not to get in an east side-west side brawl but COME ON! you mean to tell me that those of you in green hills aren’t aware of the persona you put out the rest of nashville?? i used to live there myself, for three years, with two kids and never felt more out of place in my entire life.. it is not good nor bad – i didn’t fit there and was not altogether welcomed due to my lack of income and my usual appearance as an overworked and underdressed mother. not admitting to yourself that you have a certain “way” about the parenting and social scene that you are a part of is a bit absurd.. it would be like me getting offended that lindsey made reference to the fact that there were more homeless people around than not and that she was concerned about getting mugged.. sure, it is never fun hearing the way others see us but for the most part it is true. and we kids over here in east nashville aren’t delusional enough to pretend that our neighborhood still has a way to go and that we aren’t who we are and that we aren’t seen, by the rest of nashville, as weird artists and crazies who endanger our kids every day by living in this “ghetto” (we like to call it home, but i have heard plenty of folks refer to it as such)…. and to be honest, since we are around it everyday, we are accustomed to it – much like people in green hills are probably so accustomed to the ways over there that when someone calls them on it, they are shocked because they don’t realize what they are a part of nor do they see the error in it.. my point is this: YES we are all struggling to find a place, as mothers, where we belong and some of us have found it.. i don’t think it breaks down to zip codes but there is some truth in what lindsey wrote.. and bottom line, it was her experience, not YOURS. thank god you have found a place that you fit in. it’s not so easy for everyone. to write back and call names, curse like a madwoman and basically make yourself look like an utter douchbag does nothing more than prove her point.

  • AW

    >Funny it seems perfectly ok for you all to use fowl langauage and insult me but i can’t defend our club.I live in a nhood in renovation…aka the ghetto so don’t front. You all make the zip code thing an issue…green hills, richland, slyvan park — please pretty diverse!We know the sterotype and try really hard to be the opposite becuase sterotypes just alienate people and no mom needs that! that is exactly what was so insulting about her artivcle. The wild oats crowd? The wear anything but old navy? That could not be farther from the truth and closer to the steroptype than saying all dark people are terrorists. So I don’t type as well as you others…so what? See i refrained from so f-ing what! I mean come on ladies. we all love our children and want to have friends. Why spew such banter in a paper about people you don’t know after one playdate. And I swear i know most of you would be offended and want your friends to defend if you someone wrote that you all basically are rich, food snobs, etc.

  • >Okay wow.You started, like, a fight.I tried to quit my mom’s club, and the newcomer member e-mailed me and told me to come back. THAT clearly isn’t going to happen with you.

  • >Somewhere along the line, somebody said it: CHILL OUT, people. This is not life and death. This is opinion. Hold yours, let others hold theirs. Count to 10, too.

  • >sorry.. i just read all the earlier comments and realized i beat a dead horse a bit..ultimately I agree with oldhorsetailsnake. we’re just talking about playgroups here.. yikes…. not everyone’s realities and experiences are the same.. the lovely thing is that there is someone in our community who is willing to put hers out there..

  • >Speaking as a mother and woman from another country, the GH mothers all look like twits, including the supposedly nice ones who can’t manage to stop begging you to go to a social club you didn’t enjoy. Dissent is something not tolerated by the Stepford moms. How fantastically insignificant this matter is!Lindsey, it’s so obvious that you were right about the group. And, did that one woman say they had membership vps?! For a playgroup?! What kind of nutjobs are these?

  • >Ok, well I don’t use “fowl” language as I’m not of the feathered varity but I have been known to drop the f-bomb now and again. Even in front of my children when I’m not thinking! Eeek.But when I use it in writing I try to use it sparingly so it has the effect I want it to. Saying fuck simply because you can puts you on a par with my teenager – you’re trying hard to be shocking and cool but all you’re really doing is coming across as immature. And boring.Wow Lindsay, this is more controversial, and ugly, than the back and forth with the glitz pagaents. What have you done?I fail to understand how Lindsay could’ve “lied” when what she was doing was stating how she felt via her observations. Two people can attend the same event, witness the same event, and leave with two very different stories because they perceive it differently. They’re not lying, they’re telling it how they saw it. Accept that she has a different view from yourself, aw, and move on.Not everyone is a perfect fit with everyone else, no matter how much we may want to be. And thank goodness for that, or else we’d all be very bored with each other inside of a week. I thought Lindsay did a good, and humorous, job of bringing home the struggle that all of us – mothers, or just as people – feel when trying to find a new home. We feel we should fit in everywhere and blame ourselves when we don’t.Keep it up, Lindsay! As my fathe would’ve said, don’t let the turkeys get you down.

  • >Well, I have to say this is about as good a train wreck as I’ve seen in a long time. ST writes a witty, apropos opinion piece about the trouble with fitting in, and the club with clout revolts.For the record, some of the complainants have not understood terms: slander refers to speech not the written word, that would be liable; there is a difference between an article, and op/ed piece and a column, the latter of which I would assume ST’s writing falls under; One person’s opinion is likely to rub up against another person’s, so to accuse another of LYING isn’t really germain; and finally, as a point of effectiveness, if you really wanted to defend your honor you might think twice about selling going on the attack with curse words and personal slams. Saying that ST is amaturish is just childish, folks. And while I think that dropping F bombs every fourth word simply entitles people to stop listening to (or in this case reading) your opinions, I’m at peace with it.On the other hand, ST did come to you )and your group) with the idea of writing about her experiences, afterall that is what she does. (I think she’d have found something wonderful and funny to say had she enjoyed herself immensely, but that’s my opinion.) But she did open herself up to critism, and you are right to let her have it … so long as you realize you are increasing her chache by making spectacles of yourselves (with the exception of Leslie), I’d say everyone wins.

  • >Please allow me to share my personal experience with the Mom’s Club of Green Hills. I joined the club when I was 8 months pregnant with my first son, Alexander. I had just quit working and most of my friends were single and childless. I hoped to find a group where I could make a few friends and give my son a chance to mingle with other kids. When my son was born, the club arranged to bring me and my husband meals for two weeks, a very welcome perk of being in the club. Several members called me to offer advice, baby clothes, and encouragement. When I thought I would go stir crazy staying in the house with a newborn, I joined a playgroup. The group, at that point, was primarily for me. We exchanged tips and stories on feeding, naps, husbands, recipes and more. None of us knew each other before joining the group but became bonded though the one thing that we knew that we had in common. Motherhood. I could end here by just saying that the people that I have met in Mom’s club have been great. But my story doesn’t end here. Nine weeks ago tomorrow, my second son, Matthew, was born. Matthew’s birth was a miracle. His death was a tragedy. I lost my baby to complications of Edward’s syndrome after only getting to spend two and a half hours with him. The outpouring of support that I received from the mom’s club is why I am typing this response. Not one person stopped to ask me how big my house was or what other organizations that I’m involved with. They were just there for me and my family. That’s what the Mom’s Club of Green Hills is all about. We’re not about fancy cars or income status. We’re about friendship and support. I’m not angry about your article or blog, I’m just sad. I wish that you could have opened your eyes a little wider. If you could have looked past exterior appearances to see what is inside us, you would have found that our hearts are not all that different from yours. I doubt that you’ll try visiting again but I would be glad to stand next to Leslie if you need any defending.

  • >Ann, I am sorry for your loss, and happy you found comfort in a mother’s group. I am also heartend to hear such community outreach still occurs.This is the kind of response that sets the record straight, not all the swearing and name-calling.

  • >I’ve had a not so good experience with this group before. My SIL is a member. I, however, am not. I attended a birthday party for my niece that was full of moms from the group. While none of them were ugly or mean to me, not one of them talked to me or even acknowledged me the entire time. It was a pretty miserable time for me.I felt very out of place. My kid had a good time though so I guess that is what counts. It did make me reluctant to try out ANY moms group. I’ve yet to try one.

  • >Welcome to the jungle… we’ve got fun and games! haha! Wow, Lindsay, who knew your opinion could start an East meets West side brawl? MOMS clubs aren’t for everybody. I’ve belonged to two. One was filled with scandalously rich, odd, fire-breathing women and the other was filled with scandalously rich, kind, and philanthropic minded women. Depended on my mood which one I preferred. :)But my daughter loved both.

  • >Rock on, Lindsey. Your courage is to be admired.

  • >Lindesay, I am so surprised and disappointed that you had this experience. If you are still interested in forming bonds with other mothers and providing your child with a fantastic variety of socializing opportunities, I encourage you to give this “club” another chance. The MOM’s club of Green Hills is not a wealthy exclusive group. It is an all-inclusive group. We have members and children from many socio-economic, religious, and ethnic backgrounds. I must confess that I am a memeber of the JLN – and proud of the work we do – but think I am the only MOMS member who is. If you were not welcomed with open arms, I do appologize, I hope that you will give it another try – or at the very least – encourage your readers to see for themsleves.Kira Member since 2004 and working mother of 2 boys

  • >WOW!!!!! OMG!!!! I read the angry comments you rec’d from your original post and man, THAT IS EXACTLY the reason why I don’t do playgroups! As a woman/mother, I don’t feel that I need to support other women/mothers who are not nice to me in playgroups. I don’t need to object my kids to these negative vibes. Life is too short for this. And man, that anonymous person needs to chill. Even my hubbie thinks you’re a great writer, so keep on with the great stuff. You make me laugh every time!

  • >I’ve told Leslie I will totally come to another meeting- as a chance for you all to show me how nice and fun and welcoming you really are, not to argue with me or call me names in person. I had an opinion on my experience and it is what it is- I don’t expect you all to agree with it- if you did, that would be really sad that you were paying dues- but do me the courtesy of respecting my opinion as well.

  • >Angela, I’ve asked you to stop commenting once. You cannot dominate the comments section. You’ve made your point known. You’re done.

  • >This is RETARDED. Up here, I lovingly refer to them as the B.B.B. Have you read my posts on them? Mom’s clubs are so NOT about the kids social options…..they are WAY more about status, etc, and no matter how many i’ve joined, they’ve all been the same. Growing up I wasn’t in a ‘playgroup’….kids don’t need organized play with like minded beige parents running the show. They need mud puddles. Lollipops they might choke on. Dirty fingernails, and lots of playdoh. They can argue all they want, the proof is in the pudding.

  • >You are who you are, you feel what you feel, and that is that. Let them huff and puff all they want. They’re entitled to their opinons, and you, yours.

  • ang

    >lol Lindsey I would start training your dog in attack commands. Some of these women sound down right crazy. If you get any threatning letters in the mail with everything spelled wrong atleast you will know who it was! I personally think that it is admirable you would even think of going back but I wouldnt subject yourself or baby to that again. Your way to good for them.

  • >That was funny. I love how women get all caddy and up in arms about play groups. I have worked in Greenwich,CT as a nanny and I have been to a few of these groups.It’s like being trapped in highschool. Only this time its trying to be cool over brands of diapers and SUV’s. My hat is off to you for writting that article. To all Mom groups. Relax, enjoy your group, and your kids its not for everyone.

  • >Stating an opinion is one thing.To pass it on to a vast mass (yes, Lindsay does has a vast mass of readers) as the only opinion on this subject on the Nashville Scene with no responses printed…that could bordering on slander. Lindsay does have her point of view and that is fine for those who also read her blog. I think the Nashville Scene should give Lindsay more room and publish the responses in print not just on line. How about Nashville is Talking too! I thought it funny about the comparison of GH and pageant responses. I thought it would have been the other way around. I respect Lindsay as a mother and someone out there willing to try new experiences while passing on her experiences to us. Isn’t it great that we live in a place we can all have different opinions and experiences? I would advise anyone wishing to respond in favor of their opinion to do it respectfully and without words you would not use in front of little children at church. Do I have to add “in front of God or your priest/reveren/Gandhi” or whom ever holds your respect and honor?

  • >Holy crap. This is nuts. Totally nuts.I live in Bellevue. I’m a mom. I don’t belong to any clubs for moms.Lindsay published her experience, in a column that’s intended to be humorous. It isn’t investgative journalism. It’s a funny piece about playgroup politics. I’ve been reading here for years and I’ve witnessed Lindsay post on any number of controversial issues. I am proud of my fellow bloggers that NEVER has the comment section deteriorated into this kind of throw down. I’m embarassed for Nashville that a few vocal Green Hills moms have been so incredibly bitchy.You ladies seem to have a lot of time and energy on your hands to defend “something you’ve worked so hard for.” May I suggest that you take up a MORE IMPORTANT CA– USE, like, say, healthcare for underserved populations, or improvement of public schools, or something, ANYTHING, bigger than yourselves.You might find that there are plenty of real issues to get pissed off about.P.S. I created a blogger account to post this comment (anaonymous comments are no longer allowed due to the disrespect that’s been shown), but I blog at http://sittingstill.typepad.com.

  • >Good God, it’s like seventh grade all over again.I enjoyed your article Lindsay, as I’ve found the same sort of cattiness and cliques even way up north here in Canada. (okay, but it’s never gone that far)All that the comments have done is make the women look worse then your article ever could have. You’re brave, I wouldn’t be going back there. Ever.

  • >As a junior league dropout, why does this not surprise me?

  • >Wow. Suburban Turmoil is a fun place. It’s humor. The ladies at GHMC may be upset over being mentioned. The outpouring of bile from a member or two is, as you pointed out, far more cantankerous than the Pageant Moms.Leslie and Angela need to learn about the proper form of discourse here. They are unable to understand the perception we have of them based on their speech here. I would imagine that blind spot persists in the ‘real world’

  • >Wow… these moms really want you to like them, join them, love them. You should feel honored!! 🙂

  • >Wow. Just…wow. I read the comments from your previous post and doesn’t it seem like some of those haughty Mom’s Club members are vicitims of the “no child left behind” program? The…errr…grammar, or lack thereof. The poor sentence structure rendering their insults completely ineffective. Just priceless.

  • >Wow. As an outsider looking in, I wouldn’t go back. Seriously. Even if she was “speaking from her heart and is really a nice person”, Angela portrayed herself as being completely unstable. I would be afraid of what she would do. You cannot make me believe that group of women would welcome you with open arms. Sure, there would be a couple, but by the anger expressed in some of these posts…I just can’t see people being warm and inviting to you.

  • Meg

    >Wow!This is exactly why I did not join a local MOMS club when I moved from Minneapolis to Milwaukee. My experiences with the Minneapolis suburban MOMS club were just as you described, Lindsay. The website for that group says it’s for stay-at-home moms, but working in retail management I had 3 days a week when I was at home with my daughter and I wanted to find a group for us to socialise and play with. Well, since I wasn’t a full-time stay-at-home, big house living, minivan driving, latte sipping, Ann Taylor wearing, Prada carrying Mom, I was horribly out of place. No matter what was posted on their website or in their forums about accepting everyone with open arms, there was a definite cliquishness about them, and a desire to only have like-minded, like-$$$ mothers in that group. While the kids played, the mothers chatted about their husband’s next bonus and what they’d buy with it. About how their neighbor was trying to upstage them by hiring designers for Christmas decorations. About how their older child had this nice, smart friend, but WHAT were her parents thinking letting her shop at Urban Outfitters?!?!It was too much for me! That group (and I did go to about a dozen get togethers before I couldn’t take it anymore) left a very bitter taste in my mouth, and made me feel that what I was giving my daughter just wasn’t enough. And that’s wrong. I’m sure there are decent MOMS clubs out there, but the comments here combined with my experiences gives me the impression that they’re trying to reform the “cool kids clique” from high school, just with kids. You’re a brave woman to go back, Lindsay! I’d rather take a sharp stick in the eye!Meg

  • >oh man. All this, and most specifically Angela and the other GH responders, is exactly why I’m glad I live in the middle of nowhere and feel absolutely no desire to go outa my way to hang with playgroups. Of which i’m sure there’s some here somewhere. It’s so Jr. High. Some people never get over it.Rock on ST – your a braver woman then I. Heh.

  • >This is great. Hell hath no fury like a soccer mom scorned. I looked at their website, based on that and their comments they sound like Stepford Moms. Join us, join us…enjoy some Kool-Aid while you here.What is this overwhelming need people have to belong to a group?And while I’m at it, what the hell is a “play date”? There wasn’t a gayer term available?

  • >OY. Okay, first off I am NOT the mean Jodi who commented on the comments that you linked. I would rather die than attend a play group and I’m not kidding. ALso, these women need to get over themselves already. Good Lawd. They have WAY WAY WAY too much time on their hands in my opinion.

  • >Holy Crap! I was looking over the moms comments and someone actually said “and to think I was going to contact you about your sticky bun recipe”. If I was drinking something it would have shot out my nose. OMG that’s funny! If you have to ask why it is, you just don’t get it.

  • >I’m with ya. They are only making THEMSELVES look bad by bashing you. You gave your opinion, and now they are pissed off about it, and going to bash you personally.This is why I am not in a mom’s group anymore. Too much petty shit, drama and politics going on.Ignore them. They’ll eventually move on to something else to gossip about! Wouldn’t it be awesome to be a “fly on the wall” of their next playdate?? GAWD, can you imagine what they’ll be saying? ROFLMAO

  • Meg

    >”Are we as moms obligated to support each other, no matter what? Or is there a benefit to being honest about our feelings, even when they aren’t warm and fuzzy?”I just reread your post and wanted to give my opinion, even if the comments have been focused more on the reaction to the GHMC replies. :)No, we’re not. Yes, there is.I think the ideal of supporting all other moms no matter what is great, but we’re not all living in HappyKittyRainbowPuppy Land here. I don’t get along well with most other mothers. I have a small group of moms from my daughters’ school that I get along with – they have similar parenting values and our kids are friends. My girls have other friends who’s mothers I can’t stand. Thus, we have little interaction with them outside of school. I look at how I want to raise my daughters and how I’m doing so far (pretty good, but certainly not “perfect”) and I guess I just don’t want to be around mothers or kids who’s lifestyle totally contradicts mine. Know what I mean? I really don’t want to sound snobbish with this, because I don’t think I’m that kind of person and I know other parents might have issues with my parenting style as well. ;)It’s a hard balance. As a parent, you want your kids to have a well-rounded social life and you want a bit of one for yourself, too. But you can’t go against what you feel is good for your family to do so, either. Some of these kids are really good kids, I just don’t care for the parents. *shrug* I solve that by inviting them over here to play and letting the mom/dad know that they can feel free to run errands or something. :DProbably one of the hardest things I had to do was cut off a “friendship” with the mom of my daughter’s classmate. She found out that I was adept at home improvement projects and asked for advice on everything. I’d normally not mind, but she was doing all this herself, under her husband’s orders, he gave her no help and complained if she didn’t have things done by the time he got home from work. The final straw was being called at 11 pm on a school night when their hot water heater started leaking. She called me to find out how to shut it off and the husband was in the background shouting questions. I told her I couldn’t help her, I wasn’t happy being called so late, and if her hubby wanted all this done, he should either help her or hire a contractor. It made me feel like crap, but I just couldn’t support her while so strongly disapproving of her role in that house. Again, no. I don’t think we as mothers have to give blanket support to other mothers just because we’ve all given birth. You don’t always need to be blunt while making your…feelings clear, but there are certainly times when it’s appropriate and necessary. Meg

  • KK

    >Let me see if I get this. Lindsey didn’t feel like she fit into a group and said so. Now the group is mad at her for saying she didn’t fit. Wow.You all don’t like eachother. It’s really okay not to like everyone or fit in with everyone. Put on your big girl panties and build a bridge and get over it.irf

  • >(Here’s the “F” word for you – Fucking Blogger just ate my carefully measured response.)I think what gets lost in the shuffle here is that Lindsay’s piece was a humorous opinion piece, and she’s made it quite clear that it was her personal experience. Just like in any group situation, you have different personalities. The key thing is to find people that you individually click with, and just like so many of the commenters, LF didn’t experience that at GH. So what? I thought the point of the column was that it is hard to be a mom, it is hard to make deeper friendships, that you have to start somewhere, and that there are plenty of women out there who you may not click with. So, you keep trying.And from the comments, I’ve learned that Leslie sounds like a great club president. And that these clubs can provide an enormous amount of companionship and comfort to some moms. And that too much drama is a big reason I never joined any organized playgroups. To each her own, you know?

  • >For the love of T. Berry Brazleton…why is a playgroup so important? This is why I’m glad I’m something of a loner. If I get together with a bunch of grownups, I sho as hell don’t want to talk chicken nuggets or nipple shields. It must be about me!Oh Lindsay, dahlin…thank you for the laugh today. This is grand. I can just picture you there with the GH mammies. HA!

  • Mir

    >I’m a fan, L, but I have to agree that naming them was asking for it, and a bit underhanded. But I have a feeling you knew that before you posted this. I’m not surprised your experience was bad. Women in general are clique-ish, even when there is a common interest. I recently attended an exercise group where you pay out the ass to take your kids and your stroller to a public place and “socialize” with other exercise-conscious moms. It was terrible. Those women put forth effort to be unsocial. I’ve been lucky enough to find a great mommy group that I love, and even then, we have our catty moments and snide remarks. I do believe that any social group comprised entirely of women is going to have these problems though. The real battle is finding a group where they act like women only 20% of the time and mommies 80% of the time rather than vice versa. Good luck!

  • >My favorite part of this whole thing was Angela defending herself by insisting that she’s not stupid, just lazy. Didn’t anyone ever tell her that it’s stupid to be lazy?

  • >man-o-man…mind boggling; isn’t it? Lindsey, started reading your blog here in Austin, Texas when a friend turned me on to the Glitz drama. I have no children but can totally relate to what you have to say. The plastic people are invading here. Firstly, I couldn’t help but think of the JDate story with Angela’s behavior. Sounds like poor Angela has the same social problems he does. http://prdifferently.typepad.com/my_weblog/2006/07/how_not_to_act_.htmlSecondly, if you go back again you won’t get an honest sense of the momclub, good or bad, as they will most assuredly be on their “best behavior”(like a kid a few days before Christmas…) and in “full force”. Yet, I can’t help but wonder if the stereotype won’t shine through.

  • >bummer the link didn’t come out.for those that care, go to google and type:PR. Differently: How Not to Act on J-Datepretty amuzing reading

  • >”For the love of T. Berry Brazleton”THAT is great! LOL

  • >It’s okay. I’ll still be your friend (even if you don’t like the fact that I put fake eyelashes on my kid every now & then!!!) I don’t fit in with the gap-khaki “mom-op-olies” very well either. Wouldn’t it be great if we were all like little kids? My son and I went to a gathering once and a kid came up to him and said “Hi I’m 6 how old are you?” my son said “I’m 6 too” and they played together marvelously the rest of the evening….

  • >Pageant Mom, that means a lot coming from you. I am a total believer that we can have our differences and still get along. Group hug!

  • >You’ll look back on this whole Mom’s Club dealio fondly once you’re dragged into the collective nightmare that is the PTO.

  • >Good hell!Gosh, I can’t imagine why someone wouldn’t want to belong to this certain Mom’s Club. I think Angela has done her group a far worse disservice than you could have ever possibly done. As we used to say back in high school- that beeyotch needs to pop a Midol!

  • >Lindsay,I just want to point out that eventhough this MOMS Club is called the Green Hills MOMS club, there are very few moms in this club who actually live in Green Hills. They live in places like Sylvan Park, Brentwood, Antioch, Belmont, Franklin (and other neighborhoods I may be leaving out.) It’s not fair to lump 45+ women into one stereotype. They all drive different cars, shop at different stores, live in different houses, eat different foods and have different household incomes. The only thing in common with the gals in this group is that they are all moms with young children who enjoy hanging out together occasionally. I just wish that you could have written this more accurate description of the Green Hills MOMS Club. It sounds like your “beef” is with the residents of Green Hills. If you really dislike Green Hills residents and want others to as well, then write about Green Hills residents. I just don’t understand what the Green Hills MOMS Club ever did to you or anyone else to deserve such negative treatment. If you didn’t enjoy the 4 people you met at the one MOMS Club activity you attended, all you had to do was just not go back. To write an entire article about a 2-hour meeting with 4 moms in a MOMS club seems odd.Oh well. I know you’re already onto your next topic and finished with this one. I’ve just been too busy since yesterday afternoon to make this comment and wanted to do so now.Thanks,Vickie

  • >Vickie, I’m glad you wrote. That’s why I wrote this post. I’ve been surprised that so many Green Hills members used it as an opportunity to curse me out/insult me. That was unprecedented here and I hate for you that your group will be remembered for it, when I was trying to give you a forum to say more positive things. Some of you have complained that I should’ve met every member and that meeting four wasn’t enough- But there were four East Nashville moms in the group I met (although many more than that get together over there) and there are five other Bellevue moms in my playgroup (although we’ve had lots of different women come and go over the years), so the Green Hills group was no different from all the others I’ve attended. I think I’ve said before that I tried four different times (if not more- I haven’t gone back through my e-mails) to attend MOMS Club events and couldn’t find anything that more than a handful of people were going to. Very few moms are going to give it more effort than I did. I think that Lisa (one of the East Nashville moms) said it really well when she said that every neighborhood in Nashville has its stereotypes. You all definitely played into some of yours that day, just as Lisa’s group played into some of theirs. Read this blog and my previous columns. I make fun of Bellevue (and myself living in Bellevue) all the time. I poked fun at the very real stereotypes that many of us have about Green Hills AND Bellevue AND East Nashville and how all of us play into them. And trust me, there are many, many women out there who want to join your group BECA– USE of them.

  • >hmmm… thought about trying this play group thing but everyone around here is a luxury- truck- driving- come- to- jesus nutball who cares too much about their freakin’ label identities. Thanks for reminding me what we’re not missing!ps my daughter likes to have chicken-product nuggets with her no-BGH organic milk and organic steamed green beans too. keep yer head up.

  • kfk

    >Lindsay, really, why waste your time?

  • >Wow, you got some straight up bitches on your hands. I don’t think it matters if they drive Lexus or a hunkojunk… they’re obviously not women you would want to bother associating yourself with.Bitches. BITCHES.*giggle*

  • >Wow. This is amazing. My advice, ST, is to stick to more peaceful topics. Like you should totally explain why both the SAHM or WOHM are horrible choices. Or how homeschoolers are damaging their kids. Or public schoolers. And how spanking molds character. And is child abuse.I think you get an award for “Bravest Mommy Ever” going back. Because there is no way I’d go back, after the socially unacceptable language displayed on your blog. (Blogs are public, and my mom & aunt, sustainers in the Junior League, would like to wash some mouths out with soap. And not with Palmolive, with Dial.)

  • >I have not checked in with you in a while and I must say after reading this thread I am disappointed. It sounds like it might be more an issue with your own “Jr. League” mom than with the women who invited you to their group? You are a talented writer. You don’t need to resort to this kind of thing to bump up your readership. You seem like a good, loving (hilarious) person. This kind of thing really is beneath you. Too bad so much energy was wasted on both sides.

  • >Wow Lindsay, you’re going back? You’re a better woman than I. If I had so many women be so rude over a little story telling my personal opinion, there’s no way I’d waste my time going back.Ladies, first impressions are important. It looks like most of your second impressions (through heated blog comments) were worse than the first. Insulting a woman isn’t a way to get her to come back and write nice things about you.

  • >Hi Lindsey-I am sorry you had a bad experience with the GHMC, and I hope the next meeting with them is more succeessful. I think your posts are very funny. (Sometimes it’s more difficult to see the humor when it’s about oneself.Ones’ self?)I was really lucky to find a wonderful moms club in LA. And when we moved here, I found a few dear friends. I wish the same for you in Nashville!

  • >Huh.”Suburban Turmoil”.I guess some people may not “get it.” Ha-ha!(I did Google GH Moms, and found an article about one with a child named “Bitsy”. I wouldn’t associate with anyone like that, either!)

  • >L…or ST as you are now called, you are brilliant. Truly. I am in awe.

  • >Oh Lindsay! I am just now catching up on all the drama!You know, the Tiny Kingdom is very much like Green Hills, and has the associated stereotypes. I make fun of the TK in my blog although I grew up here. I try to emphasize that I’m laughing at myself. My most controversial post was about our “dance clubs” (no dancing; really drinking) where I criticized a rule change, but ended up making myself look like the bad guy for getting sucked into it.Those who are WAY into the TK social scene totally could not see that the column was written to make them look reasonable and to make me look unreasonable, etc. All they could see was that their CLUB had been ATTACKED and all hell broke loose.One member and her friends still avoid me and this was a couple of years ago.I guess my theme is been there, done that. There are members of the dance club I love, and members I do not. Most are in the Junior League, many drive fancier cars than I do. But that has nothing to do with why I like or dislike them. It’s just that as a writer, a Lexus and membership in certain clubs can describe some people when they fit the stereotype they represent, if that makes sense.Anyway, loved the column.

  • >OK Lindsey (ST-now that’s just wrong!) So, my service goes down for awhile and look at the mess you have gotten yourself into…Do you need a ((HUG))-Your experiance sounds very much like my experiance with my local Mothers club- It seems to be a very common acurrence-Sad,but true- You are amazing sista! and don’t you ever stop doing what you do- because you are brilliant and talented.PS- doesn’t GH stand for General Hospital? Daytime drama? Apparently so…Take care of yourself-Love from SLO, Momslo

  • >wow… I’m here a little late in the game, but have some experience w/ Green Hills since I went to college in that area.. My experience with ALL moms clubs has been extremely negative, but that probably reflects more on me than it does on them.. I’ll have to admit, I found it rather amusing that the GHM’s will say “fucking” in their comments, but then are all offended by your take on your experience. I seriously try not to throw out the word “Fucking” if I am trying to make my organization seem more highbrow. go figure.come on up to the ‘boro, Lindsay, we can create our own little moms club..

  • >You’re not alone nor is your group unique. I have tried every mom club out there from the religious, to the “crunchy granola” to the yuppie to the yokel to the “punky” to the pagan. It doesn’t seem to matter. Everywhere you go the mothers are overly sensitive, judgemental and clique-prone. It is like being the new girl in middle school! Who likes that feeling? You’re not alone. Let the kind play with random kids at the park and preschool/whatever. Then, for your social enjoyment take up a hobby or volunteer work that have NOTHING to do with parenting. You will thank yourself! Most “mothers” in the mommy groups are a pain more than a prize. Besides, I don’t see any “dad’s groups out there. You know why? Being a parent means you have exactly 0% in common other than you apparently gave birth at some point–that doesn’t mean much socially! It isn’t a lot of common ground AT ALL. Good luck, hon’…you’re not wrong at all.

  • >Ok i so do not know how on earth i got here..(this BLOG) I am looking around nashville right oh and there is no grammer in internet as far as iam concerned. (LOL) am i labled now before i ever geet started ok .. Topic .. i am moving to nashville i am getting a divorce and looking to start anew but i think another prozac would be in order for me (gulp) will we be excepted if i choose the wrong area are my children to old to join the group and my hair i wear jeans all the time an sometimes i have been known to stay in pjs all DAY of course i want to at least live in a good nighborhood but i havent worked in forever and now i have to get a job but will the job be exceptable omg total torment and i just got started i feel … well give me 20 (gulp) .. any comment on (ALL THIS WOW)

  • >Really, is THIS the most important thing anyone has to talk about? That, in itself, is telling…

  • >Hey! I guess in NY, where I live, we are just too unorganized to develop a mom’s club. We just get together with random moms we meet at the 3 year olds first dance class, the mommy and me swim class or from that bizarre German day care center we choose to send our kids to. For me, because I am a selfish mom–the group of moms that I choose to hang with are those who #1–drink, #2 do NOT take parenting as all encompassing enterprise, #3 anyone who is funny. If the mom fits my criteria and accepts me–the kids just have to get a long…because…the mommies are drinking, OF COURSE. Frankly–I would say– screw the moms’s club. Life is too short to go through Middle School one more time. HD from NY

  • >I was thinking about finding the buddy and myself a moms group but holy psycho hose beast Batman! I think instead we will chill in the bat cave safe from those who have too much time on their hands.