>”I’ve come to the realization that you spend at least two hours a day standing in front of the refrigerator.” My 16-year-old looked over at me, her face illuminated by the eerie glow of the Frigidaire light. I swear she’s worn two tiny grooves into the kitchen floor from where her feet stay planted before […]

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November 21, 2006

>The Cold War

>If you haven’t already read the news, I broke my foot. Now I’m laid up on the sofa, with my 16-year-old acting as Nanny-for-the-Day. It’s 10:02 and already, I’m bored out of my mind. Because I don’t do sitting. Ever. So in an effort to cripple (get it? Cripple?!) the readership of this blog, I […]

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November 20, 2006

>Liveblogging My Broken Foot or The Worst Blog Post of All Time

>I broke my foot. Oh, yes. I broke my foot. Ghost hunting. How lame is that? Literally? For my stepdaughter’s 16th birthday party, we rented out a haunted bed and breakfast on Saturday night in Rugby, Tennessee. The inn is supposedly inhabited by a certain Charles Oldfield, who died in Room #2. He’s supposed to […]

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November 20, 2006

>My Right Foot

>As many of you know, I have a special fondness in my heart for beauty pageants. But why should Miss America and Miss World get all the attention…. …when there’s Miss Meat Pie in Natchitoches, Louisiana? Or the lovely Worm Gruntin’ Queen in Sopchoppy, Florida? And who could forget Miss Hell Hole Swamp in Jamestown, […]

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November 17, 2006

>Because There’s No Such Thing as Pageant Overkill *Updated at the Bottom of the Post!*

Well, I did it. I gave the FlyLady’s hundred-thousand-e-mail-a-day organizational program a whirl. You can read how I did in this week’s issue of the Nashville Scene. The full text of the column is below… The Cult of Clean I have this friend whose house is a total mess. Broken crayons and toys litter the […]

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November 16, 2006

The Cult of Clean

>…is a set of Bittersweet cards from Paper Stories. Totally. Awesome.

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November 15, 2006

>All I Want for Christmas…

>”Oh. No.” I stared at my computer screen in horror. “What is it?” Hubs asked from across the room. “Someone at Mom and Dad’s was looking at my website last night from 11:30 until almost two in the morning.” “Well, it couldn’t have been your parents,” Hubs surmised. “They would never be up that late.” […]

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November 13, 2006

>Word Spreads, UPDATED

>”Are y’all fixing to eat dinner or are you going to eat, like one appetizer and split it?” the waiter asked. “Because we need to save our tables for real customers.” My 16-year-old and two friends had walked to the American Cafe at Green Hills Mall after last night’s football game. 16 looked around at […]

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November 11, 2006

>Teenism Rears Its Ugly Head

>While much of the nation mulled over their voting options as they waited to vote on Tuesday, I stood in line with only one thing on my mind. Ohhh, I’ve gotta pee. Oh man. I wonder if this woman will hold my place in line while I go pee? Hmm. I doubt it. She keeps […]

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November 10, 2006

>Wee the Pee-ple

>Did you have a problem with turbo-treating this Halloween? Find out what I’m talking about, as well as why Halloween serves as a cruel reminder that it’s best to keep to oneself in the suburbs, in this week’s Nashville Scene edition of Suburban Turmoil. The full text is below. Turbo TreatIt’s a week after Halloween […]

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November 8, 2006

>Halloween Ain’t What It Used to Be