“Well, if it isn’t Little Miss Internet Superstar.” It was Joanne, a former co-worker of mine. My husband and I had run into her at a local carnival. “Hi, Joanne!” I said. “Haven’t seen you in a while!” “Oh but I know all about you,” she said. “Everyone at my office does. We all read […]

>Dear “Ladies”, Allow me to introduce myself. I’m the mom who was laughing loudly and mumbling things like “You have got to be kidding me,” as I picked through your toddler clothing section on Friday morning. I have been to many a consignment sale and yours is always the worst. I can only assume that […]

>Baby has been wearing a t-shirt that says Famous in Japan ever since we bought it for her in New York last year. Most people see it and giggle, like I did when I bought it. But a few weeks ago, she wore it to one of my stepdaughters’ soccer games and a mom came […]

>Another parental rite of passage exposed in this week’s Nashville Scene column. Read the full text of the column below… My Latest Ice Capades As soon as the music hit the airwaves, my two-year-old and I scrambled to beat each other to the television. “MOMMY! It’s, it’s, it’s… Tinka Bell!” Baby screeched, pointing wildly at […]

>”Omigosh! You’ll never guess what I found out happened at the game Friday night!” My 15-year-old said dramatically as we were cleaning up the kitchen after dinner. “What?” “Gina made out with Trevor!” I knew Gina well, but… “Trevor?” “You know!” 15 said impatiently. “The Manwhore!” “Ohhhhh.” Now I could put a name with a… […]

If you have a child, particularly a girl, don’t kid yourself about keeping family secrets. There are none. Girls tell each other everything, and most of those girls then go home and tell their parents. That’s why Hubs and I know all kinds of things, from which mom is hiding sex toys in her nightstand […]

>Here’s one more response from the pageant side: This letter is from the pageant mom who’s been corresponding with me via e-mail. I would assume that a lot of what I’ve written has totally pissed her off, but she’s been nothing but polite, so I’ll ask you all to be the same in your comments […]

>Let’s take a break from pageantry, shall we? Instead, we’ll enter the fascinating world of Fascinating Womanhood, a book written by Helen Andelin (whom I suspect is actually a woman-hating man) that instructs women on how to be the perfect submissive housewife. Here are a few quotes from the book: “A man is by nature […]

>Finally, a response from the pageant side. This mom commented in the last post, so I just put it in a post of its own, since I know many of you will want to read what she has to say. Her words are in italics, mine are not. I am only saying that it is […]

>I got an e-mail from a pageant mom today, who says my Nashville Scene column is “running rampant in the pageant circles.” If that’s the case, it’s even more interesting to me that although this post about the pageants inspired well over a hundred commenters to personally rip glitz baby pageants a new one, not […]