Shoes On or Shoes Off in the House? The Struggle IS REAL.

  1. quiltbabe8 says:

    Guests always ask me if they should take theirs off – they look in the living room and see almost white (shudder) carpet. Note the carpet came with the condo, is old and stained and is slated to be replaced sooner rather than later. I tell them that, and leave it up to them. In winter, I remind them that the sunken living room is the coldest floor in the house, and if they insist on taking off shoes or boots and have no slippers or socks with them, I keep a few fuzzy sock/slipper things just for guests.

    As mentioned in one of the comments in your post, I view entertaining as my seeing to the comfort of my guests. I once had a friend who could.not let dishes sit after dinner (I routinely pile them in the kitchen, close the door and go out to enjoy my guests). “Seeing to her comfort” meant doing the dishes immediately after our dinner, so she didn’t freak out.

  2. quiltbabe8 says:

    Guests always ask me if they should take theirs off – they look in the living room and see almost white (shudder) carpet. Note the carpet came with the condo, is old and stained and is slated to be replaced sooner rather than later. I tell them that, and leave it up to them. In winter, I remind them that the sunken living room is the coldest floor in the house, and if they insist on taking off shoes or boots and have no slippers or socks with them, I keep a few fuzzy sock/slipper things just for guests.

    As mentioned in one of the comments in your post, I view entertaining as my seeing to the comfort of my guests. I once had a friend who could.not let dishes sit after dinner (I routinely pile them in the kitchen, close the door and go out to enjoy my guests). “Seeing to her comfort” meant doing the dishes immediately after our dinner, so she didn’t freak out.

  3. Valerie Johnson says:

    Speaking as a Canadian, we’re pretty much as split on this issues as our dear southern neighbours (at least in my little part of Canada).

    Growing up, it was always shoes off at my place (we actually had a whole shoe porch! Wasn’t heated so it really sucked in the winter when you had to go out in your socks to put your boots on..). My father was anal about no shoes in the house. As a result, I always remove my shoes, or at least ask me if they’d like me to remove my shoes when I’m a guest.

    My husband was brought up in a much more relaxed household, so we’ve had to come to a bit of a detente. He can wear his shoes into the house when he first comes in (but they must be taken off at some point in the first five minutes) UNLESS I’ve just mopped the floor in the previous 12 hours. Then they must be taken off at the door. We have all tiles and only one carpet, so cleaning them is not a huge issue.

    Guests at our house are given the option, as long as their shoes are covered in dog poo.
    We had this discussion at work though, and my boss, who does a lot of entertaining, feels differently. While she and her husband don’t wear shoes when they are home together, she can’t stand the thought of other people’s feet all over her floors (she’s one of those people who thinks feet are super gross… and while agree they can be, it all depends on the foot in question). Visitors must leave their shoes on, or she has slippers they can wear.

    Also… I think it depends on the floor and the shoes. I think it’s rude to wear dirty shoes on a carpet. Also, have you seen what stilettos can do to a wood floor?

  4. Valerie Johnson says:

    Speaking as a Canadian, we’re pretty much as split on this issues as our dear southern neighbours (at least in my little part of Canada).

    Growing up, it was always shoes off at my place (we actually had a whole shoe porch! Wasn’t heated so it really sucked in the winter when you had to go out in your socks to put your boots on..). My father was anal about no shoes in the house. As a result, I always remove my shoes, or at least ask me if they’d like me to remove my shoes when I’m a guest.

    My husband was brought up in a much more relaxed household, so we’ve had to come to a bit of a detente. He can wear his shoes into the house when he first comes in (but they must be taken off at some point in the first five minutes) UNLESS I’ve just mopped the floor in the previous 12 hours. Then they must be taken off at the door. We have all tiles and only one carpet, so cleaning them is not a huge issue.

    Guests at our house are given the option, as long as their shoes are covered in dog poo.
    We had this discussion at work though, and my boss, who does a lot of entertaining, feels differently. While she and her husband don’t wear shoes when they are home together, she can’t stand the thought of other people’s feet all over her floors (she’s one of those people who thinks feet are super gross… and while agree they can be, it all depends on the foot in question). Visitors must leave their shoes on, or she has slippers they can wear.

    Also… I think it depends on the floor and the shoes. I think it’s rude to wear dirty shoes on a carpet. Also, have you seen what stilettos can do to a wood floor?

  5. Becky says:

    My ex mother-in-law didn’t so much as ask everyone to remove their shoes upon entering her house, but rather demanded it. Everyone. No exceptions. I don’t care if you wear shoes in my house, I figure you wore them to my house, you have the right to keep them on. I can vacuum the carpet.

  6. Becky says:

    My ex mother-in-law didn’t so much as ask everyone to remove their shoes upon entering her house, but rather demanded it. Everyone. No exceptions. I don’t care if you wear shoes in my house, I figure you wore them to my house, you have the right to keep them on. I can vacuum the carpet.

  7. janegoodwin says:

    I would rather have a house full of comfortable people than immaculate carpets. What sane person who loves people would have white carpet anyway? My feet are so freezing cold with diabetic neuropathy that to be without shoes is torture, and no, socks alone don’t cut it. People are more important than floors. Priorities, y’all. Mine are people. If yours are your carpets and floors, I’m sorry for you.

  8. janegoodwin says:

    I would rather have a house full of comfortable people than immaculate carpets. What sane person who loves people would have white carpet anyway? My feet are so freezing cold with diabetic neuropathy that to be without shoes is torture, and no, socks alone don’t cut it. People are more important than floors. Priorities, y’all. Mine are people. If yours are your carpets and floors, I’m sorry for you.

  9. cheesehead4ever says:

    If asked I will take my shoes off in someone’s house but until I get undressed at night, I am wearing shoes in my own house. I have completely flat feet. Going without shoes is painful. I won’t subject myself to that.

    The rest of my family takes off their shoes by their choice. I tell guests they can leave their shoes on if they like. By the way, we live in Minnesota so it does get messy outside. However we do not have any carpet on our main floor.

    What is interesting is that I worked part time in a flooring store for five years. It turns out that clean shoes are the best thing to wear on carpet. The oils in bare feet break down the fibers of your carpet. The material in socks rubs against the fibers of the carpet and also breaks them down.

  10. cheesehead4ever says:

    If asked I will take my shoes off in someone’s house but until I get undressed at night, I am wearing shoes in my own house. I have completely flat feet. Going without shoes is painful. I won’t subject myself to that.

    The rest of my family takes off their shoes by their choice. I tell guests they can leave their shoes on if they like. By the way, we live in Minnesota so it does get messy outside. However we do not have any carpet on our main floor.

    What is interesting is that I worked part time in a flooring store for five years. It turns out that clean shoes are the best thing to wear on carpet. The oils in bare feet break down the fibers of your carpet. The material in socks rubs against the fibers of the carpet and also breaks them down.

  11. Mark says:

    We live in rural England in an affluent farming area where people don’t get uptight about removing shoes. Shoes and boots come off at the door. It hasn’t stopped raining here for a month, so what else can you do with muddy footwear?
    I grew up in a house where shoes were left at the door so it is second nature to take shoes off. We wear slippers and guests tend to bring a pair with them to change into.
    It is not a question of valuing your floors more than your guests, its about striking a balance. if some choose to have expensive carpets then they are free to do so. It is not unreasonable to not want dirt dragged across them. If someone has an expensive car then i am sure they keep clean and would be most upset of someone keyed it all down its lovely paintwork.
    I have never really understood why some get so upset about taking shoes off. I suspect its got nothing to do with taking shoes of but the perception that they are being told what to do. So its really about power and perceived loss of control
    Thankfully we live in a civilized area where shoes and boots come off at the door and life goes on smoothly and comfortably

  12. Mark says:

    We live in rural England in an affluent farming area where people don’t get uptight about removing shoes. Shoes and boots come off at the door. It hasn’t stopped raining here for a month, so what else can you do with muddy footwear?
    I grew up in a house where shoes were left at the door so it is second nature to take shoes off. We wear slippers and guests tend to bring a pair with them to change into.
    It is not a question of valuing your floors more than your guests, its about striking a balance. if some choose to have expensive carpets then they are free to do so. It is not unreasonable to not want dirt dragged across them. If someone has an expensive car then i am sure they keep clean and would be most upset of someone keyed it all down its lovely paintwork.
    I have never really understood why some get so upset about taking shoes off. I suspect its got nothing to do with taking shoes of but the perception that they are being told what to do. So its really about power and perceived loss of control
    Thankfully we live in a civilized area where shoes and boots come off at the door and life goes on smoothly and comfortably

  13. Jackie says:

    I was raised to take shoes off, and expect the same as an adult in my home. I’ve never had anyone balk at the request, and would be surprised if anyone I know did. My mom now prefers to wear shoes at all times, however, so she just has house shoes. She takes them with when she goes to others’ homes, and never wears them outside. Works perfectly.

  14. Jackie says:

    I was raised to take shoes off, and expect the same as an adult in my home. I’ve never had anyone balk at the request, and would be surprised if anyone I know did. My mom now prefers to wear shoes at all times, however, so she just has house shoes. She takes them with when she goes to others’ homes, and never wears them outside. Works perfectly.

  15. Melissa says:

    In Colorado the unspoken rule is, if it’s snowy/raining/muddy the shoes come off, if it’s not then you look for the telltale pile of shoes by the front door. Or you ask. It’s what we do. Well, theoretically. There will always be the odd Colorado newbie family who doesn’t get it yet. But they will. Everyone does. It is our culture.

  16. Melissa says:

    In Colorado the unspoken rule is, if it’s snowy/raining/muddy the shoes come off, if it’s not then you look for the telltale pile of shoes by the front door. Or you ask. It’s what we do. Well, theoretically. There will always be the odd Colorado newbie family who doesn’t get it yet. But they will. Everyone does. It is our culture.

  17. Amy says:

    There is nothing rude with asking your guests to take their shoes off when then enter your house. Your house, your rules. Would you want guests to put their muddy, dirty shoes on your furniture? What about on your clothes, bedding, or in your bed? Do you have any idea how dirty the ground is outside? What if someone steps in dog poo? Would you want that all over your house?

    What’s rude is when guests come over and think your rules don’t apply to them. I take my shoes off when I walk into not only my home, but friends and family’s as well. Illinois gets snow, and a lot of it. I’d rather people take their shoes off than I and others step in piles of slush and water. I and others like to sit on the floor, better to do that on a dry, clean carpet than one that’s filthy, wet, nasty, greasy, etc.

  18. MelissaMacGregor says:

    i am in absolute hysterics. This was a HUGE thread in our neighborhood listserv a few years ago. My friend and I call it “shoe gate” because it was so funny – people were SOOOO worked up over this. Frankly, my husband and I wear shoes in the house and the kids generally do not. My kids have survived and even eat things off the floor on occasion and they have not come down with any weird diseases! Shocking. I would not THINK of asking people to take off their shoes. Some people do – especially if they are wet or snowy but generally they know I don’t care. Clearly the “no shoe” people do not throw cocktail parties – the shoes ARE the outfit, people!! (Note: Our neighborhood also had another hilarious thread about whether teachers should be allowed to drink soda in front of their class – “soda gate”. Again, who cares this much?!!! Maybe you can do a post on that!!).

  19. MelissaMacGregor says:

    i am in absolute hysterics. This was a HUGE thread in our neighborhood listserv a few years ago. My friend and I call it “shoe gate” because it was so funny – people were SOOOO worked up over this. Frankly, my husband and I wear shoes in the house and the kids generally do not. My kids have survived and even eat things off the floor on occasion and they have not come down with any weird diseases! Shocking. I would not THINK of asking people to take off their shoes. Some people do – especially if they are wet or snowy but generally they know I don’t care. Clearly the “no shoe” people do not throw cocktail parties – the shoes ARE the outfit, people!! (Note: Our neighborhood also had another hilarious thread about whether teachers should be allowed to drink soda in front of their class – “soda gate”. Again, who cares this much?!!! Maybe you can do a post on that!!).

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