Suburban Turmoil 2012: The Year in Blurbs, Bits, and Snapshots

Some say that Twitter and Facebook have been the death of blogging. I disagree.

So many of the most hilarious/precious/memorable moments I’ve experienced over the last few years would have been lost and gone forever if it hadn’t been for Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

But in order to keep those moments from fading away into the online ether, I have to gather the best of them up. And that’s just what I’ve done. Here, for your reading and viewing pleasure, are my favorite online blurbs, bits and snapshots from 2012.

 
1/6: She picked out her own outfit, asked for a little makeup, and had me curl her hair. SHE IS SEVEN. What am I in for?

1/12: Sadly, I turned down the offer to review the book “Tickle My Tush.”

1/15: On my way to Myrtle Beach. Psyched to interview 3 presidential candidates tomorrow for @CafeMom!

 

1/16: I TOUCHED THE SWEATER VEST.

1/17: Back in Nashville. Carried to baggage claim by a horde of C-Span groupies. #not

1/17: PEOPLE. No one is saying bad things about you on the Internet! GAH. Paranoid much? DON’T CLICK ON THAT LINK!

1/17: Okay, Atlanta friends, who remembers Father Francis from the Conyers monastery? Anyone? Anyone? Was he your penpal too, or was that just my weirdness?

 

1/30: Surprise!

2/3: Whoa. I have a C-Span bio. NOW I CAN DIE. http://t.co/eBXwnALt

2/6: So sad about losing Susan Niebur. The mom blogging community really won’t be the same without @whymommy. A TREMENDOUS loss

2/8: My daughter’s teacher just sent me an e-mail saying that my daughter wrote that she wants to be a “fashion easter” when she grows up! Hahahahhahahahaha!

 

2/10: My daughter was so proud of this mountain she made with brown Play-Doh at school. I? I had no words.

2/15: I’M NOT YOUR SISTER!” My 4-yr-old son just shouted at my daughter. “FOR A HUNDRED TWO THOUSAND MILLION DAYS!”
Wow. That had to hurt.

2/16: There was a time when I thought writing a story explaining the new health care law was a great idea. That time has ended. #migraine

2/23: The Question of the day from my 4-year-old: “Mommy, why do spiders poo out string? WHY?”

2/28: I’m on the campaign trail with Newt today, but you should know I’m not for or against him. I’m Newtral.

2/28: From LA Times reporter: “@CafeMom? Wait, are you the ones who made Newt cry? I HAVE heard of you!”

 

2/28: Callista hair update: STILL PERFECT.

3/2: It’s chaos at my daughter’s elementary school as parents rush to check out their kids before the tornadoes arrive…

3/2: Tornado reported on the ground headed into Dickson. This is the same storm that’ll be in Bellevue at 4pm. #nervous

3/2: My stepdaughter just got home, said people are passing on wrong side of road, running redlights trying to beat storm. STAY SAFE, Nashville.

 

3/2: Good times in our safe place. The neighbors just fled.

3/2: Wind is picking up, just lost power.

3/2: Really big hail like I’ve never heard before.

3/2: We made it- The power is FINALLY back on!! Tornadoes. GAH.

 

3/8: I’ve got eyes in the back of my head, young man…

3/10: This day was going so well… And then I was mistaken for Fran Drescher.

3/12: I’m just gonna say it. I’ve about had it with unicorns. Can we move on to something else, people? Like narwhals?

3/15: Best invented word I’ve read today: “diversatile.”

3/17: Guess who came in first in his age bracket in Nashville’s St. Patrick’s Day 5K this morning? My husband, Dennis Ferrier! So proud of him!

3/19: Oh by the way. If anyone needs me tomorrow, I’ll be at the White House.

3/19: Oops! That was TOTALLY supposed to be a DM!! #noitwasnt

 

3/20: Just finished a press briefing…

 

3/25: It’s GO TIME!!!

4/2: Cutting my five-year-old’s nails and he just instructed me: “Leave one so I can still pick my nose.”
Always thinking ahead, this one…

 

4/4 Amateur firefighters at The Discovery Center at Murfree Springs.

4/3: My 87-year-old grandmother just joined Facebook. AWESOME.

4/3: It takes different strokes to rule the world? What does that even mean?

4/7: Punky loved seeing her dad’s cameo in “Titanic: The Musical” last night, but we had to leave early because she started to get sad once there were no more lifeboats.
“It’s not fair,” she sniffed as we left. “They were just trying to get to New York!”

4/8: My 7-yr-old is asking a disturbing number of questions about the Easter Bunny. #uhoh

4/9: Made a rookie parenting mistake tonight by giving both kids 50 cents for the restaurant claw machine.
OF COURSE, Punky caught a stuffed dog on the first try and OF COURSE 5-year-old Bruiser got nothing on his turn– at which point he held his fists to the sky, threw back his head and yelled “WHYYYYYYYYYY?!” at top volume, then began sobbing loudly.
This did not go over so well with the other diners….

 

4/9: Long day.

4/11: Is it inappropriate to create a Google Plus circle called Backstabbers?

4/12: When someone does a search for “creepiest photos taken ever” and ends up on your blog, it is time to reassess your photography skills.

4/13: Okay, so POTUS and FLOTUS retweeted my blog post for The Stir today. This is SO going on my Reverse Bucket List. http://bit.ly/HAXuVg

4/15: Bruiser chose a coffee cup with his name on it at the Churchill Downs gift shop today, but once we got in the car, he started misbehaving and Dennis told him he was going to throw it away.
“If you do dat, I will KNUCKLE YOUR SANDWICH!” Bruiser howled, unrepentant. “AND IT WILL BE THE HURTY KIND!”
Ouch.

4/16: What I love about Pinterest is that it virtually guarantees I’ll never get to the end of the Internet. What I hate about Pinterest is that it virtually guarantees I’ll never get to the end of the Internet.

4/17: “I don’t know why it’s called Toys R Us,” my 8-year-old daughter said yesterday. “It should be called Toys FOR Us.”
I love kid logic.

4/20: My 8-yr-old needs you to identify the bird she just saw: “It was shaped like a pigeon and it had a curly mohawk. ” DO YOU KNOW THIS BIRD?

4/23: Let’s just be honest. Eating healthy kind of sucks.

4/24: “When I was pregnant I was addicted to calamari, so we named her Camarie after the squid!” And this is why I love Toddlers and Tiaras.

4/25: And yet another search for ‘baby neck cheese’ on my blog. YUM!

4/26: I wonder if NASA uses Photoshop to make space look prettier…

5/2: Add this to the list of things to never say to a woman: “Wow! You really WERE hungry!”

5/3: Today, I was on a panel with the wife of Colin Powell and the CEO of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting in front of 2,000 people at the Opryland Hotel. At least… I think I was. In retrospect, I may have dreamed it.

5/4: I was telling my mom last night about season 2 of “I’ll Take That Dare,” which starts production next week.
“Don’t let them make a fool out of you,” she warned.
“Mom,” I said huffily, “I am perfectly capable of making a fool out of myself without anyone else’s help!”

5/5: Judge not… unless you’re a judge.

5/12: Headed to the airport. My driver is 80, wearing a fedora and spats, and driving 30 mph. Welcome to my life.

5/12: So no matter where I go in Nashville, I see Jack White. No other famous people. Just Jack White. Guess who’s on my flight?

5/12: The number of New Yorkers who bring their dog clothes shopping is just stupid.

5/12: Just passed a topless woman and then Jimmy Fallon. It’s that kind of day.

5/12: All of New York City could use a refresher course on the term PERSONAL SPACE.

5/13: So I was walking down the street in NYC and just saw my SECOND topless female pedestrian in two days. Is this normal??!

5/15: Heart full, body bruised, & mind racing. I have the most AMAZING job & am afraid this year is going to turn me into an adrenaline junkie!

 

5/16: I think this will go down in history as one of my favorite “hilarious life moments” OF ALL TIME.

5/18: Only in Tennessee.

5/20: Of all the shirts in your closet, you chose the one that said “Every Damn Day” for preschool graduation? REALLY?

 

5/27: At the beach…

6/3: 11 1/2 hours into our 12 hour drive home from the beach and our SUV’s A/C has gone out, the stereo has stopped working, the check engine light is flashing and we’re shuddering and sputtering our way into Nashville, Clampett-style. Good thing we were already planning on buying a replacement car this week!

6/5: “I don’t understand why bugs never take it easy and relax,” my 8-yr-old said yesterday on a nature hike. Good point…

6/7: The car tag on the hot rod in front of me said IMLEAVENU. Which is so great, because I’ve always wanted to rise like bread.

6/12: I brought in my vacuum for repair this morning and when I gave the guy my name, he did a doubletake.
“Wait,” he said. “Are you THAT BLOGGER?”
“Well, there are a lot of bloggers,” I said.
“Yeah,” he nodded, “but you’re the one I always hear customers talking about.”
New phobia: EVERYONE AT THE VACUUM REPAIR SHOP IS TALKING SH*T ABOUT ME.

6/15: It’s always awesome when my husband orders a Rob Roy and gets a Roy Rogers.

6/16: This man scarf trend MUST. DIE.

6/20: Wow. I just overheard my husband tell my stepdaughter his ‘wisdom teeth removal’ story. Except… he told her MY story. He’s heard MY wisdom teeth story so often, he now thinks it happened to him! WTH?!
For the record, I woke from surgery, assured my mom I was fine and ready to go home, stood up, and walked into the wall.
And now? SO DID MY HUSBAND.

6/24: There are about 1,437 people ahead of me in the cab line at LGA. Bright side: it could be 1,438.

6/26: Oh New York. I love/hate you so hard.

7/1: Just ran into a woman from San Francisco in Quebec City that I met last week in NYC. Wow.

 

7/1: Poutine at AshTon in Quebec City. Here goes nothing…

 

7/4: Staying in what I thought was a very nice bed and breakfast in Quebec for my 10th anniversary. And then I noticed the picture over the fireplace.

 

7/6: And then we stopped at Le Fart…

 

7/19: At Obama’s campaign stop in Jacksonville.

7/22: I never thought I’d be so excited to be HOME for a whole WEEK AND A HALF!

7/24: Tonight, I gave my 8-year-old my old iPod and loaded it with her favorite tunes. She requested ten Disney princess songs…. and “War” by Edwin Starr. Wow.

7/28: At the YMCA pool today, I watched as a mom joined the children competing in a five-and-under game to catch rubber fish, which could be exchanged for prizes. The grand prize was supposed to go to the child who caught the rubber shark.
Guess who caught the shark?

 

8/1: First day of school: A brief moment of uncertainty.

8/1: Reading my son’s kindergarten handbook. Under ‘Homework’ his teacher wrote “Homework is important but not mandatory. Parents need not send an excuse for homework not completed. Life happens and I totally understand why work might not get done.” LOVE HER.

 

8/3: Good Lord this is an epic good night. All my favorite people. #BlogHer

8/7: My five-year-old has been asking for a journal for a while- I brought him one from BlogHer and he was SO EXCITED. He’s been writing and drawing pictures in it ever since. There’s only one problem. He calls it “my diarrhea.” And it’s so funny that I can’t correct him.

 

8/16: Looks like we’re gonna be here a while…

8/26: The captain of my first flight this morning just showed up at the gate with bedhead. This is problematic.

 

8/30: Don’t even ask.

 

8/30: Okay this is pretty amazing. #gop2012

8/31: Off to see my family for a whole day and a half before heading to the DNC in Charlotte. I’ve had 4 hours of sleep and I don’t even care- CAN’T WAIT to see my family!

 

9/3: Just another day interviewing Ty Pennington for @momsmatter2012… #DNC2012

9/4: FLOTUS speaks.

9/8: Murphy’s law: The morning after you get back from a grueling two-week work trip, your 5-year-old will uncharacteristically wake up at 5:30am, ready to play.

9/9: This is not quite how I pictured my debut in the Tampa Business Journal… http://www.bizjournals.com/tampabay/blog/morning-edition/2012/09/tampas-police-bicycle-squads-began-a.html …

 

 

9/11: Sick day at Starbucks.

 

9/21: Friday night.

9/22: Cleaning out & reshelving all my books this morning to make room for a new piece of furniture and I’ve discovered something very disturbing about myself: I AM A BOOK HOARDER. There is no way I can read all of these books in one lifetime… yet I can’t let them go!

 

10/12: Introducing Dottie Ferrier! We officially adopted her today!

9/26: Pajama Day!

10/17: I am working in the HLN newsroom between hits today and every 15 minutes or so a tour group comes up and stares at everyone through the glass. I feel like I’m working in the store window of a department store!

10/18: Just finished The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society and I think every single one of you should read it. WOW. I didn’t want it to end!

10/21: Just another Sunday morning in the Ferrier house…

10/21: In a time-out.

10/27: Cold, wet morning + dog that needs to go out = FOREVER LAZY!!!!!

10/28:We spent the night on the Chattanooga Choo Choo!

10/28:

My 5-yr-old: Werewolves are real, right?
His dad: Werewolves are monsters.
My 5-yr-old: But they’re real, right?
His dad: Well, wolves are real.
My 5-yr-old: But werewolves are real, too, right?
His dad: Some people think they’re real.
My 5-yr-old: But they’re SORT of real, right?
His dad: …I don’t think they’re real.
My 5-yr-old, quickly: I don’t either.

10/29: My 5-yr-old just got home from school very excited because they talked about the presidents, including ‘Rockamo Bama!’
“There was a lot of presidents,” he told me knowledgeably. “Some with glasses, some with beards. And then there was ROCKAMO BAMA!”

 

11/2: Dottie, er, Wonder Woman, had a great Halloween!

11/5: Guess who lost his first tooth at school?

11/5: Actual phone call just now from a toll-free number:

Caller: I’m calling on behalf of Boo Mitchell.
Me: Who?
Caller: Boo Mitchell. Boo Mitchell is working for Tennesseans to…
Me: Wait, WHO are you talking about?
Caller: Boo. Boo Mitchell.
Me: Yeah, it’s actually Bo.
Caller: Bo?
Me: Bo Mitchell. We know him.
Caller: Oh. I’m from Illinois.
Me: Ok, well, thanks for calling.

11/6: You guys won’t believe this. MY SON ACTUALLY SAW THE TOOTH FAIRY LAST NIGHT. Here’s his description: “She’s all white and she’s a ghost. She had white hair. She’s nice, but she didn’t see me.” Whoa.

11/6:”You and Daddy are going to that place today, right?” my 5-year-old just asked. “What place?” I said. “The Obama with the Mitt Romney place,” he said.  I haven’t talked to him about the election AT ALL- It’s amazing what even small children are able to pick up just from overhearing us.

 

11/6: And this is where my election coverage ends…

11/6: Here’s to re-learning what “unification,” “working together for the good of our nation” and “compromise” mean! GO AMERICA.

 

11/8: Just got my brows done. OMG. Giving Joan Crawford a run for her money…

11/11: Ran out to the drink machine on my hotel floor in my pajamas to get a bottle of water– and my key card wouldn’t let me back into my room. Soooo, I went down to the VERY BUSY lobby barefoot and in pajamas to get a new key. I’m shooting “I’ll Take That Dare” this week– but I just had what was by far my most embarrassing moment!

 

11/14: Oh happy haircut day.

 

11/15: My 8-yr-old got news yesterday that a boy at school has a crush on her. “What are you going to DO when you see him at school tomorrow?” I asked her. She shrugged.
“Leave him be,” she said.

 

11/16: Real Housewives of the 1800s.

11/21: Okay, so I just changed a bulb in my dining room chandelier and went upstairs. Thirty seconds later, I heard a loud explosion and saw the downstairs light up like a firecracker was going off. I ran downstairs and the lamp I had just changed on the chandelier was black, melted and smoking. The rest of the chandelier was on and fine. Obviously, I turned it off, but what else should I do? I’m completely freaked out and my electrician isn’t answering the phone. Related: I COULD HAVE BEEN ELECTROCUTED OR BLINDED OR SOMETHING. OMG.

 

12/2: A walk in the woods.

12/6: On the way to see Santa last night, my five-year-old piped up from the backseat, “Mommy, it’s really weird that we’re going to sit in a stranger’s lap, right? That’s really weird.”
The kid calls it like it is.

12/13: And then my neighbor came to my door and gave me a survival knife-slash-zip line. This is why I live in Tennessee.

12/14: My son was home with a cold today and I pulled my daughter out of school after her lunch to spend time with her visiting grandparents. As we were leaving, my husband texted me with the news of what happened today in Connecticut. So glad I had my kids with me. Every time I’ve looked at them today, I’ve gotten teary-eyed, and I must have hugged each of them and told them I loved them two dozen times in just the last few hours. What happened at Sandy Hook could have happened at their school. It could have happened at any of our kids’ schools. I don’t know what the answer is– I just know I’m so fortunate to have my children here with me tonight.

12/15: My 8-year-old was asked whether she wanted to choose anything from a plate of raw vegetables and dip during a pizza party at her school yesterday. “No thank you,” she told her teachers politely. “I’m an un-vegetarian.”

12/16: I have thought a lot over the last two days about my children’s teachers, past and present, and the obvious love and affection they have for their students. I have no doubt that in a crisis, they would treat my kids as if they were their own. I am so thankful for them.

12/17: Yesterday, my 8-year-old was trying to tell me that she was very passionate about something, but she couldn’t think of the right word to describe how she felt. “I don’t know how to say it,” she told me. “I just know I feel all fiery and kicky inside!”

12/20: From my eight-year-old: “I feel bad for one of Santa’s reindeer, who’s the most unpopular. DONNER.”
She has a point. When do you ever hear about DONNER?!

 

 12/21: Anonymously bought dessert for another table. The kids are beside themselves. #26acts

 

12/15: Merry Christmas from me… and Scary-Santa-Who-Wouldn’t-Let-Go-Of-Me.