It can be tough to find holiday gifts for all your friends and loved ones. That’s why I’m here to help… with 12 of the worst gift ideas EVER! Your little one will enjoy hours of fun with these giant plush microbes! Choose from playful pets like Syphilis, E.Coli and Herpes and open the door to a new world of imagination and creative play!
A Cashmere. Wrapped. Hot. Water. Bottle.
I can only imagine the scene when this gets opened on Christmas day… “Oh! A hot water bottle! I’ve… I’ve… um, I’ve always wanted one of these. And would you look at that. It’s wearing a sweater. In fact, this sweater feels like… No. No, it couldn’t be. Is it… cashmere? YOU GOT ME A CASHMERE WRAPPED WATER BOTTLE?!”
What little girl doesn’t dream of cleaning when she grows up? With My Cleaning Trolley, that dream can become a reality! This ten-piece set includes a mop, broom, sweeper, dustpan, bucket, trash bag, spray bottle with real squirting action, cardboard “cleaner” box, and vacuum with lights and sound. Leave her a few bucks on the bed for added role-playing fun!
If you have a friend who’s lost a loved one recently, this Merry Christmas from Heaven ornament will DEFINITELY make him feel better! Now you can be the bearer of holiday tidings from The Great Beyond. GO YOU.
Oh, and if you’re short on cash, don’t despair- Simply give your friend the scratched and dented version, ON SALE NOW for just $11! Hurry!! Supplies are (possibly) limited!
Looking for a romantic and unique holiday gift? You really can’t go wrong with a human bone necklace. It gives new meaning to the words “Til death do us part.”
And if your sweetie is slightly less… rustic, how about these 18K gold-dipped human teeth stud earrings? Holy molars!
As for the treasured man in your life, nothing says “It’s sexy time” quite like a Jedi Bathrobe.
But when you want to let someone know you REALLY care, your best bet is to send them $1,500 worth of cold cuts. And you can do just that with Dean & Deluca’s Ultimate Artisanal Deli Sampler. This delectable sampler includes prosciutto, salami, bresaola, and my personal favorite, pork back fat.
Of course, your lucky friend is going to need transport for all that meat … I recommend the Human Organ Lunch Bag.
Give your tot a head start with these periodic table building blocks. Now your child can memorize each element’s name, atomic number and symbol– all before the age of three!
Hey. It’s not easy getting into preschool these days. Kid’s gonna need all the help he can get.
And finally, my personal favorite … the Forever Lazy. I’ve become so lazy since getting mine that I’m now ordering them in bulk for all the special people in my life.
You should do the same.