I'm Lindsay Ferrier, a Nashville writer with a passion for family travel, exploring Tennessee, and raising kids without losing my mind in the process. This is where I share my discoveries, along with occasional deep thoughts, pop culture tangents and a sprinkling of snark. Want to get in touch? Use the CONTACT form at the top of the page.
October 8, 2010
>Each week, I feel like I’m apologizing to you guys.
But we’re JUST! SO! BUSY!
I’m guessing many of you know exactly what I’m talking about- Between writing my style blog for The Stir, writing a newspaper column for the Nashville Scene (I’ve gone to a bi-weekly schedule there, if you haven’t noticed, because I was feeling stretched too thin), various other writing assignments that pop up each month, and most importantly, being a mom, this blog continually gets put on the backburner.
And it KILLS ME.
I have so many stories to tell you! So many!
Hopefully, I’ll get to all of them. Eventually.
Honestly, one of the biggest unexpected time suckers right now has been Punky’s homework assignments. She’s only in first grade, yet she has a daily writing/spelling assignment that includes nearly 40 words that she must sort by vowel sound, alphabetize, spell on her own, and write in sentences. She’s also supposed to read a book three times through each day after school and be ready to test on it the next morning. PLUS, she has another sheet of homework assignments that she’s supposed to complete each day.
The first few weeks of school, I panicked. Homework was taking an hour a night, and let’s face it, when you have a first grader, their homework is also your homework. You’ve got to be right with them to supervise and answer questions and keep them on task. I asked around at school and it turned out this was the norm. The moms at Punky’s school are pretty much slaves to their kids’ homework assignments and class projects, and it’s almost a badge of honor at that school to stand around, talking about what you had to do to make that Seven Continents Globe or that About Me Poster or that Foods of the World Recipe.
I feel totally naive now, because I had NO IDEA how much work it would take to be the mom of a first grader. At first, I was outraged about the amount of homework, but the truth is, Punky has a really good teacher and she actually enjoys doing most of it. I did, however, write the teacher a note and tell her that I was going to choose the most essential assignments first and then cut Punky off at 30 minutes, because after that, things really began to deteriorate. The teacher agreed to that with no problem.
My panic lessened.
About a month into it, I realized that in that short amount of time, Punky’s handwriting (her weakness) had improved by about 100%. Her reading comprehension had shot up by more than a grade level. She was walking around the house counting to one thousand, counting by tens, fives, twos, begging me for difficult addition and subtraction problems, all of which she could answer.
The girl is intellectually on fire right now. Who am I to stop her?
And so we do the spelling. We read the books. We add and we subtract. We look up information on the Internet. We discuss liquids and solids and our fire safety plan and why apples float in water. Add to that all of the things I’m asked to do as a parent at that school, from volunteering to baking cakes, and it gets a little stressful.
And so I write fewer blog posts.
And I wonder how parents with 9-5 jobs keep up this pace, because most of them at Punky’s school do. It’s got to be tough, if not impossible.
And suddenly, it occurred to me that there’s a reason Punky’s school gets the top scores in the district. Sure we have great teachers and a fantastic principal…
…but we also have parents who are working their butts off. Without the parents, there is no way the testing scores at my daughter’s school would be as high as they are.
And this realization makes me kind of sad. Because I now believe you can throw all the money at a school that you want- but if you don’t have parents who are willing and able to spend a LOT of time working one-on-one with their kids on a regular basis, you’re not going to get the results you want. And the reality is that I live in a very comfortable part of town, where many of the moms have the time to work with their kids on homework for an hour each night. In many neighborhoods, I don’t think this kind of situation would even be possible.
“Punky, are there any kids in your class who don’t turn this in every day?” I asked her the other night as I once again marveled at how much time we’re now spending on her after school assignments.
“There’s one,” she answered. “He NEVER has his spelling done. Never.”
One. Out of 16. Frankly, I’m surprised the number isn’t higher.
I’m curious to know what you think about all this, from your perspective as a parent. Are you surprised at the standards elementary school students are asked to meet these days? And what do you think is the solution for children in neighborhoods where parents aren’t able, for whatever reason, to intellectually coach them each day? Is there one? I hate to be negative about this, but right now, from where I stand, I’m thinking…
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