Clouds
Typically when we’re in the car, 7-year-old Punky doesn’t like being disturbed. “Mommy, I’m trying to IMAGINATE!” she’ll say if I try to engage her in conversation, and I can’t help but giggle. But this day was a particularly beautiful one. The humidity was low, the air was clear, and massive, multi-dimensional clouds drifted across the sky. Punky couldn’t keep her imaginating to herself.
“I see a rabbit, nibbling a flower bush!” she said. “Look, Mommy, do you see it?”
“Uh huh,” I said absentmindedly.
“And ooh! Look over there!” she continued excitedly. “I see two flying ponies! One is chasing the other!”
“Oh, you’re right,” I said, my eyes still on the road. “That’s neat, Punky!”
“I see a tall tower!” 4-year-old Bruiser shouted from his side of the backseat, eager to get in on the game. “It grow so big, up up up into the sky!”
“And I see a little girl running!” Punky yelped. “She’s going so fast, her hair is flying behind her!”
The children went back and forth for a few minutes as I drove, spotting puppy dogs and race cars, princesses and choo choo trains. I smiled, remembering back to a time long ago when I was their age, doing the very same thing.
“What do you see, Mommy?” Punky asked, interrupting my reverie.
“What?” I asked.
“What do you see in the clouds?” Punky repeated impatiently. “It’s your turn.”
I leaned forward over the steering wheel and quickly scanned the sky. Clouds were everywhere. Everywhere. “I see…” I said, stumbling. “I see, uh…” I paused, and bit my lip.
Because try as I might, I couldn’t see a flock of sheep or a knight in armor or a peacock or a pirate ship.
I could only see clouds.
And in that moment, I felt a profound sadness. Whatever happened to that girl in me, the one who could see the cloud figures painted in the sky as clearly as my own children could? Was she still alive somewhere, buried deep beneath the grocery lists and calendar pages and bills and appointment times and unreturned voice mails and upcoming dates that now clutter my mind?
I need to find her again.
Images via Fractal Artist/Flickr
Awww…she’s still there! Writing blog posts and gardening and raising children and making food…all very creative activities! Cut your inner child a break!
Ha, Kathy! Thank you. It was just a shocking moment for me- You take certain things for granted over the years and don’t even realize you’ve lost them until… they’re gone.
awwww. . .my heart broke a little bit!
“I see a mommy hugging her two littles!”
Ha! I must have been tired, I was having trouble even coming up with something FAKE that day… I’d had no idea I had lost some of my imagination over the years until that moment!
It’s hard to find meaning in nature when you’re encased in several tons of steel and plastic.
I’m sure if you were in a position to just lay back, relax and see what you could see, you would have found plenty of shapes and pictures.
Circumstances matter.
I definitely need to create more of those moments. Because right now, I’m NEVER in a position to lay back, relax and look at the clouds.
nah! I think you still have it. Driving is distracting! I know that if you were out in your back yard on a blanket, you would have seen all kinds of cool things 🙂
Jenna
momofmanyhats.blogspot.com
I don’t know, I really could not see ANYTHING. And part of the problem is that I’m NEVER out in the backyard on a blanket anymore. I schedule in activities with my kids each day, so we always have quality time together, but I have absolutely no do-nothing time anymore. And that’s kind of sad.
That’s why I love being a teacher, it keeps the kid inside of me ALIVE! And you still have it, you just need to take time to let it come out. This would make a great children’s book by the way!
True! You have a great job. 🙂 And you’re right- This would be a fun book for kids and parents.
above and beyond…
amazing stuff thanx. thanks !! very helpful post great fantastic….