>Daddy Daycare
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Here is why I’d better not die any time soon.
Note the messy ponytail, the clashing shoes. The mittens.
Knowing she had the upper hand, Punky insisted on wearing those mittens every day, even though it was 75-degrees outside. The biggest fashion faux pas of the week, though, occurred after Hubs opened just one drawer in Punky’s dresser, found it full of shirts and pants and decided it held all the clothing she needed for the week. Unfortunately, it was her PAJAMA drawer, a detail that somehow escaped Hubs’s notice. Therefore, every day, he dressed Punky up in various unmatching pajama tops and bottoms before taking her out on the town. I can only imagine what they were thinking at the YMCA nursery. Whatever happened to the little girl who always wore a dress and matching ribbons in her hair, and who was this mittened, pajama’ed, ratty-haired cavegirl that had taken her place?
Understandably, I haven’t left Hubs alone with the kids for longer than a day since that time- at least until BlogHer came along. Even then, he was supposed to be taking them to visit his parents at the same time that I left for San Francisco- but then karma paid him a visit.
Find out what happened in the latest newspaper edition of Suburban Turmoil, then tell me, moms, what’s happened when you’ve left your kids with your husband. I know I’ve got some stay-at-home dad readers out there, too- do the tables turn when your bumbling wives take charge of the kids?
Oh, and as a sidenote, don’t bother coming down on Hubs for the comment he made during the argument mentioned in the column- as you regular readers know, he’s a wonderful husband and father– and, well, truth be told, I’ve said far, far worse to him during arguments.
But I’m the blogger in this house, and I don’t have to blog about that, do I?
>When my son was born, I had to stay in the hospital with him for a couple of extra days. So, my husband brought our 3 year old daughter to visit. When they walked in, I had to laugh out loud. Her hair was standing on end and she had her shirt on BACKWARDS. He had no clue.Then there was the time he kept them all day and I got home about 5 and they were still in their pajamas. He had seen no reason to dress them. They weren’t going anywhere, after all!
>1. I loved your article. My husband is a SAHD. He recently went out of town for the weekend and I was BEWILDERED. I did keep the house clean and I know how to dress our toddler son, but still…. whatever, I’m probably a bad Mommy (which was his word of the weekend.. MOM-MEEEEE MOM-MEEEEEE MOM-MEEEEEE hee hee!)2. What a weird direction the comments on your article went!!!!
>Ha ha, what a funny post!! I don’t have children myself but do think that my brother would have trouble seeing as my SIL pretty much looks after the kids! However, I do feel quite strongly that both sets of parents should be equally as capable just so that they can deal with moments like this!!
>My kids always look like that when I am not home. The pajama drawer with non-matching stuff is perfect for every day of the week 🙂 I will go hide the mittens right now 😉
>Ha. When my sister and I were in elementary school my mom used to send notes with us if she ever went out of town because she was always afraid that someone would call child protective services if they saw us that week.And as I recall, it wouldn’t have been an unreasonable call to make. How something so simple as a ponytail holder eluded my very educated father, I’ll never know.
>I’m a SAHM so I do the lion’s share of childcare and housekeeping duties in my family. When I was in the hospital for a couple of days following the birth of my surrogate child my husband had to do it all ALONE. At one point my husband brought our two year old to visit me. She had food all over her face and her lovely curly red hair was in a giant tangled knot at the back of her head. I actually cried when I saw her. I cried even harder when he admitted that he had been running errands with her looking like that all day. I admit that the post-partum hormones probably had something to do with all th tears but come on, how hard is it to operate a brush and a washcloth?
>I loved the article, but became a bit miffed reading the comments. Hubs hired a sitter. LOL!
>Dude, why are so many people getting weird bees in their bonnet regarding your article? I thought it was great, and tongue in cheek. :)Your blog is great. I read often and don’t comment much because the browser on my phone makes it near impossible.Coming from a blended family myself, I find the humor you discover in yours to be great. Thanks for the laughs!
>Well, the people who comment on the NCP are more letters-to-the-editor types, I think. They like to argue about things and many of them are coming from a different perspective.
>Oh my… I do love this article, Lindsay. When I go to the library in the evening to work (once in a blue moon), you’d think I left them home alone for a week… oh well, there’s usually some appreciation after that. Glad you got to have an awesome getaway and party for a few days!!
>Well, when I went to the hospital to have my second, my husband parked our firstborn with his parents, so that doesn’t count. Since I work a swing shift, he does put the kids to bed several nights each week, but I always dress them in the morning. Hmmm, but when I took the kids with me on a trip to visit MY parents, he forgot to feed my daughter’s beloved Betta fish, so poor Bruce starved to death. His response:”Hey, at least your CAT is still alive!” He also killed my one-and-only houseplant. Sheesh.
>Well, I hadn't gone away, but a number of years ago I was in bed with a terrible case of the flu. I was seriously, deliriously, ill. When I finally stumbled downstairs about four days later, the boys were dressed in non-me-approved-for-school clothing, the kitchen was a mess, etc. He had, however, made them their lunches to take to school. PB&J. On stale hamburger buns. For three days. Because the store was SOOOO far away (one mile). There was no milk in the house either. STORE. ONE MILE AWAY.
>Man, those comments were scary. That is why I can back over here.I have to say that I think my husband does a pretty good job when I am not there. He can dress the kids just as good as me and has had much practice in feeding them. Where he falls short is his patience. He offer asks me why am I so frazzled at the end of my day dealing with a mini Drama Queen and the most stubborn little boy I have ever met. I explain that I have been patience, tried to keep my cool and “do the right thing”, but at the end of the day I am so DONE. It hasn’t cure him, but those days when I hand him the kids and wave good bye, I am sure to get a call or wrap up report of how it is so hard to deal with our daughter and son at once. And why are they like that? Then I smile and remind him that they need to be fed, given baths and put to bed and find a comfy place on the sofa with my laptop. The best advice I was ever given was not to interfer with my husband’s parenting technique. Instead I sweetly gave him advice and then laughed when the fireworks went off. He is still learning and our kids are 6 and 2 yrs old.
>my husband is a stay at home dad (and an awesome one at that), but i never, EVER leave the house without laying out clothes for my two girls. a few years ago, when my older daughter was just 2 (and still an only child) my husband brought her to meet me after work on our town’s main street. it’s a lovely little shopping area with lot of children’s boutiques (whose owners knew my daughter and i well) as i walked up to greet them, i caught my breath. there was my beautiful baby girl in .. oh dear .. in well, here goes: a stretchy ralph lauren cruisewear top in bright tropical colors (think BRIGHT greens, turquoises, yellows) with a pair of pants that i had bought to put away for the fall .. the cutest jeans adorned with ragged WOOL patches in autumnal colors (think burgundies and browns and burnt oranges) with . drumroll please .. the most delicate little basket weave sandals in LAVENDER. she still had the RED gros grain bow that i had layed out for her in the morning. (the one that went with her RED outfit)apparently she had had a finger paint disaster in her original outfit and my dear husband had decided to improvise. i grabbed the stroller and burned rubber as i pulled us into the nearest shop. the shopkeeper came over to greet us and .. i kid you not, i’m not making this up .. she looked down at my sweet baby girl in her stroller and her welcoming smile turned to a horrified grimace as she looked up at me and said, ‘oh dear, what happened?’
>Your comments are cracking me up! “STORE. ONE MILE AWAY.” I laughed out loud!
>It’s like this, when I first got married, my father-in-law called me aside. “Son,” he said, “If you do it RIGHT the first time, you’ll never have to do laundry again.”
>You post brings up so many memories…the times that Homer’s sent 1 YO Doodle to school in his Tigger jammies (“But they matched! Dude – have you seen the cute girls in his class? Let him have a Hef moment while he still can”) to to odd hair configurations on 4 YO Boo (“Hey! That style was in when WE were kids.”)Now that you mention it, it’s amazing how my MIL’s computer breaks down every time he has to stay home with the kids. Hmmm.
>Punky looks totally cute in that pic mismatched clothing and all.I used to care much more about what the kids should wear when we went out (and would put clothing out for them if hubby was on his own)…now it’s nothing but a thing to see me with my son, adorned in his spiderman costume at the grocery store. I figure other parents totally understand. 😉
>Honey is really good with Princess and I’ve only had to question what he put on her once. I think he mistook pajamas as real clothing that time.But I’ve been training him since her birth. I complain about not having enough time with them because we get out of the house late or make sure he knows when I’m skipping makeup or a shower before work because getting Princess ready is taking too much time.Being the loving husband he is Honey started helping out. After 3 years he knows how to navigate the preschool wardrobe and apply sunscreen each morning.Now the problem is that my child wants to dress herself. It can be a time saver but, as you know, the average preschooler has the fashion sense of a peacock – if it is bright and shiny they will wear it!
>Sometimes I tend to take things personally when it feels like my gender is getting slighted. I’m feeling like that now. I don’t pick on my wife when she can’t reason out a problem with her car; that’s not what she does, not what her schooling was for and was not any part of her professional career. She’s brilliant and I have loads of respect for her. But she’s not a mechanic. She would suck at it if she was given that job for a day. Or a weekend.However, being a psuedo-mechanic is one of the hats I have to wear in a day, so there should be some expectation of proficiency with me.I know your job is hard – but as such, you should not be surprised when someone unfamiliar with the workload and it’s intricacies flounders when they are given that job. Besides, mittens are cool. My daughter wore them yesterday. In 80 degree weather. Yes she did.
>Yes- I have learned the hard way and if I don’t want my kids to go to out of the house looking like orphans, I lay their clothes out for hubby to put on them- and then point them out…”these are the clothes they need to put on BEFORE they go”. Last time I forgot to do that, 5yo went to a backyard birthday party in the 90 degree weather wearing a turtleneck and fleece jumpsuit…”but they matched”, said he… Then there is the inability to feed the kids. Cell phone call,”how do you cook the rice-a-roni”. Hubby has a MASTERS DEGREE and cannot decipher the instructions on the side of the box with out me interpreting. Love him very much though, and to be fair, I can’t (or should I say don’t want to know how to) start the lawn mower and whenever I try to “fix” something… he usually needs to fix it again.BTW, what the heck with the commenters on NCP- sheesh!
>I’ve got a boring-as-hell story: when I go away for the w/e occasionally, I can usually count on coming home to a house that’s tidier than when i left. What does that say about me, exactly? Well, this is where I plead the fifth (and I’m not even American), and just talk about how great my Hubby is. And he is.
>It wasn’t a drawer of pj’s, it was a drawer of ZOOBAS!Glad you got a break, and that you now have someone to help with the milk. Everyday progress 😉
>I really think being a parent is a calling, and too many people are having kids simply because they feel pressured into doing it in order to be the “typical American family.”b sez Lindsey..I call those trophy children
>Sometimes my husband sayd that he wishes he could be the one to stay home with Sam, and I think ‘You have NO idea what you are talking about!’.
>What was wrong with Punky’s attire? Comfort over looks, I (almost) always say!
>I’ll trade ya…while I was in the hospital after the birth of my second child, my husband cut my oldest daughter’s bangs….to the middle of her forehead…I was thanking my lucky stars that her hair grew back quick.
>Mother-in-law is worse. When we had #3 she dressed 1&2 in what I call, "mud-pit play clothes." I have a basket of clothes I keep on top of their closet for rainy day outdoor play and painting and such. She had them come to the hospital in those clothes with their hair pulled into these crazy pigtails that an 80's hairband would covet. When you have 3 kids in as many years it is not fun to have your kids come to the hospital dressed as total white trash. Especially when you tell the OB that you don't need a prescription for birth control. ACK!
>Man, you guys had me feeling like a bad mother…umm, for like two seconds. I am a full-time mom of four toddlers that still makes time to write and sew, and let me tell you, pjs and mismatched play-clothes are commonplace for all of us. We look nice when we leave the house, but I see no reason to dress my kids in things they cannot ruin with finger-paints and dirt from the yard. Anyway, there’s my little rant;) Oh, and my kids love the mitten thing too…I just make them leave them at home unless it’s winter time;)
>Okay, so YOUR kids look nice when they leave the house? Punky DIDN’T. 🙂 She looked like a cavegirl. That’s the difference. And clearly, I didn’t care that much– I thought it was funny.Oh, and I got CALLED a bad mother yesterday, TO MY FACE. I’ll write a post about it as soon as I have one freaking second. 🙂
>Hey– new reader and I love your blog! I also read the article you linked to and I wanted to respond to the question you posed in the comments about the seeming animosity between the childless and “breeders” (btw never heard that term before and LOL’d). I don’t have kids and I don’t really plan to. Reading the comments to the article, a few of those people seemed to be really bitter about the whole kids thing, to the point that I think they must have some serious baggage there. I think their feelings are more harsh than they need to be, but at can at least sympathize with the sentiment a little bit. I haven’t read through your archives so I don’t know how old you were when you started having kids or if they were always the plan. As someone who is old enough to have kids and has no plans to, however, I can tell you that parents can often be really really inconsiderate in public. It seems to me like you’re a really good mom and you probably keep your kids in check in public. You’re the kind of mom I’d probably never even notice at the mall or in the grocery store. The moms (or dads) we no-kid folks notice are the BAD ones. The ones that let their kids RUN through restaurants or let them cry or make a mess. The ones that try to teach their kids a lesson in public at the expense of those around them (whether it be how to talk to other ppl or how to make change). I choose not to have children. I don’t like dealing with them. A lot of parents seem to have the attitude that it is the world’s obligation to deal with theirs. These are the ones that breed the annoyed feelings.
>Lindsay, your posts make me laugh out loud. I love it.My daughter has some of the same personality traits as Miss Punky!Keep writing,Kim
>I had to comment on this one! My children are adults now son 25 daughter 19.I will never forget when my daughter was born ,being the organized person I am ,left everthing hanging in his closet matching outfits! He arrived at the hospital in clothes I have never seen before not sure where they stopped befor they arrived at the hospital!My husband and I still laugh about it 25 years later. But nothing will match the outfit my husband brought to hspital when our daughter was sixteen and I was staying overnight a football jersey and spandex!