I'm Lindsay Ferrier, a Nashville writer with a passion for family travel, exploring Tennessee, and raising kids without losing my mind in the process. This is where I share my discoveries, along with occasional deep thoughts, pop culture tangents and a sprinkling of snark. Want to get in touch? Use the CONTACT form at the top of the page.
September 20, 2011
Even the word makes me cringe inside.
If we let ourselves think long enough about who has rejected us in our lifetimes, most of us could easily crawl back in bed and cry all day long. And each of us can trace that rejection back to a different source, whether it’s a boyfriend, husband, co-workers, friends, or family members.
It’s very tempting to play the role of expert here and write about the subject without going into any personal detail, but I’m just going to be honest: Rejection is one of my biggest struggles, particularly when it comes to my faith. That’s because the rejection I’ve faced in my life that’s hurt the most has come from other Christians.
Yeah. Let that one sink in for a minute.
I could tell you about the church mom’s group I joined shortly after having Punky– how they all made plans with each other in front of me and pointedly left me out, and how only one out of eight of them came to Punky’s first birthday party, the rest choosing to ignore the invitation altogether.
I could tell you about a devout Christian friend who called to chat several times a week, then unceremoniously dropped me when she finally got around to reading my blog.
And there are plenty of other stories, too, that I won’t get into here. I try not to dwell on them. The fact is that I’ve made plenty of friends through this blog and Punky’s school and extracurricular activities– friends who happily meet up with me or are ready for a good chat any time I call or e-mail them.
But I’ve had an intense longing to find a few good, real-life friends of faith. I’ve been seeking them earnestly. I’ve been left wondering if I scare them away because I don’t (and probably never will) fit into that mold of happy, shiny, seemingly-perfect Christian mother. And the repeated rejection I’ve faced from those who do has been HARD TO TAKE.
Those feelings of rejection came bubbling to the surface during the latest video session of Beth Moore’s “Living Beyond Yourself” Bible study, which a number of you are doing with me right now. The session was all about taking a good, hard look at those rejections from our pasts…
…and letting them go.
Beth made plenty of great points in her “Week Three” discussion on rejection, but what really stood out to me was this:
If love has never failed you, how can you ever come to appreciate God’s unfailing love?
Beth added that God may be allowing us to be rejected in order to fulfill a higher purpose for us. And that really hit home for me.
Do you know what I did after coming home from those playgroup meetings seven years ago, feeling ostracized and unwanted?
I started a blog called Suburban Turmoil.
Do you know what I did more recently after Christian women rejected my attempts to befriend them?
I began writing about my faith on this blog, and my feelings of rejection at the hands of other Christians. And hundreds of you responded, saying you felt the very same way.
Could it be that God might have been using that rejection to help me reach out to other women who feel like they’ve been blackballed by the ‘Christian Club?’
And there’s this: I have no doubt that if I had found that real-life group of friends, there’s no way I would have felt the need to host this online Bible Study right now. And from what I’m hearing, it’s changing a number of lives out there– mine and my husband’s among them.
Could it be that REJECTION was the catalyst for what’s happening at this very moment?
Wow, God. Just… Wow.
Now I want you to think back to the times you’ve been rejected. Looking back, did that rejection ultimately have a positive result? And if not, are you still hopeful for one?
*We’re in the fourth week of Beth Moore’s “Living Beyond Yourself” online study, but you can join at any time and go at your own pace. For more information on how to do that, go here.
*And if you’d like to join my Facebook group for women doing the study right now, e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll add you to the group!
Image via Sean MacEntee/Flickr