I'm Lindsay Ferrier, a Nashville writer with a passion for family travel, exploring Tennessee, and raising kids without losing my mind in the process. This is where I share my discoveries, along with occasional deep thoughts, pop culture tangents and a sprinkling of snark. Want to get in touch? Use the CONTACT form at the top of the page.
Everything I Thought I Knew About Marriage is Wrong
January 29, 2015
A couple of mornings ago, my husband and I were both getting ready in our bathroom. Without skipping a beat, he casually walked over to my side of the vanity, opened my drawer, and took out my deodorant. It all happened so quickly that I barely had time to react.
“Wait, wha–” I said, staring incredulously at his reflection in the mirror. “You’re not… you can’t… STOP! NO!”
It was too late. Before I could even make a desperate lunge, he had uncapped my deodorant and swiped it under both of his armpits. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” I cried, aghast.
“I was out,” he said, shrugging. “Besides, it’s not like I’m using your toothbrush or something.”
“I can’t even– That just–” I sputtered. “We do not share deodorant!”
“Um. We just did.”
“Well, now you’re keeping that one,” I said, “and you get to use it until it’s gone. Enjoy those Spring Flowers, baby.”
“Heh. I don’t think so. Anyway, I’ve got news for you,” he chuckled knowingly. “We’ve shared a lot more than deodorant!”
“That has nothing to do with anything!” I said. “Ask any of your friends and they will tell you that deodorant is not meant to be shared between a husband and wife!”
“Oh, really. Why not?’
“Bacteria!” I said. “And B.O…. molecules! And…. armpit pubes.” I suddenly had a flashback to the time I opened my deodorant a few months ago and found a wiry hair stuck in the goo.
“You’ve done this before, haven’t you?” I said accusingly.
“Me? No!” he said. “Of course not!”
“You have!”
“…Only when I run out!” he said. “Make sure that doesn’t happen and I’ll never have to use yours again!”
We were at an impasse. There was nothing more to say. But this doesn’t sit well with me, friends. I’d like to think I’m a generous person, quick to help others in need, and I’d give my husband a kidney without even hesitating if he needed it, but…
Deodorant? Seriously? Deodorant?
Leave a Reply Cancel reply
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
I’ve fallen victim to this too…the least they can do is leave it as they found it! No wiry hairs please.
Ew. Just ew.
Besides the gross factor… Telling you to make sure he doesn’t run out??? He’s not a big boy & can’t tell you he’s getting low??? I say hide yours from now on! Something that may help, go buy two of his deodorant, and once he finishes the 1st & starts to use the backup you know it’s time to get another backup.
I need to develop a deodorant cap padlock!
He can’t buy his own?!
Stock up on his deodorant! I keep a supply of male/boy supplies stocked under each sink in the house, along with toothbrushes, shampoo and razors. I don’t want to share anything in the bathroom with my husband or my boys! I buy in BULK!!
I don’t see the big deal. We do that all the time.
Apparently, so does my husband. 🙂
Are married to the same man?! Mine doesn’t just put it on his pits tho….
What?! Where else does he put it?!
Some men sweat “down there” and they apply gold bond or deodorant to prevent chafing. I’m sure you’re sorry you asked ;).
Yuck 🙁
You are a retard!! God forbid he goes down on you! You would probably freak out or just be grossed out! Either way your an idiot!
We share deodarant. I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s applied after the shower.
Yup my fiancee did that too. I told him the same thing and he did use it until it was gone! Stick to your guns or put a lock on your bathroom drawer.
My hubby is a little bit of a germ freak and is totally grossed out by the idea of sharing deoderant with me. HOWEVER. Toothbrushes? Different story. On our honeymoon I dropped my toothbrush on the bathroom floor and he promptly pounced on it and tossed it in the trash before I could rescue it. I indignantly announced “Well then let’s go to the resort store and I’ll just get a new toothbrush.” His response? “Everything in there is so overpriced! No way. We’ll just share mine.” WHAT? No. Ew. Gross. I AM NOT USING YOUR TOOTHBRUSH. Then he says “Babe…we’re married…” Ugh, I guess he had a point. I put up with sharing a toothbrush for a few days. But never again. He has his quirks, I have mine. We don’t ask questions. We just go with it. LOL
🙂
I had a bf and we shared deodorant because we both liked different smells. His favorite was actually a Donna Karen for women.
Armpits aren’t that gross unless you don’t wear deodorant.