>He Loves Me. He Loves the Bellacino’s Girl.
>”Lindsay,” Hubs said in a rush over the phone the other night, “I just told the girl at Bellacino’s that I loved her.”
My knees buckled and I clutched the back of an armchair for support. This was totally unexpected. I had always thought I would just know if my husband was having an affair. I’d see the lipstick on his collar, or smell a whiff of unfamiliar perfume, or sense a certain distance that hadn’t been there before. (No, I don’t think about this kind of thing, ever. Clearly.) But apparently, I was wrong. So very, very wrong. I hadn’t even noticed any extra Bellacino’s receipts in his pants pockets! How did it happen? When did it happen?! And how could he be so casual about this thing, anyway?
“Mggh, fugh. Hizzle!” I gasped, trying to come up with something appropriately vindictive.
“I called in my sandwich order,” he continued, not hearing me, “and I was thinking about how I was going to hang up and call you next. And then she gave me my total and I said, ‘Thanks! I love you! Bye!’ I can’t believe I did that!”
I breathed a sigh of relief, then took a deep breath to compose myself. And then I laughed.
“I can believe it!” I said. “I can’t count how many times I’ve almost done the same thing on the phone with the handyman or the doctor’s office or something.”
“Me too,” Hubs said. “Only this time, I actually did it. It’s so embarrassing! Because now I have to go in there and pick up my sandwich.”
Crisis averted. Marriage saved. Bellacino’s girl unharmed, which is good because she was this close to getting pelted by a bunch of rotten grape tomatoes, a raw chicken that’s one week past its sell-by date, and a six-pack of outdated Dora drinkable yogurts, while the kids waited outside in the car.
Not that I’m the jealous type.
>I signed an e-mail Love, Jenn once to someone that I clearly was in no position to be loving. Aaack!
>That’s ok. I invited one my husband’s friends to bed the other night. At 2am, our weather radio went off and woke me up. I noticed hubs wasn’t in the bed. In a sleep induced stupor and without my coke bottle glasses (incredibly nearsighted), I stumbled out to the pitch dark living room and could make out a figure on the couch. Hubs obviously! I put my hands on either side of the person and whispered “Why don’t you come to bed?”Said person shot up and started stammering “No! No! It’s Trevor! It’s Trevor!”. Then he ran towards the front door and left! Left! ***Apparently, hubs had a friend over to watch the NBA finals. I went to bed early. Friend fell asleep on the couch and hubs didn’t wake him up. Hubs was for some bizarre reason asleep in the guest room. WTF. This is not a normal night at our house.Frankly, I just counted my lucky stars I had been wearing a half-way decent set of pajamas (although I was ehm.. commando and braless. I was especially grateful, I hadn’t tried to wake up “hubs” with a big old kiss.
>Lol, I have to stop myself daily from signing work emails “LU” because that’s what I say to my hubby, mom, best friend, sisters, etc. When you say it that often, it becomes second nature! 🙂 Beckyhttp://www.stinkylemsky.typepad.com/
>We’ve all been there at some point.The trick is to pretend it didn’t happen and let the other person question their sanity.
>Gertie, I am laughing out loud at your comment- and I am at Starbucks writing, so that is not good! 😀
>I’ve done it on numerous occasions. At this point, I ‘ve stopped even being embarrassed.
>Gertie’s story is the best!I’m always telling my brother-in-law, “I love you.” at the end of a phone call b/c he sounds just like my husband, and I don’t usually talk to him on the phone. He always answers with, “That’s nice.” which is what he said the first time I said it when my husband I were first engaged.
>Ack! Poor guy. How embarrassing!I bet it made the girl’s day though – she probably got a good chuckle out of it.
>Wow! I thought I was the only one. I’ve been known to say it to people at the drive-through windows. Which sucks, because then I have to go to the McDonalds in another town for several months, because of my shame.
>Gertie’s story cracked me up!
>I don’t know why Gertie doesn’t have a blog. Her comments are often WAY funnier than my posts!
>I’ve said it to the page operator at the hospital.We do it because we’re thinking of you (or are paged/emailed/called-on-our-cell by you) while we are talking to someone else on the phone.That reflex pathway is primed. It happens.-Shrug-
>Thanks for the giggles!! Between you and Gertie, I about fell off of my chair at work. I’ve told people that I don’t know that I love them, inadvertantly, of course. Felt like a dork afterwards.
>My best friends are husband and wife. I spend just as much time with one as with the other. I occasionally say a casual “love ya” to the both of them as we’re hangnig up from a phone conversation (we talk on the phone a lot). The guy and I kind of stumbled the first time it happened, but fortunately, we can laugh about it. We SO do not have any kind of romantic relationship!
>As I am a college student, I am always sending off e-mails at all hours. So, during finals last semester, I was sending out lots of e-mails to friends and family that I wasn’t going to be seeing over Christmas – just to check in.And when I saw a completely composed, open draft of the e-mail I had apparently composed to my stats professor, I signed off with a quick “love you, promise i’ll call soon” and hit send. OMG. This professor is an absolute HUNK in his late 20s who was about to marry his wife, who I know as well. Talk about humiliation. I could have died – at the time. Looking back, it’s hilarious. Their weddding was lovely, and I had no “objections” and didn’t have to worry about holding my peace or anything… hehe
>My father married a woman way younger than he, and only a couple of months older than my wife.I sound just like my father on the phone.I just e-mail my father now.
>My boyfriend took my cat to the vet once, and didn’t remove the note I had left on the carrier for him.”Thanks so much, sweetie! Love, B.”Now, the vet was not only married, but I was his daughter’s teacher and saw his wife every day.When I spoke with my bf and realized he hadn’t noticed the note, I called the vet’s office to make sure they knew the note was for Boyfriend, not Vet.I got the cat back later that day, the note still attached, but now below my words was written, “You’re welcome, sugarplum! Love, Jamesy”
>Your stories are cracking me up! I had no idea this was so common.
>This is funny. 🙂 I also had a minor slip in the workplace. I sometimes slip in between a conversation the word, “Daddy”. My co-worker would look at me in surprise. Looks like I’m missing hubby a lot. Hahaha. 🙂
>HA! I just read on my mom’s blog recently that she damn near told her boss that she loved him when she hung up the phone one day because she had just talked to my stepdad. Nice mom… LOL
>Pish tosh. It’s much easier to find an established blog and uhmm….mooch..err contribute. :)We haven’t heard from Trevor since that night by the way.
>I’ve never said, “I Love you”, but I have accidentally called neighbors, my brother-in-law, and complete strangers, “Honey”. Just as embarrassing, believe me.
>Well it’s a good thing my husband rarely says he loves me so this will never happen to him and if it does, then there is more to it than just an accident lol
>Haha! That is so funny. I have almost done that before, but caught myself in an almost equally awkward way of saying, “I lo…thanks!”Same goes for e-mails. I always automatically type “Love,” at the end, but have to check so that I don’t send it!
>I have almost done that so many times! I’m really bad about signing cards or notes “Love, Erin”. I do it all the time! Luckily my friends are used to it so none of them think i’m after their husbands!
>My husband answered his work phone with a dirty phrase for me, only to discover it was his boss! I have laughed to no end at that one. He will be glad to know he isn’t the only one who screws up! HA!
>Oh yeah, been there. I told one of my staff that last week – we’d been on the phone for ages sorting out a problem and I finished off with “okay, that sounds good. Love you, bye.” There was total silence and then she burst out laughing, LUCKILY!!!
>To all the girls I’ve loved before…just like that 😉
>It probably happens to her all the time.
>When I’m REALLY tired, I sometimes finish a converstion not with “Bye” but with “Amen” which makes me sounds like some crazed religious nut.
>No need to be embarrassed, Mrs. Schmitty – if you’re in the south, that’s what you’re SUPPOSED to call everybody!
>My husband and I exchange several emails a day, and we always sign them with kisses (:X:X:X:X:X). I wonder how many times I’ve signed a professional email this way?! We also kiss when we ride together, before exiting the vehicle. I’ve actually leaned over to kiss my mother, my father, a coworker, and probably a friend (always catch myself before planting one though, thank goodness!). Oh, and I won’t mention the butt-slapping that goes on in the kitchen…
>My former boss used to do that to me all the time. He’d call from home or somewhere else and as he would hang up he’s say “Love you. Bye.” We were good friend (but not in THAT way) we so we always got a good laugh about it.A former boss of mine told the gourmet food buyer at Lord and Taylor that he loved her. I was standing outside his office when he did it and he turned beet red.
>This reminds me of the Papa John’s guy who delivered our pizza the other night. He appeared kind of nervous–maybe he was new to the job. As he was leaving, he said, “Thanks. Bye. Drive carefully!” I answered, “Um, okay.” Thankfully, I managed to save my giggles until AFTER I had shut the door.
>This past tax season, I called our tax guy and had to leave a long message, closed with’love. bye’
>Well there is something you can hold over his head, as a joke of course!
>Gertie that’s priceless! My brother did this to me once. We were talking about Father’s Day and he signed off with, “love you babe,” which was clearly intended for his girlfriend!
>I’ve been dating a wonderful man for over a year and we are both very affectionate to each other on the phone. So, my ex-husband and I were on the phone one day discussing a situation with our son and at the end of the conversation I said, “It will be okay, honey, I love you, talk to you later.” Stunned silence from the ex, and then I quickly hung up. Ugh. My friends and family LOVE that story.
>Ohmyword, you people have some funny stories! I think my husband would be in more danger of doing this than me, since in our sign-off “rhythm” he says “Love you” first then I respond. But if someone said it to me, I’d probably say it right back to them.
>I did something similar the other day and called someone Sweetie. I’m so used to saying it to my hubs.
>Same thing happened to me at work one day. I had just got off the phone with my husband when one of the guys in the office called and when I answered his question I told him I loved him. He didn’t respond thank goodness!!!!
>hilarious! What did he say when he went to pick up his sandwich?
>I had a customer say he LOVED me today, never talked to him before – obviously he’s like you folks or easily impressed with my sales help!!! LOL
>In the same vein… Our family doctor is married to one of my best friends, and we have children the same ages, have vacationed together as families, known each other for years. A couple of years ago, after an examination and pap smear (yeah, I know– nothing like sitting down to dinner with someone who’s looked up your hoo-ha with a spotlight.) I was getting ready to leave his office and we were giving each other the perfunctory, completely innocent hug and air-kiss. Except that we both turned the same direction and landed one right on the lips. In front of the nurse. The worst part is, we were both so surprised and unsure of just how THAT happened that from then on, every time we say goodbye, in full view of our respective spouses and whoever else is in sight, we now feel compelled to give each other an awkward, pursed lip, grandmother-type peck on the lips. I guess neither one of us wants to be the one that suddenly stops greeting the other one that way. It would feel like we broke up or something.
>This is so funny I’m laughing uproariously. I’m with Kit. When I was a teenager and quite the church-goer, I would sometimes slip up and end my calls to the pizza place with “Thanks! In Jesus’ name, Amen.” Then I would turn red, feel ridiculous and send someone else to pick up the pizza.
>I came for the post — and stayed for the comments! These are such funny stories. I wonder how the Bellacino’s Girl reacted?
>These are so funny. I haven’t told any strangers or co-workers that I love them but the comment about the pizza place and delivery guy reminded me of when I went to pick up a called in pizza and spent 20 minutes waiting while they searched for the order or the pizza. The gal came back to the counter and said she had called the OTHER pizza place up the street and found my order. duh. I lied and said the Feller called it in and told me the wrong place.yeah. I’m a blonde.
>I’m reading this while catching up on your year of blogging and had to add a comment…My husband has done this exact same thing..TWICE! With me standing in the room! Once, to his boss…the other time…TO HIS EX-WIFE! The latter took me some time to recover from! He was horrified as well!