I'm Lindsay Ferrier, a Nashville writer with a passion for family travel, exploring Tennessee, and raising kids without losing my mind in the process. This is where I share my discoveries, along with occasional deep thoughts, pop culture tangents and a sprinkling of snark. Want to get in touch? Use the CONTACT form at the top of the page.
August 27, 2008
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“I don’t know how your daughter is at home,” the elderly man said as he passed me at the soccer game, “but she sure was a sweet girl at our house.”
Those words gave me a warm feeling inside. The man was the grandfather of another team member, whose mom had hosted all her teammates, including my 15-year-old stepdaughter, for a pre-game meal that afternoon.
As parents, many of us do all we can to make sure our children are polite at home, but the true test is in their actions when they’re in the homes of others. I’ve reluctantly hosted many a friend of my girls’ who was uncommunicative, who didn’t say please or thank you, who wouldn’t look or speak to me, even as I dropped them off at the movies or their homes. Some of these kids have parents who make a big show of being “involved”- They chair committees and loudly state their opinions at every parents’ meeting.
But when I spend time with a child and see that she’s been taught no real manners whatsoever, I have to wonder what goes on in her home when there’s no audience watching and exclaiming over her parents’ every move.
I think much better of the parent with the good-natured, friendly child, who looks me in the eye and is polite. Don’t we all? I know some children are shyer than others, but every kid can be taught to say please and thank you, to clean up after herself, and to thank a parent for having her before she leaves. I’ve had so many parents come up to me and tell me how much they enjoyed having my girls over for sleepovers or parties and that, for me, is a tremendous vote of confidence in what we’re doing here at home. I write a lot here about the many mistakes that I make as a stepmother- sometimes, it’s nice to realize that I must be doing a few things right, too.
This post originally appeared on Parents.com.
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