>On the Rocks
>Dear God,
I know I cuss too much and tend to drink two Hardcore Ciders when one would have sufficed, but I hope you won’t hold that against me now. I need Your help, Lord. Yes, again.
You know how Hubs made whitewater rafting reservations for us this week? Well, he just informed me that our trip is down a new river, one we’ve never rafted before- not the gentle Class 2 and Class 3 rapids I’m used to… But Class 4.
CLASS. FOUR.
I need you to promise me, God, that this won’t be me come the end of the week….
I’m serious. Send Your burliest guardian angels to protect me. Better yet, feel free to just part that river and let us walk through. I mean, come on. You did it for Moses!
Oh, Lord, I know the wicked deflate and founder, so with that in mind, I’m going to try my best to be righteous this week so that You’ll save me and mine on our trip down the rapids.
I will build my house upon the rock (assuming You see it in Your great wisdom to send enough money for us to build a new house!!!) if You’ll just keep our raft far away from them.
Yours in religiosity,
Lindsay
>You are a much more open-minded person than I am. My prayer would have been:Dear God,Please keep my husband safe while he goes rafting ALONE and without ME.Amen and all that,Jen
>DEAR LINDSAY,GONE KAYAKING WITH VISHNU. WAS GOING TO PRAY TO YOU TO KEEP VISHNU FROM DOING THAT ROLL UNDER WATER THING. LOL. BE BACK NEXT WEEK.GOD
>Im jealous, I L.O.V.E. white water rafting, and am desperately waiting til my youngest is old enough to take some family trips. Have fun!! Dont forget to buy those pictures, where the person on the rock near the biggest rapid takes professional shots, and then charges an arm and a leg….totally worth it.
>I get nervous on Thunder River at Six Flags so I would never in hell go rafting. You are so brave! Good luck!
>I absolutely love it! I applaud you too because, anything more than the bath tub is way too much water for me! God bless ya, and we need to start a prayer chain for those needing the Lord to help them stop cursing. I know I sure need him to help me too!
>My father-in-law had a saying, “Only the good die young, and I am no damn good.”So if what you say is true, then you have nothing to worry about. :)Just in case, May God and the Force be with you.
>Hey, that first pic looks like the Kaituna River in New Zealand. I’ve been over that very waterfall. It’s the highest commercially run waterfall in the world, so that’s as bad as it gets. I’ve got the same picture, only with me in the front of the boat wondering, “Why? Why? Why?”By the way, you can’t get away from the rocks. When you’re floating downstream in a life jacket, they beat the hell out of your legs. So stay in the raft at all costs.So, anyway, have fun Lindsay.
>aye yay yay! will pray too…sending my shouts out…too bad you’re not cruising down the broad river in ga where, in drought times, you get to drag your boat past fishermen that look like the backwoods cast from deliverance and who emit low whistles as you stagger by fearing for your life…an outtake from my fourth of july kayaking episode one year.
>Best Wishes!
>You are going to have soooo much fun!
>I don’t like choppy waters while riding leisurely on a PONTOON BOAT! ;)I will drink three Hardcore Ciders for you (love that stuff) AND pray for you.
>I will definitely pray for you but he should go ALONE. He didn’t consult you when he changed plans. Not cool. We enjoy you and your wonderful writing and don’t want you to risk your life or health. It’s not worth it.
>I’m jealous, too! I love rafting, and with a good guide, I’m sure you’ll do great! Just remember to keep paddling–that’s the best way to stay in the boat. :)(And think of the bragging rights you’ll be able to claim–not to mention leverage you can use to get your husband to agree to your next crazy vacation idea!)
>Ooooh, scary! 🙂 Beckyhttp://www.stinkylemsky.typepad.com/
>You will love it. You will come home and brag about it. I can’t wait to read THAT post.
>Haha! Oh my god! Good luck. I’m sure everything will be fine.
>Make your husband sit in the very back, and you sit in the middle. That way he gets thrown out, and you don’t.
>That is absolutely the funniest thing I have read all day!! jenontheedge’s prayer would have been mine too (assuming I had a hubs) but I know you will have a ball. Rafting is so much fun! I’ve never done a class 4 before, but I know you and the fam will have a blast! I’ll have a fermented bev for you while you are gone! 🙂
>I would rather be tossed from a boat into rapid waves, than thrown from a plane with a parachute.
>I hope your life insurance is paid up.HA HA HAYou’ll do fine! It will be exciting and fun! Really!My only advice is braid your hair and wear sunscreen. And a helmet, wet suit and life vest, of course. Don’t forget your St. Cristopher’s medal. And any and all other lucky charms.
>OH, so JEALOUS!! I haven’t rafted since before Sweetie was born, and the last time we hit the Gauley in West VA. It was so stinking awesome I still think about it. I’m not an adrenaline junkie, but I absolutely LOVE whitewater rafting. I’ve done almost every big river on the east coast. Gosh, I’m so envious right now. Have an awesome time.
>LOL….you have fun and be careful 😉
>lucky you! what’s next, bungee jumping?
>I’m scared in Class 2. My ex used to do 4 and occasionally 5’s.Well, Lindsay, it was nice knowin’ ya.
>Um, yeah—I’m with whoever said the prayer would be all for hubby, shooting those Class 4 bad boys ALONE! I admit it–I’m a huge weenie. But being dead just doesn’t sound like much fun.Seriously, I’m sure you’ll be fine and have a blast.
>God be with you 🙂 LOLOn another note, I think someone at the post office must have up and snatched my plant based water bottles from your giveaway. I don’t blame them though seeing as how it’s be hot as hell around here. So just wanted to let you know why I hadn’t emailed to thank you.Have a fun/safe/conscious trip!
>I prayed for God to send his angels to protect one area of my life. Years passed and all was well. Then I felt bad and sort of prayed once morning that if his angels had more important matters to attend to . . . they should do so. The area of my life hit disaster. So keep your prayer and don’t let it go! 🙂
>Aaahhh… making deals with God… My deal was the opposite. I wanted to sell the house and go white water rafting all summer. We sold the house… so far no white water. Damn.GOOD LUCK!