>Back in high school, where sexual misinformation spread through the halls like bad gas after a chili cook-off, I got my first lesson in the torturous agony of the blueball. “Whatever you do, don’t lead a guy on if you’re not planning to do anything with him,” a guy friend once warned me. “Why not?” […]

> It’s time again for the one, the only… Lucinda’s Advice Column Bad Googlers. Good laughs. Roadkill makeup Arbonne- Cranston, RI Itchy balls Arbonne- Auburn, WA Ah, Arbonne. I write one post about a friend-turned-Arbonne-makeup-consultant and suddenly, Arbonne friends and foes are coming out of the woodwork. You wouldn’t believe how many consultants have tried […]

>Last night, I pulled out a cookbook given to me by my high school friend, Cindy. Re-reading her loopy handwriting on the inside cover, I thought about how much fun we’d had in high school. Man, I miss Cindy, I thought. I wonder why we haven’t talked in so long? Then I remembered. Betch never […]

>When my 15-year-old stepdaughter was five or so, she landed the role of a teddy bear in a local production of Babes in Toyland. The performance has grown legendary in her mind. Many pictures were taken, which still routinely make their way out of the photo box today when 15 pores over the visual evidence […]

>A few weeks ago, 15 and I were dropping 12 off at a friend’s house when we saw him. Cinderella. In the flesh. Sitting on his front porch. Longtime readers will recall when I discovered that the lead singer from the 80s heavy metal band Cinderella lives in a cookie cutter subdivision a few houses […]

>Baby’s favorite toy right now is her dollhouse, especially after we “customized” it for her second birthday. The dollhouse came with a standard family of mother, father, brother and sister. We bought another doll that looks like her 15-year-old sister and a baby doll, as well as a dollhouse-sized nursery set complete with crib, changing […]

> Surprise time. A few fabulous blogging friends and I have been working on a new venture. We call it Mamarazzi. Because seriously, celebrity parenting is sooooo easy to snark. It’ll be updated daily and we’ve been working on it for a few weeks so there’s plenty to read- and mock- already. Check it out- […]

>I laugh now to think of what a crazy overprotective mom I was during Baby’s first year. I carried antibacterial wipes with me everywhere I went and thought nothing of wiping down shopping carts, toys and even other children who looked a little germy. I made my older girls wash their hands about every five […]

>For those of you who insist on asking “When are you going back to work again?” every time you see me, here is the carpool schedule I just made detailing my stepdaughters’ activities during the next three days. This of course does not include taking care of my two-year-old, preparing meals for everyone, doing laundry […]

> I met him at work. Eyes dancing, we flirted over my cubicle, each trying to outdo the other with witty one-liners and mock insults. Before long, we were meeting for drinks after work and talking, talking, talking until the dumpster trucks groaned outside and the sun crouched just beneath the horizon. We’d slog off […]