>The Mother’s Movement Online has devoted an entire issue to moms who blog. Does that rock or what? With articles by such Internet luminaries as Asha Dornfest (who writes about the mommy blogging “in-crowd”) and Andi Buchanan (ahem. Literary Mama?), you will definitely want to check it out. Oh and hee. They stuck me in […]

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February 20, 2006

>Cool.

> “Look, Baby, it snowed!” “Whoa.” “It’s snow! Can you say ‘snow?” “Nose.” “No, snow.” “Nose.” “SSSSSnowwwww.” “NOOOOOOO!!!! Nose.” ——————————– What is it about three inches of snow on the ground that makes me want to stuff my face full of food all day? I haven’t eaten this much since I was eight months pregnant. […]

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February 18, 2006

>Snow Day

>After four long years of waiting, the moment is almost upon us. Next week, the best female figure skaters in the world will compete for the gold medal. And I am about to pee my pants with excitement. I’ve tuned in and out of the other Winter Olympics events. But women’s figure skating… Well, I’ve […]

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February 17, 2006

>Schadenfreude

>There’s nothing that can reduce me to a quivering, heart-racing lump like the sound of my own doorbell. You know what I mean? You’re home alone, expecting no one, when the doorbell rings. If you’re like me, you don’t answer it. It’s not safe for one thing and for another, you’re wearing a Milwaukee Hurling […]

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February 16, 2006

>Knock Knock.

>The rumor is that Mrs. Kennedy’s t-shirts make your boobs look bigger. Ask anyone who owns one. Yet despite the shirt’s mystical powers, for months, I resisted buying one. “Writing well is the best revenge,” the shirts say. While I appreciate the sentiment, I don’t know if I actually agree with that statement. I always […]

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February 15, 2006

>Behold! The Miraculous Powers of the Fussy Shirt!

> All right. I’ve heard your complaints. Your husband’s out of town. You don’t have a boyfriend. You have a sick baby (Wait. That’s me). For all you women out there hoping for a little action on this Valentine’s Day, help is on the way. I pulled a few strings and found a group of […]

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February 14, 2006

>Because I Love You

>This morning, Baby woke up worse than ever. She slumped around for a while and refused to eat or drink anything. “Baby, does your throat hurt?” I asked her. “Yah,” she said mournfully. Strep throat! It must be strep throat! “Do your ears hurt?” “Yah, Mm hmm.” She tugged at her ears. Ear infection. Oh […]

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February 13, 2006

>Poor Baby

>A single tear rolled down Lucinda’s alabaster cheek as she sank despondently into the down velvet pillows of her window seat and morosely stared at the formal gardens outside. “Oh Muse, Muse!” she muttered weakly. “Why have you forsaken me?” Crumpled bits of paper littered the Aubusson rug at her tiny feet. Lucinda rested her […]

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February 12, 2006

>In Which Our Heroine Loses Her Shit (Again)

I imagine that if I am a very, very bad girl, I will die and meet my eternal doom inside a Kroger supermarket, where the clock is forever set to exactly three hours before a blizzard is scheduled to hit. Like a suburban Scrooge, I was given a sneak preview of what my special hell […]

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February 11, 2006

3-6 Inches Never Looked So Good

>I was four when I first heard The Voice. It swirled out of the speakers of my mom’s Oldsmobile like a balmy breeze, making my toes curl with pleasure. ”Sailing takes me awayyyyy to where I’ve always heard it could beeee…” “Who’s singing that, Mommy?” I asked, struggling up from my reverie and dangling my […]

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February 11, 2006

>Star Cross’d