Things Have Gotten Super Weird in the Target Women’s Department
Target isn’t my favorite place to shop for clothes, but it’s hard to resist checking out the women’s clothing section when I’m there. Sometimes, I’ll find something cute and on trend at a good price — but this season, things seem to have taken a turn.
I knew something very strange was happening at Target when pictures of these acid washed, button-fly jeans appeared on my Facebook feed three separate times after various freaked-out shoppers spotted them on the racks.
It was clear I needed to launch an investigation and find out what exactly was going on at my beloved Tar-zhay. I headed straight over, armed with my camera phone and a credit card, just in case. What I saw scarred me for life:
As soon as I entered the store, I saw these high-top sneakers and shrieked involuntarily from aerobics-induced PTSD.
As the former owner of three Jane Fonda VHS tapes, I’m here to tell you we cannot go back to these days, y’all. My glutes can’t take it.
But if Target has any say in the matter, we have no choice.
Because they’ve also brought back bodysuits, you guys — bodysuits that look eerily like the hideous Swimsuit of Shame my dad bought me at the beach back in 1984 when I forgot to pack one for the trip. Thanks, Target, for that walk down Memory Lane.
And speaking of memories…
Really, Target? REALLY? There is only one person in America who is qualified to buy and wear this vest.
And he is called The Boss for a reason.
BUT WAIT. THERE’S MORE.
CABOODLES are now in stock at Target. I guess I’ll have to stock up on Scrunchies and a rainbow assortment of Wet n’ Wild eyeliner now so I’ll have something to put in mine.
‘Oh Lindsay,’ I bet some of you are saying right now. ‘You’re so dramatic. The 80s weren’t that bad. Acid wash was bound to come back into fashion at some point… and it’s not like Target’s trying to sell us clown suits or something!’
Oh yeah?
Think again, friends.
Target is indeed selling clown suits to women this season. Lots and lots of them. And if you’re wondering exactly how you’re supposed accessorize a danged clown suit, well Target’s got the answer…
Yep.
THEY’RE BA-ACK!
You’ll have to get right over your Bozophobia if you want to shop at the ‘Zhay this season, because it’s a freaking circus in the women’s department right now.
These prints are so bright, you’ll have to wear shades.
And the tops Target has designed to go with these clown pants are just as bad.
Take it from one who successfully rocked this top many years ago — He has some THOUGHTS now about Target’s Fall 2018 line…
I literally can. not. wait. to show up at car rider pick up in this outfit.
“Hey, kids! Who’s ready for some Sunny D?”
But if clowns aren’t your thing, Target does have other options…
There’s WESTERN WEAR!
And MOM JEANS FOR DAYS!
And for work, there are BUSINESS CAPRIS, which you can pair with a polyester floral shirt only your grandmother could love!
There’s … Well, I don’t really have a name for this look.
Dressing in the Dark, perhaps?
This outfit just SCREAMS “I let my four-year-old choose my clothes today!”
And then there’s the most radical look of the fall 2018 season…
THE BOOB BAG.
If you read this blog, you’ve seen the boob bag before and no doubt you’ll probably be seeing it again soon in person. Because once it hits Target, IT’S OFFICIALLY A THING.
The good news? Well, there is no good news. Unless you’re broke — In which case, BY ALL MEANS go shopping in the Target women’s department! Try on a few Bert-n-Ernie tops and clown pants! Parade around the dressing room in a leopard-print bodysuit and sandals-with-socks! You will never feel LESS TEMPTED to buy new clothes!
The bad news? My trust connection with the Target women’s department is now irrevocably destroyed.
I’m still a fan of its bath mats though, so there’s that…
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My fashionista 20-year-old daughter literally asked for a fanny pack for her birthday. She loves mom jeans, and she’d wear that striped jumpsuit, too, only she’s 6′ tall and skinny and would look amazing in it. The 80s are back, baby, only now we’re too old to pull off the look! 😛
Perhaps Barnum and Bailey’s dropped the elephants and picked up a Target partnership. I suppose clowns need to get their clothes somewhere too. These clothes might make sense if they are just sold for Halloween as Target’s costume assortment.
I like how Target’s new line is actually more fashionable than before. Maybe it’s a city thing, but I don’t find these clothes to be questionable at all.
Actually laughing out loud. This is the best!
Just a lot of 50 something buyers.
Now I have to watch “The Breakfast Club“ again.
To be fair, the Wild Fable label is for teens. It’s meant to be trendy. The cut is for girls 12-18 and that’s what they’re wearing today. “Mommy” jeans and pants are coming back because the high waist tucks in those muffins and is more flattering. The sweatshirt and floral skirt is what I’ve seen in high school and college campuses. Fashion is cyclical. Target has plenty of other fashion options that aren’t pictured. There’s lots of basics that sell for very good prices.
What a joke I would never put my kid in any of those clothes! You my friend are hilarious & some of these people need to get a sense of humor!
I think if fashion makes you angry, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG. 😂
I love that these styles have return and I rock a fanny pack proudly. Just not on my boobs.
Ummm
Wow
So almost no one commenting here has any clue what the current trends are for 15-25 year old girls? What they are selling is straight from the most current streetwear. The context is a mixture of irony, whimsy, vintage throwback, a little rebellious. Some started w young
girls buying used classic Levi’s and cuffing the pant legs and trying to put use to garments sourced from Goodwill and St.Vincent. Target is actually surprisingly on top of the trends. But if people
commenting are not spending time in Major cities?? The buyers are probably in their 20’s.
Or maybe it’s just hilarious to those of us who wore and then rejected the originals when they went out of style.
I laughed out loud while reading this article. I think it’s hilarious when people (adults or teens) buy into the fashion industry’s marketing of recycled styles as something fresh and new. This stuff was ugly and unflattering in the 80s and it’s still ugly and unflattering today.
I’m so glad it isn’t just me that noticed this! I walked into Target to buy toilet paper and cereal and saw the early 90’s we’re back, and NOT in a good way! You didn’t mention the cropped sweaters, strappy backpack pouches, the acid wash baggy overalls and the stirrup pants! The western shirts reminded me of the Little House on the Prairie ruffled shirt trend of the early 80’s. Don’t get me started on the 70’s inspired tennis skirts. I was like, Target, you on some kind of acid trip!
FBI statistics show the third most common place for a rapist to find a victim is the ladies room. So to all the ignorant people screaming at you for being a good mom, let them use the ladies rooms where men are allowed. I’ll keep my daughters safe.
Me too. You’re completely right.
Eeek
hahaha you’ve just gotten old enough to be freaked out by the fact that retro includes eccentricities from an era in which you have lived!
take a moment and have empathy now for those of us seeing these
fashions from the perspective of the 3rd time around!!!
I avoid shopping at Target for almost anything, due to their bathroom policy! Don’t care what they carry!
I bet my mom still has some of my “vintage” clothes from Jr high & high school at her house…maybe I can market them as “gnarly, bitchin’, rad, totally tubular” or whatever slang the kids are “reinventing” these days instead of hey you looking for a gag Halloween Costume?!?! LOL
Nailed it. My 17 year old is all over these looks — I’ve watched her jeans creep up and up and up her midsection. Fanny pack, scrunchy, acid wash, Bert and Ernie stripes… all of it lives on her floor.
No thanks -once you’ve worn a style,
You aren’t allowed to wear it again when it comes round again. To young girls they’ve never seen this look, so they think it’s all awesome and want to rock it. I was rolling my eyes when they started wearing high waisted pants as they look so silly. Sadly it means we are getting older and getting shoved into another clothing department that I call Lame.
I’m so happy to have stumbled on your blog. I had a good laugh and decided to never shop at Target.
Have a great day from Quebec, Canada.
Sorry, but are you all in the mid West? I see these pictures on your sites, but honestly have never seen these horrible combos in Southern California. No one would be caught dead in these outfits.
If desperate, check qvc or something on TV. Much more current. Mizrahi, Mackie, Rivers, Halston. No one should depend on Target.
someone obviously found some forgotten shipping containers in the back of an abandoned warehouse in Taiwan; Target, which has had to close a few stores lately, got wind of this and probably figured what the hell, why not? They had to get it for practically free, so they’ll make a few bucks just from kids buying this stuff for Retro Day at school…well played, Target, keep mining those abandoned warehouses.
Tessa, these pictures were actually taken in Nashville… so expect to see these looks come to Southern California in the next several months. 🔥 🔥 🔥 😂
Love this. Every Monday I go to Target and find the most atrocious outfit to try on. Snap a picture and share with Facebook friends. It’s hilarious.
… but ya gotta admit fanny packs are cool! That’s one trend that I am glad is back. 🙂
I can only hope that big hair comes back too! Love me some high waisted jeans and big hair!
I still wear all those clothes because I’m dirt poor.
I’ll finally be in fashion again👍
That was a very funny read! I read somewhere recently about this being the season of peak sneaker silliness haha
I would like to see the plastic neon jewelry to accessorize with….. Bahahahaha. We might not have been serious fashionistas in the ’80’s, but boy was it a great decade to grow up in. ‘Cause girls just wanna have fun!
One word no one mentioned… Courderoy!
Laughing so hard! It is indeed the third time around!! Also velvet, which I kind of like. I do think the high waisted jeans that are long enough and not acid washed or buttoned are a good thing. Even when I was small I could only deal with the Levi’s as cut offs in the summer, and they were low cut and they were boys jeans. But let’s say I have not been that small for a while and I for one am loving the high waisted pants.
[…] Stop trying to make 1995 happen […]
Let us not forget the neon pants and shirts/sweatshirts of the 80s. What about the parachute pants and the “pleather” or leather pants. Leg warmers made a comeback too. Way too funny to see some of these comeback as fashion. Only young skinny girls can rock them.
[…] harassment. And we argued about little things, like whether Justin is still in love with Selena, Target’s Fall 2018 fashion choices, and who should be taking out the trash in the kitchen every […]
I think it all depends on your confidence on how you wear your clothes. Just sayin.
Ugliness overload!!! I’m still trying to figure out the whys of the popularity of the ripped jeans that have been so popular in the last few years. I’ve seen kids wearing them for Senior pics and even women in their 40s & 50s. When I ask why they like them, they just look at me as if I have grown a second head. I really would like to know. (And many of the ripped jeans are super expensive!) In my day (yes, showing my age) we would have thrown them out deeming them as unwearable in public!
Come on ladies cut the Target buyers of the USA midwest some slack… clearly they are visually impaired and mentally challenged! Either that or they were late getting their orders in and had to take the left overs that no one else wanted! So glad I live in Australia right now! 🙂
Tune in Tokyo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZER6HgIaGc
OMG. I just made a post on Tumblr about the clothes at Target and a friend pointed me here and I am so glad I’m not the only one to have noticed this. For years, going into the women’s clothing department has been a struggle as I tell myself that no, I do not need another adorable $25 dress or $20 cardigan.
It is… not a struggle anymore. I couldn’t find a single thing I would be caught dead wearing, except for maybe a couple of plain winter coats.
When will our non-crop-tops come back from the war?
https://www.google.com/amp/s/m.huffpost.com/us/entry/8670438/amp
I’m just going to place this right here. In hopes that one people care about actual data when they’re protecting their youth from the evil Target bathrooms.
The only thing evil about Target is its participation in fast clothing which is environmentally and socially questionable.
Do the people protesting the evils of bathroom choice even know a trans person? Have they ever met trans person?
I personally am warning my children to be more frightened of bigots.
Never heard the term Boob Bag. All it is is a fanny pack crossbody. New way to display old things I guess. I am 53 and never hear of it. Seems like a missmash of 70’s and 80’s style.
The IKEA bath mats are so much better! Target has nothing for me these days…
Beware, it’s not just Target. The carnival “look,” apparently is “in” – check the runways. Then google “fugly is the new pretty.” Yeah, NOPE. They’ve gone full on Hunger Games on us. The retail shops are clearly going with this in spite of the fact that they’re losing their shirts on the cheaply made bargain basement junk they continue to try to foist upon us. So, hey, why not double down. It’s gonna a be a full on boycott, boyos. Stop messing with us.
The fact that you learn what’s going on in the world from Facebook of all places (people still use that? I thought it was just for suburban old bitties and… oh, nevermind.)
Drink your milk of magnesia and take an evening off the internet. You’re out of touch and think it’s okay to ridicule younger women who are still “with it”. I guess that’s what Facebook teaches you.
This leggings for pants movement has lead us to a scary place. Side note, What am I wearing right now? Leggings! And my hair has been waiting for an 80s revival. I’m buying stock in Aquanet.
This made me laugh out loud. Thank you