The Lice Squad

  1. one of the dignity stripping experiences in elementary school. face down on the desk while a nurse with rubber gloves comes and digs around your scalp.  not cute.

    • Anonymous says:

      Eek. At least they were thorough. They weren’t anywhere near that concerned at either of my kids’ schools!

  2. Anonymous says:

    Oh this post makes me have PTSD. My daughter had it NINE times in kindergarten because of an repeat offender – I thought I was going to have to be checked into the looney bin that year. And it’s amazing what people think about it’s origins…vomit encrusted urinal indeed! Ha!

    • Anonymous says:

      NINE TIMES?! I think I’d just homeschool at that point!!  ;D

      • Anonymous says:

        Well, that was on the table too! What made the difference was the firebreathing email I sent to the school, the district, the county, the state, DHEC and the threat to add the news to that list. Magically, the problem was resolved. Heh.

  3. NancyB says:

    NEVER had it — 12 years of public school for my son and not once thank Heavens!
    When I worked in the school cafeteria you always knew the boys who had them when they showed up bald one day.
    Your ghost lice is similar to when someone says “so and so has pink eye”.  IMMEDIATELY my eyes get itchy and feel gunky.  Blagh!

  4. S. says:

    Pardon my French but head lice suck the big one. But I have to say, it wasn’t so much the lice that stressed me, as the PURE POISON (Malathion) I had to put on my darling children’s heads. And my own. The poison itself nearly sent me over the edge. SO, on that note, I want you to know, if your family should get this problem, that there are some alternative treatments. Get on Google and look up Cetaphil to treat head lice. Even if you don’t need it, you might be able to help a fellow mom this way. Good luck!

    • Anonymous says:

      I’ve read about all the remedies, but honestly if it does happen here, I’m taking the kids to a place in town that gets rid of the lice FOR you. I’ve heard it’s expensive, but totally worth it!

      • Alia says:

        Totally worth it!! From someone who’s spent HOURS picking strand by strand through my daughter’s very long hair. We’ve had several rounds of it over the years. And when i finally got it, I gladly forked over $250 to have it GONE in two hours by a professional – who doesn’t use chemicals, just conditioner and a nit comb – while I semi-calmly watched a TV screen…
        Thanks, now I will have ghost-lice for the rest of the day.

    • Anonymous says:

      I hadn’t heard that one! After all the treatments we went through, someone told us to use olive oil. SOLVED. And made soft hair. 🙂

  5. Kimberly says:

    “head lice can’t afford private school?” 

    LOVE IT!!!!
    Very funny post.  And yes, I have experienced ghost lice myself after my daughter’s little cousins had it.  ewwww.

  6. Gcoleman7653 says:

    Head lice infestation is something that can be dealt with safely and effectively by using X-PEL Anti-Lice Shampoo & Conditioner, the only clinically proven, FDA registered non-toxic head lice treatment and preventative.  Visit for details.

  7. Spencer_67 says:

    The problem with lice is that you have to be very diligent…I mean obsessive!…about getting them out. You can’t just put the RID on and assume it’s over and done. You really do need to “nit pick.” Anything missed, and they will keep coming back. I’ve known other parents who just continue to send their kids to school without having done the work to get rid of them. I almost lost my mind when my daughter got them. The ghost lice…everything. I still get flashbacks.

  8. Angela Hinds says:

    Oh have mercy…I remember having to pick up my daugter from second grade and spent three plus hours combing through her hair after dumping God only knows what chemicals in it. Factor in the bagging up every single stuffed animal (and there were many), washing every towel, blanket and sheet in the house AND spraying down the carpet and furniture to ensure those suckers didn’t dare survive…ugh. I itch just thinking about all of that again!

  9. Anonymous says:

    We have a lice outbreak nearly every year at the private school (K-12) that I teach at.  It’s always a grade school girl that starts it, since girls are more likely to have long hair, sit closer to each other, and share brushes or hair accessories.  Fortunately, I’ve never been infested and neither have either of my sons.  But whenever an outbreak occurs, we all–teachers included–have to go through the head check.  If I wasn’t itching from the thought of lice, I always itch for hours after the head check.  Because, what if the nurse didn’t change her gloves before she checked my head?  Or what if the nurse has lice and they jump onto my head?

    *off to search for my anti-itch cream now*

    • Anonymous says:

      I always think of that, too– What if the nurse who’s checking heads actually SPREADS IT HERSELF?


  10. Hahaha! Good one 🙂 I would like to take this moment to pray to God that Ellen never has lice. We have way to many soft surfaces to wash and my brain will not be able to take it. Amen.


  11. Erin Perry says:

    I know ghost lice well. I meet them around the time of the children’s musical each Christmas. They haunt me for days. I always always always have to take a long hot shower after practice and wash my hair. Even if I just washed it.

  12. Leigh says:

    Well, now *I* have ghost lice! My kids go to private school and we’ve endured multiple rounds of those spawns of Satan. My expert tip: lice prefer clean hair, so if there’s an outbreak in your kid’s classroom be sure to spray their hair with a little hairspray or gel in the mornings. Also, tell them to put their jacket or coat on the back of their chair instead of hanging it on a hook next to Licehead Lily’s. 🙂

  13. Anonymous says:

    Ugh! We just dealt with it here. A volunteer brought them with her. All I could say was 10 years in Africa and the lice attack came over from America!! I had to do the nit-picking and my head itched all the time because of it. Thankfully we were able to confine the infestation to her alone. We couldn’t’ even get the chemical shampoo so we used mayonnaise. Worked like a charm.

    • Anonymous says:

      Unbelievable! I’d say, though, that you have your hands full dealing with everything else that comes your way over there…

  14. Allyson says:

    Hey wait, my grandmother who hailed from Arkansas used to say, “Bless your heart” when she really wanted to tell someone to stick where God’s sun doesn’t shine.  Heh.

    My private school daughter has not had it-knock wood, but we have had an outbreak at school every single year (4).  Private schools ARE lice havens.  Many of the children live near each other, do the same activities, are on the same sports teams.  It’s a freakin’ epidemic. 

    I taught at the vomit encrusted urinal for 10 years and you knew it was lice time when all the teachers had slicked back buns with more hairspray than a Dallas socialite.  I still itch when I see teacher lice preventing hair. 

  15. Melissa says:

    My Grandma says “Well Lord love your little heart!” 🙂 LOL

    That’s one of the reasons I like living at high altitude. No lice. No fleas. Life is good. 🙂

    • Anonymous says:

      Love it!  And I had no idea lice and fleas couldn’t survive in higher altitudes! Lucky you. 🙂

      • Melissa says:

        Oh yes. When my family moved from Los Angeles, CA to the mountains of Colorado and discovered there were no lice or fleas, we threw up our hands and shouted a collective Hallelujah! LOL My family homeschooled in California and that didn’t even protect us from the lice epidemics. My poor mother had to deal with four thick heads of hair. 

  16. cheesehead4ever says:

    Sitting here scratching the ghost lice.  I feel your pain. My daughters’ PRIVATE Catholic school had an outbreak in both first grade classrooms (daughter #2 is in first). Over for now.  BUT, her hair has been in a ponytail for the last three months.  Instead of washing her hair every three nights, it’s now more like every six.  Because lice like clean hair.  I am also spraying my kids’ hair with a water/tea tree oil combo, put tea tree oil in all of our shampoo…..  I’ve gone a little crazy. 

    The thought of lice gives me the creeps and the thought of all of the work involved makes me want to vomit.  I did get it at camp when I was 13 and remember what my mom went through.  I guess the one bright side is what I heard from two of the moms whose daughters were affected.  Their houses had never been cleaner.

    By the way, I love how you turned the tables on the private school!

  17. Erica says:

    Oh LICE!  I had it so much as a kid.  It was so horrible.  I desperately hope my kids don’t get it.  

  18. Knewman4 says:

    Absolutely brilliant post. The public school that my 2nd grader attends is about to lose our music teacher, our art teacher, our science teacher, and our band program. Our governor cut 1 billion from the state ed budget last year (PA) and he wants to cut more. I’m just sick about it! Anyway, I love the sly way you stick up for public schools in this post!

    • Anonymous says:

      That’s awful! I’m getting lots of e-mails from parents in states that don’t have full-day kindergarten- I can’t even imagine… I’m very grateful that we’re zoned for a really amazing PUBLIC elementary school and I’d put it up against any private elementary school in the city. 🙂

  19. Anne says:

    Now I have “ghost lice.”  My daughter AND I both got them (thick curly hair, you know) when they spread throughout her elementary school.  Cetaphil, combing diligently with metal lice combs, wearing ponytails and gel, and eternal vigilance were the ONLY things that worked.  So many parents think that one treatment will do it.  NOT TRUE.  Don’t even waste your money and time on any so-called lice treatment from the drugstore.  They do not work.  The nasty bugs are resistant to that stuff.  Google the Cetaphil treatment.  Repeat that in 7-10 days as the nasty bugs have a life cycle.

  20. Brenda Mills says:

    I get ghost lice anytime I see, hear, think about, or am within ten feet of the word “lice.” My family had one particularly bad case when I was a kid and it scarred me for life. SYMPATHY and glad you’re still in the clear!

  21. Mary A says:

    You gave me ghost lice.  Thanks

  22. Jennifer L says:

    Ack, now I have ghost lice too! 

    Fie on people who talk down on the schools like that, too, by the way. Anytime anyone at that PRIVATE preschool gives you a hard time about that nasty PUBLIC school, you tell them that my husband went there (and he did for fourth grade) and is an Ivy League graduate now (true story). 

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  24. Islandmummy says:

    Ahhh why did I read it? Now I’m scratching at the ghost-lice too.
    We did have a brief outbreak at my son’s preschool last year but thank goodness we never got it. 

  25. […] then I wrote a little post about lice, which was shared among the teachers at my son’s school about as quickly as the little bugs […]

  26. Vanessa A says:

    I have to throw my two cents in here. My daughter is always coming home with lice. I’ve discovered that rid and nix don’t work. Instead I use a natural product called lice free. It smells like black licorice, tuck, but works amazingly! Instantly they were dying and it makes the hair easier to comb through, with the METAL comb provided. METAL works way better than the cheap plastic ones.

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