The Mythmaker

  1. Amanda M. says:

    A friend of mine was working as a kindergarten teacher. He told me that he knew ALL KINDS of things about the parents ~ including the mom who “got new boobs”!! Haha!! Kids…..

  2. Bonnie says:

    That was so hilarious…except that it’s not!  One of my freinds teaches at a private Christian school and her son, who also attends there (at age about 5 or 6) told his teacher that his mom and dad liked to drink and dance! (which they do neither)lol

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      I can only imagine what my son tells his kindergarten teacher- particularly since he comes home all the time telling me things she supposedly said that I KNOW she didn’t say!

  3. Rae Ann says:

    Great sharing.  BTW – Puncky’s pic above is so damn precious.

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      Yes, this is what she used to do mid-game when she got too tired to keep going. At one point, I had to cross the field, pick her up, and carry her off myself because her legs were “too tired to work anymore!”

  4. Rae Ann says:

    Oh, I forgot.  My honey has a daughter who is a now in college.  When she was five, Bill asked her what she might like to get for her teacher for Christmas.  She replied with the normal, “IDK.”  He asked what she and her new husband liked to do, thinking that he could just invest in a gift card SOMEWHERE.  She said, “Have sex,”.  Trying very hard to keep a straight face, he asked what that meant.  She told him that it was hugging and kissing.  Apparently, she would see her teacher get dropped off by her husband in the mornings, and concluded that that is what sex was.  He insists that SEX as a word would never have been mentioned at home, so it makes you wonder what WAS talked about at school.

    Kids are a trip!  

  5. Knewman4 says:

    I think kid-truths are tricky. My son told people my husband was Jewish because he knew Jujitso. My husband does know Jujitso, but he’s not Jewish. My daughter said she wanted to be a writer when she grew up and when I said “I’m a writer” she said, “No, you’re a teacher of college and all you do is grade papers.” True, right? But also not true. I also think kids and sports are tricky. I coached my daughter in soccer for 2 seasons and she lolligagged. The third season I enrolled her with someone else as the coach and she did great. When I worry about kids and sports I comfort myself with Ayelet Waldman’s great response to Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, which I’m guessing you ran across back in the day:

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      YES. We’re actually in talks about whether she wants to return to soccer, but it doesn’t come up all that often, so I think it’s just the idea of playing she likes more than the actual thing. I don’t care what she does– I just want her to find her passion and I feel like it’s my job to help her try as many things as possible (within reason) until she figures out what she truly loves.

  6. Jessica Rosenberg says:

    Guess I’m glad all the school parents read my blog! Gives me a chance to set the record straight. Snort.

  7. Guest says:

    A teacher friend told me a story once about a child in her class whose parents came roaring in, upset about some things their child had told them, none of which were grounded in reality (the teacher said I was stupid, the teacher made me go outside without my coat, etc.) 

    After they had run out of steam, she asked them, “Do you have a pet pig?” Confused, they said, “No!” “Well,” she continued, “Your son swears that you do. Also, that you live in a houseboat and that his uncle used to perform in the circus.” The parents were aghast; none of that was true.”I’ll make you a deal,” she finally said. “I’ll believe only half of what he says about you if you’ll believe only half of what he says about me.”

  8. Oh boy. Thankfully Ellen doesn’t have the vocab the embarrass me quite yet, but this is a good thing to keep in mind!

  9. Melissa says:

    Ah, the stories I could tell after working in the front office of a school for a year…those kids and their parents were their own special brand of crazy. Once I had a parent freaking out because their kid had said the cafeteria lady wouldn’t let them eat. Um, no, your kid was being a brat and didn’t want to eat what was being served so they just threw their lunch tray away. That’s why they come home hungry every day. 

    Someone needs to go undercover and record some of that kind of stuff and write a book. LOL

  10. […] A Family Needs our Help…..Please Respond and Share.So How Are the KidsThe Mythmaker ‹ Suburban Turmoil […]

  11. Jamie S. says:

    I’ve coached 4/5 year olds for three years.  

    Once a little boy ran up to me and said “My Mommy spit on me!!!” (a little spray came out when she was talking)

    Not to be outdone, a little pig-tailed girl announced… “Well, my Daddy pooped in his own pants…”

    I could see her poor father on the sidelines in his business suit, completely unaware of her embarrassing over share… 

    I have many many more treasured stories…

  12. […] that soccer really wasn’t her thing. She was done with the sport by the age of five. (We have a difference in opinion, apparently, as to how that happened!) Bruiser also started at three and clearly wasn’t ready […]

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