The Power of Prayer, 6-Year-Old Version

When my six-year-old really, really wants something (which is about every five minutes), he’ll do just about anything to get it.

‘Anything’ in his mind means rushing toward me at full speed, tightly wrapping his arms and legs around my body, and begging as though I’ve just announced that I have the last golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.

“Oh pleeeeeeeaaaaaase,” he’ll say piteously. “Pleeeeeeeease, Mommy, I’ll do anyfing. I’ll even give you a dollar. Oh, pleeeeeeeeeease.”

“No,” I’ll reply. “I said no and I meant it.”

“OH PLEEEEEEASE!!” he’ll shout, reaching up to cup my face in his hands and staring up at me with big, blue, tear-filled eyes, an action he surely saw on TV and stashed away for later use. “I’ll give you anyfing,” he’ll promise again. “ANYFING! Just… Please, Mommy! PLEASE!”

“This isn’t going to work,” I’ll tell him calmly, trying to keep a straight face. “You might as well give up now.”

But giving up would be too easy. Recently, he added another element to his arsenal of supplication. He brought it out for the first time a few weeks ago, after I refused to let him have a third cookie.

“Oh Lord Jesus, PLEASE!” he begged. “Please Jesus! Jesus Lord! OH PLEASE!”

Father forgive me. I laughed. And I gave the kid another cookie.

In retrospect, this was a mistake, because now Bruiser invokes the Holy Trinity now every time he wants something, whether it’s more time on my iPad or a 25-cent gumball at the supermarket.

“Oh Jesus, Oh Lord, please! Jesus, help me, please Mommy! Please can I have a gumball???!!!! Oh Jesus!”

You can imagine how well that goes over with the little old ladies at the grocery store.