>There is Fitting So Untold of the Slobber I Can Occupy
>The other day, a very unusual reader comment turned up in my e-mail.
It had been left on an old post (What is it with the old posts this week?) about one of my least favorite things in the whole world:
If you want to know the extent of my hatred for these damnable children’s CDs, understand this: In my opinion, when aliens happen upon our ruined planet thousands of years from now and try to figure out what went wrong and why humans no longer exist, the destruction of our species will be traced back to the introduction of Kidz Bop to our society.
Don’t believe me? Take a look:
The thought that my daughter might want to look and act like this in two years, and that grown men and women are actually allowed to produce these songs and videos and market them to kids?
END TIMES.
“And I say Amen again!” she wrote. “There is sooo such smashing adult sound that is satisfactory for children. For information, why “Kidzbopped” Beatles instead of the actual and most superior abstract? Sure, the subsequent whatsis has to be picked finished a bit, but their incipient penalization is eager. We also same “They Power Be Giants”, Elvis, and 50’s and 60’s are worthy too. I sat through the Doodlebops, there is but fitting so untold of the slobber I can occupy.”
At first, I thought it was spam. And maybe it was. But I realized after reading it a couple of times that Florina must have written her comment and put it through an online translator. Because it sort of makes sense if you read it carefully.
She hates Kidz Bop, too!
She wonders why anyone would buy a bastardized version of a Beatles song for their kids when they could introduce them to the original!
She thinks there’s plenty of great “adult” music out there that’s appropriate for kids, like They Might Be Giants, Elvis Presley, and 50s and 60s music!
She also freaking hates The Doodlebops!
Honestly, though, Florina said it best:
“I sat through the Doodlebops, but there is fitting so untold of the slobber I can occupy.”
A-FREAKING-MEN.
PARENTING IN A NUTSHELL.
I hope you’ll take Florina’s words to heart and perhaps use them the next time your kid is begging you to watch another episode of Barney. Or Caillou. Or Dora. Or {insert your nervous-breakdown-inducing-kids-program-of-choice here}.
“Sorry sweetie, but there is fitting so untold of the slobber I can occupy.”
As an added bonus, I’m pretty sure this phrase will also work on husbands!
You’re welcome.
