Application for a Play Date
Parents, are you tired of the guesswork that goes into deciding whether to allow your child to attend a little friend’s play date?
I mean, sure, that mother seems nice enough when you see her in the car rider pick-up line. She drives a newish Volvo, her lipstick is always applied evenly, and you’re still on the waiting list for her Louis Vuitton bag. (Dammit.)
But how can you really tell what goes on behind the closed doors of her 3500-square-foot home? For all you know, her husband is a craft beer-guzzling porn addict and she’s having an affair with her Pure Barre instructor! Who wants to risk sending their defenseless little crumpetnubbins into a LION’S DEN OF DEBAUCHERY? Not you!
Fortunately, I’ve developed a solution. Print out this handy cover letter and application and keep it in your handbag to give to parents when they suggest a “get together” with your kids.
If you don’t hear back from them, don’t worry!
You just might have saved your child’s life.
Very commendable. You might want to consider adding religious affiliations, blood type and favorite color. Also you might want them to provide their genetic history and a printout of their Ancestry.com results– this is the South, you know, and we need to know who their people are…
Very thorough Lindsay! But you might want to include some of babybloomr’s suggestions as well 🙂
Consider this a jumping off point! 😉
Wait! What about a copy of the emergency exit plan for their home? And their most recent CPR certification? And you did mention that you’d like the child’s immunization records, but what about mom’s/dad’s VIEWS on immunization? Do they favor spreading the shots out? Do they think anyone who disagrees is anti-science/possibly the devil?
And I thought you cared about your children. (Disappointed sigh, shaking head.)
🙂
You’ve got me…
I wish I would have had this when my kid was younger! 🙂 Pretty thorough ~
Probably best that you didn’t! 😉
OMG! Where have you been all my life? I must subscribe!!
Somewhere between my childhood and becoming a mother, it went from “let’s hang out” to “let’s have a playdate!” and got all complicated. What the heck happened???
You think this is complicated? I was trying to simplify things for you! 😉
Don’t forget to request a copy of their CPR certification.
OMG! Last minute add!
Thorough… My biggest question is usually- what kind of wine do you have? Can we drink it together while our children play?
LOL, that is priceless!!!
I’d also really like to know about any Greek affiliations in college. I mean, if you weren’t in the top 5, I’m going to have serious reservations. I’m also compiling a list of possible rec writers for when my daughters are preparing for rush.
And don’t forget to ask if they have fair trade coffee….