The 25 Habits of Highly Annoying Parents

  1. Heather says:

    OMG #21 drives me nuts. Same goes for Facebook pages for unborn children.

    • Part138 says:

      Unborn children, born children, basically a page for ANYONE not old enough to have a Facebook page of their own seems odd to me.

  2. WillsMom says:

    Make sure you talk about your child’s development milestones as if they have any relevance AT ALL to your friends’ children and their (obviously slower and less advanced) development. Children all do these things at the same rate so be sure to compare.

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      I was OBSESSED with developmental milestones with my first, and so was everyone else in her playgroup. With my second, I didn’t even look at the milestones. He seemed normal enough to me! 😉

    • Lia Salem says:

      People love to hear about how your child finally learned how to tie his shoes. It is also very important to tell them that your kid finally learned how to poop, and be sure to share every detail!

  3. Melissa says:

    Number 22. OMG. I worked at a school for a year and that experience is what made me seriously consider homeschooling. A lot of the parents were just plain PSYCHO. Not just annoying – I’m talking leaning over my desk yelling at me, cussing me out on the phone, threatening to sue the school at the drop of a hat crazy. I don’t want to be around that crap and I don’t want my kids around it either. Ugh.

  4. Jane Byers Goodwin says:

    Your children are always welcome at weddings, parties, etc. Just because their names aren’t on the invitation doesn’t mean the hosts won’t be glad to see them!

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      YES!!

    • Cheri Peralta says:

      If someone doesn’t want my children to come to the wedding they shouldn’t invite me. Weddings are a FAMILY event, and my children are my family.

      • harmony says:

        Weddings are about the 2 people becoming a family…not accommodating yours!

      • Interested Party says:

        Who is invited to a wedding is up to the people getting married. It’s incredibly rude, pretentious, and entitlement minded of you to decide that you’ll take whomever you want to their blessed event. I hope you inform all of your friends and family that their day is now, apparently, all about you so that they WILL know not to invite you.

        Wow. I can’t believe people sometimes. Weddings are whatever kind of event the couples want them to be, not whatever kind of event YOU want them to be. I would hope you could respect their wishes.

        • Shannon du Plessis says:

          Yes!!!!!

        • Lia Salem says:

          Exactly. Some people need yo understand that it is not their day, but the newly wedded couples day. A lot of people getting married do not want children at their wedding. It doesn’t matter how well behaved your kid is, you need to respect the wishes requests of others.

      • Sarah Stewart says:

        Honestly, no. Unless its stated children welcome, assume no. I didn’t specify no kid for mine on the invitations, I assumed that people were smart enough to not bring a screaming potentially really bored kid to my wedding and subsequent all adult 18+ dinner/reception. I did however, kindly provide a herd of teenaged babysitters (paid for by me in my budget at the advice of a relative)- including one specifically for my own child who was 6 months – and paid for pizza, dessert and all that so that the various people attending would be able to enjoy themselves and have a break from being parents for a few hours. That and then i wouldnt be paying per plate for kids who might not even touch what is on the menu. I love kids but I didn’t want a cranky bored kid drowning out my vows. Better they be entertained with a sitter and comfortable. That is, unless, the host/ess states or indicates children welcome. Then, sure. Otherwise, get these to a babysitter. In my humble opinion that is.

      • Christine Burke says:

        You’re joking, right? You’d be so self centered and obnoxious as to dictate

      • L D says:

        I put adult reception on my wedding invites. If they aren’t named on the invite (or it doesn’t say ‘the ____ family’) they are not invited. That is basic common etiquette. If weddings were generally cheap affairs, then it wouldn’t matter, but someone is paying for each guest there. Bringing a horde of kids when they aren’t explicitly invited is rude.

      • Elizabeth Perlin says:

        I would say if they don’t want kids, state “adult only.” I agree with you that weddings are for families and had accommodations for kids at my own wedding. However, not everyone feels that way which is fair. Then they should probably say so!

      • Faggot says:

        Actually weddings are for the people invited

      • Zoe Cappa says:

        Most parents these days do not know how to keep their child occupied at a formal dinner or wedding reception. If you have taught your child manners…to keep seated at the dinner table AT LEAST THROUGH THE DAMN DINNER. And not run around wild during wedding ceremony or dinner, then fine. But don’t get pissed off when the staff have to tell you to control your child. An out-of-control three year old is not cute…he or she is either a.) ruining the enjoyment for EVERYONE else at the wedding (no, not everything is about OR for your damn child), or b.) your child trying to kill everyone at the wedding with wild behavior. Teach your child how to behave like a damn human being and not a wild animal in formal settings, and then the rest of the entire world would not complain about them. What the hell happened to parents. You’re fucking it up for everyone. We do not worship you child. Parents managed to do this for generations. My parents never ever hit us either. The never had to raise their voice at us out in public. NEVER. My mom managed FIVE KIDS and I don’t even remember ever even feeling anxious or needing to run around. She always had a coloring book or even just a I had a pen and pad of paper and I was cool. All of my siblings and everyone else’s kids were also fine being calm at the kids table. I do not remember kids being out of control at weddings when I was growing up. This is in the 1970s when parents still had a fucking backbone and didn’t have a problem saying “no” or hurting precious’ feelings for 30 seconds not getting their way.

        • lorie says:

          Well said and I totally agree. I wish that every one shared you understanding. I used to think that if the invite did not say adult only it mean children welcome. But the way people allow their children to act today I have been to several occasions where they caused upset and hurt feelings because they didn’t know how to act. With the birth rate going down this will become an ongoing issue.

        • Justme Nici says:

          I’m 17 now, my parents always did the same…

      • Daniela says:

        That is a pretty big sense of entitlement…whoa! It is the couple’s day and they are footing the bill -it is totally up to them. There are times in life we have to break down and get a sitter…good for the kids too!

    • carolann says:

      I don’t think I would assume, I would ask, It would depend on the couple. If it was a wedding for one of my friends vs one of my family members, and does the couple have kids. What I don’t like is when someone who knows I have kids invites me to a party at 8 or 9 at night the day before or the same day giving me no time to pre arrange a sitter. I think that hosts and guest need to be courteous of eachother

    • Lia Salem says:

      And always make sure that when the exchange of vows are taking place, to ignore them when they start crying. The bride and groom will be so thankful for that little bit of music.

    • lollygag says:

      Unless the invitation specifically states the child’s names, then the children aren’t invited.

    • Jenilee says:

      Most people that don’t want children at their wedding will specify that on the invitation, if it isn’t specified then asking before sending your RSVP which if you are bringing kids your number attending should reflect that, if you haven’t asked them before sending your RSVP then when they receive that, they can notify you that they would appreciate it if you didn’t bring your children

      Also I like the babysitter idea for parents that can’t find care for kids during wedding, I also have seen where bride got count of kids coming and made little activity boxes (gender specific) for the kids that were expected (RSVP’d)

      • lorie says:

        Who knows what an RSVP is for now days and uses them. Not only is this generation not schooled on their children’s manners they have none of their own. I don’t know how many times I have sent an invitation out with and RSVP and got nothing in return only to have the

    • Justme Nici says:

      I am currently 17 and when our neighbours’ son got married my parents still asked whether my brother and I were invited too before taking us… I though this was common sense by now O.o

  5. Jennifer says:

    Asking for potty training advice with a post on your Facebook wall. “Little Susie refuses to poop in the potty! We’ve tried everything; M&Ms, lollipops, etc. What should I do??”

    Also, #25 I totally agree with. Using your children as an excuse not to have a life anymore really makes me lose respect for a person. I know kids are a ton of work, I do. But is teaching your children that they are priority #1 at all times really valuable to them?

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      Yeah, with #25 you also get parents who use their kids as their excuse every. single. time. And you want to call bullsh!t so bad, because you know the kids couldn’t possibly ALWAYS be responsible for their chronic lateness.

  6. Lisa says:

    Also add to #23 at a recital, play or graduation feel free to stand and call their names or do whatever you can to get their attention & wave hi, like you haven’t seen them in years.

  7. SharronF says:

    Be sure to put your convenience over everyone else on the planet. Bring a huge stroller so you can put packages on top of your baby and keep the aisle to yourself. Use a jogging stroller so your baby gets all that healthy carbon monoxide down at car exhaust level while you keep fit. Keep your baby in a plastic container- preferably on the floor so you can avoid eye contact- just like hanging the kid off the front of you while its feet turn blue. Sit your diapered baby on your friend’s kitchen counters- everyone loves a little ecoli with dinner. Leave the restaurant floor looking like animals ate there- the staff will love you for it!

  8. PDXmom says:

    Discuss your pubescent child’s milestones with the parents of her friends. They all want to hear about breast buds, first bras, first periods, and even pubic hair.

  9. Lindsay says:

    Make sure every Facebook post you make shows what a superb parent you are with your perfect breast feeding/scheduling/discipline/nutrition/whatever techniques. Of course every other parent and non-parent you know is dying to know how you are doing it since you do no wrong. Not to mention, your female friends who can’t have children want every detail of your baby experience because it makes them so happy.

  10. Kristen Crawford says:

    Let your kids play hide and seek or wipe clothes off of tables onto the floor in stores. The sales associates will just clean it up.

    I work in retail and there are just those few that can ruin a whole day……

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      Ha! I remember playing hide and seek with my brother once- I hid inside a clothing rack and accidentally knocked the whole thing over. I’m sure the employees JUST LOVED me!

  11. Holly K says:

    Be “THAT” mom or dad who relives their subpar high school athletic career by “coaching” their child protege’s (the next #1 draft pick obviously) team in that same sport, nearly ruining it for the kids who in elementary school are just playing for fun and NOT for college scholarships. Otherwise known as “dad (or mom) ball”. 🙂

  12. Jerry Millard says:

    Several, lol! I don’t care to hear about potty training progress (especially in detail). I don’t need to hear the play-by-play of getting a shot at the doctor’s. A restaurant or theater is not the place to let your child roam around because they’re finished eating, bored, and antsy. And the dog didn’t eat the homework or the teacher didn’t “give” a bad grade.

  13. suburbanturmoil says:

    Here’s a new one: Hand out letters like this one to trick-or-treaters. http://www.today.com/moms/swapping-letters-candy-trick-or-treat-8C11493000

  14. maybetoocynical says:

    Be sure to rent a limo, buy the most expensive clothes possible, and schedule a complete salon makeover for the all-important 7th grade winter dance. Other parents will thank you for raising the standards in your school.

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      Ooh, good one. This also applies to Elf on the Shelf and Tooth Fairy traditions. You can’t just move the Elf around each night- Now, they have to make mischief so that mom can Instagram the mess and show off her hard work to her friends! You can’t just put money under the pillow anymore- Now you have to put the tooth in WATER and let the Tooth Fairy “color it with her wings!” WTH? Pinterest parents, you are ruining my life!

  15. Meredith says:

    Let your kid run around a restaurant diving in and out of server traffic. Sit right by the kitchen so as to keep the wait staff on their toes. #11 cracked. me. up. I would kill someone if they did that to me. I HATE those parties.

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      That happened to me. I was the only playgroup member who didn’t buy anything, and the woman never really spoke to me again. AWKWARD.

  16. ListingMom says:

    Be sure to ask any parent of a child between the ages one week to ten years of age if and when they will be having more children. Parents of any age love to talk about focused love making with strangers. Bonus points for dropping in casual conversation that you managed to get pregnant by simply looking at your husband and that your child just popped out when you sneezed.

  17. Guest says:

    I saw my kid’s name 9000000000000000000x a day. I know other people want to punch me and honestly, they should.

  18. Swirleytime says:

    I say my kid’s name 900000000000000000000 times in a row. I know it annoys the shit out of people…and honestly, they should punch me so I stop.

  19. Anne says:

    Oh boy, don’t get me started, but how about…

    26. If you’re a room parent, it’s fine to give extra work to the mom’s of only children, saying ‘You should have plenty of time to do this since, after all, “you only have the one.”‘

    27. Come to the meeting of the special needs parent group at your school and demand that they address the appalling lack of gifted and talented offerings at the school, because your genius child is suffering from the “special need” of being bored in class.

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      Ugh! I can really relate to 26- Since I work from home, some have assumed that I sit around doing nothing all day, and thus have PLENTY of time to chair events, lead kids’ groups, cut out hundreds of laminated doo-dads, etc. I’ve had to learn the art of politely saying NO! 🙂

    • blame-the-gifted says:

      28. continue to perpetuate the myth that kids who learn differently enough to be labeled gifted by school systems unprepared and unfunded, usually, to cope with most anyone outside the mainstream, somehow don’t deserve any attention and instead, their parents and they should be subjected to eye-rolling, sarcastic ridicule by those who willingly accept significant services for their own children subsidized by their friends and neighbors, the taxpayers.

      • Jen Murray says:

        You should be ashamed of yourself for this comment! As a parent of a G&T child, I would never say his lacking “needs” supercede those of autistic/LD children! Be thankful to have a child who doesn’t have daily struggles to do basic math, ect. If I showed up at a meeting for “special needs” children, in front of heartbroken, at the end – of – their – rope with concern parents & demanded my “gifted” child be more challenged while they’re there fighting for a way their child can just learn the basics.. I’d DESERVE to be ridiculed & eye-rolled! Be thankful you have such an incredible child & find ways at home to further challenge them, or talk to their teachers! Many are willing to give extra above grade-level work to take home.

    • Anne says:

      Oh my. It seems 27 has hit a chord. Still, I think the challenges of getting ed/life skills for a nonverbal autistic person might just be a bit more challenging that getting better physics for the G&T child. Just sayin.

    • Daniela says:

      We are living parallel universes 🙂

  20. AHughes says:

    Tell your preschool teacher that they should have computers in the classroom because they are learning more from the computers than the teachers anyway. (Was TRULY just said to me and I teach 2 year olds!)

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      Ack!!

    • Desiree says:

      I am also a pre-school teacher in Istanbul, and sometimes I give extra private lessons after school-hours. Anyway this potential client was talking to me and she said, “Well, why don’t you first come over to see if my daughter likes you? Then we can set a day.” Wow, little princess gets to CHOOSE her teacher!

  21. Interested Party says:

    Talk about your child’s poop in detail. Trust me, everyone wants to know aaaaaall about it. BTW, I’m so glad he’s eating soft foods now, even if it means his poop smells like cigarettes and cow dung.

  22. Jenni Cook says:

    Always speak of your child’s activities as though they are your own. “WE are getting our shots tomorrow.” “WE are potty training.” “WE don’t like Brussels sprouts.” WE (as in the rest of us) don’t find that the least bit annoying.

  23. kmm says:

    Always be the parent who smokes at pick-up. All the other parents will appreciate the example you are setting. This also goes for using swear words (the really good ones) in front of children.

  24. Kim says:

    Making sure your child’s birthday party is superior to all others in the neighborhood. I mean, what is a birthday party without a huge bouncy house, games, a pinata and even individualized goody bags for each child?? Yes, I did this many years ago and didn’t realize how much it ticked off the parents as I set the bar incredibly high for their kids’ future parties. Pretty ridiculous.

  25. Bleblop says:

    Yes, tell people to not make blogs or tell other people how to parent by making a blog telling other people how to parent 😉

  26. Jess says:

    “my child is in the ____ percentile I just don’t know where they get it from!” Says the mom with the giant head or the childs father is 7 ft 6 in. Genetics people, genetics.

  27. Sally says:

    You don’t seem to be taking your own advice on number 12.

  28. Sally says:

    And, number 16 was something you did as well, on another post. You need to find another outlet. #criticalsarcasticmomblogger….how original.

  29. Shannon du Plessis says:

    Haha – what a fun topic.

    I confess to using #25 the first month of my daughter’s life, but then I got a grip and started allowing the extra time. Interestingly, my getting a grip coincided with my daughter’s sleeping through the night 🙂

    This one happened to my husband and me recently –

    Make sure you interrupt when you see your friend, who you haven’t seen in about a year, and her husband, in deep romantic conversation when you and your obnoxious kid arrive at the same restaurant known as a hot spot for romantic dates. Then sit down without being asked, and do nothing as your kid dominates the conversation with a monologue of his accomplishments and actually gives your friend a business card (this kid was 12!), all the while remaining oblivious that this assault on your friend’s romantic date night is even happening because your boy is sooooooooo gifted, who wouldn’t want to listen to him narcissistically drone on, for seemingly forever.

    A few more:

    Make sure you correct parents in stores when you believe they discipline their child incorrectly (or do nothing as their child runs rampant) or at least try to send lighting bolts through your eyes with your harsh and lingering glare.

    When your teen’s friends call, grab the phone and start chatting with them for a couple of minutes and then give the phone back to your horrified child.

    Variation on #10 – Brag: When in conversation always one-up the other parents, making sure your story about your child is waaaaaay better and more interesting than their stories, even if you have to embellish. And then become genuinely puzzled when those invitations to get together dry up.

    • Jenilee says:

      Now if I am in a store and a child (not mine) is running around and causing issues not just for me but for other customers as well and their parent is not even attempting to get some control over their child I will and have told the child to go to their parents and if that doesn’t at least calm some of the behavior I will walk the child to their parent and with a smile ask are you looking for him/her I don’t think that is rude or in anyway telling someone how to parent but hopefully stopping the situation where someone might tell that parent how to parent their child

  30. Mia says:

    If I’m invited to a wedding my kids will be staying home. Point blank. My cousin got married and the kids completely ruin the whole reception. Sneaking alcohol out running arond when everyone is suppose tonbe sitting down, crawling under tables and just being annoying. I was ashamed to be apart of the family. Smh

  31. Alexa Guzman says:

    #26
    Always tell a mother of five how to do her job when you yourself just had your first child.

  32. Lia Salem says:

    Always ignore your child(ren) when they are running around, screaming, throwing tantrums and/or food at restaurants. And make sure that you bring out your camera to snap a picture for when a hot bowl of soup is about to fall on them. The waiters and other diners will find your child absolutely adorable!!@

  33. Smart man says:

    Im sick of you, fucking bitch

  34. Harry says:

    Brag to your child about them it makes them sooooo happy and feel so much better

  35. Kerri Reeves Smith says:

    Only post the best of the best of the best on social media to give the perspective your life and children and husband are perfect and do nothing wrong ever. And always, always include in that post, “My child is so beautiful.” Or “My child is so perfect and I’m so glad she’s mine.”

    • Kerri Reeves Smith says:

      Also, when only one of your children is invited to a birthday party (and only has their name on the invitation) that includes dinner, bringing that child, all the child’s siblings, and yourself and your spouse to the party and helping your family load up on food that only the other CHILDREN are eating.

    • lilyred says:

      Really. I have never seen so much “child worship”. Unreal.

  36. ockeghem says:

    Go out of the way to loudly castigate other parents for reading the paper on their cell phones while their children are all the way across the pool in swim lessons. Because it’s a CELL PHONE — in the vicinity of children! Evil! (And I quote: “What happens if the children in the pool look up and they can’t see your eyes because you’re looking at your phone instead of watching them?” Uhh, dude? My kid’s two pools away with her instructor? And she wants to be swimming with other kids, rather than looking to her mom for approval of her every move? Which is, ahem, a good thing?)

    Because, you know, you’re now the best parent ever because you have loudly demonstrated that you never use a cell phone in the vicinity of any child ever. Also, you like to presume how total strangers parent and manage their cell phones the other 23.5 hours a day when their children are not in lessons with a qualified adult. Parents MUST be engaging with their child every moment of the day — even while being taught by someone else! Parents taking time for themselves — sacrilege! The children will be forever tarnished!

    Note that if I’d have had my head buried in a physical newspaper he’d have left me alone, because only cell phones seem to invite parental superiority. (Because paper is SO practical at a swimming pool, and so environmentally friendly.)

    • Jenilee says:

      I would probably laugh hysterically at someone if they made a scene about me on my phone while my child is clearly occupied with an activity, especially if they thought I needed to constantly have my eyes on them so if they looked up they would be able to make eye contact

  37. lilyred says:

    Buy kids a roomful of junk for Christmas/birthdays and in-between–just because you can.

  38. Guest says:

    This one is for the parents of cognitively disabled parents; I have a kid with a speech delay and learning difficulties.
    * Absolutely brag like crazy about your precious child’s accomplishments. Especially giving dates of each big milestone; like first word, first time sleeping through the night and when they learned the ABC’s, to a parent of a child with disabilities. Once you do, sit back and watch as their soul is crushed and they go sit in their car and cry uncontrollably for 30 minutes! (This actually happened, didn’t go back to THAT playgroup)

  39. Sue in Atlanta says:

    No matter how old the “child” gets…even at 39 continue to brag about them to anyone who will listen…..after all they are still your “Baby”….Not that I’m saying I’m guilty of this….”Fill” in the bragging with stories of the grandchild.

  40. Kat says:

    Always share on Facebook:

    “Proud of my kids! Straight A’s again!”

  41. Jenilee says:

    Oh don’t forget to always over indulge your child in things such as sports. Oh your child is in the outfield picking their nose and twirling and the ball just landed not a foot from them but they didn’t pick it up or even join the game, and your response to that is “you did so good out there, your such a great player”

    Umm are we watching the same game.

    Yes encourage your kids but teach them as well, don’t tell them they did good when they did do anything. Giving false gratification is almost worse then over indulging the gratification

    • lilyred says:

      Actually saw a young woman host on TV recently. You could tell that she had been “indulged” all her life. She kept saying “Oh, am I doing a good job or what” or “I’m doing great, aren’t I?” etc. Sad.

  42. Iwanttobeahack says:

    The beauty of being in the middle of raising three teenagers is the ability to tell the people in described in this list to get a grip, sit down and shut the #uck up.

  43. Arhi Mith says:

    I agree with everything except the dressing part. I dress as I want to, I don’t care if my teen wouldn’t like it, tough. I am not going to flirt with boys, though, euuu.

  44. Brownhare says:

    Ask me what gift I have tucked away for my child’s birthday which is a fortnight away. Then rush out and buy your child that exact toy as a casual gift and send him over with it later the same day to show my son.

  45. Ellen says:

    Trying to impose religious beliefs on others. One of my friend’s mom always did that. Another thing that she always did whenever I was over at their house is call her daughter from the other room every five minutes. It was always, “Julie, come here a minute.” I don’t know if she did that all the time or only when I was over there. Another thing that parents do that annoyed me is taking the tone “I know that I am not your mother, but you should not be doing this or that.” No one should be disciplining other people’s children. It was even worse when their own children would do things, but they won’t discipline them.

  46. PeonyJade says:

    Millennial and younger gen x parents don’t seem to understand that employers and casual acquaintances are likely not interested in Facebook posts about their kid’s poopy diaper! Posts about pregnancy,child-rearing and your love life are for close friends and family ONLY

  47. PeonyJade says:

    Millennial and younger gen x parents don’t seem to understand that employers and casual acquaintances are likely not interested in Facebook posts about their kid’s poopy diaper! Posts about pregnancy,child-rearing and your love life are for close friends and family ONLY

  48. […] to your parents if they may find it helpful. If you want to laugh a little after this serious topic here is a post from another blogger maybe you’ll like […]

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