The Day That Everything Changed

Where have I been this time?

Well. Monday and Tuesday, I went to a “secret” “professional training event” in New York City that was really, REALLY awesome, and yet was populated with 20-somethings– and me– and made me feel, for the very first time, OLD.

Especially when, at the end of the event, one of the 20 somethings said, “The establishment may have money and power, but we’re willing to work harder and we’re young– well, most of us–” and then he awkwardly looked over at me.

Yeah. Has anyone seen my cane?!

So I got back from that event at midnight on Tuesday night and was all prepared to post a hilarious story for you on Wednesday when….

There’s just no easy way to say this. My stepmother (who has been my stepmother since I was seven) died unexpectedly Wednesday morning. So. God. Just writing that made tears just start shooting out of my eyes. I’m still processing the whole thing, obviously. I’ll probably write about it later. I may not. I just don’t know.

I have spent the last three days with my family and there’s just no other way to say it. IT SUCKED. It sucked so hard. I can’t even express in words how bad it all sucked, except if you’ve been through the death of a parent or stepparent already, particularly if it was unexpected (not that an expected death is any easier, there’s just a certain kind of I-wasn’t-prepared sucker punch when it’s unexpected), you probably know exactly what I’m talking about.

The service was last night. Dennis and I got back at midnight, slept for three hours, then flew to Quebec City this morning for our tenth anniversary honeymoon trip, which we had been planning for months. I am raw. I am exhausted (for sooooo many reasons). I am processing. (PROCESSING. Such an our-generation word, isn’t it? I’m pretty sure my grandparents didn’t do any ‘processing’ when they were my age. Whatever.) I am going to try my best to relax for a few days and try to remember what it’s like to spend time thinking about my husband instead of whether we remembered sippy cups and how late the kids are allowed to stay up and whose turn it is to choose what we watch on the hotel tv and all that other stuff that comes with family vacations. In other words, WE NEED THIS.

We’ll pick up the kids at the end of next week and come back home. The next day, I’ll leave to shoot a dozen or so video stories during a two-week ‘Moms Matter 2012 Road Trip’ in Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Florida. We’ve found a lot of great women to cover and I am reaaaaalllllly excited about it, but yeah. I’m going to be pretty busy for the rest of the summer. In a good way.

Don’t worry, I’ll keep checking in with you guys as often as the mood hits me, which is OFTEN. I’m trying to write this blog now purely for the enjoyment of it.  Monday, I’ll show you the latest episode of I’ll Take That Dare, which is EPIC. And I still have that hilarious, already-written story to share with you. And I do want to tell you more about my stepmother, once I’ve had a little time to digest everything that has happened. And, and, and… Well, we have lots to talk about.

I just wanted to take today to tell you what’s going on, so that you wouldn’t worry.

Because I know some of you out there feel like we kind of maybe could be very best friends if we knew each other in real life.

And you know what?

I feel like we kind of maybe could be, too.