Baby Brains
I wrote the MUZZY post yesterday as yet another example of the increasing amount of pressure on parents to either spend big bucks on developing the brains of the under-three crowd or face dire consequences.
Since Baby was born, I’ve felt continual pressure to enroll her in baby developmental classes or baby sign language classes or to buy her flashcards or Little Einstein DVDs or whatever developmental toy is in fashion at the moment. And you know what? I’m sick of it. I’m sick of the pressure and I’m sick of the guilt I feel sometimes, wondering if by turning down the expensive toys and classes, I’m denying her important learning tools that will help her keep up with the other kids.
I know a lot of moms who take their toddlers to developmental gyms or music appreciation classes and absolutely love them- and that’s fine. I think that if you have the money to do it and you’d like to meet other moms and babies, go for it. But I really resent the implication (made occasionally by moms, but more often by the literature and “sales” people for these classes) that if I don’t enroll my child, I’m setting her on a path to destruction from which she may never recover.
On Gymboree’s website: It’s essential for parents and caregivers to nurture a child’s development during this time [birth to 3 years]. The Gymboree Learning Program is a critical component to supporting this development.
Critical? Er. Okay.
The Music Class: Research shows that early childhood is the window of opportunity to increase the lifelong music aptitude of a child. TMC provides several programs that capitalize on this critical time period.
Again with the critical.
I don’t know, right now, I consider my child’s critical needs to be food, water, clothing, shelter and diaper changes. Everything else that’s provided for her is a bonus, because I love her. Using the word “critical” in a description of expensive baby classes seems a bit ridiculous.
Still, I wouldn’t want to judge the trendy baby curriculum without trying it out for myself. I had been meaning for a long time now to go to a few sample baby classes and find out what exactly my child was missing. You can find out what happened here, in this week’s edition of the Nashville Scene.
The full text of the column is below.
Buying Baby Brains
Iโm on all fours in a roomful of strangers, growling and pawing the ground.
โGrrrr! Iโm a tiger!โ I say unconvincingly to my two-year-old daughter, who is watching me from a corner.
She gives me a look that says, Actually, youโre an embarrassing excuse for a mom, and frowns. Stuck amid a traffic jam created by six other โtigerโ moms crawling around me, I realize that I have hit rock bottom.
Thatโs how this story ends.ย It began two and a half years ago, when Baby was just a few months old.
โHave you signed her up for Gymboree yet?โ my friend Kim asked me then. I shook my head. โThose classes really help with early development skills, you know,โ she said knowledgeably. โAmelia has been going since she was two weeks old.
A week later, my friend Susan informed me that her six-week-old also was earning credits toward his baby degree.
โIโve enrolled Terrence in Kindermusik,โ she told me over the phone. โYou really should bring Baby. They say itโs crucial to develop tonal appreciation as early as possible.โ
โI thought you were taking him to baby sign language classes,โ I said.
โThose are on Tuesdays,โ Susan said patiently.ย โKindermusik is on Thursdays.โ
I looked over at my baby, gurgling in her bouncer, and wondered what these mommies were smoking. The way I saw it, I could either sing Mary Had a Little Lamb and wave toys in her face at home, free of charge, or I could spend a few hundred dollars to do it in a room full of tiny, drooling germ carriers. Either way, I doubted sheโd notice the difference. And so for a long time, I refused to take Baby to anything that wasnโt free or at least dirt cheap, earning myself a reputation among my friends as the Stay-at-Home-Scrooge of Early Childhood Development.
But by the time Baby turned two the stakes were even higher. In addition to Kindermusik ($135 for five weeks, plus a $35 registration fee) and Gymboree classes ($60 per month, with a 3-month minimum), Baby could start training with the Nashville School of Ballet ($295 per semester) or join a recreational soccer league ($80 per season, two seasons per year). At this point, nearly every mom I knew had signed her toddler up for something. As the lone holdout, I started worrying that my anti-curriculum crusade would turn Baby into a half-wit, intellectually starved on a meager diet of library books, Play-Doh, Nick Drake CDs and trips to the playground. What if I was making a huge mistake? What if she really needed a psychologist-approved set of activities that would have her throwing plastic balls into a barrel under the supervision of an Austin Peay dropout?ย Who was I to deny her that opportunity?
Under intense pressure, I decided to take her to a few sample classes and determine whether they were really worth the Benjamins. Thatโs how Baby and I ended up at the local mallโs Gymboree play center a few weeks ago, ready to mix it up with Bellevueโs best and brightest (under-three division). Although only one other mom and toddler showed up for the class, I wasnโt fazed. Baby would surely benefit from the teacherโs practically undivided attention.
Trouble was, Baby was off somewhere in the back of the playroom, more interested in the slides and rocking horses than the dayโs lesson on circles. It wasnโt long before the other toddler abandoned the class as well, choosing instead to follow Baby around the room.
โI hate classes like this,โ the teacher said several times as she guided the other mom and me in thumping tubes on the ground and holding a parachute over our heads while singing and marching in a circle. From time to time, shoppers in the mall would stop and stare at us through the play centerโs plate glass windows. I tried to hide behind my hair, but one guy took video of us on his camera phone, anyway. I could already picture the YouTube headline:ย โAnd You Thought Your Life Was Lame.โ
It took me a few weeks to recover before I gathered the resolve to try one more class.ย A few of my friends had kids enrolled in The Music Playhouse (at $150 for ten weeks, you could call it the cheap-ass version of Kindermusik) and had been trying to get me to join. Although eight toddlers filled the room this time, we moms still ended up doing the activities mostly on our own while our kids stumbled around the room in confusion. After pretending to be a tiger for a while, I ended up playing the caboose in a train full of mommies, all shouting โWoo, woo!โ each time the instructor blew her special whistle.
As I said. Rock bottom.
Looking around the room, I couldnโt figure out why so many moms were paying for this. In desperation, I fired off an e-mail about the whole thing to parenting guru John Rosemond (www.rosemond.com), a fiery advocate of what he calls โtraditional parenting.โ He wrote back and informed me that the toddler teaching trend is one of his โfavorite rants,โ claiming the classes were mostly a way for moms to feel good about themselves.
โThe implicit understanding,โ he wrote, โ[is] that the mom who has her kid in the most โenrichmentโ activities at the earliest age is, of course (everyone knows, don’t they?), the BEST MOM ON THE BLOCK AND PERHAPS THE BEST MOM EVER IN THE HISTORY OF TIME AND SPACE!!!โ
I was starting to like this guy. But unfortunately, he had some bad news for me.
โIn part, this is how women make friends these days,โ Rosemond explained. โTherefore, to pull one’s kid out of these silly programs is to risk not just a loss of social opportunities, but downright rejection. Who wants to associate with a loser?โ
I guess Iโm about to find out.
>I love the column. I’m in a somewhat different boat as my two girls are in daycare now but baby “gym” or fancy classical music classes were unheard of when I was a kid and look how great I turned out! Cough, cough. ๐ I did take ballet when I was 5 and piano lessons starting when I was 8, but when I started preschool at age 4 I was well versed in Sesame Street and had picked up quite a bit by just playing with my older siblings.I think these classes for really young children tend to be more of a social outlet and mental pat on the back for the mommies. I’d say Baby is doing just fine sculpting with PlayDoh, going to the park, and watching Dora. Besides, she’s about to be a big sister and that’s a huge learning experience!
>I just love how everyone is out to make a buck off our little ones.Our children are born with curiousity about their world and absorb everything around them like a sponge…all for free. It is totally unnecessary to spend a fortune on them. As for Muzzy…we checked it out from our library and failed miserably at it. It’s based on total immersion and there wasn’t anything that I knew so that I could figure out what he was talking about. I guess I missed that window. *sigh*
>I’ve wanted to get my kids (ages 5 and 2) involved in something like gymnastics, soccer, or martial arts, but I also refuse to play the games. I work full-time, and any extracurricular activities would take time away from our already very limited time together. I wonder how often parents consult the kids. Obviously toddlers can’t make all their own decisions, but my 5-year old constantly tells me how much he hates daycare. He likes the teachers; he likes the kids; he likes to play. He would just rather be with mom! So if I put him in an activity, he’d probably like it, but he’d probably like some good cuddling time with me even better.
>So well said. The Baby Einstein phenomenon is one of the more insidious forms of marketing to parents out there – you’ll raise a dolt if you don’t buy the videos, do signing classes, attend Gymboree? Bah. BAH. *I*, as it happens, was not born yesterday.
>I think 3 is a great age to start a class. A CLASS. I started ballet at three and loved it. I hope to put my daughter in a dance class when she’s three and see how she likes it. I’ll probably also enroll her in a 1/2-day-a-week preschool. I think three is a great age to begin those babysteps toward kindergarten and classroom learning.Again, I’m not knocking anyone who signs up their younger children for baby classes. I think they are absolutely fine from a socialization standpoint (of the moms and the babies), but I think all this jargon about baby classes making them smarter is bullshit and it’s putting unnecessary guilt on a lot of moms who either can’t afford the classes or don’t have the time for them and are just trying to do the best they can.
>I wondered how quickly “they” would be out and on that post. Ultimately, it’s your child. Some people just don’t seem to get that. I want to scream from the gallows, “Why the hell do you care about someone else’s son’s penis?” or “Why do you care if I breastfed or not?”Anyway, I got really sick of the “critical” crap too. Baby Einstein came out after I had #3 and people were gushing about it and I’m thinking, “Uh. What’s wrong with playing classical music and interacting with your child yourself?” I’m pretty sure my older 3 wouldn’t be doing any better in school if they had watched pretty colors and shapes and heard violins and pianos as infants.
>”I’m pretty sure my older 3 wouldn’t be doing any better in school if they had watched pretty colors and shapes and heard violins and pianos as infants.”…on a TV screen. Forgot to add that.
>Thanks for the great reminder of this! We moved to a wealthy suburb last year, and I sometimes start to think “We should have our son in this/that”–but in this case it’s to make friends for him…since he has none! Instead he’s in preschool 2 days a week and I’m just hoping we’ll find free ways to meet people instead of the classes. Sorry your circumcision debate went down the drain. I finally had the chance to ask my husband what he thought, but don’t want to wade through the negative stuff to share (he isn’t, and his response? A shrug, it wasn’t a big deal at all). Sad how some people get so upset about certain topics.
>When I first had my daughter, I thought I’d want to have her take classes at The Little Gym, but wanted to wait until she could walk so I wouldn’t feel like I was wasting my money.Now that she’s 14 months old and just starting to walk, I don’t see the point in it until she’s around 3. At least then she’ll know that she wants to go to the class. And she can pick – gymnastics, ballet, etc.And definitely a part time preschool at 3, as long as we can afford it. By then, I’ll have #2 (hopefully) and will need a break. And on the plus side, she’ll get socialization and learn skills that will help her in kindergarten.I always dread having to deal with these parents who overschedule themselves and their kids. I’m just not going to do that.
>There were plenty of geniuses raised when all they had to play with was blocks and tops, you know?I never had the privilege of parenting a baby, so I never dealt with the baby classes.The absolute greatest thing we’ve found for our kids is community education. My daughter has taken dance twice, she’s now in basketball and will be starting a self-defense (To her, it’s karate) classes. The classes are usually cheap and they are short. (dance was about $15 for six sessions, basketball was 35 for 7, self-defense will be 60 for 12 weeks.) Boy has done basketball so far. I love them, because they are like sampling activities for the kids. They dont’ require much of a commitment or supplies. They give the kids a chance to try it out and see if they like it. If not, move on and find something else. We both work full-time, too, and the comm. ed. classes usually accommodate our schedules (more so in the last county we lived in…this one has a LOT more SAHM’s!!!). Oh, and our old center daycare offered to enroll Sunshine in that music thing, too. I laughed. They got paid A LOT of money to watch my kid, then they wanted MORE to teach her an instrument. The part that pissed me off the most? They gave her a “trial” without my permission, so it was “Please, please, please can I do this?” (NONE of the kids got enrolled, BTW, so it ended up not being a problem.)
>I guess the thing is we have this income we need to dispose of and lots of guilt about our kids … a marketing dream come true.I think all we really need to be doing — aside from the basics you outlined — is to talk to our kids (actually speaking to them like they matter as humans) and most will be just fine.- toyfoto
>The class we go to is at the library and it’s freaking free. Free is right up my alley! That’s what’s best about living in the middle of no where: no guilt to participate in over-priced crap… because we don’t have the offering of over-priced crap!That said, I avoid all discussions of highly debatable parenting topics with a ten-foot pole.
>Mitzi – please don’t let those other moms get you down. It may take a couple of weeks to find someone you can have a pleasant conversation with while you watch the kids. Or bring headphones and listen to your favorite tunes or a book on tape while watching your daughter.Competitive parenting is a pet peeve of mine. How do these people know they are doing such a great thing for their three-year-old anyway? Who knows which of our preschoolers will be mature, responsible adults 30 years from now? I heard an interesting interview on the Diane Rehm show last week with a man named David Elkind, who wrote a book about the power of play. He dislikes the commercialization of childhood and says there is a lot of research to show that what kids really need is unstructured play time, not classes. You can listen to the interview online at http://www.wamu.org/programs/dr/07/01/04.php#12205My three-year-old takes one class and my first grader takes two. But nothing is as fun as a trip to the playground, or even an hour in our sandbox. If it wasn’t for winter, I might not bother with the classes at all!
>Girl, you are my hero. Not only for putting yourself out there, but for handling the backlash with aplomb.I worked in the mall before it was a Ghost Town, and would walk past Gymboree every day. Admittedly, I had no interest in early childhood development at the time (I was 17), and I would stand and watch those moms go nuts with the parachute or the other playthings while the kids ran around playing tag. Can’t say that I ever really got it.
>all we need to do is actually PLAY with our kids – not pay someone else to do it! Why do we always make things so hard for ourselves?
>You waited to expose Baby to these classes? You mean you didn’t start this whole process in utero? Gees…talk about critical!Seriously, let’s face facts that if some company wants your money, then they are going to use whatever means they can get away with to get it. In this case, it is branding your kid as a moron if they don’t get exposed to the play class/musical instrument/foreign language of the week. It’s a marketing ploy and that’s all.
>Yeah, the problem is that we’re also forced to deal with the (many, many) moms buying into this marketing ploy.And by the way, for my friends who are in these classes and reading this blog, I’m not referring to you. ๐ I’m referring to women I’ve run into over the years who are not my friends and give me the old raised eyebrows/ veiled catty comments when they’ve learned that Baby is not in whatever-the-trend-of-the-moment class.
>The first organized activity I signed my daughter up for was just this past year after she was in 1st grade (she’s in that girl’s organization that sells cookies this time of year). The first organized sport she will participate in will be soccer, starting next month. She’s 6, going on 7. According to what all the hype tells me regarding these things, I’m a bad mom! But we chose to keep life simple for our fammily and we’ll continue that way for as long as we possibly can.
>Love your blog! As for kids classes, I’ve tried quite a few. Not because I buy into the whole “cricital” argument, but because I want my kids to have an opportunity to get out of the house, play well with others, and maybe learn something in the process. If they didn’t enjoy the activity, we quit. And I’ve never felt guilty over the things I didn’t have them do. Let’s face it – my generation had very little by way of organized activities. And even though things are a little warped in our world sometimes, I think we do just fine. Fine enough to raise children, that is.Saw the mothering.com ‘discussion’ on your circumsision entry. Wow. Scary mean. Thanks for the warning!
>This is a new phenomenoa, this over important child thing. I believe there is nothing more important thing you can give a child than unconditional love And your attention. I remember trying to keep up with this “Improve your childs chances of future success” movement nearly fifteen years ago as a financially strapped single mother of two sons. I enrolled the six year old in after school karate classes. My sons would bathe and dress for school the night before. I would wake at 4:30, make their lunches, pack their bags, then put on their shoes and coats and carry each one to the warmed up and waiting car. They would go to their babysitters, then school, then back to her house, then I would pick them up after work. “Karate, tonight, now Momma. I’m so tired.”We quit karate. When I was a kid, we played outside with our friends all day long. We made up tons of games, we made our own rules, we used our imaginations. It is my opinion that all of this structure to make our kids smarter and better than anyone else is a big mistake. Kids learn they have to be better than everyone vs. equal to and that they do not know what to do with themselves without some adult (later government), telling them how to do it. Give your kids a basketball hoop some friends and lots of time to create, as Albert Einstein once said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge.”Oh yeah, one of my sons, now 20 years old (and uncircd, is a babe magnet who plays eight musical instruments, is a fantastic athelete, and is on the U.Mass dean’s list and is a fabulous artist and the other is also an historically advanced student, incredibly hard working and happily in love. We couldn’t afford all that plastic and those clases and I am thankful for it. Raise individuals, not conformists without a clue to what it is to have an independant thought!
>There are so many posts on your “to snip or not” that I just wanted to say this here so you would see it:Whatever your decision is, do it, think about it never again. Personally, I don’t think God made babies imperfectly and I am aware that the foreskin actually has a physiological purpose which contributes to the health of the body. I think cutting the foreskin off of a newborn babies’ penis is a most barbaric and un-nurturing welcome to this lifetime. I wrote a ranting soapbox response about this as requested by Michelle O Neil on Full- Soul Ahead, she didn’t publish it. It might have been something you wouldn’t have published either, too contentious. I have paid the consequences for ranting, all day. Woke up to a broken hot water heater while on the rag and menopausal- sweating all night. Rushing to work and stuck behind one old man, one dump truck and one tractor on country winding backroads. Please forgive me, do what you wish, that’s what makes the world go round. My sons have told me that being un snipped never affected them in any way. Healthy,happy and darn attractive those boys! Blessed be-
>My kids never took those classes when they were little. But I don’t think there was as much peer pressure to do that Baby Einstein stuff back them. (mid 80’s, early 90’s). Both of my girls turned out to pretty damned brainy despite the “lack” of stimulation.
>I am laughing at that last anonymous in the “To Snip or Not To Snip” comments who says “My boy is whole as the day he was born. I’m a circumcised male, too” And this little gem, “If babies were ment to have a foreskin, they’d be born with them.”Dude, seriously. LMFAO. (Oh, and Hi! – I’m de-lurking since it’s National De-Lurking Week. Or something. LOVE the blog, but I may go back into hiding – you get all the crazies over here, and someone is bound to lose an eyeball. ๐
>Egads- both my kids (4 and 18 months) are in The Music Class… and have been since my oldest was 18 months old. I did it out of the need to get out of the house and low and behold she LOVED the class.Now I must take a second out on my house to pay for both of them to attend… and I get to feel like a total idiot dancing and singing each week. Thanks for reminding me I’ve hit rock bottom. :)Worst of all? I haven’t met a single woman worth being friends with. They all goo and gaa over their brilliant children and I can’t stand the need to compete. Unless it’s something that I can win money doing… but that’s just me.
>Oh, wait – my bad, Anonymous. You went on to say that you chose NOT to have your son snipped as you were. I see. But I’m still laughing about the born with the foreskin thing.
>Here’s what I learned:If your child enjoys it – and you can afford it, then it’s worth it.If you are signing up for it out of guilt or worry about measuring up, it is NOT worth it.In the end, your child will remember your creativity more than she will ever remember a class.
>Seems like moms today have confused “wanting the best for their child” with “wanting their child to be the best”…referring to the trend to do all these genius-enhancing-money-sucking activities and holding kids back a year in school so they will be smarter, taller and better than their classmates. Competing with one another only makes our jobs as moms more difficult. It’s hard enough to endure the pressure of raising our children to be healthy, responsibile, self-sufficient adults. Why must we add in the pressure of making them all Ivy League graduates? My greatest wish for my sons is for them to grow up to be happy and emotionally healthy adults. I expect my children to live up to THEIR potential…not anyone else’s. While they have the chance, why can’t we just let them be kids?
>i just found your blog. you sound quite intelligent and funny! thanks for that.I hate to comment on a by gone topic but the circumsicion topic got me. ANYONE that is educated & wants to consider their kid 1st will not circumcise. It’s completely disgusting to me that people cut a piece of their boy’s body off because that is what Americans do. Stick up for your boy, give them an open mind and soul! Research circumcision and find out HOW it began, it’s screwed up religious reasons(and we are very involved in our lutherun church). we are one of the only countries that routinely circumcice our babies. i have 3 girls and 1 boy and always knew i would not do that to my son. as for classes for the young, etc…it’s the same as playgroup or anything else. for us it is community based. do you want to be involved in your community and teach community to your children? that is of the upmost importance to us. so we get involved in story hours and playgroups and classes.
>I came by for the foreskin chat (how funny does that sound, hehe!) but I’m staying because I’m really enjoying how you’re questioning the things that some moms do. Like Muzzy. Anyone remember that old commercial from about 15 years ago with the little girl who said “je suis la jeune fille!” and “un deux trois!”? When I got to 7th grade French class when I was 12, that was the first thing we all wanted to learn ๐
>The Toddler – now 3 1/2 – started swimming lessons when she was 19 months old, not because I want her to compete in the Olympics (although her grandfather is convinced she will) but because she showed no fear at all in the pool and I was afraid of the consequences if she didn’t learn to swim. She goes twice a week and can now swim 15+ metres (that’s nearly 50 feet) unassisted. I obviously don’t send her out to the pool by herself, and she certainly can’t do a ‘proper’ stroke, but the peace of mind to know that she can get to safety if she falls into a pool is invaluable.As for the other stuff – it’s all marketing BS. Us reading to her has more value than all the DVDs in the world.And you know where I standon the circ debate. Clive had his 2 week post-snip check and is f-i-n-e fine. I’ll always respect you no matter what you decide Linds. ๐
>That’s what most activities for 1-3 year olds are about, meeting other moms, getting out of the house.Fortunately, all of my playgroup mom friends liked to do things like go to parks, farms, hikes, museums, libraries, etc. I went to Gymboree twice and hated everything about it. Later we signed up for gymnastics, because it really was fun for her, but even that, I realized later only made sense after two when they could stay in a circle. After two it’s all about getting them out of the house.I never bought a Baby Einstein video because they just always seemed weird to me, but I must say the Little Einstein show on TV is absolutely adorable. I love it . It rocks, I don’t even know if the two are related actually. Probably not. So, when Baby turns three or four, check it out. It’s very cool. Wonderpets is also very cute.
>Baby LOVES Wonderpets. She knows the whole chant at the beginning and says it while she’s playing sometimes. ๐
>My daughter’s “Gymboree” experience was through frequent trips to various playgrounds and hikes through the woods. Her “music” experience was providing as many different instruments as possible for her playing pleasure and playing a variety of music. She LOVES classical and Celtic music and can pick out the different instruments as they play in a piece.Not too bad, and I didn’t spend a fortune enrolling her in classes, either. Kids don’t need “classes,” they need parents who are willing to expose them and teach them and encourage learning at every opportunity.
>This might be rather strange but forget about all those toys and DVDs.I didn’t go to preschool and pretty much before I was 6 years old I only climbed trees.So first year of school was a bit strange for me, but I was creative and lively. After grade 2 I was in a gifted program and I advanced to the top of my class until now that I have finished a masters degree.Please don’t put pressure on the kids. Just let them be kids and enjoy that.
>My wife and I debated back and forth on circumcision. She for, me not for. Finally we settled the whole issue very easily. We had a girl.
>My wife and I debated back and forth on circumcision. She for, me not for. Finally we settled the whole issue very easily. We had a girl.
>And since I said that twice, let me post a third time and say, “oops.”Stupid Blogger.And no I don’t know if I mean blogger as in me, or as in the website. Probably both.
>$180 for Gymboree? That’s crazy! I don’t know anyone who’s done that here, though they probably are into that on the other side of town…I’m all about the free activities at the library. And we have a membership at the local children’s museum.Anyone who’s into competitive parenting has way too much time on her hands! Kids can have a blast with an empty box and a balloon. And the radio plays classical music! They don’t need anything fancy.
>I totally agree with you – I am so angered and offended and disgusted with all the pseudo-educational crap that is marketed by playing on parents’ insecurities and wanting the best for their kids. The best for your kids? REading with them yourself, not via Leappad. Singing with them, even if you’re off-key, not plying them with expensive programmes. Taking them to run and play outside, not necessarily in pricey goal-oriented programmes. Grrr, it makes me mad.
>You always know how to start a good commenting conversation. I need to get another cup of coffee, delve in & catch up!So…are you going to add them to The Pissed List?
>As an organizing expert, I work with families a LOT. One of the common threads that runs through chaotic families is OVER-scheduling children. I am always trying to get my clients to reconsider getting their little ones into every class, lesson, and extra-curricular activity known to mankind. Is it REALLY crucial that she can play violin and speak three languages by the time she’s six?? Heck, I didn’t even go to pre-school and I turned out great! What happened to unstructured play time? What happened to pretend time and using your imagination and building forts with blankets? I fear that today’s over-structured children won’t learn to think for themselves, will not develop their creativity and imaginations and will ultimately suffer from so much scheduled learning and recreation. Not to mention, by over-scheduling them, we’re modeling over-scheduling as a life norm, which isn’t good.
>I haven’t taken my 15 month old to anything that wasn’t free and all my mommy-friends look at me like I’m nuts when I won’t go pay $15/pop for him to play at the Little Gym freetime or whatever it is. He climbs on the furniture just fine. He doesn’t need a gym *lol*.I can also relate on the mothering.com thing. I signed up there when I was pregnant b/c it is totally me. I’m a hippy and love it. Then I started getting really mean messages about the evils of not breastfeeding (I’m STILL breastfeeding my 15 mo old) and it was way way too intense for me. I guess it was a premptory scolding? I don’t know. Btw, I was talking to my husband about your circumcision discussion and he said not to worry about the hygiene issue. He said that a young man’s penis is his cleanest body part because who doesn’t want permission to play with it in the shower? (He and my son are not circ’d).
>just discovered your blog and loving it. you have great MOM-instincts. screw the experts and the critical mass. just love the kid to bits. it’s enough.
>As I’m writing this, I’m watching my 8 year old daughter and her friend, who are outside playing in the snow. Unstructured play time rocks! And it’s free! They’re exploring, building, inventing, exercising…. you name it!I’m a preschool teacher, so obviously I do find merit in some early childhood education programs. However, would you like to know who gets the most out of preschool? The children who are also allowed to explore freely at home with crayons, scissors, modeling clay… good, unstructured quality time with Mom or Dad or siblings.Unstructured playtime? I think it’s essential. What a great way for children to learn and practice ways to relate to others, to share, to negotiate, to stretch their imagination, to enjoy being a kid…. the list goes on and on!I’m not saying that kids won’t get anything out of expensive Gymboree classes, but from my standpoint as a mommy and a teacher, learning and growth happen quite beautifully for free!
>I have two year old twins. They adore Muzzy and are learning both French and Chinese. It works — really works. Consider what I got from my $20 Disney ‘Cars’ movie purchase. NOTHING! With the Disney stuff comes the merchandising — Lightning McQueen sheets, pajamas, coloring books, pillows, talking car toys… and thatโs just for William. Grace has the Sally car and the songsโฆ). This โcarsโ junk cost me way more than muzzy. And the cars movie has ZERO educational value. With muzzy I can see tangible results. It was a good buy.
>Just sad about the mom who’s kids say they hate the daycare, but she doesn’t want to let them participate in extra curricular activities that they would enjoy because that takes away from the time she does get to spend with them. Sounds like they are getting ripped off. They have to be in a place they hate all day AND not get to do things they enjoy when they are not in daycare! Not trying to lay a guilt trip because us Mommy’s have plenty of that already- but if my kids said they hated the place that they spend most of their waking hours at- I would do whatever I needed to do to change that. It isn’t about how much money we spend on our kids, or the whole sickening competetive mommy culture out there- it is about giving out kids a happy childhood that they can look back on with fondness and want to recreate for their own kids.
>The funny thing about Baby Einstein is that a recent study showed that children exposed to these videos actually performed lower on cognitive testing! That sucks! Just goes to show that what is new and trendy is not always valuable- mommy’s unite in following your gut instinct!Also- believe that studies have shown that circumcision reduces certain forms of cancer. We are also born with fingernails, hair, appendixes & tonsils- the “born with it” logic doesn’t hold water for me. Our son was circumcised in a hospital by a medical professional, not with a jagged rock in a sub-saharan village! He fussed for maybe 30 seconds- about as long as my daughters did when they had their ears “barbarically” pierced! Get over yourselves crunchy, self rightous, granola moms!