>Beastly Behavior

>I haven’t written all that much lately about our dog, Dipper.

I mean, I’ve admitted that we don’t really get along. And I’ve also told you all about his penchant for attempting to “get busy” with pre-adolescent girls.

But lately, there hasn’t been all that much to write about where Dipper’s concerned. Once my stepdaughters’ friends turned 13 or so, he gave up his attempts to be a Doggie Don Juan, and has behaved himself for so long now that I figured Punky and her friends were safe. She’s had several friends over to play out in the backyard and he’s all but ignored them.

And then Punky’s friend Maria came over.

Maria is a dog lover, and she wanted to pet Dipper and play with Dipper and give him lots of kisses. As she made a fuss over him, his tail began wagging in that old familiar way.

“Uh, Maria,” I croaked. “Watch out, okay? Dipper might need some time to himself.”

“Oh, don’t worry about me,” she said in that knowledgeable five-year-old way. “I love doggies.”

Dipper’s tail wagged faster.

“I’m serious, Maria,” I said. “Let’s leave Dipper alone for a moment.”

“Who’s a wittle puppy-wuppy?” she said, ignoring me. “Who’s my wittle puppy wuppy wuppy?”

At that moment, it happened. Dipper jumped up on Maria and prepared to assume the position. Luckily, I was ready.

“Get down, Dipper,” I said firmly, leaping into action and pulling him off before he could engage in anything that would emotionally scar the girl for life. Oblivious, Maria laughed.

“It’s okay if he jumps on me,” she said. “I don’t mind.”

“You know, I think your mommy might mind a lot!” I muttered as I dragged Dipper off toward the garage.

Clearly, the next few years are going to be interesting.

For all my complaining, though, I have to admit that Dipper’s not all bad. In fact, he’s helped keep my marriage and my sanity intact in one crucial way. You can find out how in this week’s newspaper edition of Suburban Turmoil.

And you know how I visit the blogs of those of you who take the time to leave a comment over there? I’m still doing it. But yesterday, the website changed formats and… well… all the comments disappeared. I know. I was pretty upset about it.

So while I apologize from the bottom of my heart, if I haven’t gotten to your blog yet, will you please let me know so that I can find you? You can either e-mail me or leave a new comment on my latest post today. We’ll just make a fresh start of it.