I'm Lindsay Ferrier, a Nashville writer with a passion for family travel, exploring Tennessee, and raising kids without losing my mind in the process. This is where I share my discoveries, along with occasional deep thoughts, pop culture tangents and a sprinkling of snark. Want to get in touch? Use the CONTACT form at the top of the page.
October 4, 2008
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Punky really doesn’t have that many friends. All told, there probably are ten kids on her short list of companions and at the age of four, I think that’s just about right. Ten friends means someone is always available for a playdate and we can put on a decent-sized birthday party, even if a few kids can’t make it.
Of course, there are other children in town that Punky vaguely knows- the little girl in the next neighborhood whom we met at the park one day. The kid she spent 15 minutes playing with at the mall while his mom and I chatted about the sale at Dillards. The children at the YMCA nursery, one of whom she swears is named ‘Belly,’ which for some reason I find hard to believe… The list goes on. And on. And on.
Inevitably, these children’s mothers take down my contact information when we meet. “We’ll have to get Punky and Martha together some time,” they flutter insincerely, “Oh, definitely,” I respond, equally insincerely. We’ve all done this kind of thing a thousand times. It’s not that we don’t really want our kids to get to know each other better, it’s just that we’re all so damn busy that there’s no way in hell this fantasy playdate is ever going to become a reality.
Yet despite the fact that Punky never sees the kid again, an invitation for little Martha’s birthday party arrives by mail or in my e-mail inbox, four months, six months, even a year later. By this time, Punky doesn’t even remember little Martha and I barely recall her mom. Still, I’m supposed to RSVP to this thing, and worry over whether to buy the kid a present. And I’m left wondering why on earth we were invited.
“Maybe Martha’s mom wants to get to know you better,” my husband said recently, after I got one of these invitations.
Maybe… But if that were the case, why have there been no offers for playdates, or lunches out, or meetings at the library?
The fact is that over the last two years, I’ve gotten several invitations from the parents of children we’ve only met once (not to mention one or two invitations for children I don’t remember meeting at all), and I’m beginning to wonder if a number of moms are out there trolling the playgrounds and children’s clothing stores for future birthday party invitees, because little McFartypants has to have the best birthday of all time! And the most presents! And a large number of guests! Whether he/she knows them or not!
I expect my patience really will be tested when Punky starts kindergarten and is subsequently invited to the birthday parties of every single kid in class. At least then she will actually know the birthday boy or girl’s name.
For us, that will be a step up.
This post originally appeared on Parents.com.
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