>Book Flap
>Okay, so I’ll write about My First Blog Party tomorrow, I promise, but first, I offer up a little controversy for your perusal. Because I know you all love controversy and I can’t say I blame you.
I try to write about once a week for the Nashville Scene‘s blog, Pith in the Wind. For the last few weeks, I’ve played it safe and written brief little ramblings that wouldn’t cause too much of a stir.
Today, though, I went all Suburban Turmoil on them. I wrote a post that I would’ve (and maybe should’ve) totally written here about overdue library books, just to get a feel for whether they could handle what a mommy blogger has to offer.
Holy hell, did I piss a few guys off. Apparently, some people out there don’t know the meaning of the word ‘humor.’ I mean, c’mon. The hyperbole was evident, was it not?
You can read my post here. And while I think these guys went a little too far with their passion for upholding library standards, I really would love it if you all thought of me as a Scofflaw from now on.
Thank you and good night.
>Hey, Scofflaw!Tell them that clicking on the name of the contributer should lead to a bio of that person (including an archive of their posts and any necessary external links), NOT directly to an outside page.It was very difficult trying to find your back articles.
>Dear Scofflaw, no offence, but I thought the comments were funnier than the post. Not that the post wasn’t funny, but the comments hit an all-time humor high. Keep the suburban scandal coming! If anyone can teach the self-important asses of the world to take life a little more lightly, it’s you, Scofflaw baby.Now I’m going to look that word up.
>Duh. Scoff Law. Now I get it.Maybe if I stole more books from the library I’d have known that.
>I loved your post! I had a friend who (when we were foolish and young) used to keep going back to the library and getting new library cards, each time just changing her name slightly with a middle initial to avoid paying her late fees…not that I recommend that, but I found your post hilarious.And anonymous critics really should get a life.
>Okay, first, I just ended my post (yes, I finally posted) with “Thank you all, and goodnight.” Creepy huh….sure.And WOAH NELLY! “john” is an ass! “hope you have to pay the fines, but I won’t hold my breath.” What does this guy get off on Library Justice or something?
>Scofflaw!Ehhh. They just don’t get you yet!
>We must be twins seperated at birth because I have a letter from my local library demanding I return my books. Luckily (for me)our library has done away with fines.
>Amazin’ how jerks can pervert a perfectly great idea! In my neck o’ the woods, the Libraries evidently think they are an extension of the government (eg: screw the public in any way possible). I once had a library book in my car (on the way to being returned). Hopped in to work…came out and the car had been stolen!! Explained this to the library, even showing them the police report as evidence, fully expecting that under these highly unusual circumstances the “missing” book issue would be forgiven and forgotten. Nope!!! Had to…pay for the book, priced at full price as though brand new!! Trust me – its condition was far from brand new, from all the use it had seen!! The only retaliation I could think of at the time was to toss extremely used bills at them!!
>It’s WAY to early in the morning for me to have to get out my online dictionary! … Off to read your hyperbole … 🙂
>Seriously, I’m going to have nightmares about a Nashville based Library Lynch Mob every time I try to check out a book. I hope John is happy. I am scarred for life, and am no longer able to utilize my local library system. *sniff*
>It is amazing what will get people all riled up! The comments were hysterical!!LBC
>You know “john” does that everywhere he goes, don’t you? Oh, and, I may or may not have avoided the library for a few years because we have fees overdue. I’m just sayin’…
>Ha! Looks like you messed with the wrong crowd there! Funny!Ironic, I made mention of late library fines in my post yesterday. Glad to know I’m not the only one who thinks they’re ridiculous.
>You know humor better than most dear.
>holly molley! What is wrong with people?That is the problem with writing in a local paper/web. People are nasty!
>Crap! I want to live in Nashville and come to the party!I totally forgot to change your name…SUBURBAN TURMOIL. Going to do it NOW! Before I forget! YIKES!**Is the Bluebird Cafe still open?
>Oh lordy. You might need some ‘protection’ from the book police.
>Well, you’re a better woman than me because I never returned the shit.
>Dude, who’s the Marvin guy who’s locked his razor sharp teeth in a death grip determined to rip you to shreds within his hallowed library halls? Can anyone tell him to *shush*?Hmm….maybe your lynchers are really so pissed because they’re the collections attorneys that didn’t make bank off of your timely *returns*??? 🙂
>You are, as always, a delight to read! Very funny stuff, my dear. By the way – did you know if a person lives in an ‘unincorporated’ area they are denied access to their local library? I was told I had to pay a $2500 YEARLY – YEARLY mind you, fee just to set foot in the place. I don’t think so. It’s called ‘The Internet’ – and I have my own library, thank you; built up over the last 35 years. Fees and charges be damned! By the way – I wanted to let you know I’ve included you in my Friday Features segment. Great writing, Lucinda. Such a pleasure!
>Where did everyone’s sense of humor go? Marvin must have dropped his off at the library with his on-time returned books. Ass.I thought it was funny, and I don’t think I ever returned a book without having a late fee.
>Holy cow…do you wonder if any of those commenters are the same person over and over again?
>P L E A S E my fines probably paid for the new addition to our downtown library. Think of the positive people DAMN.
>I love how Mr. Bookman equated your returning things late and having large fees with people drawing “pee pees and wee wees” in books. And what’s the difference between a pee pee and a wee wee? I thought they were the same thing.You’re still doing better than me. I don’t even HAVE a library card and I’ve been meaning to get one for years. Almost 10 to be exact, since the day I moved to my current town of residence. Every time I plan to get one, something comes up and my plans get changed.
>I always return books late. I think I owe money still from last year.Mr. Bookman needs to get a life. Getting that upset over library books.He needs to find something else to gripe about.
>That was hysterical!I actually don’t own a library card anymore, because I am unable to return books, and have to pay for late and lost book fees. I still go to the library and admire the my contributions to the new foyer, but I don’t check books out.
>Wow, I can’t believe how many comments there were on the column! And who knew a funny column about a *library* of all places could stir up such passion!
>Holy crap! Marvin, if indeed that is his real name, needs to LIGHTEN UP! Good God, man! Perhaps you haven’t heard, but there are actual REAL ISSUES to get your knickers in a twist over. Sheesh.Scoff all the law you like, lady — this just gives you more stuff to write about!
>Mr. Bookman seems to be a bit angry. And peverted. Your post didn’t mention that you drew penises (penii?) on the Cat in the Hat, did it? Overactive imagination met with unsolved anger issues = lame comment.I laughed out loud. Why? I do it, too. They make their way back. They get their money. And I do it again.
>Well, yeah, books are sacred and everything but holy crap on a stick people! They make new ones every day. You’d think that having late fees was the equivalent of clubbing baby seals for their soft, warm hides.Maybe Nashville is simply the birthplace of an elite Dark-Ops branch of the Library Police. They’ll be coming for me next, guess I’d better pony up 😉
>”john” is some lonely man who lives with his mother and the only friend he has is his library card.
>I loved this post, but the comments killed me!!! Good on you for getting these old farts’ panties in a bunch!!!
>I just loved your idea of giving “hush money” to a librarian. Very funny.
>Jesus H. Christ, Scofflaw–who knew that your column would cause such a stir amongst the prim and proper book-returning-on-timers!What hot topic will you be cooking up next?
>The hell with the library police, they should just hire that John guy to follow the offenders around and natter self-righteously at them until they give back all their books for fear of being driven to using them to batter the man to death. And for the record – I AM a public librarian, and I was amused, as I noted in the comments over there.
>I commented over there, but compared to ours, your library enforcement agency are a bunch of pansies!!
>Lindsay,Just wanted to let you know my comment over at PITW came off a little meaner than I intended. As a librarian, I encourage all of you with fines and such to come back and use the library. I hate having to make people pay fines, because it obviously drives some people away and breeds some resentment, but they’d never get quite a few things back otherwise. Holy crap, where do I sign up for the “elite Dark-Ops branch of the Library Police?” I can finally combine my “24” obsession with librarianship…
>dear lucinda, and i mean dear, people are angry in this world, and they take any chance to deliver a potshot. at other people trying to lighten the atmosphere, no less!!my family has often joked that they have our mugshots at the public library and a silent alarm goes off when we enter the building. i have tried to repair my ways. it is difficult to overcome bad lendee habits, i have found. but NOT impossible. and this is encouraging. poor angry commenters!! get angry about something else, why doncha, like homelessness or something..
>You are my hero. I kid you not, when I read this post yesterday evening I had just come home from the library, where I paid $46 for two !@#$!# videos that were less than a month late. $1 a day they charge! Highway robbery! Way more than the price of the videos!!I was so proud of myself for not saying, “Sorry kids we can never come to the library again because we’re poor,” and walking out without paying.
>Oh the comments were priceless. I laughed until I wept.
>Some people take things WAY too seriously, and some poeple don’t realize a truly good writer doesn’t always write the whole verbatim truth to tell a good story.I was happy to see someone made the “Seinfeld- Mr. Bookman” connection. It’s just what I was thinking!
>Sometimes it’s mind-boggling how the most off-hand/light-hearted thing will set somebody off. Amazing that this topic angered more than one person.I thought the post was funny, but I don’t go to the library if I can avoid it.
>Damn it! I missed all the fun. I’m extremely late but I’d love to figure out how to leave a comment over there. That John guy sounds like the life of the party…You know we all have your back. Screw those uptight idiots.