I'm Lindsay Ferrier, a Nashville writer with a passion for family travel, exploring Tennessee, and raising kids without losing my mind in the process. This is where I share my discoveries, along with occasional deep thoughts, pop culture tangents and a sprinkling of snark. Want to get in touch? Use the CONTACT form at the top of the page.
June 23, 2015
When I heard you were launching a new fashion and home brand called Draper James, I was plum tickled. Despite your Hollywood A-list status, you’ve always seemed so down to earth, so approachable- I reckon you’re the kind of gal who could fix a running toilet while dressed in a Dior ballgown, or change a poonami diaper without needing help from more than one personal assistant.
“There is a special breed of charm and grace that’s signature to the American South,” you wrote in your welcome note on the Draper James site.
As it turned out, though, you had another American South in mind — that fairytale version of the South made popular in flowery novels written by women with three names. Your American South is populated with immaculately turned out ladies who speak in a honeyed drawl, wear their grandmother’s pearls, regularly attend tea parties, and know how to make the perfect coconut cake.
The kind of imaginary ladies who, you’re hoping, just might take a shine to an outfit like this one.
Oh, bless your heart, Reese. Bless your sweet heart.
I assume ‘Shelby’ was a 14-year-old home economics student who made this jacket and shorts set for her end-of-semester sewing project back in 1963. That’s the only way I can make sense of this hot gingham mess. I mean, seriously, Reese. $385 dollars for that? Land sakes, even the model looks pissed off.
But of course, you have more to offer us than double gingham.
Oh! A printed floral tank top! Why, this looks nothing at all like 90% of the inventory at Forever 21 right now!
I mean, why buy a tank top for $10.80 when you can get one for $150? We southern women just adore that kind of logic, Reese!
But wait! There’s more!
Can you believe it, girls? A jacket, made of… wait for it… DENIM. Did you ever? Why Reese, how in heaven’s name did you manage to create this first-of-its-kind masterpiece for under $200?
It’s no wonder you won an Oscar, is all I’m sayin.’
Of course, some of us are on a budget– That’s why I’m pleased as punch to see you designed a t-shirt any good southern girl can call her own… so long as she’s willing to part with $58.
But there’s so much more to you than fashion, right Reese?
Take this precious BIG PILLOW, for example. I predict tens of women will be snatching up your utterly unique Draper James BIG PILLOW.
The fact that I was able to find a nearly-identical BIG PILLOW (lots of them, actually) on Etsy for $30 has absolutely nothing to do with anything.
In fact, let’s not speak of it again.
I’d rather focus instead on your $14 pencil set. Let that sink in, ladies. Fourteen dollar. Pencil. Set.
Are pencils a thing now among southern women? Did I miss the memo on that?
But as you know all too well, Reese, woman cannot live on gingham, pillows, and pencils alone.
Oh, no. We also need a tube of red lipstick.
A $50 tube of red lipstick.
I mean, really. It’s just so…. so….
So Draper James.
Darling Reese. Best of luck to you in your new endeavor. I’d love to stay and chat longer–
But I’ve got a tea party to get to.
Lindsay Delilah Beauregard Ferrier