Down the Rat Hole

  1. fancythis says:

    >You forgot one thing about the pizza. After they run over it with the flatbed, they run it under a grease-dispensing machine.But your description was otherwise accurate.

  2. Jessica says:

    >Chuckee Cheese is the devil’s playground. I hope you dipped Baby in a vat of Lysol when you got her home. I was VERY thankful that the Big Rat scared the hell out of my oldest when he was younger. I did not have to find excuses for us not to go there. DS#2 unfortunatly is made of stronger stock and loved the furry germ passer. I continue to tell him that the only way we can go there is if we win the lottery. Wonder how long I can keep that charade up?

  3. Barbara says:

    >This is THE funniest post you have written, in my humble opinion, and given the posts so far, I am saying a lot!My daughters love the rat and the cardboard grease that passes for pizza. UGH!We recently moved, and I told them (in the long line of evil parenting lies) that there were no Chuckee Cheeses in FL. Since none are in our daily path, they believed me, until, one dreaded day . . . . Register horror here.

  4. Toni says:

    >OMG! I hate that place- and whenever little one is invited to a party there, we don’t go! We have gone twice,(b/c daddy thought it would be fun) and I wanted to stick a fork in my eye!

  5. Butrfly4404 says:

    >I’m so guilty of taking my kids there. Mine are old enough that I’m like, “Here’s your cup, once the tokens are gone – they’re gone – DO NOT ask for any more. When you are done, come back to the table and eat your ‘pizza.'”Then I go play, too. (Everyone has to do the sketch machine with me once, too!)Your show sounds wildly different than ours!!Probably not the healthiest place in the world. Or city. But they do like it, so maybe once a year we go.

  6. Butrfly4404 says:

    >Haha, didn’t see your comment, Toni…By the time we need to leave, a fork in the eye actually sounds quite pleasant!

  7. Miss Britt says:

    >Back in the good ol’ days, Chuck E. Cheese’s were Showbiz Pizzas. And it was wonderful. They had the ginormous ball pit that required no tokens and hours and hours of entertainment.Now, at least at our Chuga Cheez, the only ball pit is a 1×1 box fit for an infant… and everything else is Tokens Only.*sigh* Ah, the state of the world

  8. sillychick says:

    >My husband was always amazed when he’d see a Chuck E. Cheese commercial come on right before Barney. “Man, those people know what they’re doing!” he’d exclaim.I gotta tell ya though, I love that place when it comes to entertaining 5 year old boys! I can’t quite get the gist of essentially paying $36 or so for a pencil eraser, though. 🙂

  9. Karly says:

    >Well thats just crazy. I love Chuck E. Cheese pizza. I love the games too. Hmm…must be that my parents didn’t take me often enough when I was a child so I’m still drawn to the place…I dunno. But, I love it.

  10. Butrfly4404 says:

    >I forgot about Showbiz!!!! When I was really little, the show was all the characters in a robotic band, but they had real people walk around in costumes (not just Chukka). Now, we have a robotic Chuck who just introduces music videos…I do like that they have the thing where kids just stand in front of the blue screen and appear in the video, too.

  11. T. says:

    >I am so proud of myself. My curtain climbers, at age nine and ten, have yet to see the insides of Rat hole like Chucky Cheese.We will be avoiding Gamblers Anon. I’m not bragging or anything.But they still light up when the see the Golden Arches. And is it bad that they think a Big Mac is a well rounded meal???

  12. DraMa says:

    >This is hilarious!!! And thanks for the warning… I shall avoid that place like the plague!!!

  13. B.E.C.K. says:

    >LOL Aw…as the parent of a video game-loving kindergartner, I love Chuck E. Cheese’s, especially on rainy or sweltering days. I look for coupons in the Sunday paper and buy 80 tokens for $10, then keep them stashed in the kitchen cupboard; I dole them out in batches of 25 and they usually last us several months. Of course, I’ve learned not to eat the cardboard pizza (or any of the other overpriced “food”) at CEC’s, we don’t usually venture into the darkened banquet room where the creepy characters are, and we usually go during the day on a weekday because the place is totally crazy on weekends. All the kiddo does is play video games and climb around in the Habitrail (!) when the tokens are gone. When I used to have a marble jar reward system for the kiddo, one of the prizes was a much-coveted baggie of 25 CEC’s tokens. Talk about motivation for a little one. ;^)

  14. Mari says:

    >My son is almost 4, and we’ve successfully avoided the big C. Keep your fingers crossed. I don’t know how much longer we can avert his eyes every time we drive past!

  15. Renee says:

    >I got very lucky…DD is very sensitive to noise. So I just tell her that a place is very noisy and she doesn’t want anything to do with it. This worked for years. Our first visit to the Rat Hole didn’t occur until this year when her new friend invited her there…and guess what? The Rat Struck out! DD didn’t like the cardboard pizza, she didn’t like the games that don’t give as many tickets as the Family Fun center, and she absolutely HATED that the Rat’s chicken friend had the same name as her beloved doll. DD wrote a very nasty letter to the Rat telling him to change the chicken’s name. LOL! We won’t ever have to go back. BWAHAHAHAHA!

  16. >By the way, girls, it’s okay if you like the Great Pizza Vermin. I figure we need a few radical Chuck E. Cheesists to really get things going..

  17. Marie says:

    >Heehee. It’s been over 10 years since I’ve been to Chuck’s place. I hope to avoid it awhile longer, but my son is the same age as Baby and is exposed to those non-commercial PBS commercials too.. Soon you’ll be able to add The Cult of Chuckie to your list of people you’ve pissed off. Hooray for Lindsay!!

  18. Vicky says:

    >I too suffer this same fear. I WILL NOT take T.D. to this devil’s den. I was petrified of this place as a kid. Those creepy animatronic clowns and band playing old Pop songs freaked me out. I actually heard a friend of mine remark the other day that the pizza was “quite good.” Heaven help us!

  19. >When I was in highschool our marching band went to Atlanta every year at least once for an away game.We’d decend upon Chuck-E-Cheese for dinner, and I always felt bad for the employees getting beseiged by 150 high school students. It was great 🙂

  20. Pattie says:

    >Not to mention that you have to take out a second mortgage to go in the first place!

  21. karenkt says:

    >you’re my kinda mom.

  22. Angie says:

    >My mom and I used to go there just to play Skeeball and Whack-a-Mole. I’m only slightly ashamed to say that we did this until I was around 17 years old. We would always give our tickets away, though. Back then it was called Showbiz Pizza and Chuck E. Cheese was a mere wing man to Billy Bob the one-toothed bear.

  23. >When I was four, I lost my first tooth in “the balls” at Chuck E. Cheese. My mom panicked and had them searching through that toddler-germ infested mess to find my tooth. I still have flashbacks of that day…

  24. >I remember Showbiz pizza too. I’ve taken my kids a few times, but even from the youngest days, pizza is eaten first, then tokens are distributed. Once they’re gone, that’s it. No crying or we don’t ever come back. I only freaked out once when Elle ‘got lost’ in the crawly-thingy. I had to go up after her. My knees were bruised for a week.

  25. >I can’t handle that place anymore. Every time we go, my kids come down with something obscure, like the hanta virus or SARS. When my stepson asked to have his birthday party there last year, I told him that the big rat had tried to kill Santa, and it would be treacherous towards Santa, forcing him to skip over us.

  26. Anonymous says:

    >OMG, tears are streaming down my face – I feel exactly the same way. Have you ever heard the song “Chuck E. Cheese Hell” by comedian Tim Wilson? It’s about being a “bouncer” at a Chuck E. Cheese – you have to hear it! I’ve avoided the place with my 4 year old so far, but she’ begging to go and I’ll cave soon, I know it. We went once when she was about 2 2/2 – she took one look at the place (it was crazy that day) and literally climbed up the front of her Grandma!

  27. Awesome Mom says:

    >Thanks for the warning. I was actually surprised to see one in the town we now live in. I had thought that they were a part of the whole 80s scene and had gone the way of skating rinks. I was sad to find out I was wrong.

  28. CeCe says:

    >There aren’t any CEC near me, but I remember going to one when I was a kid, and it was a VERY scary experience! I mean, I loved most of it, but I still get shudders remembering how I almost “drowned” in the ball pit twice in one visit when I was 4. I got burried, and all sorts of kids were stomping and running on me, and my mother was no where to be found to save me. Some employee had to rescue me. A few minutes later, I tried it again and had to be saved again. I learned after the second time.

  29. >Burgers made by a clown,pizza made by a rat and what does a sailor know about fried chicken? Eat at those places and people better be saving up for bypass surgery instead of college for their li’l darlin’s..

  30. Sugar says:

    >Amazing. I did a post on Chuck E Cheese just yesterday. Yes, a whole post. That place has a life of it’s own, and sadly, I lost what little bit of cool I had left last night while there. (BTW, in case you’re wondering who I am, I used to be Pickalish…….)

  31. >I think it’s kinda’ cool that my kids are petrified of the man (or girl) in the rat suit. Chuck E. Cheese is the anti-christ. None of us want to admit that we go there.

  32. Anonymous says:

    >My grandmother used to take me and my cousin to Show-Biz Pizza when we were kids. Same thing. Matter of fact, Chuck E. Cheese bought out Show-Biz. The difference was the Show-Biz gave lots more tickets for each game, had better prizes, and the pizza was the best.But that was from the perspective of a 6-year-old. Now, I wouldn’t set foot in one of those places if you paid me.Heh.

  33. liz says:

    >Agreed that it is a gateway to gambling.I’m ashamed to admit, I’m bribing my son with the promise of a visit there if he can get 20 “good listener” stickers at school

  34. rennratt says:

    >We have a place called “Bullwinkles” here, which is considered an “upscale Chuck E. Cheese”.Don’t believe it.Loud, smelly and nasty – and run by a cartoon Moose.

  35. annie says:

    >When my kids were little Chuckee was brand new, so the kids being little and all, we thought it was a neat, new concept. And then we discovered they sold BEER there, too.Yep, we used to take the kids there a LOT.

  36. scribbit says:

    >Chuck E. Cheese’s is as classy as the DMV–only with bad pizza.

  37. >Oh shudder.And what the hell is PBS doing airing COMMERCIALS!!!Maybe I’ll put off tv for another year…Thank the gods for DVDs. From the library. So there won’t be any damned ADS.

  38. Monica Ricci says:

    >The only time I’ve been to Chuck E. Cheese was in 1995 when I had my 30th birthday party there. The really unfortunate part is that I’m not even kidding. I guess we thought it would be fun to celebrate turning 30 by eating greasy cardboard pizza and acting like toddlers. File that one under WTF was I thinking?? ~Monica

  39. Stephanie T. says:

    >LOL, a very timely post because I just survived my first Chuck E. birthday party (not for my child, but for one of her classmates.)I am no fan of those places, but I will tell you this: They know how to do birthday parties. The CEC party host takes care of everything so the parent can “relax” and “enjoy” themselves. I was impressed by the hosts’ amazing calm and efficiency in the face of the special kind of chaos that only 15 seven-year-olds hyped up on some kind of sugary red drink can create.

  40. >I’m so glad we are past that!!LBC

  41. Lisa says:

    >I honestly have not been in that place since my little sister’s birthday party 16 years ago. Our older 3 have gone with birthday parties, but that’s it. After watching one little boy whack my sister’s head instead of the mole that was popping out of the game (that he budged ahead of her to replay again), and just witnessing sheer chaos, we vowed we wouldn’t take our kids there. Anytime we go by the one around us, all you can see is wall to wall people in the windows, and the parking lot is packed!

  42. Darth Doc says:

    >The Mrs. takes the kiddo when it’s a 3 day weekend, preschool is out, and she is the one taking off.My kiddlet loves it. My Mrs. is neutral.The think I despise is how the desperate housewives of Williamson County feel entitled to ignore their feral beast-children, chat with their friends or cellphones and ignore the warcrimes their kids are committing against toddlers/small children.It drives me crazy everytime some future serial killer shoves my kid out of the way WITH ME STANDING RIGHT THERE while there mom is yacking it up considering it a 2 hour vacation from the kids during the day.

  43. MommasWorld says:

    >Show biz pizza? I didn’t know what it was called but we went to one when I was little. Funny when we finally went to a Chuck E Cheese I was thinking of that mechanical band I saw so many years ago when I was so little and only once!I did consent to having 2 birthday parties at Chuck E Cheese which were both for my youngest. I do not like any arcade of any kind but for the rare occasion I would allow it. Both times were enjoyable due to the parents who brought the children had to stay (entrance stamp issue) so I was not alone in watching 15+ children running rapid on a sugar high from soda, ice cream and cake. There was no ball crawl in the one we had the party. There was a mechanical Chuck E Cheese next to the stage but there was also a live Chuck E Cheese who came out to do the dances with the children and even did the macarana, hokie-pokie, conga and a few dances obviously made up by the establishment. I had hired three teens and made my two oldest promise to help out at the party. Due to the assistance of the staff and parents were not allowed to just drop off their children the hired teens and my older children freely played on the games made for difficulty. The tickets they won they freely gave to the children around them. The two parties were great but would I go there if it were not one of my children’s birthdays? No, and again No and NO WAY! It was fun for my children but I will only sacrifice my sanity for one of their birthday parties and now that we did it I never have to go back. Huge cleansing sigh of relief (Ahhhh)

  44. CPA Mom says:

    >Oh my goodness, we JUST had to go there this weekend. It was Hell on Earth. With Beer.

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