Everyone knows about Halloween, but did you know that the day after Halloween is a very special day as well?
November 1st has been designated by, um, officials, as the Feast Day of St. Mom.
On this widely-celebrated day, participating moms (who, as we all know, are total saints), feast on the candy their children have collected while trick-or-treating the night before. According to ancient ritual, as soon as the kids are safely packed off to school on November 1st, mothers proceed to gorge themselves on snack-sized candies including but not limited to Kit Kats, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Twizzlers, Milk Duds, Ring Pops, Almond Joys, Nerds, Tootsie Pops, Milky Ways, Laffy Taffy, Twix bars, Skittles, Butterfingers, Sour Patch Kids, Starbursts, Snickers, M&Ms, Hershey Bars, Mike & Ikes, Dum Dums, Pixie Sticks, Tootsie Rolls, 3 Musketeers, Smarties, and Jolly Ranchers.
Ritually excluded from the St. Mom Feast are pretzels and fruit snacks. Because healthy.
While most moms choose to celebrate this special Feast Day in seclusion, some have been known to host private Feast Day parties, gathering together to compare their children’s hauls and trade candy. Communion wine is sometimes included in the festivities.
The traditional Feast Day of St. Mom Prayer may also be recited, either alone or as a group:
Feast Day of St. Mom Prayer
O Glorious Candy
We eat thee with great fervor
and give thanks for thy sweetness.
Whether chewy or crunchy
We love thee, candy, and lift up our voices
to thank thee for entering our mouths
and providing us one freaking moment of pleasure
in a day otherwise filled
with the neverending toil of being a mom.
Join us, mothers of faith, as we celebrate this ancient ritual from east coast to west: the Feast Day of St. Mom.