>Guilty Secrets
>When Baby was born, I swore I’d be the perfect mother. I read every advice book on the market and tried all the techniques designed to make my daughter the healthiest, most well-behaved, well-adjusted child on the block.
That lasted for about a month.
Little by little, I realized with a mixture of amusement and horror that I was not going to be like so many of the other new moms I knew, who fed their babies only organic foods and allowed them to watch only Little Einstein DVDs and taught them Spanish words and kept locks on their toilet seats. I guess having two older stepdaughters knocked the obsessiveness right out of me; I didn’t have time to hover and fret over my baby because I had to get her dressed and out the door in order to pick up the girls and get them to soccer practice.
I admit, I still feel a twinge of guilt when I see my sister-in-law pull out storage containers of specially-cooked meals for her two-year-old, while mine gets a jar of meat sticks and a peanut butter sandwich. And I’ve admitted before that I might occasionally feel the tiniest bit of envy over my friends who can afford music classes and expensive preschools for their toddlers.
But then I look at my rosy-cheeked daughter running around the house in a tutu and tiara, jabbering about six different imaginary scenarios she’s got on in her head, and I realize that I must be doing something right. And so in the spirit of laidback mothering, I’m going to share with you some of my guilty secrets.
-I bathe Baby every third day. Because bathing is hard work, yo.
-I can only convince her to eat a vegetable about once a week, if I’m lucky. I put a liquid multivitamin in her milk once a day and try not to worry about it.
-I still let her drink from a bottle before naptime and before bed. I figure the milk is good for her.
-She doesn’t go to bed until about 10 every night, along with the rest of us.
-She watches TV.
-She eats cookies. And candy. And chocolate ice cream. Sometimes right before bed.
I cringed writing some of these down, imagining the criticism I’m opening myself to from other moms. But I also get a little tired of the idea that we’re supposed to be doing everything for our kids by the book. I’m trying to do the best I can, not the best I think I should be able to do.
So I encourage you to write your own guilty secrets in the comments, if you have the guts. Heh. Then head on over to Suburban Turmoil Reviews and read about the book that inspired this post.
>I take my son out for fast food once a week so I get a night off from entering the kitchen. His hair is kept short so I am able to come through it with my fingers most mornings so it’s presentable for school – otherwise I have to hold him down to spritz and comb.
>I feed my 2 yr old Son chef-boyardee.He also doesn’t go to bed until 10 pm.Sometimes he eats smarties or has a lollipop before 10 am.Although he has no idea, he likes to jam to songs that are about getting it on. He is a great dancer, if I say so myself.Great post!
>I let Nooze drink Dr. Pepper.I have let her try coffee (once) – because she asked.Nooze has seen all of the Star Wars movies. More than once. Ditto for all of the Indiana Jones movies.She’s six.Baby will be just fine. I guarantee that when she starts school, her teacher will LOVE her ability to amuse herself – and her creativity.
>I’m guilty of the chef boyar dee things myself, and other microwavable dinners, and once weekly fast food (after soccer practice) just so I won’t have to stand over the stove and cook something. Also, if we’re both really tired from work/school, I’ll skip the bath and wash her down fast with a a wet washcloth and just spray her hair down the next morning with kids detangler…oooh, that’s the worst one i think-lol. I figure I don’t have much time to spend with my daughter as it is…esp. since it’s just her and I…so why not take a shortcut here and there to make it just a little easier?
>I used to do the whole homemade baby food route. Man, what a GINORMOUS hassle. You gotta know that!I let my daughter have Cheetos and Twinkies sometimes for snacks.Awful, ain’t I? (I am shocked they don’t lynch me at the homeschoolin’ moms group. Now THAT is a collectively obsesses group of organic types!! I am a homeschooling mom but I am SO not organic):)
>I let my kids watch TV in the afternoons sometimes because it keeps them quiet enough for me to catch a cat nap. 😉
>My 2 year old watches Buzz and Woody Two (Toy Story 2) at least twice a day, sometimes back to back.He refuses to eat anything except hot dogs, chips, crackers, cheerios, banana, and strawberries. No matter what I do. So I’ve given up, I figure he’ll eat when he decides to eat.He also still takes 2 bottles a day, i also think the milk is good for him, especially since he won’t eat CRAP!But he does go to bed at 8, because I go to bed at 9 because I”m a tired, exhausted person…who still likes an hour a night to chase her man around the bed, lol.Anna
>My daughter switched to milk when we ran out of formula…Her bottle drinking days were over when we lost the only one she liked…She moved to a bed because we gave her crib away when we repainted her room…Yeah, I guess we aren’t very good about planning transisitions.
>The only meat my 2 year old will eat is chicken nuggets so that is what he gets most nights for dinner. I let my kids watch The Simpsons sometimes.My 2 year old gets fruit snacks everyday after his nap while watching Sponge Bob.
>I feed my kids ice cream for breakfast every chance I get.
>Sometimes when I put my 18 month old down to bed at night, I dress her in the clothes she will be wearing the next day. Because that way, I get to sleep 5 more minutes. I have also been known to bribe her with M&Ms.
>Oh, where to begin? My son (3) gets a huge kick out of eating breakfast for dinner so we do that a lot. We eat pancakes (from a mix, duh) every Sunday night. And I definitely don’t bathe him every day. Or even every other day.Yesterday, he watched “How The Grinch Stole Christmas” followed by “It’s The Easter Beagle Charlie Brown” while I read an article in Newsweek about North Korea’s nukes program.
>Daily bathing is so over-rated. I’m of the dry skin, dry hair types, so my kids NEVER got a daily bath. It’s not good for skin or hair. I know a woman who bathes her kids daily, sometimes twice a day in the summer. My son who is about to enter puberty is miffed that I force him to shower every other day, if not every day. So i guess that’s the downside to not bathing younger kids daily!my son learned the word “shit” from me at 15 months, how’s that for a confession. He would use it correctly, like he’d drop something and mutter “shit” under his breath.
>Thanks so much for posting this… It is so nice to see others just living the dailey grind and doing the best they can. Our family eats out to much, watches t.v. to much, and my baby knows it is time for bed and bottle because he hears the theme song to Sex and the City coming on. I have a couple of great friends, not to many because it is hard to find life long friends you truly understand me and all of our dailey disfunction, we go to church when I am not to exhausted to get all of us ready and out the door, my mother in law drives me crazy, the waitresses at the Sonic down the street should be my children’s godparents as they see us more than we see our relatives. Most of the other moms in our moms club show up at events bathed, put together and on time and I wonder how they do it??? I show up.. hadn’t had a bath since yesterday, sweating and 20 minutes late. In reading this you are probably thinking “oh my goodness” but in reality I am an overweight jolly happy mommy who loves my children and hubs more than life itself. I would give you my shirt off my back, I am a very kind and compassionate person who may not look or act or eat like other moms, but I am still a proud mommy and wife and I hope I have made a little difference in this world we live in.
>My littles rarely eat veggies (I’m too tired of the fight to pursue it very often).My 4 and 3 year olds had a bottle at bedtime (and sometimes several times during the night) until their 3rd birthdays. Luckily, my 1 year old shows absolutely no interest in bottles.My kids get baths every 2-4 days. In an effort to preserve my sanity and to keep the bathroom dry more often than not, I limit bathtimes because three little guys in the tub at the same time is a recipe for disaster!Dinosaur shaped chicken is eaten by my little guys usually 2 meals a day! Dinner is the only meal I insist that they eat what the adults are eating. Because this is not a restaurant and, as my 4 year old patiently explains to my 3 year old, there are no menus!The only reason I don’t let my kids eat ice cream or candy right before bedtime is because I don’t want their pj’s getting messy.Some mornings I break open a package of cookies and let my kids go to town for breakfast. Hey, at least it’s not dinosaur chicken (again)!
>leftover dessert for breakfast is something i have never admitted to anyone before.. but we love a good pan of half eaten brownies at 7am….ramen noodles at least twice a month for dinner….m&ms at the coffeehouse from the little vending machine just so i can have two minutes of quiet time to talk to a friend…telling my kids that they are making mommy crazy.. (it is in a joking way, but still.. i never thought i would say that. ever)..having a glass of wine at 4pm before i even start dinner… god. i could go on and on..
>My children attending a poor daycare center for a week while I worked in the city.They all love raw brocoli! Yeah! When they were little they would eat just about anything so long as it came with dip. They like fat free dressings for dip. Snow White calls brocoli with ranch dressing “trees and snow”.Chicken is a staple in our house much to my regret (I dont like it). Snow White loves chicken legs prepared by her with the ever popular shake ‘n’ bake. My son likes chicken breasts cut small and again with the shake ‘n’ bake. All three love the chicken any way I can make it.First 2 drink too much soda. Youngest will drink it but prefers cold water bottle or tap doesn’t matter to her.Britta pitcher still in use. Threw out the last filter and never replaced it.Everyone here is in bed by 10 pm with the exeption of me.Any unique/new chicken recipes would be appricated.
>My kids are in bed at 7:30-8:00 every night. They take naps religiously. I limit tv most days.Some days they only have cheezits to eat for every meal, or the chocolate almond clusters that are hidden behind the toaster oven, when I’m not looking.And bathing is WAY too much of a task to bother with unless the syrup in the baby’s hair is attracting other debris around the house and the 3 year old’s smell gets comments at the grocery store. Oh and, neither of them get excited about cake for breakfast anymore….
>I have to tell you Lindsay, my friends and I laugh our asses off every week reading your Nashville Scene article on line. I am tickled to know that you have a blog as well. I am sorry you are taking so much heat from the Green Hills Moms and the Pageant Nazis but your writing is great satire about childrearing. Hey, all satire has a little truth and some has a lot of truth and people really shouldn’t take themselves quite so seriously! All of my friends whose lives before children were perfectly planned and scheduled are realizing quickly we are no longer in charge. We are also struggling to find where we fit in now that we don’t work and our days consist of changing diapers, kiddie lunches and fitting in phone calls to friends around the Disney and NPT line-up. We are all blessed to have healthy children and know that some day we will look back and mourn the fact we didn’t do more or enjoy our children’s childhood more but right now we are all just plain tired! We are tired of being made to feel bad if the house isn’t perfectly cleaned (because what else do we have to do all day), every meal isn’t homemade from scratch and our gifts at birthday parties are something we picked up at Walgreen’s on the way there. Being a mom is the hardest job and also the most rewarding. Thank you for making light of the trials and tribulations of us mothers who are trying to do everything right for our children and laughing at the discovery process of what is right for our children and what is right for ourselves as well and how those two can co-exist peacefully. Keep up the good writing and know that you have an entire army out here who has your back who realizes the difference in taking child-rearing seriously vs. child-rearing responsibly.Love ya…mean it!
>It’ll all be alright. If that’s not the case, then 93% of mother’s have some serious worrying to do.
>~On weekends when my son gets up I put Bear or Elmo on in the living room (on Continuous Play) so that my hubby and I can sleep in. He knows to only come to me if he’s pooped. He pokes his head in once in a while to see if I’m awake, but doesn’t even bother me anymore. ~I buy lots of frozen foods and don’t feel guilty, I’m very tired when I get home from work.~I give him lollipops from the bank at Walmart so I can get diapers and wipes in peace…There’s more but I’m not going to take over your blog here…None of us are perfect. There are just people who pretend to be…
>4 yr old gets a shower every other day.11 yr old stays up till 9:30 either watching ESPN or playing PS2.4 yr old corrects me when I swear.11 yr old washes his own clothes and makes his own lunches.4 yr old drinks chocolate milk with every meal because that or pouring it over cereal is the only way I can get him to drink milk.11 yr old has one glass of pop a day.Hell I could go on and on but I really need to get back to work.
>2 year old wakes up and the first words out of his mouth are: Thomas, Jay Jay, Bob, or Elmo. He watches one of them EVERY morning while I get ready for the day and get breakfast done. He also watches one of the above shows EVERY night before bed.I occasionally feed him meals like a baby (with a spoon and he isn’t allowed to touch it) while he watches one of the above shows. Because it’s faster, easier, and less messy.Bathing? Only if he’s dirty. I have skipped tooth brushing on occasion because I’m just too tired to deal with it.Oh, the 6 month old — sits right next to him watching the shows. Maybe she gets a bath 1-2 times a week. But only if its necessary.The good news? The boy loves most veggies and goes to bed willingly. (We tell him Jay Jay (or whoever) went to bed, so we have to turn off the TV. This works at 8AM too. Yeah, I lie to my child(ren) — Bob the Builder goes to work and Thomas goes to sleep.)
>This is a good one… my 2 year old watches way too much TV. Especially on days that I am trying to get things done around the house. Sesame Street is helping her learn to count, right?She likes to drink Coke, like Mama does.She also loves candy. And cookies.I try to give her a bath every other day, but that doesn’t always happen. You are right. Baths are a lot of work.She is happy, healthy, active, and sleeps well at night. I am not changing a thing. 🙂
>My five year old still drinks milk from a sippy cup before bed. It’s the only way we can get her to sleep all night!
>Heh.I started teaching my son to do laundry when he was 8, and when he was 12 I started making him do all his own laundry. Because I am lazy.Grades 1-3 he took Lunchables to school every day.From 2-18, mac & cheese was a food group all unto its own in our house.I bought him beer after he turned 18 since he couldn’t buy it himself.He’s now 23 and survived it all juts fine 🙂
>Is there something wrong with Chef-boy-ar-dee? It wasn’t something I even thought of putting on my list until I read it here! ;)My (4 yr) daughter loves Happy Meals- for the toy, I now just buy the toy and skip the food.I feel angry when my daughter refuses to wear the cute shoes and wants to wear the dirty flip flops instead.I convinced myself my daughter wouldn’t know what was happening on Sex and the City… then she called her stick horse a “fuckin’ horse” right after the episode where Charlotte sleeps with a guy who screams “Fuckin’ whore” during sex…
>I make my 5 year old and 7 year old take daily showers that they give themselves – because it gives me a few minutes to check my email. :)My 7 year olds’ pants were too tight to button and she went to school with too small pants for weeks without me noticing. When I bought her new pants – she had gone from a size 6x (the size she had) to a 10. Nice….
>I let my son watch Toy Story three times in a row. When he was 2. Because he would sit still. Prior to age 8, he primarily ate chicken fingers, hamburgers, hot dogs and french fries. Until they could bathe themselves, I only bathed them every two or three days.I let my son watch the Jurassic Park movies…all three…when he was about 5 or 6.After I’d spent an entire weekend cleaning their room top to bottom, and reorganizing all the game/toy pieces back where they were supposed to be, they trashed it in two days. The following Sunday, I once made my children clean their room before I would feed them. They didn’t get breakfast or lunch. They cried. They napped. They finally cleaned. I made tacos for dinner. They cried that they hated tacos. Then they ate out of starvation. And then they liked. Then they wanted tacos the next night. They still don’t keep their rooms clean though.My daughter got into everything. She was magic. I had to call poison control 4 times in 6 months to find if substances she consumed would make her sick. None of them did. Daughter once scaled Mt Counter and Mt Cabinet to get to Halloween Candy (for breakfast) hidden on Cabinet Shelf Plateau. She was 4.
>You let your kid eat ice cream? That’s it, I’m calling the authorities. But I won’t leave my name because then they’ll come to find me and they’ll discover that I don’t brush my kid’s teeth every day and I consider orange popsicles to be a fruit. Eh, at least we can share a cell in bad mommy jail.
>Cookies for breakfast.This summer I’d let my kids watch a dvd in my room while I slept in. Really late.Come over to my page Lindsey…I have a fictional award for you. Someday I’ll send you a button. But not today.
>Twin almost-3 A walked around repeating ‘little shit’ for a week after overhearing it.They get bathed only once a week because Twin B has bad excema (ha, I have an excuse for not bathing) unless they are clearly THAT dirty.I don’t brush their hair. Why? They just mess it up.Sometimes, if we don’t go anywhere, they only wear diapers or pajamas ALL DAY(the pieces they don’t take off, the are into no clothes right now)We have McDonalds after every major grocery trip and usually once a week, and I get them… FRIES.One bad shopping week, they ate macaroni and peanut butter and chicken nuggets for dinner for a week straight, no veggies, but with an apple.My son likes hot tea. (non-caffeine, and it’s not bad, but isn’t it weird?)In a mis-guided attempt to get them uninterested in beer, I gave Toddler B a sip, only to have to rip it out of his death-like grip and proceed to never let him near a bottle again. (Okay this isn’t bright, but my father did it and I hated beer for the LONGEST time)BUT… I must say, I am good at reading bedtime stories!
>My children bathe twice a day. Maybe to make up for the fact that I bathed them maybe once a week their first year of life, I don’t know. But I don’t bathe them. I run the water and they get in and play, and I get on with my life, and I know that at least their butts are clean after the night diapers etc. I don’t wash my son’s hair more than twice a month. I wash my daughter’s once a week, sometimes I go longer, though i condition it often because she likes to lay down in those baths. I put her hair in little braids, and leave them in until they start to get matted at the top.My kids love vegetables, I had to tell the Girl last night that she had eaten enough red peppers and to get back to her chicken and rice.My kids used to watch an entire feature length film every morning, sometimes two, until we started homeschooling last month. They are still smart and have long attention spans so I guess I didn’t screw them up that much.I know from the way that they get really excited when I read to them or act silly that it doesn’t happen often enough.I fall asleep reading my Boy’s favorite books to him/ mid-sentence sometimes.My first baby wore cloth diapers, my second wore disposables from the day she was born. With this next one I’m toying with the idea of skipping them altogether.I’m frustrated that my daughter won’t eat the pizza I get sometimes when I feel lazy and don’t want to cook. It’s a treat for the rest of us.
>You’ve further illustrated the reason I read your columns faithfully, and also secretly wish you were my neighbor — you’re a real, live, honest-to-God woman who is not (even supposed to be, anyway) perfect. Thanks for being honest, seriously. As usual, you ROCK. 🙂
>I am so glad to see there are so many moms out there like me!I read the article this week “Don’t mess with MOMS” and was shocked that those moms said some nasty things to you. IF truth be known.. I bet they all do some things they are not very proud of.Now, for me… I give my 2 yr old a bath just about every other night. On the days she doesn’t get a bath her hair bow gets changed and I don’t even brush her hair out. I let her drink soda once a day, and she watches the Teletubbies for about 1 hour a day so I can get some rest. I have 4 other children who are honor roll students and they were raised the same way which shows that my baby will be just fine! Hooray to all you moms who do your best everyday and have happy, healthy children!
>I’m so glad to know I’m not the only one who skips baths sometimes. For the baby. BABY baths. Usually I’m pretty clean. And sometimes the baby stays up until…11:00. PM! I know!!! But I just can’t get him to sleep any sooner, and on the rare occasion he does, he has a fitful night and wakes up at the CRACK of dawn the next day.
>Lindsay. Not Lindsey. Lindsay. Fixed. 🙂
>I have to wonder why anyones child that says they want to “crush” spiders and bad guys isnt in therapy. I mean, obviously they are showing signs of being psychotic.I know what your thinking.Its running on the same thoughts of my thoughts on your blog about childrens beauty pageants.If you dont have a clue, and only see whats on the outside then maybe you shouldnt say anything at all.JokerOnMars
>JOM- what are you smoking?Hurricane watches Blues Clues enough to know the songs and hand movements. He refuses to eat any vegetables. If one dares to touch his lips he will refuse to eat for the rest of the night. Because of this and the fact that he doesn’t actually eat anything but pancakes, pop tarts and crackers, he gets a pediasure every day.I caught Girl (8) singing Fergie’s London Bridge the other day and wanted to die. Neither one of them bathes every day. Hurricane has excema and it really dries them out.When he gets up to early, I bribe him with Blues Clues to get an extra 30 minutes. He has asked people to shake their booties.
>First of all, I am glad I found your blog again… I lost the link when I shut down my other blog. Hennyway, I’m so jealous that you get so many comments! You have SO many readers!!Now, onto my comment… this post made me feel better about the things I do. Yes, my boys watch T.V. My 2 year old will not eat a vegatable. I have put my boys in the car and forgotten to buckle one of them in and drove all the way home and then was horrified to see he was unbuckled. HORRIFIED! I listen to my OWN music even if there are swear words in it while we are in the car, they are 2 and 1 and have no clue. My two year old loves pizza rolls and we share a plate. I don’t change his diaper first thing in the morning because he is just going to poop after breakfast anyway, so I just wait. BAD MAMA! Great post… it’s nice to “lighten up” on myself for once! So, if all of us are confessing our motherly sins, it makes you wonder what those moms that are strict about foods and bedtimes and stuff are thinking and if they have any confessions.
>My 20 month old not only drinks a bottle of milk right before bed, but I give him the bottle IN HIS CRIB and he FALLS ASLEEP WITH IT. I started this one night out of sheer necessity — my two older children had a stomach virus and I didn’t have time to do the whole bedtime routine with the baby. And what do you know? It worked and he loved it. I choose not to worry about his teeth.
>So are we all going to be reported to the Bad Mommy police? Hee…The Toddler will have a bath a couple of times a week. Sometimes the shower after her swimming lessons will suffice.She will have M&M’s in the morning with her peanut butter sandwich if she can catch Daddy before he goes to work.I let her eat breakfast cereal for dinner because by the time we eat her appetite has shut down for the day. If it’s good enough for breakfast it’s good enough for dinner.We have pizza once a week and she, and her 11 year old brother, will eat the leftover slices for breakfast the next day. If it’s good enough for dinner, it’s good enough for breakfast.Sure she’s in bed around 7 pm, but only because she’s up at 5:30 am. If she’d sleep in, I’d keep her up as late as possible. Sadly, it doesn’t work.
>I do ALL of those things. They will be just fine. I wish I could get my son to go to bed at 9pm.Your an awesome mom!
>I’ve just found your blog, and I really like it!! (I went to UGA, too.)My kids don’t get a bath every day and only get their hair washed once or twice a week.We don’t always eat breakfast. And when we do, it’s Pop-Tarts.I let the kids snack before dinner and/or bed.I let my kids listen to the same songs that I do (some are inappropriate.I do many of what everyone else does.
>I have you all beat. I am one of those mothers who allowed her 12 year old son to sleep with her after his father and I divorced and we moved to a new city and he was in a new school and life was hell. But you know what…he is 17 now and sleeps in his own bed and doesnt even wet it. LOL. As long as you love em you cant break em.
>My 3 yr old plays playstation sometimes for hours. My 3 yr old barely eats breakfast. Both my kids like marshmallows as a snack. My 3 yr old has seen all the Star Wars movies as well, and loves them.
>When I’m too fried to cook I let the kids eat cereal for supper, heavily topped up with sugar.And let’s not go into hygiene. I’m letting my son grow his hair long because I am too damn lazy to cut it.Good to know I’m surrounded by other bad mommies!
>My son gets bathed not too often. I’ve considered several meat sticks a lunch for my daughter. I’ll let her watch nonstop TV so I can work.My daughter likes coffee.
>Oh…I love this post.I sometimes bribe my 4-year-old with gum or fruit snacks. She calls beer Daddy juice. I rarely bathe my kids more than every other day. I never had their portraits made professionally every three months for their baby “panel” (like many moms I know…the shame…I prefer a lot of the candids we take ourselves.) And what are vegetables? 😉
>Boy do I love this post! Whenever my SIL visits (her daughter is the same age as mine), she comes with meticulously labeled tupperware containers of different sauteed vegetables, rice dishes, perfectly cut fruits. Meanwhile, Thalia’s eating her third Cheerios meal of the day.
>In the fridge today there are NO fresh veggies. One tired apple only. I think there are vegetables in the freezer…?If I’m lazy, he gets a corn dog. sometimes two.Ice cream is not a treat, it’s a God-given right after dinner.He knows the chorus to Sweet Caroline.
>I’m yet to see anything bad in these comments!Whenever my son see’s a glass of wine, he points at it and says “mummy’s”.After breakfast (which he loves) every morning he watches a video so I can clean up and get ready for work.I bribe him with cookies to keep him quiet so I can get ready for work.He quite often goes to bed without any dinner. He eats loads during the day and if he doesn’t like what I dish up, then he gets nothing else.He still drinks a sippy cup of choc milk before bed.Half the time he just chews his toothbrush and I consider that enough cleaning – he puts up a fight alot of the time I try to scrub his teeth.
>I was an expert on raising kids before I had them. Now I know I know nothing. I probably shout too much at my son who is 2. He doesn’t eat very much and vegetables and fresh fish and most meats are clearly designed to poison him so I don’t bother as much any more. (The kid won’t eat potatoes in any form except chips. What is THAT all about?) So…cheese on toast and a piece of celery (“green stuff”)has to be good, right? And then I feel super guilty so I give him a full meal but he won’t eat anything, so then I get really annoyed by the waste and try and force him. And we all know how that ends!And a couple of times I’ve given him a 50g bag of chips to stop him whining on a 45 minute boat trip. It worked. The passengers thanked me.
>Gasp! I cant beleive you do the same as most moms LOL.My 2 yo still takes a bebe at night and she still sleeps between us. She also likes to drink our coffee after it cools off.She also calls her brother a butt head. I am raising the best debutant yet!
>Oh my…..where to start! My 6 year old daughter — has liked coffee since she was 3 and she gets her own cup at Starbucks– skips breakfast most days– watches Family Guy and can quote it– knows all the members of KISS– also knows that Sex and the City music signals a “mommy show”– would eat Cheez-its for breakfast lots when she was younger (as I told her pediatrician….the box has a picture of cheese on it so it must be healthy!;))– drank from a bottle till she was 4– still drank from a bottle when she was 5 1/2 when she was at the hospital for medical procedures and treatments– still uses her paci when she’s tired or sick or has a fracture– watches lots of tv– uses the word “damn” appropriatelyI could go on and on but on the flip side, my 6 year old daughter– has an awesome personality– loves life– is one of the funniest kids I know– is very smart (her teacher tells me so! that way it isn’t just me thinking/saying it!)– can speak some Latin and Italian– is extremely compassionateAgain I could go on and on but I won’t!Have to say that I love your blog — just found it several weeks ago. I loved your post about the Moms Club. I was never a member but am a member of the Junior League (and past president) and it made me think that half of the stuff that is said between Jr Leaguers isn’t half as bad as what the Moms Club said to you! Anyway, I really enjoy reading you!Jody
>Alright,lets call Lindsay out.You toyed with the idea of organics at least once, didn’t you? I mean, doesn’t the IDEA of perfectly tupper-wared organic health snacks that our kids would probably throw at us SOUND nice?And at least once, didn’t you ever want the immaculate shiny house with the immaculate sparkly clean kid? To be the mom strolling the malls in kitten heels, holding a cappucino while pushing a luxury stroller one-handed, with little boutique bags haning off your wrist? Not once?I mean, it’s like all those commercials where all the homes are immaculate, the kids love veggies and they run around their homes in cute little jeans and polos with no stains while too-skinny brunette moms wearing practicality khakis and lands end button downs happily sweep, dust, mop, scrub hardwood floors, shiny wood tables, gorgeous high-quality linoleum floors and immaculate tile tubs and floors… **Can you tell I’m really jealous of those stupid Lands End commercial moms and their Ethan-Allen clone homes.
>Being a male with no children, I may not have any room to talk here. But I am a product of being raised by a single father who made valiant but futile attempts to get me to eat my green beans and such. He finally gave up in frustration when I was old enough to cook for myself. Whether or turned out to be a good person is occasionally debatable but I am definitely healthy. I remember my Dad taking me for one of my regular check-ups when I was about 5 and the Dr saying that I was healthy and inquired about what I was eating. Dad told him bologna and crackers. He asked what else and Dad said bologna and crackers. Doc said keep it up, I was perfectly healthy.I’ve had a hand in raising, temporarily, a few kids between my ex and one of the women I dated after. I learned that all mothers (or parents in general) are hard pressed for time. I always thought my ex was a horrendous housekeeper until I watched her and her sisters spend 4 or 5 hours cleaning the apartment one day when the kids were gone only to watch the little rug rats destroy it in less than 1 hour the next day. One female friend of mine has started college in her early 30’s with a 2 year-old. It’s so hard for her to find time to play, feed, bath her daughter, and then do her own homework. When baby goes to bed, Mom is ready to go as well. Putting Madagascar into the dvd player, which is like heroin for the little girl, to get some work done seems ok to me. Especially if it means a better life for the two of them down the road. Cutting the corners on the small things is fine if it gives you more time for the important stuff.
>God bless you, for writing this! My friends and I laugh so much about mom guilt that our sides hurt. My guilty secrets are that I take La to the toy store to “browse” on hot or rainy days. She gets to run around and check out the latest and I don’t have to buy every single toy that she might want to play with for thirty seconds. Sometimes I buy something, and I always clean up after myself, but the toy store is usually our personal park.We are light on veggies and I have periodically treated La to a few fries from McDonalds and a sip of my sprite on the way home from Little Gym.And we, too listen to inappropriate music and watch in appropriate movies. Our baby saw “Wedding Crashers” in the theater (twice) when she was six months old…And finally, I can always bribe her with something, anything, with Elmo on it. I don’t know why Elmo is like toddler crack, but oh well!
>My guilty secrets are already out ;o) Since my mom keeps my daughter during the day when I’m at work, and she has absolutely NO JUNK FOOD or junk TV whatsoever at my mom’s house and she has a no-candy or junk food for snack no-nonsense preschool teacher… we go to pageants and play barbie and eat junk food and watch cartoons and run around like wild hellions every once in awhile for a weekend. I’d let her have sugar once in awhile before 10am but has anybody seen that movie Gremlins?…don’t feed her sugar before 10am no matter how much she begs!!! (Oh, and I won’t feed her anything I won’t eat!) Oh and once a week I let my 12 yr old son drink a Sobe Adrenaline (monday mornings only!)
>My 6 month old geta a bath once a week,she doesn’t get THAT dirty and wipes make a great substitute. She has already tried cake frosting (that was at 4 months by my aunt). She is still awake with no signs of going to sleep, but she is watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force and happy abotu it so what can I really do? I’m REALLY bad about making sure she gets “real food” every day. My dumb reasoning for this? Her pediatirican has us thicken her formula with cereal, so it isn’t like she’s not getting anything but formula. The worst thing? She has a bruise on her forehead where she fell of a couch I was sitting beside her on today. Yup I’m going to bad mommy jail.
>Muffin Man gets only one bath a week unless he’s too dirty for just a vigorous swipe with a washcloth.
>Simon gets a can of Coke everyday. It’s his favorite treat in the world.He is the only one in his kindergarten class with a green faux hawk. (Love that Spiker colored stuff)He wears his Spiderman mask to Sunday school, and I don’t even care. =)
>I pick stuff of the floor that my kids have dropped and give it right back to them. This includes food.I am bribing my toddler to say trick or treat using chocolate chips.
>Awesome! You guys rock! This has been very therapeutic. Who knows how many moms you’re helping by writing down your dark mommy guilt? 🙂
>I forgot these two.Today my children were singing “Bad, bad boys come with me, come with me,” over and over from daddy’s play list.They ask aften if they can have a taste of Daddy’s beer, because often he gives it to them. (Hey, it works for europeans.)
>I forgot these two.Today my children were singing “Bad, bad boys come with me, come with me,” over and over from daddy’s play list.They ask aften if they can have a taste of Daddy’s beer, because often he gives it to them. (Hey, it works for europeans.)
>Ditto. Ditto. Ditto.My worst is the tooth brushing. I almost always forget. My son (18 mos) never drank from a bottle and refuses milk. I try to give him a lot of cheese. When I remember.He eats pretty much whatever I eat and has since he was one. He gets a lot of baths, but mainly because it’s an easy way to keep him happy and occupied while I sit down on the closed toilet to read my Vanity Fair. I do look up between paragraphs to make sure he’s still alive. Usually.
>My 2.5yr old also stays up until about 9.30pm. He passes out in the lounge with us, and we put him to bed when we retire.Total slackers.
>Baby will be fine! I do 5 of the 6 you listed….and I might have been doing all 6 if it weren’t for the fact that both my kids weaned themselves off the bottle at 14 months.
>My (almost) 22-month-old knows how to say “Coke.” We’re constantly correcting her. “It’s PEPSI honey. PEPSI.”She’s also been programed to know that drive-thru=french fries, so she throws a fit when she doesn’t get one right away.We also let her eat off the floor, as long as it hasn’t been down there too long.She’s not a big fan of vegetables either, but I justify it because she’ll eat any fruit put in front of her.
>T.D. gets a bath every 2-3 days.She eats what we eat- she’s 7 mos. old and eats enchiladas with Texas Pete on them. A lot of Texas Pete.She had her first taste of a brownie at 6 weeks and ice cream at 12 weeks.She crawls on my barely swept floor daily and ends up cleaning it for me. She is filthy and the dirty kid on the block.I let her chew the dogs toys.She listens to rap music and horribly explicit crime novels on CD.
>When dad (my husband) is off on business, I let my girls eat in front of the TV, a nice big bowl of cereal for supper, then it’s off to bed, and then I might even let them sleep with me, too.
>Thank God! I’m a normal mom, then. Although, we do get a bath every night…most of the time.Where might one get this liquid multivitamin that replaces the fruits and veggies that my daughter won’t eat?
>I will admit that my girls now are getting music lessons and going to a private school.But…….we did not gymboree; didn’t start taking music lessons until this year (my oldest is 5 1/2); eat cereal for breakfast when we feel like it; get into ruts where they’re eating those costco frozen pb&j sandwhiches.My house is often a mess and frankly, I usually don’t care.And hell, we just started really eating vegetables this year and that’s only with lots of fatty salad dressing all over them.My oldest daughter is a sugar fiend.My youngest daughter dances around in a tuto and tiara happily, too. And you’ve seen photos. My kids often have very dirty faces. I am just too type B to care very much, and can’t keep up.
>Oh, and McDonalds. A weekly after-school ritual.
>I was so obsessive with my first baby (no teenage daughters to help me out there!), but after number two… that was it. I like to joke that they both knew their ABCs and how to count by age two, but one learned from me and the other from Sesame Street… oh well.
>I don’t read to Gabe every night like I said I would. In fact, I’m lucky to do it once a week. OKAY! Once a month.He often goes to bed at the same time I do, between 9:30 and 10. Mostly 10.Since he so often chooses not to eat, when he eats junk, I mostly look the other way. Empty calories are calories, right? And a multivitamin everyday gets him a lot of what his eating habits (that i’m afraid I’m perpetuating) won’t. Right?I cringed too, but now I feel strangely light.
>Oh, and my son (2) can tell the difference between all four Harry Potter movies. Yes, even the ones with the dementors and when Voldemort returns.He asks for Harry Pottah every day. i introduced it because I love the stories, but also because he’ll sit for the whole 2 1/2 hour movie. I only let him watch one every other day, though. But he often goes to sleep at night to HP movies.
>For about two seconds during dinner, I felt bad that all my son ate tonight were hush puppies (trans: deep fried blobs of corn meal batter) until I remembered that I needed to come back to your blog and see the latest comments. They’re hilarious.
>I let Jack have suckers. He’s only 17 months. (To be honest I only did this since the bank lady gave him one first {I almost said “a stranger” then I realized how much worse letting my child eat candy from a stranger was})I wish he didn’t go to bed until ten. Maybe he’d sleep later in the morning that way.
>My hubs and I became parents to our 3 1/2 year old nephew after nine months of marriage. So similarly to you we already had a child when I gave birth to our first. I have to admit, I think I was WAY more relaxed about the “first” baby because we already had one. When I listen and watch first time mothers fret and worry over sniffles or junior’s lack of appetite I have to keep myself from laughing out loud.My guys get candy, they wear outfits comprised of polo shirts, baseball pants and flipflops out in public and we don’t always water down their juice! {gasp}Of course my sister-in-law didn’t let her first have sugar until after her second birthday. I’m sure I was voted mother of the year in my husband’s family.What a gift your step-daughters have provided by allowing you to approach new motherhood as a relaxed human (notice I did not say rested) rather than an annoying schedule-crazed, hypochondriac, organic vegan.
>My daughter begins her day by asking if she can watch Dora, “the one with the little sheepie.” She loves fruit and raisin bran and cheese but not vegetables and has eaten meat twice, both times in the form of a “nugget,” and has spit it out on Every. Single. Other. Occasion. Except when I grind taco meat into her refried beans or sausage into her spaghetti sauce, and slip it to her on the sly.I am known to give her a little candy on occasion, and she taught herself to run and get a spoon if she sees either of us with a cup of coffe in our hands. If I am drinking a soda she gets sips if she asks nicely. I usually forget to brush her teeth but as a result, she considers it a fun activity that she gets to do as a rare treat! I do give her organic milk but it’s because I think it tastes better. She often has a sippy cup of warm milk with a little bit of Ovaltine in it, up to four times a day (just on demand, at this point, but it made weaning totally painless). I figure, it’s good for her bones, and it has protein in it. Half a tablespoon of Ovaltine never killed anybody.She gets a bath every other day or so, and only because she loves it so much. She is happy and healthy and tall and lovely, and I don’t sweat the small stuff. I did used to be a Tupperware-packing Mommybot but lightened up when things got very stressful about a year ago. I think we are all happier now.
>Quick… call CPS on me:-Nut watched Blazing Saddles with dad when he was three days old. other favorite now include Serenity, Rent, baby einstien, and HP4-he eats oraganic stuff but that’s because I am a dirty hippie.-he baths every day but that’s just because we play in the tub together.-he ALWAYS goes to bedwith a bottle.- he RARELY wears shoes (Again, the hippie stikes)-he chews on my car keys- he sleeps in the bed with us… sometimes even on his side…. which leads to…..-when he fusses in the middle of the night I roll him onto his stomach on my stomach and we sleep.- there is a window right next to our bed opened a crack.yup. call CPS because I am a HORRIBLE mother.PS for all these reasons, my ex friend called CPS on me. since I work for CPS, everyone laughed at the report.
>I once let my baby eat peas off my friends floor that her baby had thrown there. So first of all they were reject peas, ON THE FLOOR, but hey, she was eating a vegetable right!!!Please don’t tell anyone about this ok?
>I did not breastfeed. Ya know why? I didn’t want to. Nothing about it appealed to me. I tried it for about 5 minutes with the second kid and said “Neh. Don’t like this.”Sue me.My kids are just as healthy and bonded to me as the Attachment Parenting, Organic feeding, non-tv watching, cloth diapering lot think their kids are to them.
>My youngest had a “ba” filled with water at bedtime until she was 4. My dentist assumed I weaned her early – since it didn’t hurt her teeth or mouth, I let her have her bottles.If we’re not going anywhere on a weekend, I let both girls stay in their pj’s or just their underwear all day.Both girls take showers now, and my youngest only gets “tub time” on weekends, because it just takes too long during the week. Grilled cheese, tacos, noodles, chicken nuggets, fish sticks, falafel or PB&J are usually what we have for dinner. The girls will eat whatever is served for hot lunch at school, but get picky for me. I buy small cans of the veggies they eat, since they each only like one, and I WILL make them each a different veg for dinner – I don’t care what it is, so long as they get SOME veg in them. I only buy chocolate milk.We own all 4 Harry Potter movies, and I took my youngest when she was 3 to see Prisoner of Azkaban in the theater. She wasn’t scared at all, but I got lots of dirty looks. Both girls know all the lyrics to Shakira’s “Hips Don’t Lie” and Gwen Stefani’s “Hollaback Girl”. They know to not sing “Hollaback Girl” in public. But they can both spell “bananas” perfectly. They both pretend to be runway models because I let them watch the Victoria’s Secret TV special with me. Yes, they do wear my bras and strike poses while doing it. At ages 3 & 5, my brother taught them to pour beer out of a keg. At his law school graduation party at my parents’ house, they poured beer for his friends for $1 each. They each earned $20 before my mom put a stop to it. Dear lord, I’m awful! LOLMeg
>Okay, first off, I loved Meg’s comment. Right before mine. Cracked me up that the kids earned a $1 a glass of beer! 🙂 too funny.And this goes ditto for me, ” was an expert on raising kids before I had them. Now I know I know nothing.” I feel EXACTLY the same way.And if it wasn’t for my husband my kids would never get veggies because the only veggies I eat are salad and cucumbers if somebody else cuts them up for me! 🙂 And if weren’t for my hubby we would eat cereal or ice cream for dinner A LOT. OY.And since Trent has learned how to read I hardly ever read to Connor now. I just have Trent do it. I am a bad mommy!loved this post. Good job!
>We over-use TV, fast food, and bribes of toys / crap from Wal-Mart. Sigh. I hate it, but it’s true. Did I mention I hate it? GAH.
>I am a homeschooling mother of five children. I don’t fit the stereotype though. Some days we skip school and have movie marathons instead. Hey – you can learn a lot from Back to the Future 1, 2, and 3!!!Organic?? Huh? I don’t understand. My family could not live without sugar… lots of it. *hang on… I need to go get some cookies*Personally, I think those overly obsessive moms whose kids take baths every day, brush their teeth after every meal, eat out of all the food groups each day, and attend all their ballet and music lessons and every-sport-imaginable are going to be the kids who end up needing therapy because their parents expected nothing but perfection. My kids are REAL and HEALTHY and LOVE me, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. 🙂
>My Boy has ham and bologna and cheese sandwiches for breakfast, goes to bed with a oatmeal cookie sandwich and diluted koolaid. He is addicted to cole slaw and corn dogs. He will eat fruit and some veggies but it is mostly by begging and pleading. He aslo is aaddicted to ham that once he ate a half pound and I didn’t blink.
>This post and all the comments may single-handedly save me from years of therapy when I get older. I don’t have kids yet, but I did always assume kids had to be bathed daily, brush their teeth twice a day, eat proper meals, etc. I knew a few moms who let their kids stay up late or be wild, but I really had no idea there were so many guilty secrets out there. Now when I’m a mom one day and I start doing the things I swear I would never do, I’ll know I’m one among many. Thanks.
>I alwys say we raised our kids by ear” We were still kids ourselves and had no clue what we were doing. the result is three talented, intelligent, beautiful self-syfficient daughters. Throw away the books!
>My kids drink Diet Coke. A lot.My six-year-old son received Nickelback’s latest CD for his birthday. From me. He loves rock music.We eat out too much.My kids eat meat, Kid Cuisine, Campbell’s Soup, and Chef-Boyardee. I put sugar on their Rice Crispies, and they like Cherry Kool-Aid. They also get a lot of meals from scratch, and I’m a pretty decent cook. But if I put Hamburger Helper on the table, I receive a litany of praise for the best meal ever.I used disposable diapers and although I breastfed, I also used formula, and my kids had no trouble going back and forth between the breast and the bottle.
>Well, you’ve names all of mine! But I was told that it’s bad for babies/toddlers to have baths every day! Really, really!TV? Yeah … don’t get me started. It didn’t kill us!
>Daily bathing is for suckers. When I was home with Bella, she absolutely followed OUR schedule, which meant, yeah, she slept when I slept, not the other way around–although she did nap a lot more than me!I’ve been lucky that she’s a vegetable-lover, like my sister always was, but I still have to get them in front of her, which is, of course…effort.My worst confession is that my daughter did not learn anything real about the importance of a ROUTINE until she started preschool. And it made me sad when I realized how VERY much she benefitted from it–she literally blossomed from just having a regular routine every day instead of my all-akimbo schedule.
>I let my 13 and 10 year olds watch scary movies on TV. They stay up till 4 or 5 in the mornings on the weekends! My 13 YO is ADDICTED to salsa. She eats it non stop!My 10 YO plays Nintendo an average of 5 hours a day. She LOVESManga and we just tell her to overlook the inappropriate things- yikes!My twins (4) get a bath every other day and a spit bath in between. When they start itching their butts I know it’s time for a good soak. I leave a lamp on in their rooms on the weekend so they can be in bed but still play so I can go to bed early.If I need time alone I turn on Nick Jr.com- they will be occupied for HOURS! I’ve told them I was going to leave them on the side of the road before when being bad in the car.With 4 daughters, the list just goes on and on and on…
>My seven year old can quote eric cartman from south park and does so a few times a week. My favorite No Kitty thats my pot pie, no kitty! I would never share this with anyone but you all rofl
>My boys (5 and 2) have blue toenails more often than not.We have three computers for two adults and two small children. They are trying to convince me that we need four. I don’t think they see the sun enough.2yo boy thinks his first name is “Dammit”5yo boy is the one who taught him that.They are up until 10 on a regular basis.5yo has seen the entire Lord of the Rings Series. (in our living room, with the lights on, and the FF button under my thumb)2yo subsists on yogurt and the occasional broccolli frenzy. Thank gawd he’s still nursing.Right before gymnastics, I have to wash their feet with babywipes because they’re invariably filthy.I’m going to go hide my head now.
>Holy cow if I had to give the boys baths everyday I’d have NO hair! I so don’t look forward to bath time!Jack (4) and my DH sing “O-oh Black Betty” ALL THE TIME. Jack and Bryce(almost 2) have what seems like fart contests already. Oh yay!I give both dessert even if they don’t finish supper.I let Jack steer the truck into the garage on occasion while he’s on my lap.Definitely suckers and/or gum on some mornings. (Bryce too was introduced to suckers early and I totally blame the bank tellers! They even unwrap it and put it in his mouth -NOT.)
>My daughter lives on Chicken nuggets and cold pasta.We only bathe her when time permits, we aim for every 2-3 days. We have been known to go 5! EWWW????You are the only Mom your child will ever have, just be the best you know how to be and someday they will appreciate it.
>My youngest sleeps outside on the back patio in a tent. Of his own volition. He chooses to “camp” outside as soon as the weather turns cool down here in South Texas. So much for growing up listening to all our threats of making him sleep outside if his room wasn’t cleaned up. He likes it!He eats breakfast and lunch at school and I’ll provide a hot dinner weekdays (sometimes it is just bacon/eggs/pancakes.) Weekends we do big breakfasts. They are on their own for lunch and we usually eat out for weekend dinners. I read my older boy probably less than ten books when he was a toddler because I was too darn tired when I got home from work and now he’s a freshman honor roll student. I finally got over that not reading to him guilt. Both boys are bright, funny, happy, caring and loving! So, I must’ve done something right.
>You feed yours?
>I don’t bathe my six year old nearly as much as I should. Often before school we run into the bathroom to wash his face and hands. He watches tv/plays on the computer a lot on Saturday mornings (or when he has a day off of school) while I sleep in.I think all and all, he is going to turn out to be a good kid. I love him, and support him even if he is dirty!:-)
>I let our 2 year old watch too much Max and Ruby. Our 3 year old hardly eats anything – I can’t make her, but I do let her make her own sandwich of bologna, cheese and…peanut butter. The 4 year old bullies me around and I still cave into it.The 7 year old loves to do nothing more than come home from school, lay on her bed with a big bowl of Cool Ranch Doritos and watch The Suite Life or Drake and Josh. At least I do make her do her homework first.I make the 10 year old her own dinner…a LOT. She is so picky.I (we!) let our 9 year old eat sprinkles before bed.
>Oh Gosh! I totally forgot about “Forage for your Food Fridays”On Friday nights, if you can reach it, you can eat it. This applies to 4 year olds as well. I LOVE Friday nights. Sometimes we extend it to “Scrounge for your Supper Saturdays” as well! Every family should incorporate this! LOL
>New to commenting here, but not reading your blog. just couldn’t resist this post.- When my son uses an occasional swear word (not the f-bomb but milder ones like pain in the a** and so on) I don’t throw a fit. Especially if he has the right context. Like “Boy mom, that driver that cut you off was a real a**” Context is important.- I work from the house and deliberately am busy every night around 9pm so my husband has to deal with bedtime (which has to be sort of enforced now that my son is in 1st grade.) I give him a kiss and go back to work.- Kids meals are our friends.
>My daughter eats hot dogs for at least one meal a week. I dont want to start potty training my 2 1/2 year old because then she wont be a baby anymore! NOGGIN is my favorite channel on tv. Great babysitter so I can take a shower before work and I knwo that she will sit still, entertained for at least 10 minutes! Its heaven really!
>I entertain 6 year old Monster and 3 ferocious friends every afternoon and add chocolate to just about everything they eat. Still trying to figure out a way to add it to stir fry.Taught Monster to read when he was 2 and now he reads himself to sleep every night.Told Monster when he was little that only priveledged rich people were allowed to eat fresh fruits and vegetables. He now demands them at every meal :).Bad mother I know……
>my boys think Corn Flakes is a vegie. the tv is always on. they listen to rock, hard rock and rap. if its good to me they can listen to it. and do most of what was already posted! this is a great post!!
>i do almost all of the things mentioned here…I’m not supposed to?blessings,karla
>ohmygoodness, dear, is that ALL?!? baby will be just fine — actually baby will be alot more fine than if you did all that crazy stuff you’re “supposed” to do 😉
>Your list is short…I’m a wee bit jealous ;)They watch a minimum of a movie a day. (not always but enough that I feel guilty)They don’t get bathed often enough at all.I broke down and bought little debbies.I yell.I really yell.I feel inadequate…don’t tell me they can’t “feel” that…I am not always nice to my husband and have been known to be NOT NICE in front of my kids…Those are my guilties…
>As my first isn’t going to be born until January, I don’t have an experience of my own to relate, so I’ll use my sister as an example.Recently her 10yo, Kitty, comes in after an argument with her friends and asks my sis if “Dude” is a bad word. My sis, the queen of bad words, tries not to laugh as she tells her no, it’s not a bad word.So Kitty replies, “but fucker is, right?”Sis was so proud her daughter could tell the difference.