I’m Number One!!!
Susie Sunshine caused quite a stir in Blogland last week when she claimed the number one spot on the Google search for “drunken housewife.”
Well, I was a bit miffed. Slightly panicked. I had always thought of myself as the Number One Drunken Housewife. I was even planning on having a t-shirt made that said so. But no. Apparently, several states away, Susie Sunshine was drinking me under the table. Suddenly, I understood the inspiration behind her turkey nuts.
For a few days I wandered around my manor bereft, swigging Chardonnay straight from the bottle and following each sip with a chaser of Binaca spray. Until one fateful night, I sat down at my computer only to find that I, too, was Queen of a Google search, a search that would make even the drunken-est housewife shake in her boots.
Wheelchair, diaper, grunting, poop.
Yes, out of more than 17,000 contenders, no one is more popular than I when it comes to wheelchair, diaper, grunting, poop.
I’ll admit it comes as something of a surprise. While I have nothing against wheelchairs and in fact have longed for one on occasion after dinner, I don’t believe I’ve ever specifically referenced a wheelchair on my blog until now.
Diaper, grunting and poop, on the other hand, now that makes more sense.
No matter. I am simply grateful for the honor bestowed upon me. I shall do my best to be a credit to the title of Number One wheelchair, diaper, grunting, poop, providing Google searchers with just the blend of humor, awkwardness and wheelchair data they were seeking.
Thank you. Thank you very, very much.
>Well, let me be the first to congratulate you on your fine achievement. It’s not easy leading the Internet in wheelchair, diaper, grunting and poop. But, through your hard work and dedication, you succeeded, while so many others failed.Now, be sure to sit back and bask in all your much deserved glory. And don’t forget to sip some wine while you’re at it.
>You don’t see the connection? Clearly, you’re not grunting hard enough. The male members of my family have often given me cause to fear that they will wind up in wheelchairs, what with the spinal strain and all…Congratulations – I’m off to reverse engineer some of our lovely googlers and see if there’s a title we can claim too!!
>Don’t worry, Lucinda. You’ll always be the number one drunken housewife to me. (giggle)
>congrats, do you get a trophy with the engraved on it?
>We all aspire to greatness, only a few achieve it. Congratulations. Really. You deserve it.
>Your mother would be so proud.I aspire to achieve Wheelchair, diaper, grunting, but add a poop to that? Well, that’s almost to much to hope for.
>The only way to become the best drunken housewife is to get right back on the bottle and try again.
>Lucinda – congratulations..No one deserves it more…Minerva
>This truly is the season for miracles, isn’t it?Congratulations!
>Now THAT makes for an interesting t-shirt.Congrats, Lucinda. 🙂
>Ahahahahahaah!I love stats from Google searches!
>Now THAT is an impressive googleatory phrase!Suddenly being the #1 drunken housewife seems so………..pedestrian.
>Hey, Lucinda! Thanks for commenting on my blog. Love this post. I rarely check stats, but most of my Google-search hits are for “poopy diaper.” I had no idea that they’re are people with poopy-diaper fetishes. Man, they’d love my life.
>Wow. Congrats… I just hope you can live up to the pressures…(note: how did you discover this?)
>Kellie- http://www.statcounter.com. I warn you- It’s highly addictive.Not that I ever check my stats…