>In Which Our Heroine Loses Her Shit (Again)
>A single tear rolled down Lucinda’s alabaster cheek as she sank despondently into the down velvet pillows of her window seat and morosely stared at the formal gardens outside.
“Oh Muse, Muse!” she muttered weakly. “Why have you forsaken me?”
Crumpled bits of paper littered the Aubusson rug at her tiny feet. Lucinda rested her ringleted head against her arm and closed her eyes, dropping the quill she held in one slender hand and heaving a delicate sigh.
“I’ve a wee tot with a case of the crud, a husband working far from home at the week’s end, two stepdaughters teetering precariously on the very brink of adulthood. Surely the words should flow from my pen like the waters of the Avon,” she breathed to herself.
Suddenly, she grabbed her rumpled silk skirts, knelt and fetched her quill and writing pad from the floor.
What the fuck is wrong with my baby? she wrote. Nay, that wouldn’t do. She crossed out the offending words and tried again.
Here’s a hoo ha story for you. She paused. Hadn’t she already penned that ditty? Once more she put her reed to the parchment.
Nor’easter. That’s a funny word.
And again.
Did you hear the one about Cheney and the shotgun?
And again.
Why did my stepdaughter get so angry when I said her chocolate pound cake gave new meaning to the term ‘pinched a loaf?’ Teenagers!
Damnation! Stifling a sob, Lucinda broke her quill in half and bit her delicate knuckle.
She had nothing. Nothing whatsoever.
“Whatever will I dooooooo!” she moaned, running from the room.
>This is great!!! I too have expressed amusement over the word “Nor’easter.” In fact, I’ve started a campaign for the “Midwe’tner.” And you know, the phrase “pinching a loaf” still has the power to crack me up. In conclusion, I’d say your muse is alive and well. 🙂
>Rik’s wife says:”[Lucinda] is just funny. Everything she says is hilarious!”And now you know.
>”What the fuck is wrong with my baby?” could really be the start to so many masterpieces. This tells you what MY life is like, huh?
>drink some peppermint tea. trust me. 🙂
>I don’t know, hon, but if you figure it out, please let me know. I just realized that my last two posts are about Mick Jaggar and Yoko freakin Ono, for crying out loud. And before that was all of the bastshit crazy stuff, so, basically, I got nothin. Not even a good Nor’easter, and I’m in Ohio for goodnes sake.
>I would’ve liked to see you finish the Dick Cheney one.
>I’m thinking a limerick contest where you have to end a line with “nor’easter.”(Dibs on “for Easter.”)
>Damn those muses! They spit on us then spin on their dainty silver slippers and run out the door, diaphanous gowns flapping in their wake.Bitches. (I’m stuck on a Cheney post, as well. So much to say! And yet, I can’t…make it…happen.)
>What will you do?Why, tell us what the fuck is wrong with your baby, of course.
>And I thought I was the only one to get stood up by the muse lately! Have even gone so far as to berate myself with: “But Lucinda always seems to write something worth reading!” It’s comforting to hear that you suffer blog block once in a while too! But now I’m jealous of your alibaster skin and silky ringlets… PS: hope the baby’s crud clears up soon. and that it’s not contageous… Then you’d really have something to blog about! 😉
>Et tu, Lucinda??At least your posts about your writers block are good – I always fall back on quizes and pictures of hunky men when the muse up and leaves me hanging.
>Seriously–I write about writers block and all I get out is: crap, I have nothing to write. You write about writer’s block and it’s BRILLIANT I tell you. So–have you figured out what your little girlie has? Cause Bean seems to have a case of the crud as well. And I’m jealous it’s snowing there btw. I live all the way up here, and the snow missed us entirely. Harumpf.
>So dramatic and brill dah-ling. Superb!
>Ooh. Raehan used a bad word. You’ve been a bad influence on her.
>Oh fair Lucinda! Everything will be alright. You could probably write about your latest bowel movement and we would all laugh with glee! It’s ok fair maiden of the pen! 😉
>You have made Jane Austin proud, Lucinda. I wonder if she ever said “what the fuck?”
>Those are all great first lines… I can’t wait to read the rest!! I especially like the one about the pinched a loaf pound cake… I’m still laughing!!!LadyBug
>Take a few days away and forget about the blog. Happens to the best of us.
>No one can tell hoo ha stories like Lucinda…spellbinding!
>Someone suggested peppermint tea… skip it and head for the tequila. 🙂
>It’s not you… it’s me.Does that help?
>Lucinda, you are so brilliant, you can write about not having anything to write and we flock to you and you make us laugh!Alabaster skin and ringlets? Nice!
>”What the fuck is wrong with my baby?” Seems like a good beginning for a country song. ;^)
>I hate writers block, but you’ve managed to make an awesome short story out of it. If I have writers block I blab on and on about nothing what so ever, haha.