>Kidz Bop. Why?
>
Because listening to a chorus of pre-pubescent crooners “sing” hits like Let’s Get It Started, Feel Good, Inc., and even Modest Mouse’s Float On is the cruelest form of aural torture I can imagine.
I’ve thought long and hard about Kidz Bop and have decided the success of their albums must be due to subliminal messages implanted in the songs. I swear I heard the words, “Satan wants you to buy this record” while I was listening to the Kidz Bop version of Since U Been Gone.
Really, the only good thing about Kidz Bop is the reviews the albums are getting from the poor suckers who buy the CDs. Here’s a sampling of some of my favorites (and yes, these are actual comments- I can’t make this shit up):
I bought the Kidz Bop Gold cd for my son from my heart and next thing I know I hear him singing Hooked On A Feeling, and that is not right. I said do you realize what you are singing? Then he sang How Sweet It Is, thats when all hell broke loose.
I wanted to give my son an Easter present to go into his Easter basket. So I got him Kidz Bop 9, and wow what a horrific mistake that was. The second he listened to it, he started singing that stupid ignorant Green Day song, “Beverly Hills.” Thats alot of gall to put on a kids cd.
I think the record producer must have it in for me or something. After listening to this album my child went around the house singing Crazy For This Girl. I said, Sara, what did you just say??? Then my little one Bobby, started singing Turn Off The Light. I said oh yeah, and what are you gonna do when you do turn them off. And he said mommy, I’m not sure, but ill think of something. Thats when I took the cd and stomped on it. This is why we have crime and hate in the world.
**Be sure to tune in to our next installment of Why?, when we question the existence of the Tummy Tube, purportedly designed for women who want to wear their maternity clothes sooner. What the hell kind of woman wants to wear her maternity clothes sooner?
>I am officially terrified of that little boy. Is there an exorcist in the house?
>OMG!! Totally agree–Do you know what’s worse (I know, I know, “how?” but imagine for a second)Buy one of those Disney ones, it’s really creepy to hear Mickey Mouse and Goofy singing MC Hammer’s “Can’t Touch This”I cry a little on the inside after I scream.
>Those albums are EVIL. I was at my wife’s school Halloween Party, er, Fall Festival and they were playing Kidz Bop Halloween which includes “Time Warp” from Rocky Horror Picture Show. I kept waiting for the kids to do pelvic thrusts. Read more about my nightmare here.
>We own those cds too. Maybe I’ve heard the subliminal messages and have already been converted because I actually enjoy them. I never mind when Lillianna pops it in the cd player in the car.Perhaps it doesn’t bother me because my sister got Lillianna addicted to her fave childhood songs a couple of years ago. She grew up in the 80’s and 90’s.There’s nothing like an innocent young child singing,”I like big butts and I can not lie……” or “Funky cold medina.” I was stunned…absolutely stunned but by the time I knew what had happened,Lillianna knew all the words.I can’t wait til my sister has a child because I’m gonna mess that kid up bad in retaliation.
>Yeah, that music is just wrong. A chorus of children singing smutty songs does not make it any less bad for them to listen to.
>”Beverly Hills” is a WEEZER song.Just when I thought Barney couldn’t be topped, here comes the CD from Satan. Thank God I only have a cat (and he loves Springsteen.)
>I think “Beverly Hills” is by Weezer.But still Kidz Bop is my Room 101.
>The only thing I have good to say about this phenomenon is that my 3-year-old ran around belting out “Let’s Get It Started” for months on end instead of the BEP’s actual lyrics, “Let’s Get Retarded,” which would have mortififed me when she did it in Sunday School, which she undoubtedly would have.
>Yeah. Kidz Bop = evil.That said, I want to wear my maternity clothes NOW and I’m not pregnant. Why? They’re cuter than the crap that I own. 😉
>Oh, and I have to tell you, apropos of nothing, but I’ve decided at this point in my life to never let a compliment go unpassed:My husband, Alex, has a hard time keeping up with the blogger personalities of the people I read. He can barely remember the blog names. So the other night, I was dying laughing at something you wrote, and he said, “Who are you reading?” I said, “Lindsey–um, Lucinda…uh, Suburban Turmoil.” That last got a vague spark of recognition, but I could tell he still wasn’t quite putting it together…I said, “the gal who also writes for the Nashville paper, and did that piece on MySpace that you thought was so funny, and who you also happen to think is hot, but you think I don’t know that.”He said, “OH, yeah. She’s really pretty. And she won an Emmy!”OK. *I* didn’t even know THAT. Is that right? Wow.
>Scary scary scary.
>True torture is Boo Boo Choo Choo.200 times a day.
>I have so totally tried to download some of the music b/c there is some rap and hip hop I like that the husband doesn’t want the kids to know the words too. HAHA. Green Day. They blow regular! I can’t imagine Kidz Bop doing it!XO!
>Kidz Bop.Tummy Tube.It’s all so wrong. I told my friend that now I know she secretly hates me because she gave my daughter Kidz Bop 9 for her birthday.
>No shit on the maternity clothes. Duh!I hate those Kidz Bop CD’s, and never could figure out how they determine what songs to put on it. I was going to say Beverly Hills is from Weezer, but someone beat me to it.
>I don’t know why it bothered me so much but I have to say that Green Day doesn’t sing Beverly Hills, Weezer does. 🙂 That’s really all I had to contribute today, I can’t stand the commercials for that damn CD!
>Subliminal messages, or something on there that only kids can hear. I’ve never met an adult who likes KidzBop, but kids love it. Just think, anytime you we give a 7-to-10-year-old birthday money or allowance, we’re funding their habit.
>Every time those goshforsaken commercials come on, and I see those girls singig that Ashlee Simpson song … LOLOLOVE LOLOLO… yeah. No. Absolutely not. That is why I hide my MP3 player from my kid.
>I have to listen to those damn things all day at work, ’cause they are the “clean” version of the radio songs that the kids like. Whoever invented them has a special spot in hell.
>That was really funny, L. You kill me! And for the record, we have the 1st Kidz Bop and give it a big thumbs down 🙂
>Oh my gosh, I looked up the CD on a popular online-only retailer (don’t want to give away any free advertising) and read the worst reviews I’ve ever seen. Impressive!
>i’ve never even heard of this cd. i always stuck to the disney ones when my kids were little.
>That little boy cracks me up. We have never done the kidz bop thing. My kiddo is forced to listen to what I listen to. I would prefer almost anything to bop. Well, except maybe Lawrence Welk. 🙂
>My boys have begged for Kidz Bop CDs. I happen to like those songs they sing – they are all the songs they hear on Radio Disney. I have refused to buy them because WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WANTS TO LISTEN TO ALL THOSE KIDS FOR HOURS ON END???Wait…tomorrow is my son’s bday, and I did buy him the new Crazy Frog CD. That may be in the same category…
>LOL–where the HELL did you find that crazy boy video. Hilarious! I agree about those Kids Bop CDS. I have refused to buy them entirely. I just don’t think I could handle my son walking around singing “My Humps” or “Loosen Up My Buttons, Babe” It would be too traumatic…
>So glad to know i’m not the only one suffering from Kidz Bopitis. It hurts so bad, make it stop.
>I am guilty of buying a Kidz Bop CD; We were back in the states, and after a month of ingurgitating USA TV and the commercials, my eight year old was begging me for one of these CDs. They have them in french, too, and they’re just as bad. Maybe we could do an exchange
>That’s funny. Those commercials drive me nuts. I remember one where the kids were singing “What a Girl Wants”. Uh, those little girls aren’t old enough to know what a girl wants.
>I’m thankful to say that my kids are beyond Kidz Bop — and thriving on the really hard core stuff! Had I been subjected to Kidz Bop though, I’m quite positive I would have been as irate about it as you are! This kinda stuff just drives me insane! I totally agree with you!And I checked out that tummy tube link… gotta agree there too! I’m mystified…Okay… I think I’m supposed to tell you I came here from Mysterious Lady’s C&C Monday … I’m mystified by it too … but I’m trying to deal with it!
>NPR did a story on this a few weeks ago. It’s appalling and some of these songs are not for kids. Since You’ve Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson? Why not some Black Sabbath? Do parents listen to this crap before they let their kids? Scary stuff.
>Oh and the tummy tube. It’s all part of the epidemic that a baby is a new accessory. Last year Vogue did a nice centerfold on red and patent leather being the new “in” colors and there was a baby in every shot. A clean, wholesome baby being lugged around by the model like an oversized purse.
>Kidz Bop is clearly pure evil. But I’ve got to say I can sorta understand the appeal of the tummy tube. With both of my pregnancies I had an overlong phase of being too big in just one spot, so that none of my regular clothes were even the least bit, but my maternity clothes wouldn’t stay on without bunching. And then there’s the time after the baby where the same is true. The tube would have come in handy as an alternative to wearing the same pair of overalls every stinking day, just because it’s the only pair of pants that will stay on my body.HOWEVER, I can’t imagine wanting it for the reason they seem to think women would want it. The ad copy there was just plain dumb.
>Uh…that screaming kid in the yellow shirt? He’s going to have a stroke soon. Count on it.
>Ugh…I see those Kidz Bop commericials and think, WHAT? Every single time! Even my 21 y/o brother who’s totally dense when it comes to kid stuff said “Seriously, kids sing those songs? Dont some of them have cuss words and talk about sex?” Never will I buy those! If I’m going to let my kids listen to that music they’re going to listen to the regular song..not some annoying kids version!! That would drive me insane!Also..how come I cant see any of the pictures you post!?
>You can’t see the pictures? I don’t know why- Might have something to do with your browser. I haven’t heard of anyone else having that problem- Sorry.
>Ugh, those Kidz Bob things drive me crazy.The one that REALLY made me roll my eyes was watching this cherubic little boy singing Uncle Kracker’s “Follow Me”, which is a song ENTIRELY about sleeping w/ a MARRIED woman, with lyrics like:”And I don’t worry ’bout the ring you wear,Cause as long as no one knowsThat nobody can care”Greeeeat. Nothing like starting the cheating gene early.
>Um, I like KidzBop. Yes – some of the songs are ridiculous. OK – all of them sound ridiculous sung by choruses of prepubescent kids. But I love hearing my kids sing along to the music and totally botch the lyrics. It’s good clean fun as far as I’m concerned. (And it’s not Raffi!)
>Well, that’s fair, RD, because I like Raffi. 🙂
>I hate those Kidz Bop cds, too. Not that I’ve ever bought one, but I’ve seen them advertised enough. I figure if you’re going to let your kids listen to those songs, you might as well let them listen to the originals. Anyway, those were some funny comments! And I know this wasn’t your comment, but I still feel the need to point out that ‘Beverly Hills’ was done by Weezer, one of the best bands EVER, and not Green Day. Just sayin’.
>I myself am a 14 year old girl, though Myspace thinks I’m 16, r0flc0pter XD. Even before I became a teenager, I HATED the Kidz Bop CDs. It wasn’t so bad that they were taking out cuss words, it’s that they had those little kids singing it in their screamy voices. For example, their version of Feel Good Inc. Not only do I believe that a kid young enough to buy a Kidz Bop CD shouldn’t listen to the Gorillaz at all, a child, male or female, cannot possibly imitate the perfect (druggie sounding) voice of Damon Albarn. It’s sick. Just let little kids listen to The Wheels on the Bus until middle school. By that point shielding them from cussing and sex is pointless. Geez, next thing you know they’ll be pulling out the MSI and kids will be screeching “(How ya livin Biggie Smallz?) In mansion and Benz’sIs givin ends to my friends and it feels stupendousTremendous cream, fuck a dollar and a dreamA still tote gats strapped with infrared beamsChoppin o’s, smokin lye an’ Optimo’sMoney hoes and clothes all a nigga knowsA foolish pleasure, whateverI had to find the buried treasure, so-so-so-so-so-so grams I had to measureLiving better now, Gucci sweater nowDrop top BM’s I’m the man girlfriendLiving better now, Gucci sweater nowDrop top BM’s, DROP TOP BM’S(Oh honey, Check it, Tell your friends, to get with MY friendsAnd we can BE friendsWe can do this every god damn weekend…keep bangin)” Ah, Jimmy Urine. His ridiculous voice range is a Godsend to my ears… Come to think of it, that’s a pretty good song. I’m gonna go download it. 0_o Greenday isn’t stupid or ignorant and (time for an over-repeated message!) they didn’t sing Beverly Hills, Weezer did. And since I realize most of you are parents: if your kid starts talking like a gangster and they’re white, don’t worry. They’re only kidding. Us girls think it’s pretty funny until they start talking about what they did to our mothers. And you also need not worry if your kid wears black. Black doesn’t equal goth, ok?! Jesus, it’s ridiculous! But you guys are smart enough to know that. Hopefully. Rock on, alright? Yeah. !~Kalila teh Mae, 14 year old genius
>Seriously, I LOVE some of these songs. These stupid, retarded little brats are singing GREEN DAY! They have DESTROYED Green Day forever! And MY IMMORTAL?!?! That song is heavy, really emotional stuff, and little 6-year-olds with whiny voices that think they can sing are turning it into CRAP. I could care less whose little brat is singing to Beverly Hills or whatever, I feel sorrier for the older kids that have to listen to this, then SCREAM when they hear their favorite song wrecked by KIDZ BOP, the moronic, sugarhigh little idiots. 3 year olds don’t NEED to listen to Coldplay’s lyrics, they’re NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FOR LITTLE KID’S EARS. REMOVING THE SWEARWORDS is just STUPID. Let them grow up, THEN listen to it.Also, they used “Yellow Submarine” in their “GOLD” CD. I almost DIED listening to little 5-year-olds singing MY FAVORITE BEATLES SONG. It’s just WRONG.I am crying and bleeding inside at the loss of GreenDay, Coldplay, Evanesence, Maroon 5, and even THE BEATLES. Who could wreck the BEATLES?!?!?!What’s next? “Our Lady of Sorrows” by My Chemical Romance? Or “Liar Liar (Burn in Hell)” by The Used? THEY SWEAR EVERYWHERE IN THOSE SONGS, BUT THEY’RE A HELL OF A LOT BETTER THAN MODIFIED SONGS FOR TINY, STUPID TODDLERS!KIDZ BOP SUCKS!
>I found a stupid review on Amazon for Kidz Bop.: Grown-ups, gather your wits about you and repair to a different room: The Kidz Bop gang has returned for yet another installment, and if you think your 7-year-old has already had enough of the high-energy vocal flim-flamming, well, guess again. No self-respecting second-grader can resist a custom recasting of Daniel Powter’s infectious “Bad Day.” Ditto that where Madonna’s “Hung Up” is concerned. Most appealing of all, though, may be the kiddification of the ballads: here’s a rendition of Kelly Clarkson’s “Because of You” that sounds ready-made for basement karaoke, or at least an electrifying lip sync into a hairbrush. And James Blunt’s ever-popular “You’re Beautiful” somehow takes on a tinge more urgency when it is sung, as it is here, by a chorus of chirpy-voiced, spaniel-eyed little admirers. Though the series is an easy target for cranky, musically discriminating adults, they should lay off. If not for the Bop (that won’t stop), when would they find time to seal themselves off with the latest “NOW” disc?I will now fix it:Grown-ups, gather your wits about you and repair to a different room: The Kidz Bop gang has returned for yet another installment, and if you think your 7-year-old has already had enough of the annoying, retarded, squeaky vocals of these idiot kids, well, your right. WAY too much No self-respecting human would want to listen to a custom kidz-bop-ian recasting of Daniel Powter’s infectious “Bad Day.” Ditto that where Madonna’s “Hung Up” is concerned. Most horrifying of all, though, may be the kiddification of the ballads: here’s a rendition of Kelly Clarkson’s “Because of You” that sounds ready-made for a tormentation cell, or at least a mind-melting treatment. And James Blunt’s ever-popular “You’re Beautiful” as always is ruined and stupified when sung by these squeaky-voiced, perfect-sync, idiot robot children. Though the series is an easy target for usually-fine, musically gifted adults, they should stop buying these Cds so the torment will end. If not for the Bop (that won’t stop), America would have many less retarded children (the ones who listen to this crap).
>erm… in my fix, change “Though the series is an easy target for usually-fine, musically gifted adults, they should stop buying these Cds so the torment will end.” to “Though the series is an often purchase for adults with no idea of what REAL kid music is like, they should stop buying these Cds so the torment will end.”
>My favorite new facebook group. I believe the next Kidz Bop must sing "I kissed a girl", by Katy Perry http://www.facebook.com/group.php?sid=b85aeb54373e35a8cd22f600bf303b1a&refurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fs.php%3Fsid%3Db85aeb54373e35a8cd22f600bf303b1a%26init%3Dq%26q%3Dkidz%2Bbop%26ref%3Dts%26n%3D-1%26o%3D4%26s%3D10%26sf%3Dp&gid=24031116611
>Oh, hell. Talk about taking perfectly good songs and ruining them or shoving inappropriate songs into a supposedly kid-oriented CD. Ever heard their version of "Toxic"? Shudder.
I’m sorry but WEEZER sang Beverly Hills not GREEN DAY