I'm Lindsay Ferrier, a Nashville writer with a passion for family travel, exploring Tennessee, and raising kids without losing my mind in the process. This is where I share my discoveries, along with occasional deep thoughts, pop culture tangents and a sprinkling of snark. Want to get in touch? Use the CONTACT form at the top of the page.
Musical Beds
February 21, 2013
I firmly believe that no child comes without Issues, and my five-year-old son has one that will probably surprise exactly none of you, since I can’t stop writing about it.
The kid won’t stay in his own bed.
He didn’t even sleep through the night until he was three years old. Let me repeat that.
HE DIDN’T SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT UNTIL HE WAS THREE YEARS OLD.
Looking back, I can say with certainty that I was a little crazier and more emotional during those years, and you can totally see it in my writing. Try not to judge me for my actions back then– Three years is a LONG time to go without a full night’s sleep, people.
Today, things are better, but at least once a week, Bruiser still shows up in our room at around 2 or 3 in the morning, asking to sleep with us. He crawls into our bed and spends the rest of the night kicking while turning in circles like the hands of a clock. Misery Ensues.
We’ve been coping with this fairly well, particularly after discovering that pillows can be very effective body armor, but there are certain times when it gets bad. Really bad. Last night was one of those times.
I knew it was coming, to some extent, because Bruiser had asked before going to bed if he could sleep with us. I said “No.” He looked upset. I felt bad and said, “Soon. But not tonight.” And to my son, “Soon” translates directly to “Not now, but try again at 2 am.”
Sure enough, at two in the morning, I was awakened by a tiny voice. “Can I sleep with you guys?” “Yes,” I muttered sleepily, moving over. Bruiser clambered into bed between my husband and me– only it wasn’t Bruiser.
IT WAS MY NEIGHBOR.
Just kidding.
It was my eight-year-old daughter. “I had a very bad dream,” she whispered as she snuggled in under the blankets. I patted her reassuringly. “Well, it’s over and you’re safe now,” I said, closing my eyes. Meanwhile, my daughter lay awake, blinking at the ceiling.
“I can’t stop thinking about Dottie,” she whispered after a few minutes. Dottie, our dog, sleeps in Punky’s bed each night, and was now all alone.
“She’s okay,” I whispered back. “If she weren’t, we’d know it. She’d be in here making noise.” Punky sighed and burrowed back down into the blankets. After a few minutes, I began to drift back into sleep.
“Can I sleep with you guys?” I opened my eyes. It was my son this time, at the foot of the bed. Dennis and I both sat up.
“I’ll go sleep in Punky’s bed,” Dennis said blearily. He got out and Bruiser climbed in. I looked at the clock. It was now 3 am. I tucked Bruiser in, while Punky climbed out of bed and went to the bathroom. She returned and we all lay down.
Two minutes later, Punky sat up. “I need to organize the pillow problem,” she said brightly, as if it were the middle of the afternoon. She hopped back out of bed and went to her room to trade pillows with Dennis. Once that was settled, she climbed back into our bed and had a brief argument with Bruiser over whether or not he’d be willing to scoot over and make more room. I got involved, laid down the law, and we all finally lay down. I closed my eyes. It was now 3:20am and I was exhausted.
WHUMP.
Bruiser sat up in bed, turned 180 degrees, and laid back down, this time on top of the covers. I was now unable to pull up the blankets beyond my hips.
“Bruiser!” I whispered. “Turn around and get back under the covers.”
“Mmmmfgggle,” he said back sleepily. “I like it down hee-uh.” I tried to pull him back, but he was a dead weight. I yanked on the covers with all my might and managed to secure a little more of them for myself. I was miserable. And cold. But I was too tired to do anything more about it. I looked at the clock. 3:30. I had now been up for an hour and a half.
I curled up into a ball for warmth and squeezed my eyes shut. I needed SLEEP, dammit. SLEEP. Just as my thoughts began to scatter, the door to Punky’s bedroom opened. I heard Dottie’s dog tags clink as Dennis placed her outside the door. She had woken up, I later learned, when Dennis got into Punky’s bed, and proceeded to race around the bed until he put her out. For the rest of the night, my sleep was punctuated by kicks to the head from Bruiser and the clinking of dog tags as Dottie wandered forlornly about the room. At 6:30 this morning, my alarm went off and… let’s just say it wasn’t pretty.
It wasn’t pretty at all.
The moral of this story? There is no moral, except to say that I’m tired.
So tired.
Sooooo…. Sooooooo….
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Oh, this brings back memories……At one point we had six children cycling in and out of our bed. We had to end up getting a King sized bed just to accommodate all the little bodies. I fell asleep during church more times than I care to admit….well, more than I can remember actually since my brain was only operating on half power.
WOW. We’ve never been able to fit more than three in our king-sized bed comfortably. When a fourth gets in, either Dennis or I get out!
My youngest, who is now 11, was the most needy in regards to sleeping with us. My two oldest slept with us off and on until they were 3 or so, then miraculously they simply stopped. I assumed it would work the same way with my youngest. However, when at 6 he was still regularly showing up in the middle of the night to crawl in next to me, it became clear that he was not going to “just” stop. So, we worked on it. We talked about growing up and had him imagine being 35 and still sleeping with Mom and Dad, or being in high school and having to tell your buddies you weren’t going to sleep over because you had to sleep with Mom and Dad. (LOL) Those scenarios got lots of giggles from him, but they were useful at bedtime to encourage him to stay in his bed. Off and on, he still shows up, but usually right before the alarm in the morning and now it’s just for “snuggles.” I do not understand why, nor can I explain it, but still, at 11, he needs that special one-on-one time with me. I know it won’t last forever, and it is a time of quiet sharing and connectedness. In every other way throughout the day he is a full-out, full-speed, stinky, smelly, BOY…he just needs his touchstone. And I will provide that for him as long as he needs it.
Bruiser goes through the early morning phase from time to time, too, where for a few weeks in a row he likes to come in and snuggle right before the alarm goes off– that I love. But I have to be honest- at 3am I am NOT in a snuggling mood!
“- only it wasn’t Bruiser.
IT WAS MY NEIGHBOR.” Oh….. this gave me a good laugh, thank you!
My day’s not complete unless I make SOMEONE do a double take!
This post crackd me up!!! I thought I had coined the phrase, “musical beds” but I guess not 🙂 We do this as well, about once a month if not more often. I can also “tell” when my son is going to do this and warn him the night before….”You have to stay in your bed tonight, ok?” Surprisingly this seems to work! But when he does get in our bed, the kicking, spinning, pillow-stealing and TALKING lasts until I go into his bunk bed! I am like your daughter in that I have to fix the “pillow problem” and I always take my pillow with me…wherever I go in the middle of the night to find sleep.
BTW: My kids are about your kids’ ages when you started blogging so I like going back and reading the old ones. It helps me to see where I will be one day, sanity wise 🙂
Good to know I’m not alone at 3am! I try to convince my son to stay in his bed the night before, too, with incentives if he can do it. It works– SOMETIMES. 😉
I hear ya!! Very much like our house too. (except we don’t have a dog or any other pet) Try going to sleep with extra blankets so that you’ll still have one wrapped around yourself even if the other blankets are yanked away by the children.
That’s a good idea- But the down comforter is SO COMFORTABLE. Hard to sleep without it! 😉
I hear ya!! Very much like our house too. (except we don’t have a dog or any other pet) Try going to sleep with extra blankets so that you’ll still have one wrapped around yourself even if the other blankets are yanked away by the children.
have you both tried getting out and going to the kid’s beds? we went through this ourselves. sometimes, we rolled close to each other taking away they extra space. eventually, it was over and they went back to their own beds.
We haven’t done that, only because it hasn’t been a huge problem. Once a week seems pretty good, considering the fact that it used to be EVERY NIGHT. 🙂 Lately, I’ve just been putting him back to bed if he tries to get in our bed too often. He protests, but he’ll do it.
My son was the same way. He didn’t sleep thru the night until he was almost 4! Hope this isn’t a premonition for you, but he didn’t stop coming into our bed until he was 9 or 10!
Last year about this time, my daughter started having sleeping issues. We did the in and out and up and down and round and round and GOTOSLEEPANDSTOPGRINDINGYOURTEETHINMYEAR and “I’m going to go sleep in the damn car!” and oh, pretty much everything else too. I was going crazy and was literally crying when the alarm went off in the morning. We finally just broke down and created a blanket pallet for her on the
floor that she was allowed to use at will. She could come in and sleep
in our room but that was it. I felt like we had caved in, but it worked though – after about a month of that, she began to get better and eventually went back to normal. Food for thought – it’s close enough but not quite so snuggly and wonderful as mom and dad’s bed…
We’ve thought of doing that- Luckily, it hasn’t gotten bad enough for that. YET. 😉