Now with Maggots!
“We’ve got a problem,” Hubs said the other day as he came in from the garage.
“What?” I asked.
“You know how the garbage truck didn’t come on Tuesday because it was the 4th? Well, I just lifted the lid of the trashcan out there and all these white things fell off the lid.”
“Nooooo…”
“Yes. Maggots.”
“EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!” I held my face in my hands and did my patented Oh Gross Dance. We had had trouble with maggots once before. And it was not pretty.
“So we have a freaking den of maggots out there at the end of the driveway. And I have no idea when the garbage men are planning on coming. They could’ve gone out of business for all I know.” Hubs shook his head despondently.
This was bad. This was very, very bad. The neighbors would surely be buzzing about our little indiscretion at any moment.
“Did you hear about the Ferriers? They have maggots.”
“You don’t say!”
“Trust me when I tell you I’m not letting my kids near their place anymore. You know what they say… Maggots in the trash, family got no cash. I’ll bet they put their house on the market within the next two weeks.”
“One would hope!”
And of course, gossip could only lead to another Dreaded Letter…
We have received several complaints about the maggot farm you have established on your driveway. Maggots are not permitted in our neighborhood, under code 5a in your homeowner’s manual. Please dispose of them immediately.
Dispose of them how exactly? I guessed I could call critter control. I’d offer to throw in our maggots’ deluxe plastic living quarters for free. But what if they refused to take on our maggot family? What then? Was there some sort of maggot refuge out in the country? I’d have to look into it.
In the meantime, we left the maggots where they were, praying that the garbagemen would come and rid us of our uninvited guests.
After several uncomfortable days,The Trashman finally Cameth. The maggots were relocated to the relative comfort of the garbage truck. But we were pretty sure that at least a few of the homebody maggots had stayed behind. Hubs went out to investigate.
“Yep, there are still some in here,” he reported while I watched from the safety of the front porch. “I’m going to clean them out with the hose.”
Yick! Do you see that maggot juice?!
Folks, you may be witnessing the first-ever instance of live maggot blogging. Right now, about 50 maggots are floating down our cul-de-sac, on their way to brighter horizons.
I wish them hell.
>EEEEW! That is all.
>Once, when I was 21, I had a stroke that paralyzed my entire left side (had to learn to walk again and have major PT) was in the hospital for 1.5 months during that 1st go-round. The lovely “Lectric Company cut my power off and my freezer was COVERED in maggots. I just waited till the power came back on and froze them.(They cannot bear cool temps thankfully). I then sold the fridge at a yard sale (feeling horribly guilty but I couldn’t bring myself to ever eat anything out of that fridge again…)Maggots=ick to the nth degree,
>What Erin said. Also, have you read that book “Julie & Julia?” It was based on a blog — this woman cooked her way through Julia Childs’s landmark book on French cooking “The Art of French Cooking.” Anyway, she cooked a lot but she wasn’t too clean and in the book she writes about getting maggots in her KITCHEN! Under the dish drain! That was the grossest thing I had ever read.But your story is second grossest. 😉
>I didn’t post photos of them, but I had an incident recently with maggots in our deck umbrella and wrote about it. They are so disgusting!
>OK…I’m not gonna eat rice for a year now. Thank you. Ew.
>I’ll trade your maggots for my black widows.Er….maybe not since I haven’t spotted a black widow for a while.
>LOL! I love it! Live maggot blogging! I love that you took this picture!! Bwahhhh haaahhhh haaahh!
>Ew, Ew, Ew! You are not alone, I will be brave and admit that I had maggots in the trash once and it FREAKED ME OUT. My dance probably looked a lot like yours. Thank god for their disposal! Down with Maggots!
>sooo gross. I’m in an entirely different state and am still doing the “Maggot Dance”. EEEEWW!
>I ::::hate:::: those little fly larvae! But as I’ve said before, it could be worse. Ticks could have wings.
>AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!*screaming, flailing arms and running like Pheobe on Friends*
>Is that The Dennis washing those bad boys away? I will never look at him the same.Those things have shown up in my trash cans outside before. Precious, ain’t they?
>I think I read somewhere that garbage men make really good salaries.Now I know why.And yes, that’s Dennis. The Brave Maggot Wrangler.
>Argh! Ew! YUK!We’ve had them in the garbage, too.They are disgusting, vile critters and *shudder* the thought of them makes me gag.Thankfully, I have my very own Maggot Wrangler and he uses Lysol (in the brown bottle) to gleefully drown, er…kill them & the odor. Although, I think just torching them would work too.
>Be careful or you’ll have PETA after you for maggot abuse.
>huuuuaak… huuuaaahhkk… aaccckk…bluuuuuuhhh..be back tomoroow .. huuuh..
>wow. Ijust came home from having two beers and two barely wines with my bro who is in town from Austaila. why did I read this? what was I thinking? eewwwwyes, I am drunk.:P
>But, a helpful hint I learned from watching CSI….Maggots will keep you alive if you’re horribly wounded, because they will keep the blood from getting infected at the woundsite. Of course, you’ll have the horrible nightmares, and need of therapy for the fact you had maggots munching on you…but, details…only details.That is all. I’m here to help. 🙂
>Ew, ew, ew. Spray your trashcan with bleach. Now. And then move!
>Thanks for sharing. And I mean that in the most sarcastic way possible. Yucky!
>Well, have you ever dumped a box of macaroni and cheese in a pot of boiling water, only to see little weavil worms come floating to the top? Yea. Bon Apetit.
>Live Maggot Blogging! Gives new meaning to the term “moblog.” 😉
>it’s hot and we’ve got them here too! i don’t know how the garbage men do it this time of year, they couldn’t pay me enough money to ever pick up that extra trash!
>That. is. disgusting. This is one instance where husbands REALLY come in handy, cuz I would NOT want to be cleaning out those maggot stragglers. EWWW!
>Agreed. If Hubs weren’t around, I would’ve left a note on the can that said, ‘Please take this can, too! PLEASE!’ 😉
>We had maggots this week, too! Nothin’ says summer like two weeks of garbage festering in the overheated garage! Mmmmmm, mmmmm, mmmmmmaggots!
>Tag! You’re It!!!
>That is so ironic because recently my husband and I had a conversation about maggots for the same reason. We have a trash can in the garage where we’ve designated all empty dog food cans are to go as well as any outside or overly gross trash. Same thing–the garbage men didn’t come one time and he commented that we’d now have maggots. Maggots? What ARE you talking about? In my head, that only happened in areas of extreme filthy, decay and disgust. Well, guess what? I guess that is my garage because, according to him, it happens every time we miss a garbage cycle. SICK! I avoid that entire area of the garage now…
>Heh. I haul my own garbage to an *undisclosed location* from the country and they slither around on the bags. ACK!
>Gee whiz, Lucinda. Just leave them alone and they will turn into flies and go away where there’s some nice rotten meat.Or, you could collect them and use them for fish bait. I used to do that. I’d keep the maggots in the refrig until it was time to go. Once, a full-grown fly popped up in the little vial I was keeping them in. Too bad. He drowned from lack of oxygen. Me 1, Maggots 0
>Having been exposed to civilian maggots in my trash can and professional maggots doing Search & Rescue, I’d have to say your community maggot police need a little perspective. The maggots you find under last week’s pot roast are a hell of a lot easier to take than the ones that squirm off a dead hooker’s face. Ugh. I hate maggots.
>I just didn’t need to know that. You’ve outgrossed me.
>Ick!!! Well, we have a huge leak underneath our house and I am sure we are going to find out that nasty live creatures are living under my house. Yes, I am sure I will be blogging about it shortly…ICK! ICK! ICK!JillCo-Founder, Silicon Valley Moms Blog
>All I can say is, “GAG!” That is why the trash guys used to come twice a week when we lived in FL. Up here they only come once per week. I guess we don’t have to worry about these things over the winter!
>ACK! That happened to us last year!!!! Turns out the maggots hate sun, so we (ahem, my husband) flipped open the lid and left in in broad daylight for a few hours, then sprayed out the can. I forgot about the maggot juice. Off to vomit….
>Eeuuuuuuuuwww…I think I need a bath now…or a glass of scotch to wash that story down…I’ll opt for the bath…You poor soul…Best leave the garbage covered and pretend it does not exist until??? when did you say????Feel for you…
>Thanks for sharing?I hate gross things! Or the mention of gross things. Or the implication of gross things. EWWWWW!(not to include farts or poop)
>You poor thing! There is nothing worse than maggots in the garbage can. Well, apart from dead rats that is. May the bloated ones rest in peace.
>I think the funniest thing is that your husband called it a “den of maggots”. Like a den of iniquity. HAHAHAHA.
>crap, I could have used those maggots to dine on my foetid gangrenous flesh. wait, I’m confusing myself with the junkie who was passed out next to our garbage can last week. won’t happen again!
>Whew! I’m so so glad that I finally let my hubs get rid of that bird’s nest in our BBQ grill. I realized that the grill, never shaded, probably flash fried those eggs in the hot summer sun and they would never hatch, so I let hubby clean it out and he put it in our burn pile. So so glad.Though if it were me, I think I’d just find a dumpster on a construction site or somewhere no one was looking and throw the whole can away and buy a new one. I know some cities require you have one of their cans though, so that would suck.
>This reminds me of the time I had to throw away 10 lbs of raw chicken that had defrosted in the fridge for too long.It was summer. It was the day *after* trash day. And we missed trash pickup the next week.By the following trash day, the whole neighborhood stunk for 6 blocks in every direction!The only consolation was that the stench spread so thoroughly, I was sure nobody would ever trace it back to my can. At least, I hope they didn’t. I would have died.
>HORRIBLE.I had a moth problem in the kitchen several months ago that really disgusted me, but now I’m thinking that wasn’t so bad.
>Hate when that happens.
>We had maggots too once. I’m sure it won’t be the last time. NASTY!
>It’s hard to think of something grosser than maggots. Maggot juice, maybe. Thanks – that was disgustingly entertaining.
>I found your site searching for maggots. Here is my experience with them. We went on vacation and when we got back we noticed that the stupid refrigerator decided to break. ALL of the meat in the freezer rotted and was infested with loads of maggots. Some of the bastards were almost half an inch long! It smelled like we were harboring a dead body in the house. It took about 5 hours (whole time with the heeby jeebies pretty much) to throw everything away and clean the fridge completely. Luckily the trash was picked up the next day so the little fuckers couldn’t multiply in the garbage can. The fridge now smells like shit (no better word to describe it). Some of them are still growing in the freezer, because it was hard to get them all out. Even worse is that since its broken we can’t turn the freezer on and freeze them to death either! We may just throw away the fridge and get a new one, because this wasn’t the first time it broke down. 1800 dollar Maytag fridge and this is how it treats us. Never buy a Maytag and stay the hell away from maggots!
>you want sick here we go . we found a kitten today injured hind leg can’t walk on it took her home only to find her covered in maggots and she also has a hole on her belly with maggots inside of it . we bathed her shaved her hair off. with a syringe flushed her wound out with peroxide. bathed her again combed her with a lice comb put ointment in and on her wound. giving her amoxi drops for infection. now its a wait and see how she will do.