Patience: Every Parent Needs It

  1. Laura Cooper says:

    Whenever I feel myself growing impatient with my teenage sons, I remember an acquaintance who lost ALL THREE of her children in a single car accident, along with her Mother.  Then I can gloss over the moodiness, the dirty socks on the floor, etc.  One day I will have no children in the house and I will miss having those mouths to feed and those awkward teenage boys hugs.

    • Anonymous says:

       That’s heartbreaking, Laura. I read a blog post recently from a mom who lost a child shortly after birth- She wrote that she never minded the noise of her other two children now, because it’s the noise of LIFE, and she’d much rather have that all day long than silence.  I think of that post often now.

  2. Jenny Lomax says:

    I feel as though I lose more patience as I grow older, which seems strange and backwards. I find that I have become slightly more cynical and feel impatience towards a lot of situations and people and it leaves me feeling so GUILTY. My younger self was so optimistic and kind and always saw the best in everyone.  I feel like I’ve gotten so far away from myself sometimes.

    Of course, I notice most of my impatience comes out towards my children which breaks my heart.  That is one of the things I would most like to work on . . . building up patience with my children.  I felt more patience with them as babies and as they grow older and their personalities challenge mine, I feel impatience surge through me.  Having children is the most character building process ever, I believe!

    • Anonymous says:

      I feel that same impatience. I try to remind myself whenever I feel tempted to be short with my kids to take a deep breath, get down on their level, and talk to them face to face about what the problem is. That seems to work a lot better for all of us.

  3. Raebabe3 says:

    GREAT post.  Very relatable to a specific situ in my own life and has me re-thinking my current strategy of … coping.  Thank you for that.

  4. Nicole says:

    I never thought of children as character building through patience but it makes sense. My own parents lost patience with my younger sister (almost a 10 yr difference) and allowed her things that they would never have let me do. They just seemed tired of parenting and just wanted to be done with the whole process. They just gave in, because it was easier than fighting.

    Having kids is definitely trying. I know at the end of a long day, I just want to let the kids do whatever they want because it gives me a few minutes of peace. I need to work on my patience so I don’t give up on parenting them. Especially during the teenage years ahead. I can see myself dropping the ball since I now know that I’m more of a peacekeeper than a peacemaker. I hate conflict but it seems you can’t raise kids without it.

    • Anonymous says:

      Well, some parents have kids grow up without conflict, but trust me, they are the exceptions (and yet, they will never cease bragging about it at cocktail parties and on your blog, LOL). Puberty equals conflict for the vast majority of parents and teens and I do think it’s easier going into it knowing and expecting it to happen.

  5. NancyB says:

    I had patience with my son in his teenage years because I continually reminded myself of what it was like to be a teenager.  I was a very moody teenager and it had nothing to do with my parents it was just me.  So even though my son is incredibly easygoing, when he got in his moods or had unreasonable demands I could take a deep breath and deal with it.    I feel like we need compassion also which helps us to be patient.
    On the other end of the spectrum at the same time my son was being a teenager, my father was needing surgeries and medical assistance.  Unfortunately I was not as patient with him as I should have been when he was being unreasonable because he was not in familiar surroundings and sick because I didn’t know what it was like and fathers aren’t very good at sharing their feelings.Beth said “….not only something in them but also something in us that needs to change” which was really a revelation for me. We have conflict with some in-law type family members and man, do they bring out the worst in us!  It’s tough to be around them.  I we are ever in their presence again I’ll be sure to remember this session on patience!

    • Anonymous says:

      I loved the advice to hang in there and commit to difficult people rather than avoiding them, which is what it seems everyone else tells us to do. I think in the end, we actually feel BETTER when we take the initiative to deal with the troublesome people in our lives. Avoiding them generally leaves us feeling guilty or wondering if we could/should have done things differently.
       

  6. Mary A says:

    I console myself thinking that my current shrieks of frustration will make amusing stories when my boys are home from Medical School for Thanksgiving.

    It’s character building

  7. Boricua_keya says:

    Hmmm. You knew EXACTLY when to post this. Thank you.

  8. Jenna@CallHerHappy says:

    This was very timely. I just love my daughter with every fiber of my being. And, at this point in her life (3 mos. old), she can’t do anything wrong or disobedient. She isn’t capable of it right now. But, boy oh boy can she be trying on my patience. I know it’s only going to be more trying (but also more rewarding) as time goes on. But, she is making me a better person, and I love her for that too!

    Jenna
    callherhappy.com

    • Anonymous says:

      My son was very trying as a baby, and I look back at pictures of him now and wish I could have enjoyed how adorable he was. The truth is that he was so demanding and cried so much that I just struggled to get through each day. He’s TOTALLY making up for it now, though. Still demanding, but very loving and hilarious. I think it will definitely get easier for you as she gets older. 🙂

  9. […] Unrelatable? And what about my Christian readers? Will they wonder how I can write a post about the fruit of the Spirit one day and one about the numskulls in the car rider pick-up line the next? Will they think […]

  10. S. says:

    What do I think? Well, since you asked….

    I don’t think you need to worry THAT much about being patient.

    In fact, IMHO you probably shouldn’t.

    Years ago I bought a parenting book by Kenneth Condrell. The title is: “Wimpy Parents: From Toddler to Teen — How NOT to raise a Brat.” Since I most definitely didn’t want to raise a brat, I bought the book and it really helped me clarify my ideas about discipline.

    It is an excellently written book that will help you to know where to draw the line between “being patient” with your kids and “being TOO patient.” Try reading the book! You will not be disappointed. Good luck!

    By the way I am definitely not implying your kids are brats! No, what I meant is that the book is excellent and helpful to everyone.

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