>Soylent Green is Nannies
>I used to think that nannies were for the rich and botoxed.
I mean, I certainly didn’t know anyone who had one. Nannies moved in the world of high-powered business execs or ladies who lunched… not your average every day working mom.
But in the last few years, it seems times have changed. Or maybe my neighborhood has. All I know is that it’s getting harder and harder to find a real, live mommy when I take the kids to popular children’s attractions around town.
Because the nannies? They’re everywhere.
Read my fearsome evidence of this nannifestation in this week’s newspaper edition of Suburban Turmoil, then come back and tell me what you think of the growing nanny numbers. Do you have a nanny? Do you know someone who does? Did you know the going rate for nannies now (at least here in Nashville) is just $12-$14 an hour? Do you think all these nannies might be zombies in disguise, here to infect our children?
I need to know these things so that I can sleep tonight.
>I’m just a regular working mom without a nanny (puleeze) unless you count MY mom, who takes care of the kid after school. I don’t know anyone who does but I live in New Hampshire, so it’s not a hotbed for that yuppified excuse for not being with your child. If you can afford a nanny, you can afford to stay home, but I think those with nannies often don’t want to be home with their kids. The going rate for regular old babysitters is $10/hour…I used to get $1.00 if I was lucky.
>I haven’t seen many nannies, but I have noticed quite a lot of stay-at-home dads in area. Any ideas behind this one?And you couldn’t pay me enough to nanny. I’ll happily make my $15 sitting behind a desk than running around with screaming, sticky kids.
>I read this blog called I Saw Your Nanny where people post bad/good nanny sitings. I am not a nanny, nor have one, but read it for the pure entertainment factor. The bad nannies are much more fun to read about!
>Ooh, I saw that site once. It’s kind of scary, actually.
>I guess I live in too rural of an area to have a nanny thing going on. I mean, the VAST majority of people here don’t even earn $12-14 per hour……$10/hr. is a good job.
>I loved being with my kids (well, mostly), but I can see how someone would hire a nanny. Not everyone is cut out for rolling around on the floor all day and night. If a woman can afford a good nanny, as opposed to a daycare, then her kids can have the benefit of someone’s full attention during the work day while the mom excells at her grown-up time, and hopefully, enjoys her quality time with her kids when she’s off.I’ve seen plenty of stay home moms who can’t take enough Prozac to make them nurturing. Those kids would be much better off with a nanny!
>I’m just thinking from a parent’s perspective that if a nanny charges $12-$14 an hour and you have two or more kids, that’s about as good a deal as (or even better than) daycare- and much better for the kids, if you’ve got the right person.
>I live in NY and many working mothers have nannys here. It’s not that much more than daycare. I pay $200 per week for my son alone. The upside to a nanny is the flexibility. If you work and can’t get home on time, you don’t have to kill yourself trying. Some also clean and cook! Some are live-in which would drive me crazy. I thought about it, but decided it’s better to have my kids in a place where there are other kids to play with.
>Speaking as a former nanny, “We’re everywhere.”Now that I’m a mom, I can officially declare, I was much better at my job then than I am now. I was actually getting a full nights sleep!
>Even when I was working and had a babysitter for two days a week, I still called her “babysitter” rather than “nanny.” I hear “nanny” and I smell money.
>If I had 2 kids close in age, I would sooooo be getting a nanny!! I just did the calculations and even at $14 an hour it’s still only $40 more than I pay for daycare for my 1 child!
>I nannied for several years. I even graduated from ‘Nanny School” when I was 18. It was very eye opening to see how some of these families live. One thing that you do get from a nanny that you won’t from daycare, is often, someone who will also run your errands, clean, do laundry and fix dinner- so there is a lot of extra bang for your buck. That said, once my last position became more about taking care of the parents needs (ironing jeans and sheets??#$*!), I knew it was time to move on. There is something about being so completely removed from the day to day workings of one’s own household that can make perfectly wonderful people become grotesque and high maintenance in a way they don’t even recognize.
>I am a former Nanny. And I had several babies call me “Mama” before they called their real Mama, “Mama”. That’s how much time I spent with these kids. And that’s why today…at 11 weeks pregnant, I will not have a Nanny. I will be my kids Mama!
>I have the other side of the story I grew up with a nanny. My parents had two of us close in age and my parents hired a live in nanny. My mom did not work but I loved having the nanny. When my younger brother napped my mom would leave him with the nanny and we would go have our time together. Then she could leave me with the nanny and get alone time with my brother. The nanny cooked and cleaned so mom spent more time with us. I am a stay at home mom and if I had more than one I would get a nanny just to do that spend quality time with each child.
>i live in suburban Toronto. 90% of my friends have live-in nannies. i also thought that nannies were for rich people. but, when i got offered a full-time job and had a 3 year old and a 1 year old, it turned out to be WAY cheaper to hire a live-in nanny than it was to send them both to daycare. it’s worked out really, really well for us.
>The watershed moment happens in our household this summer. I will become more busy at work with a change in job responsibilities and my wife also works full time. Right now we have a child in preschool and a child in kindergarten with aftercare after school. This summer, the older child will be attending summer camps. So…we will be hiring a college student to take care of her after camp lets out 5 days a week…hmmm 3 hours a day, 5 days a week, 15 hours…nanny?I’m a movin’ on uppppp to the east side!
>I grew up in rural Indiana, pretty much middle class, neither poor nor wealthy, and we had a live-in nanny. (Sunday through Friday) She cooked and cleaned and technically cared for my brother and I, but wasn’t all that “into” us kids. But since my parents both had to work, it was necessary.I’m a military spouse – my husband is an E6, so we’re not rolling in money – and I guess according to the “definition,” we have a nanny. She doesn’t live-in, but the two weeks a month I work, she’s here a good 12 hours a day. She takes care of the baby and runs the other kids to and from school, even does light cleaning. She was a good friend of mine before she started watching my kids, so maybe that’s why we were able to work out such a good deal! (I pay $300 a week for my 1 year old, and $75 each for 2 of my school age kids. We agreed that my 13 year old doesn’t technically need “babysitting.”) I was a stay at home mom for the last 10 years, and the only way we can do this is because I got a pretty decent paying job, so we’re not spending all my income on childcare.
>I used to live in the kind of neighborhood where all of the women close to my age at the playground with small children were nannies. The rare times I saw the mommies they were all much older, traveled in packs, and saw their children on the weekends.I got along better with the nannies than the mommies needless to say. ‘It was always awkward when the more absentee parents of a child that my children really liked was around. Here was a child that my kids had been playing with for months, we had even had play dates,and their parents had no idea who I was.
>One of my very dearest friends is a nanny. The family she works for has 3 kids, and it worked out to be cheaper to have a full time nanny than to pay for three kids to go to daycare (both parents are doctors).
>First off – I’ve never commented before but I’m a Louisvillian and discovered your blog(s) via the Leo. Now I keep up regularly in between my clients at work (just don’t tell my boss!).My brother and sister-in-law used a nanny until my niece was about a year and a half old. My sister-in-law worked from home, but also traveled alot and was constantly on conference calls for work. They felt she was too young for daycare and their nanny was able to do things with K.O. that she wouldn’t have gotten out of daycare (much like your educational outings and such with your kids). One of the ways they were able to afford it was that they split her with another family who brought their little boy over to my brother’s house a couple days a week.
>For awhile, I had a nanny for my first son. I had to go back to work at 8 weeks, and I mean HAD to being that I was a military officer at the time. It was more expensive than daycare, but I wanted my son to get one on one attention. I knew the girl personally before I hired her so that made it a little easier. I just wanted him in his own house sleeping in his own crib, etc. It honestly worked out like a dream and I was very sorry to see her go.Then it worked out where my husband became a SAHD and that also worked out very well.Now, I stay home Tuesdays and Thursdays (no longer in the military) and my husband stays home Mondays and Wednesdays and Fridays. And for now, that is working out also.
>I think there are the rare 25% of those who have nannies that can justify it. Though sadly I see way too many nannies being used so mommy can go to spin class & weekly spa days. Though when you consider if the mom is that self absorbed, then maybe the one on one attention the child gets from a nanny is a big step up. I guy I went to school w/ 1st-grade -11th, had a nanny the same one all those years. His dad worked a ton & his mom was to "busy" being social. Most of our classmates thought the nanny was him mom. She was a room mom, did field trips & was present for all of his big days. He was very lucky to have her.I hate to make this big..My uncle was killed @ 36 yrs old, leaving his wife w/ a 10 yr old stepson & 3 boys of their own under age 7. Being a stay@ home mom & no family living near her, she hired a nanny. Full time-live in. It gave her time to grieve, attend the court cases & deal w/ insurance issues & sell their home. The nanny was w/ them for 4 yrs. & made her family's situation easier.
>Well, based on your definition, I have a nanny. We’ve had her since my first born was 5 months old. She’s like part of the family and now has 2 kids of her own too. She works about 25 hours a week and gets paid $15/hour, plus benefits- like a big end-of-year bonus. I used to give her $1 more every year but we had to put the kibosh on that. There is a ceiling.
>I am certainly not one for you to compare to…but, I'm an architect in Beverly Hills…the nanny for one of my clients (2 boys) makes about $78k a year (the mom's personal assistant makes more. Who knows what the chef & housekeeper make…). A NANNY (actually, MANny, in their case)! So for any of you who think architecture is such a glamorous & high-paying job…think again. I may have to switch careers…
>Love your City Paper commenters. Who knew that all nannies “have an aversion to a regular job” and just want “access to wealthy families in order to “sponge”?”
>Great article! The only downer was the idiot’s comment that made the assumption that all nannies are slacker leeches looking for a rich free ride. I was a nanny and know that many nannies LOVE the kids they work with. And it’s definitely not a job for slackers!
>I have a nanny. She’s not a live in and she’s only with us three days a week but she’s a much better alternative to putting our infant twins in daycare while my husband is at work. I work overnights so I am at home sleeping while she is with the boys.
>I used to nanny a few years ago for $8/hr. I cooked and cleaned and did all the laundry too.
>I'm a nanny. I'm on salary, and I maKE about $10 an hour, for care of one 4-year-old girl plus her big sister (but only on occasion). I love my job, I have a great relationship with the parents & the children.I'm leaving my email because I'd be happy to answer any questions you have about nannies.RachelAllyse@gmail.com
>What can I say Nannies make the world go round.
>I’m still amazed at how women (TheOtherJennifer) can be so savagely binary about choices that other moms make. You never know what’s happening inside a family, people! I love my daughter and love my career (guess I’m one of the high-powered execs – snort). They’re not mutually exclusive. We have a nanny who makes $15 per hour, and I have added her to our health insurance. She doesn’t cook, clean (well, she picks up) or do laundry, which is unusual in Nashville. I like to cook, and frankly, our biggest indulgence is a cleaning person. The going rate for a nanny in Nashvile is about $10-$12 per hour for one child, but we got into a bidding war for our nanny when the economy was better. As my daughter approaches three, we’re moving her to a daycare/school so she gets more interaction with other children. We’ll miss our nanny, and she’ll take a pay cut when she leaves here. I know almost as much about the nanny market as I do the stock market, which in my line of work is pretty telling.
>I’m a little concerned that no one has brought up the fact that if nannies are getting paid $12-14 per hour, they are probably underpaid. There’s also the issue of health care and employment taxes, especially if the nannies work closer to full time hours. If nannies are paid fairly, they are very hard for ordinary people (not super rich) to afford. But if they are not paid fairly, well, then, it seems unfair! Not that I have the perfect solution. When I lived in Nashville (and also now that I’m back in Pittsburgh) my solution has been to hire college students to baby sit a few hours per week at $10-12 per hour. It doesn’t totally get around the fairness issue, but I know that it’s just a part time job for them, and it’s a little bit of help for me and my husband.
>I spent several years as a nanny and vowed after that experience that my kids will NEVER have a nanny unless it is seriously absolutely necessary. I do wish there had been a nanny group where I live. The stay at home moms at playgroup, library storytime, etc. didn’t know what to do with me. A lot of times I’d pretend to be his Mom, because it was just easier than the awkwardness when I admitted to be the Nanny.And man, I feel gyped if nannies are actually getting paid that much!! I only got $5-$8 per hour!!!
>This is Anonymous, part two. Kathy N, you bring up a good point. We pay our nanny’s social security and ALL of the taxes required(ahem, Mr. Geithner). She works about 40 hours a week at $15.00 and we pay her health insurance benefits. If we ask her to come early or stay late, we pay her overtime. If we don’t need her to work as much, we still pay for 40 hours. We’re the anomaly on the overtime issue, as most families I know ask the nanny to leave early or come in later rather than pay overtime. We’re fortunate that we can afford to do this – our costs will go down substantially when our daughter begins daycare. The bottom line is that my family AND my job are important to me, and we make sacrifices so that both can thrive.
>In my neck of the woods (north of Cincinnati), au pairs are the big thing. An au pair lives in your house and has a set (mostly)schedule to watch the kids. I don’t have one, but my sister-in-law and most everyone in her neighborhood does. I definitely feel like the odd one out when they’re all discussing what their au pair did or didn’t do.
>Wait–WHAT? A Nanny is only $12-$14 an hour in Nashville? I am paying $10 for teenaged babysitters for an occasional night out in suburban Nashville! That sounds like a bargain!
>I have a single mom friend that works really odd hours as an air traffic controller and she has a nanny this year. It’s been a great solution for her in regards to child care…and as another friendly almost grown-up person around home to talk to.
>Nannies are expensive, but pretty much everyone I know who has kids has one. But I guess I live in the Northeast (home of rich evil selfish women, apparently), so what do you really expect. I also don’t have a single SAHM in my immediate circle of friends. Heck, I even had a full time nanny back in 1977. I’ve always expected that I would have a career that would necessitate outside help. Being a SAHM was something that never even occurred to me!They’re about $15/hr up here, which amounts to 35-45K/year if you pay for their social security/ unemployment benefits. If you have more than 1 kid, a nanny is really the way to go. Daycare can really add up, and you can have your nanny help cook, clean, and shop as well as look after the kids. I really don’t see the downside.
>If you can afford to have a nanny take your kids to the park while you are in spin class, what’s wrong with that? How is that different from dropping your kid at the YMCA nursery to take the class, or leaving your kid with grandma to do something, anything for yourself?I don’t think motherhood is a competition where the mom who spends the most hours with her kids wins. FYI, I am a stay at home mom who doesn’t have a nanny, cleaning service, or dog-walker. I’m a DIY parent, but I don’t see the point in criticizing people who have help.
>Two thoughts, apropos of nothing: 1. I have a feeling that the word “nanny” gets bandied about because it sounds better than “sitter.”2. As I was reading this, I just kept thinking about Chris Rock in Head of State: “On the count of three, everybody take care of your own damn kids.” That’s not intended to be a commentary on anything, just funny.
>I had a nanny for my newborn son nearly 16 years ago. She was with us for about a year. She was very good with my son, but it always bothered me that I wasn’t raising my own child. So, I quit my high-paying professional job, down-sized our lives, and became a SAHM. I’ve never regretted it.(I’m not saying this is something every working mother should do. I’m just sharing my experience.)
>We dont have them where I live in nw Oklahoma but back in 99 I lived outside of the beltway near DC and took my new baby to his 6 week baby checkup. The dr came in and said are you the nanny? umm.I asked nanies actually bring kids to their appointments. He says it happens alot. I felt like a bumpkin! lol
>Wow. I had no idea so many people had nannies. None of my friends have a nanny. Most of us are SAHMs or work while our kids are in school. One little girl in my daughter’s preschool has a nanny, but she’s definitely the odd one out. I live in MN. I’m sure there are areas where nannies are more common, but not out here in ‘burb-ville.Oh wait! My kids do have a Nanny! They go to Nanny’s house once a week. She picks them up from school, takes them out for ice cream, buys them clothes and toys. Heh. “Nanny” is what my kids call my mother. So yeah, I have a nanny, too. She’s grandma.
>I have to say I’m surprised at how judgemental some of your readers can be. I like the commenter who came up with the number 25% for moms who can justify having a nanny. REALLY? I’m positive you didn’t just pull that number out of your ass. I’m sure you did a lot of research on that.Would anyone judge a mom who has their kids in daycare because they have to work? Would they be thought of as snobs who “don’t want to raise their own kids?”I have a fulltime nanny. That’s what she calls herself. It would be impossible for me to take care of preemie twins and my four-year-old with no outside help. I am home everyday but when I’m on a deadline I have to work. when I’m not on a deadline I can’t exactly just tell my nanny “Never mind, I’m not going to pay you for this week because I don’t need you.” I, personally, wouldn’t want my preemies in daycare where they will surely catch colds every single day. It’s not easily affordable but it’s a SACRIFICE I MAKE FOR MY CHILDREN. And guess what. Sometimes I go to the gym while my nanny watches my kids.
>Nannies are everywhere imho because in alot of cases at least in my state of NJ. Daycare for 2 children is almost $1800. a month alone in my city. Its cheaper to have a live out Nanny than daycare in most cases. I am a single working mom of an adopted almost 2 year old. I am in the process of adoopting again…I can’t afford 2 in daycare period. I would love to be home with my kids but working put food on our tables and clothes on our backs.
>Why have kids if someone else is going to take care of them? Are you aware the world is being overpopulated leading to the eventual melting of our polar icecaps? Let only those who are willing to take care of their children have them!
>I am not rich and I have a nanny. I call her that because she lives in my house. She cares for the kids and prepares snacks/ lunch/ sometimes dinner for them and puts dishes in the dishwasher, but otherwise does no cooking/cleaning.How much? It’s a swap. She gets a large room with its own bath and private entrance, plus wifi, cable, garden, utilities, etc. in exchange for 15 hours a week (5 hours, MWF). If she works extra, I pay her $12/hour during daylight and $15/hour after nightfall. We have a very flexible arrangement, where she can book days off in advance – and owe me the hours – or I go on vacation, in which case she owes me half the hours. I also give her a year-end bonus.What do I do with the time? I work from home. Not easy to do a conference call when the kids are hungry or screaming. Sometimes I have lunch with friends. Sometimes I go to the gym. Sometimes I sleep.Does this amount to me abandoning my children? I do think they need a lot of attention and that as a mom who works from home, I just can’t give them enough. I also like having the flexibility to keep my work schedule even when they are sick or have a snow day, etc.Our nanny has been with us for 1.5 years now – and she replaced a friend who had been here for 3 years. (My kids are now almost 7 and 5.5). It’s been great for us. The kids love her, and the still love me. They know the difference.
>In my neighbourhood, nannies are very common. Many stay at home moms have nannies as well. I think whatever works for your family is fine. It’s interesting to watch the different ways nannies fit into families though. Some families leave almost all childcare to nannies while others use the opportunity of having someone else do cooking and cleaning so that it allows the parents more time with the kids. I do think though that nannies are so common here because a good daycare can cost $2000. per month or more. Live in nannies are paid in a similar range and allow a lot more flexibility.Julie
>I had a full time nanny for my preemie until he was one. He went to daycare 3 days a week from one year to 4 years. He started school full time at 4. I loved the combination of one on one he got from the nanny and the other kids at daycare. I think it was the best mix. The daycare loved us because we never had to bring in a sick kid. The nanny’s schedule was so flexible that she could help out on sick days and days the day care was closed. I paid $12/hr at first, then bumped it to $14/hr. I really worked to pay the nanny that first year but it was worth it. I would have loved to be able to work part time (3 days a week) but I couldn’t find a job that would let me. They either wanted someone full time or on call. I’m not cut out to be a full time SAHM.
>I feel bad for even posting this because I don’t recall the source, however, let me see if I can get it right.I owned a daycare at one time. Weekly pay for one child was 80 to 85 a week depending on the age or $320 a month if they paid monthly (a discount of sorts).Now, I read where some folks were getting a live in Nanny for $400 a month plus some misc other extra’s that included meals with the family (free of charge of course), internet access, a place to sleep, etc. And, in most cases, these Nanny’s were responsible for a lot of the child care duties. But, in my case, I’d gladly pay someone $400 a month, give them a place to live, food to eat and internet access, heck, I”d provide them with a computer if they would take care of my children for about 6 hours during the day and then on occasion for a night out once or twice a month. That’s a freakin’ steal. So, now if you can afford to pay someone (daycare) $320 a month and you have to get your kid up at the crack of dawn to daycare, and then pick them up, then come home and help second child with homework and blah blah blah, I can see where a Nanny would be the most awesome addition to a family ever.Now, that said, I can’t find a site anywhere that offers that kind of pricing…so I dunno….but I did read it somewhere…when I find it again, I’ll be back.