>Synonym for Constipation: Toddler
>I waited until Baby was distracted by Boohbah before quietly going in the bathroom and shutting the door.
Finally. A moment alone, at a time when I really needed a moment alone. I had been waiting to go to the bathroom for 30 minutes.
Ten seconds later, there was a knock on the door.
“Iss ME!” Baby called. “Open door, please!”
I sighed and turned the handle. In came Baby.
“Mommy going potty?”
“Yes,” I said. She continued standing in front of the door. “Can you come on in or go back out? There are other people here and I need to close the door.” She didn’t move. “Mommy needs privacy!” Finally, I grabbed her hand and pulled her inside, shutting the door behind her.
“I wanna go outside!” Baby shouted, slapping the door with her palms.
“Okay,” I said. “But once you go out, you’re staying out. I need privacy.”
“Okay,” she grumbled.
I opened the door and Baby scooted through before I closed it again.
Five seconds later, a knock.
“Iss ME! Open door, please!”
I opened the door.
“I got a book,” she said, seating herself on her only-used-once-ever baby potty. She opened it and “read” for two or three seconds. She stood. “Mommy need book.”
“No I don’t.”
“Mommy need a book!” She stood before the door. “Open, open!”
“Mommy needs privacy!”
“Open!”
I opened the door. Baby left. I closed the door.
Another knock.
“Iss ME!”
I opened the door. Baby held a Pottery Barn catalogue. She came inside and handed it to me.
“Read! Read!”
I opened the catalogue and pretended to read it.
“I wanna sit in yer lap.”
“Baby. I’m going potty right now.”
“I wanna sit in yer lap.”
I picked her up and sat her on my lap.
“Bounce! Bounce!” Baby shouted. “Horsey!”
I put her back down. Baby pouted for a moment, then brightened.
“I wanna wash hands! Yeah! Yeah! Wash hands!”
I bit my lip and stood up. Inexplicably, I didn’t need to go to the bathroom anymore.
Gah.
>Ok, that’s it. I’m definitely not having kids. I can deal with no sleep, no quiet time, no money…but no pooping? That’s asking too much.
>Okay…I needed to know that my 2 year old girl is not the only toddler in the USA that does this very thing. To exact for me~~are you sure you don’t live in my house with my daughter?
>The exact same thig happens in my house. I love when I can get a shower alone without a toddler peeping in.
>Wow and I thought I was the only one who ever put their child on their lap when they sat on the toilet. Thank you.
>Oh my gosh, your blog cracks me up. I’ve got to stop reading it while my husband and I debate having kids. P.S. If you contracted e.coli I’m thinking you wouldn’t have had any problems despite the interruptions.
>Toddlers and their Mommy Bathroom radar. This is why I always use the bathroom furthest from the rest of the house – no one will hear me when my toddler inevitably leaves the door open (and it’s too far for me to reach) on her visits.
>soooooooo funny!!!!!! mostly because its sooooooooooo true… and I have 3 kids under 4, yes THREE!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂
>wow, i don’t think i would have continued to let her come in. seriously, you might want to address this before the other baby gets here, she’s going to have a hard time sharing you, this could be the first step.
>Letting her in is much easier than letting her cry on the other side of the door. I don’t want her thinking she can’t get to her mommy- that would be unnecessary torture at 2.
>god. i have that experience all the time. at least your kid says please.
>Too funny, and oh so true! My son is always with me in the bathroom even if I wait until he is occupied doing something else before I go. I think that radar is something they are born with because when he was a baby, he would always cry right then too even if he had been completely soundly asleep.
>Boy do I know all about that! I’ve got 2 toddlers who think that everytime someone in our house goes to the bathroom it is perfectly okay for them to come along. I guess privacy is gone for awhile! LOL
>Hahaha…too funny! My wife and I have learned to control our bladders until after 7:30 pm. Then, we each go to our respective bathrooms and sit on the toilet for half an hour, enjoying the peace and solitude.
>I’ve found the solution: Warm lemon water. Then put on Blues Clues. Then YOU time. 😉
>http://cyclonecece.blogspot.com/2006/07/one-where-my-kid-almost-died-while-i.htmlThat's the one where I write about having a kid and trying to poo! (I put spaces in the url so that it would fit)
>LMAO…maybe you should wait until she’s asleep and give yourself an enema. 🙂
>WE are on the same page today Lindsay And I even have pictures to show for!! Check it out if you dare. I was wondering who would make the guess first.http://www.beforebaby.com/waya/2006/09/19/wheres-waldo/
>ROFL…ahhhh the joys of motherhood.
>*** Wow and I thought I was the only one who ever put their child on their lap when they sat on the toilet. Thank you. ***Same!A bit TMI – but once it was time of the month and I was discretely trying to pop in a plug when baby J lies down on the bathroom floor so he can look up between my legs and see what I’m doing up in there. Christ.
>This is mostly a mom issue, as dad just tells them no.Certain things dad just will not share, and quality time may be at the top of the list.
>Yup…that settles it…no kids for me! It’s bad enough that I have an audience of three animals (despite protests of, “But I don’t get all up in your business when you’re using the litterbox!”(to the cats) or “I don’t try to sniff your crotch when you’re peeing!” (to the dog). I don’t think that I could take one more “audience member.”
>ROFL!!! I get a 4 yr old, 8 yr old, 36 yr old and a cat that bams on my door. It doesn’t matter if I fed them all cake and ice cream just before I made my escape. But let me open the door on one of them and all hell breaks loose..cat included.
>Oh boy, that’s my three-year-old, too. I have given up shutting the door when I go potty anymore.
>Well, since you posted today, does this mean we are to presume you are ebola free? Or does it just mean you precious wee one has decided not to let you use the loo in privy still?Be thankful you don’t have an almost nine year old boy who likes to barge in to my bathroom when I’m trying to take care of woman business.AAGGHH!
>So cute and annoying! I remember the day when I figured out my kids were old enough to live without me for five minutes. Then I LOCKED THEM OUT! It was heaven. In case you’re wondering when that is, it’s when they start pointing at you and saying rude things. Same with taking baths with them. When your body starts grossing your children out then it’s time to start bathing along. Trust me.
>OK Lucinda I got you beat- my kids still do this to me! and MY DOGS TOO!-That Bouvier puppy I have, not only finds me in the bathroom but loves to put his head in between my knees for me to pet him-GAH!I get no peace-even in the big tub of mine, in they all come…And the hubby too-What happens after we become wives and/or mothers, do have a big sign on forwards that reads “can’t sh** alone”?
>My dd was wondering if others were at home…why couldn’t they entertain Baby so you could go?But I looked at her and said that “she (you) weren’t the only mom that had happened to.” and she said “Oh!”
>My girls are older, but still find a reason to hunt me down when I’m on the pot. Today there was knocking and then, “Come quick! I just spilled my juice into my backpack.”
>I think you just wrote about my day on Monday!
>t., since I ate organic spinach, I’m pretty sure I am ebola-free. Woo hoo! I am getting lots of searchers looking for “spinach ebola virus” though. Heh. At least I’m not alone.
>I am embarrassed to admit, but I have ended up doing my pottying with a toddler sitting on my lap. I really had to go and she didn’t want to be set down, not even for a second. Five years later, I do get to go by myself…
>Ha – I don’t even bother with the door anymore, she just busts it open and marches on in. I indeed, set her up for handwashing if I want to be there for more than 30 seconds! keeps her busy. and off my lap.
>”Iss ME! Open door, please!”That totally cracks me up.I would like to tell you it gets better, but I did a whole post about my 5-year-old doing the EXACT same thing to me about 6 months ago. 🙂 Lawd. And doesn’t it seem like if Baby was so obsessed with the bathroom she would spend more time in there herself, you know using the facilities??? That’s what always killed me…you’re here, you see what I am doing, now why-oh-why are you still pooping in your pants, child? *sigh*
>I’ve solved this by warning that if they go out they may not return. And then listening to the whining on the other side. But once you do this once or twice, they get it. When I”m finished I go out, hold them, explain to them that they chose to go out, and mommy said they couldn’t come back in if they go out, and after one or two times, they are fine with staying out, or in.
>I must be a horrible mom. I just let mine stand outside the door and cry.
>Gah !argh … why did I laugh when this is so me .. I should be crying .. wait .. are those tears …Gah !
>Doesn’t that just drive you nutty? It’s been almost 4 years now since I’ve gone to the bathroom by myself.