When my Anthropologie catalog arrives in the mail, it’s a true cause for celebration- I can thumb through its pages and blissfully lose myself in a mind-blowing alternate reality that Tim Burton himself would envy, a place where gigantic scissors, paper chickens, and four foot houses are completely normal.
But don’t take my word for it– See for yourself. If you lived in the weird world of Anthropologie, here’s what life would look like:
Your mail carrier would despise you.
You’d consider your new shoe storage method to be adorably twee… at least until it rained.
Your shopping addiction would force you to squat in a condemned house with no heat or running water, but damn, girl. You’d look GOOD.
Your sleeping habits would be… shall we say… unorthodox.
Your plans for a carefree game of badminton…
…would go pathetically awry.
Archery would have even more vexing results.
You’d constantly bitch about all the time you spent cleaning up after your enormous paper pet chicken.
You’d make Epic Bedhead the hottest hairstyle since The Rachel.
You’d be a fashion risk-taker– daring to wear white pants places white pants have never been worn before.
You’d spend your life trying to prove that no one could live without a pair of your patented Gigantic Scissors.
You’d dream of one day living in a world where people could accept your need to live in a house that was four feet high.
You’d attempt to set the Guinness World Record for Best Dressed Woman in a Root Cellar. Unfortunately, no one from Guinness would agree to come out and witness your efforts.
Garden spades would turn you on.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I need to go lie down.
All images courtesy of Anthropologie