>The Babysitting Elite
>I had babysitters on the brain last week, all because I was working on a column about them. Here’s the next question: Would you pay $100 to be introduced to local babysitters from an elite university? I did. (Luckily, I was reimbursed!)
I wrote about the experience in this week’s Nashville Scene edition of Suburban Turmoil. The column is reprinted here in its entirety…
The Babysitters’ Club
Barring a romantic date with Dr. McDreamy, this has got to be the ultimate mommy fantasy. Sixteen Vandy girls stand before me, all clamoring to watch my kids while I go out on the town. Lucky for me, I’m wide-awake.
“My name is Mary Alice!” one of the girls says, stepping forward and addressing me, along with the other six moms who’ve shown up to meet them. “I’m an early education major and I! Love! Children! I’ve been a counselor at Camp Costsalot in North Carolina for the past seven years! I’m CPR certified! I’m vice president of Gamma Bananarama sorority! I tutor underprivileged children three times a week! I have five brothers and sisters and I’ve helped take care of them my whole entire life!”
Holy shit. I can’t help but grin back at her, imagining the golden afternoons Mary Alice is destined to spend with my two little ones, taking them on walks to the playground, reading them books and singing them songs. Sighing contentedly, I almost forget the $100 charge on my credit card that gained me admittance to this Mommy Mixer.
One look at the idyllic mother-and-child photographs on the Mommy Mixer website makes it clear that this is an event geared toward those moms who favor smocked rompers for their little boys and can use the term “kiddie couture” without laughing. Self-described as an “exclusive mixer that allow[s] moms and sitters to spend one hour networking in high-end boutiques and hip locations around town,” the Mommy Mixer business launched in Austin, Texas in 2003 and has grown to include 20 cities across the country. The Nashville event I’m attending is being held at Boutique Bella on West End, where Mommy Mixer attendees get a 10% discount on all merchandise. Glancing at the price tags, though, I quickly determine that I’d need an 80% discount to afford any of these duds.
Of course, I’m in the minority; most of the other moms milling about appear to have been spat from the same Stepford-by-way-of-Franklin factory. Each is a nattily dressed, well-coiffed blonde, and if the babysitters seem anxious to impress, the moms are equally eager to win the girls’ admiration.
“Flannery and Sarah Parker are six and four,” one mom says brightly. “They are both involved in so many activities, really, I’m embarrassed about it. I need help getting them to everything.”
“Hyde and Tallulah attend Snootford Academy,” says another. “We live in Franklin, but it’s really not far. Really, it’s not. Just a short walk from Vanderbilt, really.”
The next mom outdoes us all, somehow managing to mention her membership on a prestigious board and the size of her house along with the names and ages of her children. “I mean, it’s not like my house is even that big,” she says modestly as she relates a story about discovering her last babysitter doing god-knows-what in her attic. “It’s only 4,000 square feet.” She finishes with a triumphant smile on her face.
Suddenly, it’s my turn. “Well, I’m a writer, so my schedule is very flexible,” I begin hesitantly. With no McMansion to reference, I have to step up my game. “My kids are incredibly well behaved!” I gush. “They’re very laidback and they never cry. Seriously!” I glance at the other moms, who look none too pleased. Score!
After the introductions are made, we mingle. I make a point to personally meet each potential babysitter, wishing I had the breezy confidence of the mom I overhear chatting up a child psychology major across a counter full of designer jeans. “I do have a pool,” I overhear her say, as if she knows her statement will seal the deal. “And? It’s heated.”
Truthfully, the only thing that makes this mixer worth my while is The Babysitter Book, a binder that’s handed out to all the moms in attendance. It contains the resumes, availability schedules and contact numbers of 24 Vanderbilt coeds and, lest my friends out there think I’m going to share the wealth with them, forget about it. I had to sign a form promising not to divulge the girls’ information to anyone before I could even get my hands on a copy.
I used my first Vandysitter a few nights ago, and, while I spent way too much time cleaning my house prior to her arrival (because I may be poor, but I’m proud!) and had to pay her double the rate of my usual sitters (who also happen to be my stepdaughters), I have to admit it felt damn good having two dozen potential babysitters at my fingertips. I’m just not sure it felt 100 dollars good. I mean, is this really what it takes to find a non axe-murdering sitter in a town where moms jealously guard their babysitter lists as though they also contain the name of that diet doctor who prescribes whatever you want?
Thank God I don’t have to find out.
>IF I didn’t have family in town that would be a great option. I think my husband would rather stay home than pay $100 to get names of people who babysit!
>There is actually a way to get access to Vandy babysitters for free—but I can’t post it here without the risk of losing the 5 or 6 that I recruited this fall! As per the previous discussion, babysitter information is SACRED in our household, even among trusted friends. One of my graduate students once asked for the number of my sister-in-law who was babysitting my toddler once a week for FREE. Yah, right!
>WOW! Interesting concept. I would do it if I had no other options and my good friends wouldn’t reveal the secret of their sitters (wink) It’s a lot of money and you could probably find just as good of sitters through other avenues but I would definatelyconsider this because there is nothing more important than our kids and who is caring for them.
>I wrote this information in the comments of my last babysitting post, but several years ago, we found babysitters for my older girls by calling the career centers of our local colleges. They posted an ad and we got some wonderful babysitters that way- One of them became a family friend and later came over to tutor the girls when they were too old for babysitting and to just have dinner sometimes.I’d think the Mommy Mixers are great for career women who don’t have time to recruit sitters on their own- but all of the moms at the event I attended seemed to be wealthy SAHMs!
>Are you kidding me ? I just don’t see the justification for that kind of expense just to find an experienced, college educated babysitter. There are ways to access these types of sitters for free (posting at colleges as you mentioned) so I suppose I don’t get the point. Besides, I don’t honestly believe a sitter needs to be college educated and have volunteered at kids camp,pediatric hospitals etc etc.A quality babysitter need only be honest, reliable ,criminal history free and be able to treat my children with kindness, respect and compassion. In my mind those things do not require a college education. Parents can do much of the screening that these types of services do without paying such a high fee. For the parent that doesn’t have family/friends/access to referrals from a trusted friend then putting in a little legwork on the front end (advertising at colleges, Craigslist, other free sites then properly interviewing and checking sitters references and background) will save time and money down the road.
>Honestly, I thought the whole idea was ridiculous before I went. But I have to admit that the Babysitter Book is a truly awesome thing- and if I had $100 to burn, knowing what I know now? I would totally do it.Also, the resumes do make a difference. I find it hard to believe that a sorority officer/ early childhood education major/ Pencil Partners president/ Vanderbilt student would ruin her future career by being a horrible/abusive babysitter. It’s not foolproof, but it does make me feel more confident.
>All this makes me damn glad my mom, dad, and inlaws are just a short drive away!
>I use my local network of friends as references. I’ve also used friends of a couple trusted sitters. I must admit, I do keep the list close to my chest…I lost a good sitter to a friend who could pay more! I love this one family: 10 kids, 6 of whom are babysitting ages…SCORE!
>I’m blessed…I have a 16 y/o girl right next door, literally less than 10 steps from her door to mine. Before that, my duplex neighbor had a 14 y/o girl who was thrilled to come sit.AND???? I scored the equivalent to your “vandy girl sitter” this summer when my son’s preschool swim instructor gave me her number – she’s a 3rd year elementary education major at KSU, right here in town. YAY! Seriously? I wouldn’t pay $100….I’d rather contact someone who knows someone who knows someone…works better that way!
>I’ve found that my kid’s preschool is a great places to find babysitters, too. Or any preschool if your kids don’t attend. Ask your friends, ask the teachers. Last year my daughter’s teacher would sit for you! We were blown away – she is working on her Master’s and is just amazing, but she needs the cash. Her sister, in college, also sat, and many of the teachers had teens who were experienced and willing. Also, I”m a fan of training up the local 13 year old – start as a mother’s helper and soon you have a pro who does things your way, bless their hearts.
>Ugh! I cannot wait until my kids don’t need sitters any more. There just doesn’t seem to be anything good about it.
>I think it’s a interesting idea. But $100 bucks and signing a form that you won’t divulge the information. As if it’s some Skull and Bones babysitting group. Oh, come off. LOL! Like I said, interesting. But not one I’d participate in, even if I farted money out of my butt. There are other ways to find babysitters without a blood oath.
>Do the child police ever tell you at what age they can sit themselves? I bet not.
>We found two parents night outs. 1 was at our YMCA from 6-11 for $15 per kid and the other at a church from 6-10 for the same price. That seems to be good once a month for us.BTW – this ad is on your page that’s linked:SEXTOY.comHuge selection of adult products and videos. On demand video – no membership required. Money making opportunities in the adult industry also available.
>Um, Im probably not the right person to comment, as I am too cheap to pay for a babysitter, most of the time. I have a great stay at home mom that watches my littlest one on occasions, for $7 an hour…but all of the teens want $15 an hour, so I usually try to find other moms who are willing to swap child care.I feel much better with a mom who has kids, and it is a win-win for both of us.I would never pay $100 to be introduced to girls….there are plenty of ways to meet girls who want to babysit….
>If I only knew, my wife would have been in attendance.We are always looking for someone not affiliated with my child’s preschool that can sit for us in a pinch.As I have said before, the one time we used a service (with a gun to our head) the sitter spanked our 12 month old because he pinched her and she “does that with her children.”
>For those of us on a budget, yes $100 seems steep. However, honestly…if you are lacking family in local proximity, friends to help. or reputable friends/neighbors who have great babysitters…this sounds like an awesome idea. And not all that expensive in getting it done.I don’t have a grandmother that is available at moment’s notice. I don’t have friends who are clamoring to keep my child (and neither am I clamoring to keep theirs)….and if given the chance to have names at my fingertips of good babysitters…I’d pay the $100. All you have to do is turn the tv on on search the net to read horror stories of what is happening to children. I’d definitely like to know that my babysitter was good than chance it.Again, I realize that not everyone can pay the $100. But great for those that can!
>I work at a college, in the career services office.We maintain a list of students who are interested in babysitting, but indicate that the families are responsible for their own screening process.Last year, the list was 11 pages in Excel.Didn’t even think about charging for it!
>Bossy thinks there should be a Rent-A-Grandma program.
>I am SO with Bossy!$100 is steep, but for those with the cashola, why not? That book sounds AWESOME. I did as you did, Lindsay & recently contacted the career services office at a nearby college — can’t wait to get some responses! There are some other area colleges I’m going to hit too… I like that tip.
>My babysitter is getting ready to turn 17 and she started with me at 13. We’ve taken her on extensive trips (not babysitting related) and she travels with us 6 months out of the year for cheerleading (of which her and my 2 younger daughters all cheer at the same gym). We gave her a car this summer and when she babysit’s for me it’s a tank of gas, $8 an hour, cash in the pocket for her and younger kids to use at the mall, at least 2 meals paid for and complete access to my checkcard 24/7. I’d say $100 was a bargain!!! HAHAHA Rock on with your super secret babysitter notebook. I’m jealous!!!Missy
>$100 for that kind of a list sounds like a bargain to me and I’m on a pretty tight budget.Seriously. If you don’t have family in town and you don’t know any moms who want to trade babysitting, that kind of information is invaluable.I would never think of hiring a stranger off craigslist. I can’t believe someone suggested that.And yes, you can do a background check on your own, but who has time for that? I have put ads up in the career planning offices of several schools near us, but I always seem to get the weirdoes…The ones who don’t have their own transportation (even though my ad specifically said “must have own car”); or the foreign students who want to cook up some stinky meal in my kitchen. No thanks. I’d rather go to a Mommy Mixer, shell out $100, and have a pre-screened list of Buffies who, as Lindsay pointed out, are using this to build their resumes.