The Cold Hard Truth About Exercising and Eating Right

  1. AmysAdventures says:

    One of those last three pictures exactly represents my life right now (not gonna say which one)…..
    I’m a full year into the 40s and it is just like the 30s except I’m older.

  2. Bethany says:

    Thank you. It had to be said, and you’re the one for the job! High five for doing all that and hating it!

  3. OK, I’ve discovered that the fun part of being *of a certain age* is that every time you hear one of those flat-bellies at the gym start complaining about their (virtually undetectable) cellulite and their (not visible to the naked eye) wrinkles, you can nod sagely, and with a great degree of certainty tell them, “Yeah. That gets worse.”

  4. Xinia says:

    I THINK EXACTLY THE SAME!!!IS SO NICE TO SAY OOOOH GOD finally FOUND NORMAL PEOPLE….I workout n eat healthy but i like to eat sweets…greasy food!!!!n drink too !!!!! n I am not going to change my lifestyle I just wanna look very good on my pants n swimsuit but not too look or looking forward to become the next Michelle Lewin or fitness model….

  5. Fina says:

    Very well said 🙂

  6. Aimee Giese says:

    ha ha girl you crack me up and THANK YOU. Exercise for me is carrying the laundry upstairs, or doing a photo shoot. I am so bad.

  7. cheesehead4ever says:

    “In short, I’m exercising and eating right ONLY because I have to in order to feel good and fit in my clothes, not because I just want to because it’s SO FUN. And apparently, I’m the only 39 year old woman in all of Facebookland who feels this way.”

    Yes!!!! I am 41 and I block people who make Facebook posts like the ones you mentioned. Your children do NOT love their kale smoothies and stop bragging about your workout! I’ve been fighting my weight since puberty and the only reason I eat healthy and exercise is to not go above a size 16. It is not because I enjoy it!

  8. My wife bought that book about hiding healthy crap in food that kids like, so that we can eat better. Jerry Seinfeld’s wife wrote it. I believe it’s called “Deceptively Delicious.” We also got a Vitamix for Christmas this year and use it for mixing healthy crap that’s green with good stuff like fruit, and I drink that after I exercise in the mornings. So, yeah, I get it.

    I will say this, however: I’m glad to have a summer birthday, so I can give all my friends from high school shit when they turn 40, knowing that my birthday is still 4 months away! Kinda makes up for having to get rides around Hendersonville from them when I was still 15.

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      I keep seeing Facebook updates about my various high school friends turning 40 and my first reaction is always “40?! GAH! How did he/she get so OLD?!”

      And then I remember it’s about to happen to me, too.

      It’s the end of the world as we know it.


    (While I do indeed love working out, I totally agree with the food portion of this post!)

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      And yet, I never see you post about working out… unless you count snorkeling in the Caribbean or skiing on top of a mountain and THAT? That is TOTALLY different! 😉

  10. Mike Weaver says:

    ROFL. “Exercise. Eat Right. Die Anyway.”

  11. Melissa says:

    Ugh. Thank you. Because sometimes I just want a cheeseburger and fries, dammit, and I want to enjoy every single cellulite inducing bite. Because THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR REAL BREAD AND DEEP FRIED POTATO STICKS. And I don’t work out because I like it, either. I work out because if I don’t I have a flat ass and I don’t like it. If it weren’t for my trainer who also happens to be a good friend and who I can make nasty faces at and flip off while she’s kicking my butt and we just laugh hysterically, I probably would hardly ever work out.

  12. Leah says:

    I too will be 40 in June (throwing myself a big party) and agree with your entire post. I recently joined planet fitness, hate exercise but love going. Treadmill walking and elliptical that’s my thing. I am also starting up Herbalife again because it works.
    However I will never be up at 4:30 a.m. to work out, I will never love exercise, and I will always love eating crappy foods. Just trying to do a little better.

    • suburbanturmoil says:

      That’s another thing- I don’t understand how so many of my friends get up really early to work out. I’ve tried working out first thing in the morning a few times and I was exhausted afterward- NOT a great start to my day! I do best working out mid to late afternoon, when most of my thinking work for the day is done…

  13. Suzanne Myers says:

    Hysterical. Best laugh all morning!

  14. […] Our friend Lindsay at Suburban Turmoil is always hilarious. If you are overwhelmed by the world’s public obsessions with Paleo, Crossfit, Green Smoothies, HIIT, and other cult-like dedication to healthy habits, her parody is funny. […]

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