>The Dreaded Belly Rub
>The first time I was pregnant, I heard a lot of complaints from other knocked-up women about the number of strangers who would randomly rub their bellies at the post office or the supermarket. I listened to these accounts with a mixture of horror and fascination. Who would do such a thing? And why? And how would I react when it happened to me?
Fortunately, it didn’t. Apparently, my belly was totally unapproachable. While other pregnant tummies were just begging to be rubbed, mine seemed to have the words Touch me and die written across it in invisible ink.
Of course, they say every pregnancy is different and my second one is no exception. I was at a family dinner the other night in LA when it happened. One of my in-laws’ neighbors was saying his goodbyes when he extended his hand. I put out my own hand in return, only to be met with air.
Oh Lord. He was going for the belly.
Before I could stop him, he had rubbed my stomach. And it felt every bit as personal as if he had fondled my breast. Because for one thing, at six weeks pregnant, I didn’t even have much of a belly to speak of, and for another, I was wearing a knit dress, so, um, ick.
To add insult to injury, he then took my hand, still extended as I stood frozen in shock, and…
He kissed it.
I felt a little bile back up in my throat as I choked out a goodbye before furiously wiping my saliva-misted hand on my dress.
As we drove home in the car half an hour later, I blurted out, “Leon rubbed my belly,” during a moment of silence. I couldn’t say why, but it felt I’d said that he’d grabbed me and tried to give me a hickey outside the women’s room. I expected the men in the car to angrily threaten to kick Leon’s ass the next time he dared to show his face at the front door.
Instead, there was laughter. Lots of it.
“Oh no!” “Oh no he didn’t!” “Ha ha ha ha ha!”
They simply couldn’t understand.
I wish there were belly armor on the market- Something hard and impenetrable to wear over my belly so that it could never be rubbed again. Better yet, something that would deliver an electric shock to those who choose to violate my personal space.
In the meantime, I’m going to have to establish some boundaries.
Let’s each do our part to keep our hands to ourselves around pregnant women and I guarantee this world will be a better place.
>First of all good luck with your pregnancy, hope everything goes well. Second……you shouldn’t have to worry about boundries. I just don’t know whats gotten into men lately. They don’t seem to be chivalrous towards women at all. I don’t know you, but if I did, and this gentleman had done this in my presence, believe me, I’d a put the boots to him. Enough said……again good luck, I hope all goes well for you and the new baby. L8tr Chris
>And don’t…I repeat DO NOT…the last month or so, ask a pregnant woman “YOU STILL HAVEN’T HAD THAT BABY YET?!?!?!”
>”Umm..I’m umm..Leon….and I am a belly rubber…heheheheh….”Maybe there should be a 12 step program for the belly rubbers…YUCK! Congrats on the pregnancy!
>Not having been pregnant yet, I can’t comment on that. I’m guilty as hell of talking to pregnant bellies more than touching them. And that’s only with people I know. Know well, I might add.On the same lines, I witnessed a horrific occasion. We worked at golf course, and a co-worker brought her week old baby in to meet everybody. A golfer came in off the course at that moment, sweaty and stinky, had been handling clubs, golf balls, and probably his own….and the guy walked right up to that baby, held his hands and bent down and kissed all over his face.The new mom kept her composure but I about went off. Considering this is the same guy who would walk into other people’s wedding receptions and steal food off their buffets, I had plenty of chances to yell at him.
>I swear to god, the first non-hubby person who comes up to me and rubs my belly I will kick them in the box/balls.
>I never had anyone rub my belly when I was pregnant–let alone a man! I’ve heard it’s very common though. Perhaps we should have t-maternity shirts made that say “this belly off limits” or something.
>Yet another argument for carrying hand sanitizer at all times.
>Actually I’m guilty as well, and I know I would hate that too. How about a stranger picking up your baby and KISS her on the cheek. EWWW!!! I think that’s worse than having my prego belly rubbed. But I feel your pain though.
>I got this a lot when I was pregnant with Hurricane and it made me crazy. My initial response was to smile and say “I bite”Then I found it even funnier to reach over and start rubbing their belly. They usually got the hint at that.
>i woulda kicked him
>If it felt sleezy than it was. We women have instincts, you know. Next time do something awkward. Like if he rubs your tummy, rub a bald spot on his head, or worst yet, rub his belly.
>This happened to me a LOT in my first pregnancy. But I was also a lot quieter and cared about people’s feelings 8 years ago (OMG my baby is gonna be 8 this month). With my last pregnancy. I flat out told people who rubbed or went in for the rub if they touched me it was at their own risk. I hate when people touch me. I hate it even more when strangers try and touch my baby. I’ve laerned to try and be polite about it but sometimes jsut saying “don’t touch me/her” is the only way it gets through their heads. Good luck.
>Oh God, I feel for you! I haven’t been pregnant in over 12 years, but some things never change. Heh, my kids in utero would violently kick any hand placed on my belly.
>The other thing that disturbed was after Jack was born people would ask if I delivered vaginally.Hey Deli Lady, I don’t want to discuss my vagina with you, okay?You should make a shirt that says not to touch the belly. Or a button or something.
>i’ve have the same problem, although i’m now 13 weeks, and just *barely* starting to show. my policy is: “if you feel me up, i’ll feel you up” if they touch my belly, i touch theirs, or grab their boob. sometimes i warn them, although yesterday i went straight for the boob, and then stated my policy. i don’t think she’ll touch me again. *evil grin*
>I was only fondled once while pregnant and the offender got their hand slapped…HARD.What makes people think that just because a woman is pregnant they have carte blanche to feel said woman up?
>The Tshirt IS a good idea!
>Oh no he didn’t! I definitely gave off a “Don’t touch me there or else” look when people would start to go in for the belly rub. I’m not a touchy-feely person normally, so why would people think they could touch me when I was pregnant! No way!
>We are having a company picnic on Friday at the lake. A guy at work asked me today “Hey Preggers, are you gonna be sportin’ a swimsuit?”I hate that guy.
>OMG, what is with some people?? When I was newly pregnant I got felt up by a *couple*! We were living in a very New Age community and some friends of my New Age-y ex came over to celebrate our news. Before they left, they backed me against a wall and felt my not-even-showing belly. I was too stunned to respond, but I read my ex the riot act after they left. I’m sure he passed my sentiments along, ’cause that couple stayed the hell away from me at all other gatherings. I don’t even touch my best friends’ bellies unless I ask, and even then I usually don’t touch unless they spontaneously invite me to do so. A body is a body. Boundaries always apply.
>Ugh. People still do that?
>I absoulutely hated people touching and rubbing my belly when I was pregnant. ALL five times!Now, I have since layed my head on my daughters belly when she was pregnant with my first grandchild.I did the same with my daughter in law, with my second grandchild. We had a moment when she was down and sick of pregnancy, and I hugged her belly and gave it a kiss. She rubbed my head. Would do that with someone that I wasn’t so close to we can finish each other’s sentences??? NO!
>heh heh… Leon the Pee-on, needed a turn-on?
>eww ! :(Leon the creepo – yuk !
>Leon with the pregnant belly fetish! Yuck. Luckily I had very few belly rub encounters during both my pregnancies. Unfortunately I did have one too many people ask me what I was having and when I replied girl they’d look me up and down and say, “Nah…yer havin’ a boy.” That was REALLY annoying.
>Gah belly rub. Hated it. My favorite was when I was asked, repeatedly, from about 4 months on, if I was having twins.No. Shuttheheckup.
>Ewww. That is such a violation of personal space. And old man doing it? Blech. Somehow much more excusable from sweet little granny type.
>Maybe we should design something like a pokey dog collar to wear over the preggo bump? But I like the electric shock thing too…but there’s probably somekinda waves that could be dangerous.How about carrying around a cactus??? ooooh a Yucka plant spike to stab at the wandering hand!
>Ew…that is just creepy. Shame on you Leon!I hated the unsolicited belly rubs, too. It’s like, when you become pregnant, you as a person and people’s respect for your “personal space” cease to exist, and you are now just a walking belly which everyone is free to touch, pat and rub at will. Ick.
>Ohhhhh so it’s the moustache. That explains a lot! The only one who rubbed my belly was my moustached superintendent, Mario, who looks a whole lot like a fat Sadaam Hussein. Just who you want touching you, right?
>Dang straight your tummy is OFF LIMITS. It is so icky when people just touch you just because you are expecting. Ew.Best wishes for you and your growing family!
>You could always get a supply of these maternity tees.http://www.nappyhead.co.uk/acatalog/donotouchthebump.html
>I expect belly rubbing from women, and it’s still not okay, but from men? UGH. I would be pissed! However, I think if you look mean while out in public places, people won’t rub your bellies.Though frankly, I find something creepy about rubbing a six week old belly…
>What is that about? And at six weeks? Leon may just be a man who cannot keep his hands off women…Thanks for your comment and yes, hopefully we will be in touch next summer…!
>Oh I’m laughing so hard! But yes, suddenly when you’re a pregnant woman you start getting treated with the same lack of respect people show children… with the patting and poking and (well, I don’t mean THAT kind of poking… you know what I mean!).
>Oh, god, I HATED that!!Do. Not. Touch. Me.You. WILL. lose. A. Hand.I mean, do you walk up to people that have gotten…say, a new LIMB, and caress the plastic appendage, and say “Wow, this is a great arm!! Congratulations!!”No. You don’t. Leave my damn belly alone.
>I only ran into one belly-rubber during my pregnancy and was so surprised that I didn’t even get my wits together to throw my drink on him! (It was just ice water, but it would have been a nice splash.)
>How is it at all possible that I didn’t even know you were pregnant? Explain that one missy. And it consider it your commuppence (sound it out, I’m sure it’s not spelled right)that you got your belly rubbed and I didn’t even know there was a belly to be rubbed!And there are some great t-shirts that state clearly, “DO NOT TOUCH THE BELLY”. Or “Touch the belly and lose a hand”.
>Hol CRAP! The Rub… already? WTH are these insane ninnies doing to the preggerz of the world? That is perfect birth control for me: having someone TOUCH my BELLY? Hello! Preggo or not, my belly sucks. Do. Not. Touch. The. Belly. or I will promptly open a can. period!
>Got that, Leon? You always crack me up. Love the pose.
>OK, it’s bad enough when the pregnant belly is VISIBLE and someone has the audacity to touch your stomach – but when you’re six weeks pregnant and not showing?!! Eww.
>The only times I got the belly rub, the rubber asked, “May I?” first.I usually said, “Since you ask so nicely, yes. Just this once.”And people only asked in months 8 & above when I was more tummy than anything else.Nobody ever just went for the rub without asking first. I just don’t get how anyone could just touch someone else without asking.
>I can not tell you how I can’t stand that! I also can’t stand belly rubbers who rub their own ALL THE TIME! So annoying. If you’d like I can teach you a move to remove a hand from your belly (and prevent it from never happening again) and a block to prevent it altogether. I’m totally serious. AND, don’t be shy about saying NO to the belly encroachers. If they’re taken aback, just ask them if they would be bothered if you reached out and just touched them! It’s obnoxious that people do that! AND, you’re 6 weeks pregnant! He has a better chance of feeling your avaries at this point. You’re going to hit a real nerve here for sure!
>”ever” happening again. God it’s hard to type comments with a 10 month old crawling on you!
>When I was 8 1/2 months pregnant, I was shoe shopping with my parents for shoes to fit The Swollen that became my feet and we ran into my favorite aunt in the whole world. She’s uber sweet and I lurve her much.But she rubbed my belly. A rub from her wouldn’t have bothered me, but she kept it up for a good couple of minutes, looking for the kicking and such. Okay, I could even live with that because she is my favorite aunt, but then she started rhythmically circling my belly button and kept. rubbing. After a full five minutes or so, and a few foot shifts from me, she finally dropped her hand. I never did tell her just how annoying that was, and it was only later that I came up with a good way to tell people to back off: “That hurts my stretch marks.” Not only will they most likely apologize for the egregious rub, but they might be likely never to touch another pregnant belly uninvited again.Don’t know if that would work for you since you said you don’t have much of a belly yet at only 6 weeks, but take it for later. Tell me if it works.
>This is the tshirt I wanted to wear every day of my pregnancy:Yes, I am excited.I am due September 18.No, we don’t know what we are having.No, we didn’t want to find out.I am feeling fine.And no you may not rub my belly.
>Strangely, I didn’t mind. Especially if I was asked. I always ask if someone is talking about their baby kicking and “they’re kicking right now”. But, at 6 weeks, I think that’s a little much.
>Oh, boy. Possibly my biggest pregnancy pet peeve, although I gave off such huge “don’t even think about it” vibes that no strangers even tried. Ok, maybe it was my, “Look but don’t touch” t-shirt. I loved that shirt… the problem was that the message was emblazoned across my breasts so it might have lost its impact a bit. This is such an unbelievabe invasion of personal space! I have heard stories of women who have responded by reaching out towards the offenders belly for a return-rub. =}
>I fucken HATE beller rubbers. Leave me alone!
>My experience is first about being under 5 feet tall. Being short alone seems to give people the idea I want to be patted on my head, hugged or touched without anyone asking first. Now add in being pregnant? OMG it was like open season on me! There was only one person, outside of our family allowed to rub me like a Buddha.When I was pregnant with our first child, my husband was in the air force and one of the pilots he flew with asked if he could rub my belly. I was thankful he asked, but when he reached over to rub my belly, I whisked my hand out and rubbed HIS belly. Any time he came near me, I got to his belly first. My husband thought it was hysterical to watch me and Butch exchange belly rubs. But he was the only one and it was on MY terms and it could only last a millisecond!